~~ redefining `waste of time'.
Oct. 1st, 2003 01:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaSeeing Aja's post about the fanfics she'd take to a desert island, I was immediately tempted to make my own list and "memefy" it, so to speak. It'd be so interesting to see what people's -honest- "desert island" list was, and if they had one.
Since I've read so many fics, I assumed I had one in me just waiting to be made into list form. But then I started thinking about it, and.... Oh god, it's -awful-. I couldn't think!
On the one hand, I wanted to take -all- of some authors-- all of Silvia (I could use up my whole list just saying, Silvia, Silvia, Silvia), all of Ivy (couldn't pick one! they all run together in my head!), all of Aja (and again!), all of Amalin (and again!). And Maya! Gah! I adore all her writing, but if I said `Dark Side of Light', how can I really mean I'll read it again and again? Once nearly broke my brain.
All of my favorite happy H/D WIPs don't work... I mean... I wouldn't reread them, I'm sorry. I love them, but I don't reread -anything-, especially not novels, and even moreso unfinished novels. Some of the novels I'd loved dearly while reading, and would rec and gush about, but I wouldn't take with me. Okay, not -some-, most.
And then when I was making my list, I saw to my horror that more and more of what I wanted to add wasn't H/D, which I found semi-disturbing. I can't pick out of the stuff I was/am obsessed with, but it's much easier to say, "I can't be without Penelope's Ronfic"? Would I really reread that Ronfic? I don't know! I just know that all of Penelope's writing is whole in my head, otherwise. I don't know how that -works-. Is it easier to see things you're not as emotionally invested in more clearly? Except I -am- emotionally invested. Like, it's -weird- picking Rhoddlet's Hermione/Ginny out of all her work... maybe it's because when I don't really -read- a pairing, the first memorable fic I read in it seems more perfect, being alone? I don't know.
As much as I love lists, it seems I think of some writers in terms of the gestalt of their work, rather than any particular one. Sort of like I can't pick any particular arc out of the Sandman, or something. And then, some things I love -so much-, but I don't know if I can come back to. Maybe something basic in the way I respond to what I see as brilliant writing doesn't lend itself to lists...? I always had "favorite authors" much more than favorite books. Probably my favorite fantasy author, Patricia McKillip-- I would say that it's her -writing- itself that endears a lot of her novels to me, rather than any individuality of plot, to a large degree. I would pick `The Forgotten Beasts of Eld' if I -had- to, but that's because it was the first I fell for and the most "stand-alone hit" one, really.
It's like, my love grows and feeds on every fic by that writer, using the previous fics to add to my appreciation of the new one, like it's all part of the same... I don't know... flow. I think with Silvia and Amalin's work, you definitely need to read it all in order to fully appreciate any one of them. I'm tempted to say the same about Ivy, too. There's a certain arc, a development of the characterization and style. I don't know, for some reason it's rather important to me.
1. Silvia's `And I Get By' - because this is what friendship could be.
2. Audrey's `Brief Interval Before the Resumption of Play' - because this is what desire is.
3. Ailei & Khirsah's `Drawing Down the Moon' [chapter 5]- because I want love to be like that.
4. Ivy & Lib's `In Dialogia' - because this is a thing of beauty.
5. Amalin's `Ice' - because this is what I'd wished she would write, and she did, somehow.
6. Aja's `Every Second' - because it breaks me, every time.
7. Miss Breed's `Contrition' - because every story should be so honest and understated and real.
8. Trin's lord-of-the-flies!Draco ficlet - because it feels like dreaming and awake, even -thinking- of it (and I do-- go figure).
9. Serious Black's `6 Ways of Unpinning a Butterfly' - because it feels like a piece of me I found, wild in the wind.
10. Bec's `H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' - because I don't know what it is, but it mesmerizes me on a purely visual level, and it has so much -drive-.
A part of me wanted to say `Irresistible Poison', simply because I'm just deeply sentimental and I keep picking at it like a scab, sometimes. In a way, fittingly, I have a love/hate relationship with it-- it's like everything I love & hate about H/D fics. I kept thinking of things and saying "no... no... no" to myself. So many things touched me once, but their power lies in memory rather than reality all the time. So many things I'm just not certain if I want to come back to again, even though I love them. I don't know why that is. think lists are evil, btw.
Since I've read so many fics, I assumed I had one in me just waiting to be made into list form. But then I started thinking about it, and.... Oh god, it's -awful-. I couldn't think!
On the one hand, I wanted to take -all- of some authors-- all of Silvia (I could use up my whole list just saying, Silvia, Silvia, Silvia), all of Ivy (couldn't pick one! they all run together in my head!), all of Aja (and again!), all of Amalin (and again!). And Maya! Gah! I adore all her writing, but if I said `Dark Side of Light', how can I really mean I'll read it again and again? Once nearly broke my brain.
