~~ redefining `waste of time'.

[reenka]

Seeing Aja's post about the fanfics she'd take to a desert island, I was immediately tempted to make my own list and "memefy" it, so to speak. It'd be so interesting to see what people's -honest- "desert island" list was, and if they had one.

Since I've read so many fics, I assumed I had one in me just waiting to be made into list form. But then I started thinking about it, and.... Oh god, it's -awful-. I couldn't think!

On the one hand, I wanted to take -all- of some authors-- all of Silvia (I could use up my whole list just saying, Silvia, Silvia, Silvia), all of Ivy (couldn't pick one! they all run together in my head!), all of Aja (and again!), all of Amalin (and again!). And Maya! Gah! I adore all her writing, but if I said `Dark Side of Light', how can I really mean I'll read it again and again? Once nearly broke my brain.

All of my favorite happy H/D WIPs don't work... I mean... I wouldn't reread them, I'm sorry. I love them, but I don't reread -anything-, especially not novels, and even moreso unfinished novels. Some of the novels I'd loved dearly while reading, and would rec and gush about, but I wouldn't take with me. Okay, not -some-, most.

And then when I was making my list, I saw to my horror that more and more of what I wanted to add wasn't H/D, which I found semi-disturbing. I can't pick out of the stuff I was/am obsessed with, but it's much easier to say, "I can't be without Penelope's Ronfic"? Would I really reread that Ronfic? I don't know! I just know that all of Penelope's writing is whole in my head, otherwise. I don't know how that -works-. Is it easier to see things you're not as emotionally invested in more clearly? Except I -am- emotionally invested. Like, it's -weird- picking Rhoddlet's Hermione/Ginny out of all her work... maybe it's because when I don't really -read- a pairing, the first memorable fic I read in it seems more perfect, being alone? I don't know.

As much as I love lists, it seems I think of some writers in terms of the gestalt of their work, rather than any particular one. Sort of like I can't pick any particular arc out of the Sandman, or something. And then, some things I love -so much-, but I don't know if I can come back to. Maybe something basic in the way I respond to what I see as brilliant writing doesn't lend itself to lists...? I always had "favorite authors" much more than favorite books. Probably my favorite fantasy author, Patricia McKillip-- I would say that it's her -writing- itself that endears a lot of her novels to me, rather than any individuality of plot, to a large degree. I would pick `The Forgotten Beasts of Eld' if I -had- to, but that's because it was the first I fell for and the most "stand-alone hit" one, really.

It's like, my love grows and feeds on every fic by that writer, using the previous fics to add to my appreciation of the new one, like it's all part of the same... I don't know... flow. I think with Silvia and Amalin's work, you definitely need to read it all in order to fully appreciate any one of them. I'm tempted to say the same about Ivy, too. There's a certain arc, a development of the characterization and style. I don't know, for some reason it's rather important to me.


1. Silvia's `And I Get By' - because this is what friendship could be.
2. Audrey's `Brief Interval Before the Resumption of Play' - because this is what desire is.
3. Ailei & Khirsah's `Drawing Down the Moon' [chapter 5]- because I want love to be like that.
4. Ivy & Lib's `In Dialogia' - because this is a thing of beauty.
5. Amalin's `Ice' - because this is what I'd wished she would write, and she did, somehow.
6. Aja's `Every Second' - because it breaks me, every time.
7. Miss Breed's `Contrition' - because every story should be so honest and understated and real.
8. Trin's lord-of-the-flies!Draco ficlet - because it feels like dreaming and awake, even -thinking- of it (and I do-- go figure).
9. Serious Black's `6 Ways of Unpinning a Butterfly' - because it feels like a piece of me I found, wild in the wind.
10. Bec's `H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' - because I don't know what it is, but it mesmerizes me on a purely visual level, and it has so much -drive-.

A part of me wanted to say `Irresistible Poison', simply because I'm just deeply sentimental and I keep picking at it like a scab, sometimes. In a way, fittingly, I have a love/hate relationship with it-- it's like everything I love & hate about H/D fics. I kept thinking of things and saying "no... no... no" to myself. So many things touched me once, but their power lies in memory rather than reality all the time. So many things I'm just not certain if I want to come back to again, even though I love them. I don't know why that is. think lists are evil, btw.

Comments

[nefeleo.livejournal.com]

I've been so far away from fic these days, and it's been relaxing and comfortable and I was beginning to like having my thoughts to myself, and here you go with your exquisite taste, reccing these fics for me to reread. Damn, it's all back in my head now, and I missed it so much. Thank you. :)

I would have to take two lists worth of fic with me- and really, they're almost seperate beasts to my mind: the epics with spectacular emotional rollercoaster writing, and oneshots with utter poignancy and satisfaction on every level.

