on red lipstick.

Oct. 17th, 2017 09:22 am
quigonejinn: (Default)
[personal profile] quigonejinn
A ranking of bright red liquid lipsticks that I own:

1. Nars PowerMatte, Starwoman
2. Kat Von D, Outlaw
3. Beauty Bakerie, Cranberry Stiletto

Which is to say that these are all infinitely more fit for my purposes than the DHC or tube lipstick I grew up watching my mother use, where it's off and on my teeth in under 15 minutes, or where I don't want to eat or drink anything because it'll take the lip color off. If I'm going to wear a big vibrant fun red lip, I want to be able to, y'know, actually have fun with it on, right? Without worrying it'll come off on every water glass and pastry, right?

In that respect, Beauty Bakerie hits it the fuck out of the park. There is zeeeeeeeero transfer with that bad boy. None. Like, eat a floating island with concomittant custard and press your mouth with a full-on white napkin and see n o t h i n g. Not even a speck of red. The downside is that it's pretty drying, that it's fucking balls to get off the mouth at the end of the day, and worst of all, the formula is super-thin, which means that a klutz-hander like me always has problems, because I can't get it on in a single layer. I have to go back and patch it up and smooth out lines, which leaves me with bits that are darker and bits that are lighter. In nail polish terms, we'd say it was bad at leveling, and on the mouth, it's not a great look. It also dries down to a somewhat darker red than I'd like.

The liquid in the Kat Von D, on the other hand, goes on like a dream. It self-levels beautifully and has aaaaaaaaaaalmost the same level of staying power as the Beauty Bakerie, but comes off a lot more easily. It gets dinged because the application wand is awkwardly long and not quite as nicely shaped as the other two lipsticks on the list (there's a reason why the Kat Von D Glimmerveils have a much shorter application wand), and because if you do eat something like a super-buttery pastry and drink tea, you'll end up with ye olde butthole mouth, which is when the lipstick wears away in the ring where your mouth is wettest, but stays at the edges and, y'know. I'd suggest googling "butthole lips", but you'll end up with a lot of pictures of Donald Trump.

NARS Powermatte is, I think, my favorite right now. Yeah, it does have the most transfer of the three, and it takes BALLS LONG TO DRY. On the other hand, the applicator may be my platonic ideal of a liquid lipstick applicator, it goes on like a dream and doesn't feel drying at all, and since it's both a stain and a liquid lipstick, when it does come off, it comes off evenly, so I didn't get butthole lips, even when I put it through basically the lipstick version of the Inquisition -- a four hour appearance at a gala* during which I ate passed hors d'oevures and a four course dinner that was really actually six courses, as the last two courses of which were really four courses (cheese AND salad, omelette norvegienn AND petits fours) and the first course of which was freaking lobster thermidor, served in lobster bisque that you fucking better believe I mopped up with the entire mini-baguette it came with.

End of the night, I still had enough pigment left over that when I smooched Mr. Rhod on the shoulder, I left a big ol' mark. So the good! And also the bad! Though I'm trying to resist buying more NARS Power Matte because they're no longer cruelty-free.

* My life is not that fancy. Except when it is!

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