All of my favorite happy H/D WIPs don't work... I mean... I wouldn't reread them, I'm sorry. I love them, but I don't reread -anything-, especially not novels, and even moreso unfinished novels. Some of the novels I'd loved dearly while reading, and would rec and gush about, but I wouldn't take with me. Okay, not -some-, most.
And then when I was making my list, I saw to my horror that more and more of what I wanted to add wasn't H/D, which I found semi-disturbing. I can't pick out of the stuff I was/am obsessed with, but it's much easier to say, "I can't be without Penelope's Ronfic"? Would I really reread that Ronfic? I don't know! I just know that all of Penelope's writing is whole in my head, otherwise. I don't know how that -works-. Is it easier to see things you're not as emotionally invested in more clearly? Except I -am- emotionally invested. Like, it's -weird- picking Rhoddlet's Hermione/Ginny out of all her work... maybe it's because when I don't really -read- a pairing, the first memorable fic I read in it seems more perfect, being alone? I don't know.
As much as I love lists, it seems I think of some writers in terms of the gestalt of their work, rather than any particular one. Sort of like I can't pick any particular arc out of the Sandman, or something. And then, some things I love -so much-, but I don't know if I can come back to. Maybe something basic in the way I respond to what I see as brilliant writing doesn't lend itself to lists...? I always had "favorite authors" much more than favorite books. Probably my favorite fantasy author, Patricia McKillip-- I would say that it's her -writing- itself that endears a lot of her novels to me, rather than any individuality of plot, to a large degree. I would pick `The Forgotten Beasts of Eld' if I -had- to, but that's because it was the first I fell for and the most "stand-alone hit" one, really.
It's like, my love grows and feeds on every fic by that writer, using the previous fics to add to my appreciation of the new one, like it's all part of the same... I don't know... flow. I think with Silvia and Amalin's work, you definitely need to read it all in order to fully appreciate any one of them. I'm tempted to say the same about Ivy, too. There's a certain arc, a development of the characterization and style. I don't know, for some reason it's rather important to me.
1. Silvia's `And I Get By' - because this is what friendship could be.
2. Audrey's `Brief Interval Before the Resumption of Play' - because this is what desire is.
3. Ailei & Khirsah's `Drawing Down the Moon' [chapter 5]- because I want love to be like that.
4. Ivy & Lib's `In Dialogia' - because this is a thing of beauty.
5. Amalin's `Ice' - because this is what I'd wished she would write, and she did, somehow.
6. Aja's `Every Second' - because it breaks me, every time.
7. Miss Breed's `Contrition' - because every story should be so honest and understated and real.
8. Trin's lord-of-the-flies!Draco ficlet - because it feels like dreaming and awake, even -thinking- of it (and I do-- go figure).
9. Serious Black's `6 Ways of Unpinning a Butterfly' - because it feels like a piece of me I found, wild in the wind.
10. Bec's `H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' - because I don't know what it is, but it mesmerizes me on a purely visual level, and it has so much -drive-.
A part of me wanted to say `Irresistible Poison', simply because I'm just deeply sentimental and I keep picking at it like a scab, sometimes. In a way, fittingly, I have a love/hate relationship with it-- it's like everything I love & hate about H/D fics. I kept thinking of things and saying "no... no... no" to myself. So many things touched me once, but their power lies in memory rather than reality all the time. So many things I'm just not certain if I want to come back to again, even though I love them. I don't know why that is. think lists are evil, btw.
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-01 02:55 pm (UTC)tell, tell!! *puppy eyes*
snark! pain! bloodletting!! >:D<
this listing process is really unnatural for me. i don't even know -why- picked these except i was thinking, "have to pick one by silvia, have to pick one by aja, have to pick one by ivy and amalin and rach... and oh yah, i can't pick just one by maya, WOE... oh yah, dude, i love poetry, so in it goes.... oh yah, have to pick one by trin... tricky..... and yah, my s/r fic-of-doom....this leaves the cho-fic, which i can never forget for its perfectly-cho-ness.... and er... yah.
even weirder is that some of these i included because i -used- to have an emotional visceral reaction at one point, and haven't re-read them in ages, so i dunno if i do anymore.
but i like nef's idea. i'll just kidnap you & aja & ivy (oh god, i hope the island doesn't implode -.-) & erin & cassie & amalin & (getting greedy now) cassie claire & penelope &....... hee.
i really wanna know who the slimy boyfriend is, man. *giggles* i'd have thought these were innocuous. except for `every second', maybe, 'cause it doesn't exactly represent aja's writing, necessarily. and i'd include things like `artful facade' and ip but everyone would laugh at me. it's so much easier like with bec's fic, where it's so pretty and -short- and i can just look at it and go, óooooh, prettyyyyy.