Ah hell. I totally understand the gestalt appreciation, and more than fic, I would rather just take the AUTHORS to the desert island with me. We could all tell eachother stories. And drink rum. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

here here! can't forget the rum :D :D

the weird thing is that with the epics... i'm left with this feeling of knowing -h/d- better and knowing the -writer- better, but not really a print of the fic in my mind, the way i do with short stories. it's like... the bigger fics are too large and become something other than themselves, become part of some larger mythic story of The H/D Epic. i dunno. that just sounds weird -.-

hee. yah, we could form the The Free H/D Republic. i'm all for it, man :D :D

[nefeleo.livejournal.com]

that just sounds weird

No, it doesn't, it makes perfect sense to me. I feel exactly the same way. I have the same feelings towards published lit as well - short stories eat my brain, they're like tiny whitehot O stars, novels and series leave me with their archetypes and structures, they're like enormous, cool M stars.

Okay now I am being weird.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

!!
dude..! now i want to talk to you more about fic (well, more as in... before, we didn't, and look! heeeee!), as this is perfectly understandable to me and i'm all OMG YOU ATE PART OF MY BRAIN
!!1 which is always the best feeling, you know :D :D

mmmm, metaphors. yummy >:D
*giggles!*
it's funny that people looked at these as recs. they aren't. they're just like... "oh yeah, something about that fic just exploded in my head". which probably is as much to do with my easily-explosive head as anything. gotta be careful, you know. flammable substance~:)

[kerri]

6. Aja's `Every Second' - because it breaks me, every time.

This fic makes me cry *every* time I read it. Every single time. But it's a good way, and I adore it. It's the only one that can do that to me, really - except the end of Beautiful World, which gets me as soon as I read the last line.

*goes to read the others on the list that she hasn't read*

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

WAH. Thank you so, so much--both of you.

*feels loved*

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

Eheheheheh. I think this may be the line where meta and emotia divide. (did I just make up a word to classify myself? why - yes. I must be very clever.)
because most of those fics, weeeell, I liked them and they made my brain molecules move (dance for me, slave brain) and pleased me and were really worthwhile and made me respect the authors... in the visceral sense, did nothing for me. 'Heh - cool - moving on.'
and a couple I Really Dislike. They are now like, the Friend's Slimy Boyfriend of fics. 'No, really, *ugh*, what does she see in *him*?'
The only one I'd agree with would be 'And I Get By' but I'd *really* agree with that. (I have found a link back to you, dear heart!) Yes -and *yes.* Tattoo on body to take to island. I don't even know why, but my perfect faith in you, unmarred by all this fic opinion divide, tells me that you will know how to say why for both of us, when the Fic Day of Judgement comes.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*giggles* oh dear. now i really want to know which fics you h8, and whyyyyy :D :D
tell, tell!! *puppy eyes*
snark! pain! bloodletting!! >:D<

this listing process is really unnatural for me. i don't even know -why- picked these except i was thinking, "have to pick one by silvia, have to pick one by aja, have to pick one by ivy and amalin and rach... and oh yah, i can't pick just one by maya, WOE... oh yah, dude, i love poetry, so in it goes.... oh yah, have to pick one by trin... tricky..... and yah, my s/r fic-of-doom....this leaves the cho-fic, which i can never forget for its perfectly-cho-ness.... and er... yah.

even weirder is that some of these i included because i -used- to have an emotional visceral reaction at one point, and haven't re-read them in ages, so i dunno if i do anymore.
but i like nef's idea. i'll just kidnap you & aja & ivy (oh god, i hope the island doesn't implode -.-) & erin & cassie & amalin & (getting greedy now) cassie claire & penelope &....... hee.

i really wanna know who the slimy boyfriend is, man. *giggles* i'd have thought these were innocuous. except for `every second', maybe, 'cause it doesn't exactly represent aja's writing, necessarily. and i'd include things like `artful facade' and ip but everyone would laugh at me. it's so much easier like with bec's fic, where it's so pretty and -short- and i can just look at it and go, óooooh, prettyyyyy.
like, what i'm saying is, the pretty stays with me constantly, whereas the visceral punch of a fic varies depending on my mood or receptivity at that moment... it's like porn, you know? the first time i read a smut-scene i'm all "w00t!!1" but the second and third time i already know what's coming and it deadens me, so it's the writing that has to carry it. or something...?

hee.
i am completely flippant.
except for my love-of-gestalt, which is unwavering and true. i want to have it all, in other words~:)
on the Fic Day of Judgement, i will be cowering and clutching my hoard of maya-and-aja-and-ivy-and-silvia fics in my sekrit basement in case someone comes to take them away : D:D

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

kidnap you & aja & ivy (oh god, i hope the island doesn't implode -.-)

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

No, Ivy and I will just glare at one another sullenly until the day our sublimated passion spills over and we proceed to find a deserted island hallway to fight/snog in.

