~~ redefining `waste of time'.

[reenka]

Seeing Aja's post about the fanfics she'd take to a desert island, I was immediately tempted to make my own list and "memefy" it, so to speak. It'd be so interesting to see what people's -honest- "desert island" list was, and if they had one.

Since I've read so many fics, I assumed I had one in me just waiting to be made into list form. But then I started thinking about it, and.... Oh god, it's -awful-. I couldn't think!

On the one hand, I wanted to take -all- of some authors-- all of Silvia (I could use up my whole list just saying, Silvia, Silvia, Silvia), all of Ivy (couldn't pick one! they all run together in my head!), all of Aja (and again!), all of Amalin (and again!). And Maya! Gah! I adore all her writing, but if I said `Dark Side of Light', how can I really mean I'll read it again and again? Once nearly broke my brain.

All of my favorite happy H/D WIPs don't work... I mean... I wouldn't reread them, I'm sorry. I love them, but I don't reread -anything-, especially not novels, and even moreso unfinished novels. Some of the novels I'd loved dearly while reading, and would rec and gush about, but I wouldn't take with me. Okay, not -some-, most.

And then when I was making my list, I saw to my horror that more and more of what I wanted to add wasn't H/D, which I found semi-disturbing. I can't pick out of the stuff I was/am obsessed with, but it's much easier to say, "I can't be without Penelope's Ronfic"? Would I really reread that Ronfic? I don't know! I just know that all of Penelope's writing is whole in my head, otherwise. I don't know how that -works-. Is it easier to see things you're not as emotionally invested in more clearly? Except I -am- emotionally invested. Like, it's -weird- picking Rhoddlet's Hermione/Ginny out of all her work... maybe it's because when I don't really -read- a pairing, the first memorable fic I read in it seems more perfect, being alone? I don't know.

As much as I love lists, it seems I think of some writers in terms of the gestalt of their work, rather than any particular one. Sort of like I can't pick any particular arc out of the Sandman, or something. And then, some things I love -so much-, but I don't know if I can come back to. Maybe something basic in the way I respond to what I see as brilliant writing doesn't lend itself to lists...? I always had "favorite authors" much more than favorite books. Probably my favorite fantasy author, Patricia McKillip-- I would say that it's her -writing- itself that endears a lot of her novels to me, rather than any individuality of plot, to a large degree. I would pick `The Forgotten Beasts of Eld' if I -had- to, but that's because it was the first I fell for and the most "stand-alone hit" one, really.

It's like, my love grows and feeds on every fic by that writer, using the previous fics to add to my appreciation of the new one, like it's all part of the same... I don't know... flow. I think with Silvia and Amalin's work, you definitely need to read it all in order to fully appreciate any one of them. I'm tempted to say the same about Ivy, too. There's a certain arc, a development of the characterization and style. I don't know, for some reason it's rather important to me.


1. Silvia's `And I Get By' - because this is what friendship could be.
2. Audrey's `Brief Interval Before the Resumption of Play' - because this is what desire is.
3. Ailei & Khirsah's `Drawing Down the Moon' [chapter 5]- because I want love to be like that.
4. Ivy & Lib's `In Dialogia' - because this is a thing of beauty.
5. Amalin's `Ice' - because this is what I'd wished she would write, and she did, somehow.
6. Aja's `Every Second' - because it breaks me, every time.
7. Miss Breed's `Contrition' - because every story should be so honest and understated and real.
8. Trin's lord-of-the-flies!Draco ficlet - because it feels like dreaming and awake, even -thinking- of it (and I do-- go figure).
9. Serious Black's `6 Ways of Unpinning a Butterfly' - because it feels like a piece of me I found, wild in the wind.
10. Bec's `H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' - because I don't know what it is, but it mesmerizes me on a purely visual level, and it has so much -drive-.

A part of me wanted to say `Irresistible Poison', simply because I'm just deeply sentimental and I keep picking at it like a scab, sometimes. In a way, fittingly, I have a love/hate relationship with it-- it's like everything I love & hate about H/D fics. I kept thinking of things and saying "no... no... no" to myself. So many things touched me once, but their power lies in memory rather than reality all the time. So many things I'm just not certain if I want to come back to again, even though I love them. I don't know why that is. think lists are evil, btw.

Comments

[nefeleo.livejournal.com]

I've been so far away from fic these days, and it's been relaxing and comfortable and I was beginning to like having my thoughts to myself, and here you go with your exquisite taste, reccing these fics for me to reread. Damn, it's all back in my head now, and I missed it so much. Thank you. :)

I would have to take two lists worth of fic with me- and really, they're almost seperate beasts to my mind: the epics with spectacular emotional rollercoaster writing, and oneshots with utter poignancy and satisfaction on every level.

Ah hell. I totally understand the gestalt appreciation, and more than fic, I would rather just take the AUTHORS to the desert island with me. We could all tell eachother stories. And drink rum. :)

[kerri]

6. Aja's `Every Second' - because it breaks me, every time.

This fic makes me cry *every* time I read it. Every single time. But it's a good way, and I adore it. It's the only one that can do that to me, really - except the end of Beautiful World, which gets me as soon as I read the last line.

*goes to read the others on the list that she hasn't read*

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

Eheheheheh. I think this may be the line where meta and emotia divide. (did I just make up a word to classify myself? why - yes. I must be very clever.)
because most of those fics, weeeell, I liked them and they made my brain molecules move (dance for me, slave brain) and pleased me and were really worthwhile and made me respect the authors... in the visceral sense, did nothing for me. 'Heh - cool - moving on.'
and a couple I Really Dislike. They are now like, the Friend's Slimy Boyfriend of fics. 'No, really, *ugh*, what does she see in *him*?'
The only one I'd agree with would be 'And I Get By' but I'd *really* agree with that. (I have found a link back to you, dear heart!) Yes -and *yes.* Tattoo on body to take to island. I don't even know why, but my perfect faith in you, unmarred by all this fic opinion divide, tells me that you will know how to say why for both of us, when the Fic Day of Judgement comes.

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

I am completely the opposite. I very rarely like writers, just as I rarely consistently like popular musicians - I focus totally on the independent characteristics of the work in question.

But your way of thinking reminds me of what Aja was saying, about how she likes the fics that seem the 'essence' of their authors.

These discussions make me wonder about the futility of fic-reccing in general. If the fics you like most, you like for impact, or some emotional thing, then you can't guarentee they'll have the same impact on someone who does not think the same as you. On the other hand, if you try to judge objectively, you get nowhere, because brilliantly crafted fiction can leave you cold if it doesn't mean anything to you, personally; if you can't relate to it emotionally (not in the sense that you have something in common with it, but it hits you in that vulnerable place).

The only one of these fics I have read is '6 Ways of Unpinning a Butterfly'. I thought it was rather good, an interesting take on the subject, with an interesting structure and descriptive styles, but it didn't particularly hit me or move me or stay in my mind.

Is it something in *you*, the way you think, that makes you like the fics you do? And can you identify what it is? I know the way I think which I use to explain my reactions to certain books, but I've never really thought that way about fic before - I always sort of assumed that if something was well-written, I'd enjoy it. But perhaps that's not strictly true.

[shatterglass.livejournal.com]

Excuse me while I save these fics and read/reread the lot.
If only each day was just a little bit longer, then I would have read all of your recs by now. All in favor of slowing the earth's orbit, say "aye".

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

also--how can you not like my beloved WotH?

*clasps knees, huddles in corner, rocks back and forth burbling incoherently*