(no subject)

[reenka]

I think for the first time, I suddenly really understood how the people who have huge issues with canon feel, being in fandom, though not because I do myself, precisely. (Not that I don't have my own issues with HP canon, but just the sticking around anyway and the whole... feeling a bit alone and somewhat oppressed, haha, etc.)


Yeah, I mean... because I definitely have the same sort of burning issues, except with fandom/fanon instead of canon. It's sort of like fanon itself is a bit like an out-of-tune violin screeching in my ear at this point, it's kind of ridiculous. I mean, and I can't write meta about it either, not the way I could if it was canon, because then it'd feel like a personal attack or like I was saying people couldn't enjoy what they enjoy, etc, whereas it's just that I get this allergic reaction and I want to purge, heh.

Funny, because I love the -idea- of fanon, I love shared worlds, and creativity, and going in absurd directions, so what's happened to me? Why do I see a picture of say, over-the-top cross-dressing!Harry and feel sort of sick because I just... no. I could say I don't want to share Harry anymore, but it's not like he's mine; but somehow it's not about JKR or canon-thumping at all, it's about my ideas and my convictions having become rigid, and I hate that but I can't escape it because fandom's not inspiring me to anymore.

Even fanart, which always made me happy, which I unfailingly adore... even OOCness in fanart is driving me up the wall now, and I suppose that's a sign if nothing else is.

Well, so maybe I still don't fully empathize, because I don't think there's that underlying love people mention that drives me to criticize-- I mean, there is, but it's so... painful, so basically I just avoid rather than dwelling on it. It's just not worth it when 95% of all fanfic and even fanart for my pairing makes me seriously unhappy because I don't recognize the characters, or the dynamic is somehow exactly what I hate, or I refuse to suspend my disbelief because I want-- I need-- things to be better.

So... it's not like I'm announcing that I'm leaving in the sense of 'no more fic from me!', but yeah... I dunno. Do I still want to the Witching Hour? The main reason would be to see people I know and chat about geeky canon stuff without wank, so I guess that's still there. I can't believe I'm even questioning it, really. I was so sure I'd be there, because I loved Nimbus so much, and I loved meeting fandom people and being a total dork every time, it's just so... sad, I guess, because I've really overstayed, overworked my tolerance to the bone.

...Well, enough moping. Back to Basara & sweet manga oblivion!
~~

EDIT - Er... it appears I'm just having moodswings or... something (stress??) 'cause then fishnet!Draco made it all better o_0

BUT IT'S CANON, DON'T YOU SEE :))

...AND THEN AMALIN WROTE ME TOM/HAGRID-- I AM AT PEACE WITH THE WORLD! ♥♥♥ :O

Comments

[loftily.livejournal.com]

I don't know, Reena, I feel a little lost in post-HBP world!

I will unlock it just for you. :D

[shaggirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, Reena, you are the most conflicted girl I know. And of course you're going to TWH. >:|

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Why do I see a picture of say, over-the-top cross-dressing!Harry and feel sort of sick because I just... no.

1) You're weird. Harry looks hella hot in a skirt.
2) You're even weirder because you liked HBP so much, and I think this is why this is happening. When you think the canon is starting to suck, things goes smoother in fanon. When the canon is loved so so so much, it tends to be harder to explore fanon.
3) Considering your edit, I think it's just your hangup with Harry in fandom, because you're all over fanon!Draco. :P

[addictedkitten.livejournal.com]

Quit your bitching and write me some Meanwhile back at Hogwarts.

[black-dog.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of a reply to this and then I saw adorae_spinitrae pretty much said the main thing I was thinking -- not about you being weird :) -- but about the way fanon flourishes when people have issues with canon, but when there's really interesting canon then the same old fanon stuff can seem anemic. Also, Harry in a skirt, yay!

I sense that you really, really liked HBP, and I really did too, and it makes a difference. I mean, if you think about fanon not just for the "three year summer" but even before that, it's been a long time since JKR shook up the basic materials in a fundamental way. GoF gave us, at the very end, V's return, Death Eaters, and maybe a handful of small motifs but mostly it was WTF as far as new material was concerned -- with the exception of Maya, who is sui generis, after all, what can you do with a one-shot tournament? And OOTP, again, is so much a self-contained story, you can't really tell new Umbridge stories, or god help us Grawp stories.

It's maybe only a slight exaggeration to say that fanon has always been grounded in the first three books -- Harry, the Trio and their antagonists, the basic patterns of Hogwarts, nostalgia for the Marauders -- with bits adapted from 4 and 5, mainly a suit-yourself Voldemort plot. Don't you think? Or am I talking out my butt?

And now things have been fundamentally changed, in a way that neither of the last two books changed things, and it's sort of like: how can you still care about the same old stuff in fanon? Dumbledore's gone, Hogwarts is gone (for the Trio), Malfoy's all grown up, Snape is complex, there's politics, and mystery, and adventure, on a much bigger canvas.

Also of course the series is ending, which means that any further developments can and should be self-consuming, if that makes sense -- they don't have to sustain this world for Book 8, they can do anything with the material, they can use it up.

This probably should lead into a manifesto or rant on what fanon should be in the light of all these changes, but that is too much for my poor brain right now -- or possibly ever. But it sure as hell should be new. Even my beloved H/D has to be rethought, I think, for all the changes in character and circumstances (I am salivating at the thought of Big Bang II, but whatever the stories are, I hope they're audacious as hell.)

I think I'm tired of romance, for example, except in a few cases. I mean, when you have a sort of eternal, arcadian, essentially comic world, where nothing fundamental ever changes, then romance is a logical story to tell within that world, because it's how people pass the time. But that's just not what's interesting right now in HP canon. I make a partial exception for H/D because I think those two so badly need to connect, that one of the most interesting things about each of them is what truly knowing the other could do for them. But how many other HP couples could you say that about? I don't need to read about Ron and Hermione's sex life. The most interesting thing about Ron and Hermione is probably what they had for dinner yesterday, you know? And the most interesting thing about Snape is how he manages to live from day to day -- and why he even wants to. So we need, gen, adventure, mystery, character studies.

Yay for crankiness! I would apologize for this rant, but sometimes its fun to rant and rant back, so I wouldn't be being sincere. Anyway I don't really have fully formed thoughts about all this, only sort-of notions. But that's why you start with babbling and then see what makes sense.