< Disclaimer> THAT WAS A JOKE. </ disclaimer >

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

one thing is certain:
in the event of said kidnapping, i will be sure to remember the popcorn :D :D

*cracks up*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

!!!!!.fjahlsklalfkajdha

OMG I AM SO DEAD RIGHT NOW!!1

i will never get that image entirely out of my head, you realize. and to think (oh god) i've seen you both in real life.

*wails*

also.
weapons fetish?!?
*flails*
WHY ARE YOU NOT BETTERING THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR-CHOICE-OF-WEAPON!H/D smut!?!??
*weeble!*
*holds rest of gunsmut for ransom* :D :D

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

I am glad you have died because I am going to go now and delete my comment before the veelas all come and THROW things at my HEAD.

Dude, I told cassie well over a year ago that i would write H/D sword slash from Draco Sinister, but then I read Quicksilver and, pbbt, you can't improve on perfection so why try? :)

But ever since I saw Johnny Depp's pistol fellatio scene in Before Night Falls I have been quietly growing more needy for the weapons smut. very, very needy.

*whimpers, weebles pitifully*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

heheheh. the smut has turned into a fic, man. it's scary.
it's now all prison!h/d and death-eater!draco and post-hogwarts and er... plot :-?
how'd -that- happen? ^^;
called it 'works of mercy'. heheh. used to be called "loaded". *laughs*

also, there can -never be enough- sword!smut. NEVER. heee.
you understand, right? i mean... you don't -improve- on perfection, you simply.... perv onwards :D :D

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

also--i have never, *ever* understood what people see in Bec's fic or Trin's Adventures in Ice-O. Never. I feel like there's something obscure and brilliant that I must just not be smart enough to get because I'm *really* not getting it. I read these two fics and I'm like ...okay. every time. and i just do not understand the appeal.

Explain?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hmm. i'm just a sucker for poetry, you realize-- as far as bec-- and for rhythm. it sort of messes with my head like a drug of some sort. I get all happy :))
well, that's -good- poetry.

Some people. They say we're together. I don't believe it myself, but say we're taking this as a
given:
H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)
find:
what it would be like.

oh-oh-oh.

it's like magic, you know? in my mind, draco (or The Reader, ehhehe) is standing next to a mic, maybe, in front of an audience, in the dark. his voice is smooth and sure, and he's basically saying all this provocative, dirty stuff, his voice distant and passionate at the same time, removed and right there, mocking and needling and oh-so-serious. i dunno. it reminds me of lib's draco in `in dialogia', who's all cold and cutting and incandescent.

Seventh year 17-year-olds, NC-us.
Let's be original, do it in
midair the library the lake a dormitory:
be quiet, will you?
shit, what do I need to do, gag you?

and then there's the bits of dialogue still rhythmical almost like some sort of verbal -fucking-, even, the rhythm inexorable, it hypnoticizes me. the -brashness- (Nc-us), the boyness. i just feel it there, somehow. maybe that's not really draco at all, just some melodramatic poet-boy with an out-of-control libido, but i like him like that, man. can't help, am a slut for poetry and the rhythm, man, the -rhythm-.

H/D = Harry divided by Draco.
Cleaved in twain, if you will. Pierced up the center.
You were looking for porn? Let's give it a try. Divide him:
Turn over fuck that's right c'mon open up spread for me let me see yeah good okay hold still hold still I said mm god you like that tell me how it feels how you like it yes you can talk dammit just open your mouth and don't censor anything.

i love that. harry divided by draco. i can almost hear the sneer in that voice, the -intensity-. Divide him. i dunno, the metaphor of division and equations and proofs and rates... it's rather meta, actually. i think the whole thing is very meta, but it's got this sexy rhythm to it, if you're into that sort of thing~:)

as far as trin...
her stuff's just mad, but i love mad. it's a kink~:))
i also like her chiahuahua!draco and lord-of-the-flies!draco and albino-spider!draco more than ice-o!draco, though that was probably the first fic of hers i'd read. insanity, man. it's what's for breakfast :>
again, my personal positive bias, i dunno if anyone else digs it for that reason. surrealism is probably my most favored type of story after magical realism~:)
and i think trin's the best surrealist writing h/d in the fandom~:)

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

I am completely the opposite. I very rarely like writers, just as I rarely consistently like popular musicians - I focus totally on the independent characteristics of the work in question.

