[the yuppies are coming! the yuppies are coming! :P heh]

[reenka]

While I'll get to writing about some of the things suggested (hee! there's much to say about sushi... mmm), I just wanted to say that having seen several [professional] comic & book writers reply to lj-comments about their work, it keeps on inspiring this deep sense of wrongness in me, like I'm seeing something that should not happen. Like... it's -wrong-. Brrrr-kinda wrong. I dunno, most things don't strike me that way-- I mean, usually something seems crazy or illogical or annoying, but generally not -wrong-, like it shouldn't happen like that. But yeah.


I think it's something about the power-differential. Like, there's already so much wank in fandom-- when we're all supposedly equal: the fan-readers and the fan-writers, like the yin-yang of fannishness. Even then, when a writer acquires 'Big Name' power in some cases, you can just see people shutting up, and sometimes the writer getting an entitlement complex like 'how DARE you lowly creature'... but the fandom tends to observe its own boundaries, more or less. It's one system.
    Now, when you have creators from 'on high' [even newbie professionals] talking/interacting with us little-fish fans outside a structured QnA session like JKR's interviews, the entitlement and fen deference gets totally out of proportion. It just makes me wince to watch. I mean, in an independent magazine, a reviewer gets away with pretty much anything because it's their 'professional right', but on lj... it's ego vs. ego, except one ego has 'official validation', the weight of being published to back them up. And if they don't have a sense of humor about themselves [and you betcha their fans won't], it's just like an avalanche. The prospects for balanced discussion are virtually nil.

Partly, of course, I tend to feel uncomfortable sharing immediate blogspace with public figures (well, professional writers/artists) I know of [let alone fangirl] in general; especially since lj is a communal space rather than 'just a blog'. On their website is one thing-- but on lj, where they promote themselves and talk about their work & get fangirled? That is extremely uncomfortable to watch. Reading their lj at all makes me feel like I've crossed the line from fangirl to groupie; because while you can all be 'fellow fangirls', creators and readers merging into one group (which is what's so great!), you cannot have any basis for unity or a common language as long as you -are- 'a groupie'. And I'm not saying that there's no place on lj for whatever group, because there's a place for anybody & everybody on lj; the point is that lots of professional creators are increasingly interacting/using fandom without the first clue of what the normal dynamic-- it's quite a bit like being colonized... or gentrified... or something.
    It's like... not joining a community but using a community [for promotion & attention alone]; it's like a middle schooler coming to sit on a kindergarten playground & selling cookies. I mean, the kiddies love the cookies, but the weirdness of that big person sitting in your sandbox is still quite disconcerting and even disturbing, it seems to me.

PS: Oh, and there's the weirdness of knowing the foibles/personality quirks of person behind the story, too, which isn't there in fandom but seems to confuse 'normal' types of reading. It's like, I don't want to wonder if such-and-such is why such-a-character acted like so-and-so or whatever. Just reading interviews or even biographies isn't the same as seeing everyday interactions in terms of... giving an immediate [too immediate] impression. Like... I don't think I'll be able to read Peg Kerr's books [which are normally just up my alley] until I've totally half-forgotten my impressions of her on lj. Even though they were pretty much neutral impressions. I just feel like... I know too much, and also the heavy pushing by fellow fangirls [peer-pressure] seriously turns me off. This is just me, though.
~~

    If you comment on this post:
    [meme brought to you by ishuca & the Letter C]
1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.
~~

...Okay, now I can start packing to move to bloody Seattle *___*

Comments

[loftily.livejournal.com]

Why are you moving to Seattle? Did I miss something?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hahah no, though I might have told you? At one point? Haha -.-;;;;
There's no great 'why' except I've quit school [again] & there's a) an indie comics scene there; b) I hear it's nice; c) I wanted to try finishing school at Evergreen in a year; d) umm... I know a few people there. Mostly just sort of 'okay! going to Evergreen! Yeah...' randomness. When I was in England it all seemed to make sense :>

Well, I'll do it anyway even though you didn't say anything:
1) You're one of those people whose outside definitely reflects their inside. That sounds a bit weird, but there you go [I mean from your pictures].
2) I think you should try writing more! Like, for instance, if you write skaterboy slash from that gymnastics movie, I wouldn't be against it ;))
3) Hm! Probably silver, but a light-blue sort of silver, like the underside of early spring flowers.
4) The fact that you are probably the sincerest person I've ever met without ever even beginning to slide into over-sweetness or coyness or well-meaning fakeness in the way that people who're concerned/kind to other people get. There is no one else I've met or known of whom I'd use the word 'pure' to describe, but not in an innocent/sweet/nice sort of way. More in a 'pure as a mountain stream' sort of way.
5. My first memory is reading the fic with Harry&Draco on the beach, which I then shamelessly copied, ahahah. It was July! Or late June of '02 (FOUR YEARS AGO AHAHAHA). ^^; All those adjectives! I was in hog-heaven, rolling about in your words. I think there were sunsets involved :D I like sunsets, though. =;
6. A swallow, possibly a hummingbird. Probably a swallow! Just like in Andersen. I think you both pirch very high & fly very far to the south for winter. You'd also be a bird who liked flowers & being near people, but not too near.
7. I don't know if there is something I've -always- wanted to ask! What do you see when you think of a dream-space, a perfect place you'd want to retreat to be alone in?