like, what i'm saying is, the pretty stays with me constantly, whereas the visceral punch of a fic varies depending on my mood or receptivity at that moment... it's like porn, you know? the first time i read a smut-scene i'm all "w00t!!1" but the second and third time i already know what's coming and it deadens me, so it's the writing that has to carry it. or something...?
hee.
i am completely flippant.
except for my love-of-gestalt, which is unwavering and true. i want to have it all, in other words~:)
on the Fic Day of Judgement, i will be cowering and clutching my hoard of maya-and-aja-and-ivy-and-silvia fics in my sekrit basement in case someone comes to take them away : D:D
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 05:08 pm (UTC)HAHAHAHAHAHA.
No, Ivy and I will just glare at one another sullenly until the day our sublimated passion spills over and we proceed to find a deserted island hallway to fight/snog in.
< Disclaimer> THAT WAS A JOKE. </ disclaimer >
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 05:14 pm (UTC)in the event of said kidnapping, i will be sure to remember the popcorn :D :D
*cracks up*
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 05:29 pm (UTC)OMG I AM SO DEAD RIGHT NOW!!1
i will never get that image entirely out of my head, you realize. and to think (oh god) i've seen you both in real life.
*wails*
also.
weapons fetish?!?
*flails*
WHY ARE YOU NOT BETTERING THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR-CHOICE-OF-WEAPON!H/D smut!?!??
*weeble!*
*holds rest of gunsmut for ransom* :D :D
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 05:54 pm (UTC)Dude, I told cassie well over a year ago that i would write H/D sword slash from Draco Sinister, but then I read Quicksilver and, pbbt, you can't improve on perfection so why try? :)
But ever since I saw Johnny Depp's pistol fellatio scene in Before Night Falls I have been quietly growing more needy for the weapons smut. very, very needy.
*whimpers, weebles pitifully*
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 06:12 pm (UTC)it's now all prison!h/d and death-eater!draco and post-hogwarts and er... plot :-?
how'd -that- happen? ^^;
called it 'works of mercy'. heheh. used to be called "loaded". *laughs*
also, there can -never be enough- sword!smut. NEVER. heee.
you understand, right? i mean... you don't -improve- on perfection, you simply.... perv onwards :D :D
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 05:10 pm (UTC)Explain?
no subject
Date: 2003-10-02 05:47 pm (UTC)well, that's -good- poetry.
Some people. They say we're together. I don't believe it myself, but say we're taking this as a
given:
H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)
find:
what it would be like.
oh-oh-oh.
it's like magic, you know? in my mind, draco (or The Reader, ehhehe) is standing next to a mic, maybe, in front of an audience, in the dark. his voice is smooth and sure, and he's basically saying all this provocative, dirty stuff, his voice distant and passionate at the same time, removed and right there, mocking and needling and oh-so-serious. i dunno. it reminds me of lib's draco in `in dialogia', who's all cold and cutting and incandescent.
Seventh year 17-year-olds, NC-us.
Let's be original, do it in
midair the library the lake a dormitory:
be quiet, will you?
shit, what do I need to do, gag you?
and then there's the bits of dialogue still rhythmical almost like some sort of verbal -fucking-, even, the rhythm inexorable, it hypnoticizes me. the -brashness- (Nc-us), the boyness. i just feel it there, somehow. maybe that's not really draco at all, just some melodramatic poet-boy with an out-of-control libido, but i like him like that, man. can't help, am a slut for poetry and the rhythm, man, the -rhythm-.
H/D = Harry divided by Draco.
Cleaved in twain, if you will. Pierced up the center.
You were looking for porn? Let's give it a try. Divide him:
Turn over fuck that's right c'mon open up spread for me let me see yeah good okay hold still hold still I said mm god you like that tell me how it feels how you like it yes you can talk dammit just open your mouth and don't censor anything.
i love that. harry divided by draco. i can almost hear the sneer in that voice, the -intensity-. Divide him. i dunno, the metaphor of division and equations and proofs and rates... it's rather meta, actually. i think the whole thing is very meta, but it's got this sexy rhythm to it, if you're into that sort of thing~:)
as far as trin...
her stuff's just mad, but i love mad. it's a kink~:))
i also like her chiahuahua!draco and lord-of-the-flies!draco and albino-spider!draco more than ice-o!draco, though that was probably the first fic of hers i'd read. insanity, man. it's what's for breakfast :>
again, my personal positive bias, i dunno if anyone else digs it for that reason. surrealism is probably my most favored type of story after magical realism~:)
and i think trin's the best surrealist writing h/d in the fandom~:)