But your way of thinking reminds me of what Aja was saying, about how she likes the fics that seem the 'essence' of their authors.

These discussions make me wonder about the futility of fic-reccing in general. If the fics you like most, you like for impact, or some emotional thing, then you can't guarentee they'll have the same impact on someone who does not think the same as you. On the other hand, if you try to judge objectively, you get nowhere, because brilliantly crafted fiction can leave you cold if it doesn't mean anything to you, personally; if you can't relate to it emotionally (not in the sense that you have something in common with it, but it hits you in that vulnerable place).

The only one of these fics I have read is '6 Ways of Unpinning a Butterfly'. I thought it was rather good, an interesting take on the subject, with an interesting structure and descriptive styles, but it didn't particularly hit me or move me or stay in my mind.

Is it something in *you*, the way you think, that makes you like the fics you do? And can you identify what it is? I know the way I think which I use to explain my reactions to certain books, but I've never really thought that way about fic before - I always sort of assumed that if something was well-written, I'd enjoy it. But perhaps that's not strictly true.

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

Behold, in the interests of science I have gone forth and read, and here is what I think.

"And I Get By" - Interestingly written, interesting use of the second person, rather unusual kind of theme.

"In Dialogia" - I am left with the feeling that this is something I deeply just don't 'get'. Some turns of phrase that are quite inventive and pretty, but in general, no effect on me.

"Ice" - Nice treatment of the theme, though it seemed kind of obvious.

"H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)" - it's...trying to be witty with math?

"Every Second" - GUH.

So, there you have it. The fics that are the most precious to you have met lukewarm reception, with the exception of Every Second which I found very powerful indeed.

I think I am naturally inclined to longer fics - these short works are all in a sort of category that makes them function to my mind like
little short stories. I continually find myself thinking, Why is this a fanfiction? And yet I know they can't not be fanfiction, because they draw on the, er, archetypes of the original text.

They strike me, too, as something very targeted for a specific ship. The dynamics of the ship are assumed, from somewhere I'm not so familiar with. Which just makes me wonder. And go off on tangents. What is the H/D dynamic? It seems to vary a bit, because Draco in canon is still mostly a blank. I feel like I don't 'get' the dynamic and therefore I am simply not reached emotionally by these fics. They seem detached - from canon, I suppose - and I'm not with the ship, so I'm not making the link, I don't know how I got there.

Again 'Every Second' is the exception, managing to represent grief thematically, and yet still tying back to what I can make out of the H/D dynamic. Still I feel this detachment - like I've missed something, like I'm not into exactly why I should feel for this, other than the idea of grief which is pretty much universal.

I suppose it's my fault for ploughing into ficlets without having read the H/D staples. *sigh*

But! I would love to hear your thoughts. H/D! What is it? Why does it reach you? Explain it me.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I think the problem is partly how I picked these....
I mean, I had this idea that I "had" to pick something from certain authors... because... I dunno... I'd miss them if I didn't have them on a desert island.
I think Amalin's written "better" stuff, even stuff that's hit me more... but this is something that -I- wished she'd write 'cause she always writes darkfic or deathfic or what have you, and I feel... I dunno... proud of it in a way. The reason I picked that one out of Silvia's bouquet of gorgeous and multifarious ficlets is because she'd written it on my request and because no one writes H&D friendship fics and this is largely how I wanted to see it. So there you have 2 down because I'm just sentimental.

`In Dialogia' is just a gorgeous thing to me, regardless of whether it's H/D or not... I just... I love the voice in it, the emotional undercurrents. Which I guess not everyone would feel. I don't know if I consider it "fanfiction" but it clicks into the H/D slot in my head. But then, I have these mental representations, these "ghosts" of characters which I can use to overlay on things to make them "be" Harry & Draco more. Or something. Bec's fic... well, it's just pretty as well. It has this -bitterness- and rhythm and I'm a sucker for the play on words and the voice... I dunno. Simple things like, "Divide him" just resonante for me. Who knows why. It's not canonical by any means, it's just the flavor of angst and pretty that I associate with the pairing~:)
It's rather meta, I guess.