[ishuca.livejournal.com]

bada bing!

and, i think that i simply wouldn't attempt discourse before reading their behavior/interactions with lowly peons such as ourselves, because one never knows when another Anne Rice will swoop down and wank with extreme prejudice.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...Such peons as... 'ourselves'...?? Y'mean, if/when you're published? :))


1) I think you had uber-cute icons before everyone and their brother had cute icons. I don't know why I think that, but I do. You were a cute-icon-theme pioneer. *nodnod*
2) You know, you are the sort of person who's probably tried most things I'd think to try-- probably twice. Um. I think YOU should write dirty porn-- any pairing, but fanfic of some sort, could be any fandom-- het or slash or femslash, but DIRTY PORN. And then I would feel much more motivated also :D Hah.
3) Definitely dark purplish-red! Like an orchid.
4) I like many things about you! It's hard to pick one -.- But okay. I think you are one of the few people I consider really balanced-- not like in an 'omg, the psych health poster-child' sort of way [which would be somewhat disturbing], but in a really awesome way. Like, both yin & yang, and doing what you want to do & not taking bullshit & just being yourself to the fullest, taking on whatever comes with a constant forward momentum, especially the last few years [since you went to Japan]. Most people are either jokey&snarky&straightforward or all considerate&sensitive&understanding&darkly-emo, but you totally do both without making it seem at all contradictory.
5) I don't have a first, exactly, 'cause that summer's a fog in my mind. Clearest is probably sitting by the Japanese table and you seriously trying to convince me that your rodent is evil :D :D Very seriously. Oh, and talking about Bryn Mawr... but that was before the rodent saga.
6) I think something about you reminds me of your... I mean, hmm, probably a cat. Like, a black well-groomed slinky cat. Yesh. With claws, definitely.
7) I don't know! This is a hard question to... um, question. Um. What is your favorite type of character/archetype? [okay, that was random, but it's something!]

[ishuca.livejournal.com]

er, i meant currently. if i become published and famous you will not be a peon to me. obviously. ;_;

1. it is the bears! oh yes, they have left their mark (if only on your psyche).
2. sure! but you have to write yours first, because i asked you first! :P
3. oh, that's nice!
4. you are so bad for me. too much of this, and i'll start calling myself mary poppins!
5. my rodent IS evil. >_>
6. *growls* do not even think of going there! hmm, well, i like the claws bit. *sharpens claws*
7. um, to write, or read or crush on, or what? be more specific!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I am usually all shy & awkward and procrastinatory about giving people any sort of compliment! So thankfully you don't have to worry about too many from me :)) ...usually :> My throat tends to close up [especially in person] & I cannot say a nice thing to save my life. Come to think of it, I sound like your typical HS dorkhead nerd guy :)) Well, I -am- kind of like that ^^;;;; Except [possibly] more female :>

you are not the only one who's evil, in her way. *coughs* although i am a mere padawan...
To read! Or to crush on! You can have an a) & b) section :))

[ishuca.livejournal.com]

to read: um, morally ambiguous characters that can take black-and-white people around them down several pegs simply by existing. snarkiness adds bonus points.

to crush on: er, evil characters. smart, potentially conflicted, power-hungry evil characters. without fail. bonus points for godlike power.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, I like the first a lot. Those are yummmy... and I tend to then ship them with the b&w characters, ahahaha because HELLO CONFLICT. Yesh. Snarkiness -always- adds bonus points. To the point where I was seriously wondering recently whether a person with a really good sense of humor could be [evilly] sadistic :> :> I mean, they could be MEAN and RUTHLESS, but sadistic? Oh sigh, me & my naive self.

...'Power-hungry' makes me mad at people, good, evil or neutral-- unless they're seriously SERIOUSLY intelligent+conflicted+interesting. I generally give people -50 points in intelligence/appeal for being power-hungry, so they'd better be really up there in other points if they're gonna be sexy to me :))
Oh! But it just occurred to me that two manga characters I find super-uber sexy [Red King from Basara & Shion from PSME] are quite power-hungry. I think in that case, I find them so interesting, the extreme issue I have with their need for control becomes part of the appeal, to the point where my greatest attraction and repelling point in people is probably the need for control~:)) Which I want to utterly DESTROY, but...

[withoutwords.livejournal.com]

Good luck with your trip!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...I... thanks..., um, wait... I know you, right? *facepalm* I have the weirdest almost-connected-but-not-quite sort of feeling :> From irc? Like ages ago? Mer?

[withoutwords.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I was wondering if you'd remember me.