Trin's fic...
She usually almost always writes surreally, and I adore the imagery, again utterly apart from anything directly tied to canon. I just love her writing. I don't judge -any- of these by canon standards or by "good, representational H/D" standards, and I don't think these criteria have to be related. I have "H/D" in my head more than I've -ever- seen it in -any- fanfic. The only pairing I've "seen" in a particular fanfic is Sirius/Remus in `Drawing Down the Moon', but both these characters aren't that well fleshed out in canon especially pre-OoTP when this was read & written. And there's also the fact that I don't really -read- Sirius/Remus, so this story hasn't merged with any other characterizations in my mind. I have no "sirius & Remus" in my head, really.

I think I appreciate the above fics on a purely personal level, which is what that list was. It wasn't a "best of" list... I made that clear, right? It was a favorites list, and even there, I love the authors much more than these particular examples of them, which I wouldn't even call representative.

But yeah, to appreciate them you -would- probably have to read much more H/D. As far as novel-length things... like I explained, I wouldn't reread them. I just don't reread things (remember, this is a Desert Island list, so). Also, there's no pitch-perfect H/D novel-length that I can think of. I wouldn't reread Origins or Tale of the Shining Prince or IP, really.

As far as the H/D dynamic... it would take awhile to really pin -that- down. It's a question often discussed, but the answer of what's H/D is different to everyone who "sees" it. It has to do with wanting passionate, transformative love that overcomes all barriers, that is against all odds, that doesn't make sense and takes the world by storm. It's a question of idealism, of wanting to believe that such drastic change is possible, that love can pretty much be the catalyst for personal redemption, that one is not doomed to a static self. Also, just there's the potential to change the world they live in by the sheer anomaly that H/D would be.

Some people think Draco needs Harry and vice versa-- that they would complete each other. Basically, it's got all this potential for semi-utopian imaginings and it's also passionate, angry, angsty, love/hate and there's all this -tension- coupled with kinetic potential for unpredictable, wide-ranging results which is...er... sexy. Canonical it's not, but that's not the point-- the point is that it's a dream of sorts, a wild but mesmerizing possibility for the development of both their characters. You'd have to -want- this change to happen, I think, to really buy it. And did I mention that most of us think "I hate you, let's fuck" is just... hot? Heh.

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

*kicks livejournal* Post, you cantankerous beastie! Right.

Ah...yes, I know it wasn't a best-of list. I was just wondering about why some fics affect people, and not other people, and I liked reading your explanations.

Also thanks for elucidating on the point of H/D. It makes sense...as in, I get that impression from reading those fics...but because I have no basis I didn't know if this was quite the right impression, that all the H/Ders are getting and loving.

I feel guilty for lack of detailed commenting, but take that as a sign that I'm understanding what you wrote. Thank you again.

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

ALSO I OWE YOU AN EMAIL FROM LIKE MAY.

*facepalms*

I suck, I'm sorry.

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

Hello. :) Thank you for your comments on The Reader and Every Second. I'm replying to you here because, well, I was already spamming Reena's journal. :) (And I'm always interested in analytical feedback, as you'd mentioned writing for the first fic. I would be flattered to receive critique of any kind. :) )

You mentioned the theme of grief being universal in "Every Second"--I just wanted to point out, in case you somehow missed it or it wasn't obvious enough, haha, that that fic was written last year on 9/10. In fact every second of it was written entirely by hand with no revision while I sat sobbing my heart out for the victims of 9/11. When I posted it I friends-locked it because I didn't think it was a good fic--I thought it was written out of too much emotion to be really compelling. It took me a while to realise I was mistaken and post the fic to a larger audience. So it stands to me as my sort of proof that writing that comes from the heart will always touch the audience, regardless of how much painstaking work went into the composition.

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

I did in fact notice the date. And yes, that's exactly what I meant - it's the emotional outpouring that touched me, more than any sense of what the story was related to or where it was coming from, in terms of canon or backstory or so on.

[shatterglass.livejournal.com]

Excuse me while I save these fics and read/reread the lot.
If only each day was just a little bit longer, then I would have read all of your recs by now. All in favor of slowing the earth's orbit, say "aye".

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

also--how can you not like my beloved WotH?

*clasps knees, huddles in corner, rocks back and forth burbling incoherently*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

i have a major squick with draco raping harry, man. also, the dialogue-only thing tends to annoy me majorly and confuse me in the bargain. see, this is the reason i don't like (never liked, since i was little & it was what all the intellectual little girls did) reading plays. there was only one play i liked not -in spite- but possibly -because- it was a play-- and that's silvia's fred/george. but it as a play-- stage direction, etc. i would want woth to be a play, it'd work better. i reviewed the fic on armchair like a year ago, you know~:)

anyway, the dialogue style hurt my head 'cause it made me feel blinded (which dialogue-only doesn't -have- to do, it -can- give visual as well as auditory stage-cues, i don't see why -not-). plus... draco raping harry and harry liking it, just-like-that and then them living happily-ever-after, man. i mean, really. *laughs* her other fics are a lot darker so i'm kinda -unhappy- at the end, but at least it felt like it kept the integrity of the premise that way.
i get squicked by abusive!draco in any way, shape or form. abusive!harry... maybe. abusive!draco? is a million times worse than top!draco, and top!draco annoys me too. i mean, in woth he wasn't -abusing- so much as -manhandling-, but i mean... it was noncon and that was before i decided dark!harry taking draco against a corridor wall was hot.
mind you, i didn't find sara's `control' hot either, -nor- believable -within the fic- even though i could see it with more background.

thing is, woth didn't have background any more than `control' did. it was just, "woo, blackmail"... which is why i can't stand most blackmail fics either... but can tolerate them, maybe. it's just that woth was also noncon -and- dialogue-only. -and- it had "okay, fuck me now"!harry. grrrrr.
even so, i enjoyed it, sort of. especially parts 2 & 3. it's weird. it's like i'm against it on principle, and the dialogue-only hurts my head~:)

why do -you- love it so much?

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

why do -you- love it so much?

this question deserves its own livejournal post, which i shall write, which Shalott will never see, because to her i am but a tiny insect-like person waving my arms at her in veneration as she sits atop her Olympian cloud.

*sighs*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

heeeeee~:)
i would so totally hook you up if i could :))

*is tiny insect-like person looking up compared to too many people to count*

re: control

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

Just a quick question--do you mean Sara's "BDSM: A Love Story" instead of "Control?" BDSM is the one where Draco ties Harry up; Control is the one where he just beats the shit out of him, haha.

She's currently the featured author of the month on the Armchair and I want to make sure I know which fic you're talking about before I take this discussion over there and then pester you to come join me. :D

Re: control

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hmm... control is the one where he beats him up, yes, but there's that whole "harry has no reason for beating on draco that we know of, but he's completely dominating him" and then they fuck.... so yeah, i mean control.
draco's a total "hurt me, baby" freak. and dude, i like that. in theory. if there's some emotion, some sense of -why- (which, need i remind you, woth didn't have, and neither did `control'). i dunno what's wrong with me, really. i even read lady vader's stupid porn and i was like, OMG HOTNESS. it's just that when it gets a teensy bit believable that i'm like THIS IS SO FUCKED UP. and then it's not hot anymore.

i beta'd control (not to -mention- bdsm), so sara knows what i think about it, btw ;)
muwahahahah.
anyway... i actually like fics like lady vader's a bit more because both of them are "losing control" so to speak-- i mean, okay, draco likes the pain, and harry's dark and likes giving it to him-- but it's kind of traumatizing both of them and... stuff. you know? even though `struck' really kind of sucks.

i remember the discussion about my story `linger' where harry raped draco with no explanation, and i had this thread with Dee about how it didn't work for her 'cause harry would need set-up for it to work. and i totally agreed. i wrote both `linger' and `as good as he got' on a request from sara, basically, and you can see i suck at non-con~:)

the reason i didn't have an explanation is because... well... i couldn't think of why harry would do that. i don't care -how- dark he gets, he'd need a reason to do it to -malfoy-. i can see him breaking things, beating malfoy up, setting fire to things... but rape is a different kettle of fish, and so is not-entirely-consensual sex-after-violence.
the hot thing for me is -passion-. `control' didn't really have passion-- it had a lot of well-described pain and then some not-very-emotional jerking off. which i could -see-, and it was well done, but it didn't -work- for me, because it was so obviously a kink-fic if you didn't just look at it as sad.

and sad doesn't go with hot. usually. for me~:)

Re: control

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

*bounces* CAN I REPOST THIS COMMENT ON MY LIST PLEEEEEASE SO I CAN RESPOND TO IT THERE SO WE CAN HAVE AN ACTUAL ON-TOPIC DISCUSSION FOR ONCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?

:D:D:D:D:D

*giddy with excitement*

Re: control

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

omg, as if i could deny you anything when you're this excited :))
heee :D :D