Yeah, you know me from IRC, in #poetry. The nick was either Dainara or Raven_Darkheart (I used both over the years). I was friends with cuttopieces/burn/Malakai or whatever else he went by. Umm...I knew Ariel? Yeah, I dunno.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I remember, it's just been... a really long time, ahaha. Now Ariel, I don't remember -.- I think besides you, I only talked to *coughs*caporale*coughs* must not speak the devil's name!! and Andrew [whose nick I totally don't remember] :))

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean...let's face it, the net can be a scary thing. And a lot of writers probably go into it expecting it to be a great experience with their fans and it's not going to be. Because on the one hand it's annoying if everyone is treating the person as if they're special as a person, but otoh it's annoying if they don't see any boundry between themselves and the author. A professional blog is probably it's own thing, I guess, where it's just another form of writing. But still it's very weird to have an internet persona to go along with the writer persona, which might be very different.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't think of it from the author's pov! :) But yeah, it would be annoying to be bugged & stuff [like, this happened to BNFs in fandom, too]... that's the entitlement thing, and people with a different concept of boundaries and such (which always seriously SERIOUSLY freaks me out, but then I'm probably more sensitive than a lot of people, too). I think the best fan/author experience is probably Neil's blog with its comments, but then Neil has like NO pretentiousness & a great sense of humor to boot [and his fans are speshul too... *coughs*]. It's somehow more annoying when it's a newbie professional who goes around promoting themselves and talking to people about their own work :/ :/ That's just wanky right there :/

Anyway! I'm not sure if you want me to, but here you go, ahahah:
1) I don't think most people appreciate just how cute your icons are, ahahah. I mean, you generally say serious meta things, but your icons are kinda... always going 'wink wink' at me 'cause they're just ironic/cute. Or ironically cute. Or something [and most people probably don't perceive your cute side... I'm guessing]. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
2) I was going to say 'write a rabid rant about something you really hate about fandom & be all subjective' but I know you already do that :)) I challeng you to write fanfic meta!! :D :D :D Even if you lock it, if you did one of those recs+anti-rec things & explained what you liked & what you didn't, that'd be HILARIOUS [for me] :))
3) Dark blue and grey, but I suspect I'm brainwashed by your lj colors! I think blue really does fit, though. AHAHAH RAVENCLAW COLORS >:D
4) I'm trying to go for something I like about you besides the obvious, haha [which is like... how you always explain things good! yesh! and I'm like 'oh good, I don't have to think anymore' but then I do anyway]. I really admire how you could talk to anybody and explain what you mean to them without getting them pissed at you-- sort of like taming wild beasts. Like, being understood by -me- is easy [considering how often we're coming from similar places mentally], but you manage to straddle that line between objective and subjective like you were born to it. I can see the seams, but I'm probably more perceptive than most people ;> I feel like even when you're rambling, your mind is so clear-- or far-sighted-- objects seen through Magpie!lens have a higher definition/clarity than usual; so by communicating your perception you always heighten at least a little rather than subtract from reality. That is so awesome~:)
5) You were on Aja's lj talking to her & Maya and then they gave you an lj code as I watched, ahaha. You were doing H/D meta! I thought, 'hmmmm' but was a little jealous because they were seriously all over you :)) And then for a little while [before you became like, the HP meta guru] I got you all too myself & we just agreed on everything & commented on like, every post for awhile :)) *cackles*
6) Can it even be anything but a magpie? I've been brainwashed! Well. I'll just go with raven to be contrary :>
7) Okay, honestly, how often do the stupid comments on your posts [I don't mean offensive/wanky/trollish/etc, I mean just "...okay, this is just...*headdesk*"] get to you?? hahaha

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

1-Thank you! I think my icons are damn adorable!

2-I am honestly thinking about it now that I've been challenged. I might have been doing it right now if I hadn't just eaten far too much ice cream and now I'm just feeling nauseous!

4-I sound so awesome when you describe me!

7-LOL! Probably less often than you'd think. Sometimes something can be really crazy but it doesn't bother me at all. Then I'll run up to one comment and just be like--gah! Go away! I don't want to talk to you! But of course I have to talk anyway, which often leads to more comments.

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

Where? Where are these blogs? I've only seen Georgie Martin's, which is made of boring and also has disabled comments.

Do me, for the meme, lol. :D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, I didn't mean the uber-famous authors, I meant more like the newbie professionals that are sprouting up at the edges of fandom (and you'd have to kind of be at the right place at the right time to come across them). I just came across this comics artist, kenix in scans_daily & that inspired me...

1) I was just thinking earlier today [after reading the end of that Oishi/Eiji doujin posted at yaoi_daily] that I'd totally read your PoT fic happily if you wrote any pairings I could even -recognize- [since I only know about it from doujins, AHAHAHAHA *coughs*] I dunno if that's "about you", but still.
2) I think you should try writing Oishi/Eiji!! Oh, that was simple. :>
3) Hmm. Yellowy orangish, in a metallic shiny way, not in a street-sign way.
4) You somehow manage to be bitterly cynical and exuberantly sparkly all mixed up at once [rather than in clearly divided cycles or whatever]. It's impressive! :D :D I think I never quite feel comfortable with people unless we can connect both seriously and dorkily. It's like... not only do you write bittersweet things, you just... are bittersweet. If that makes sense. It's probably more entertaining on the outside than the inside ^^;; <3.
5) Heheh, I do remember you being all exuberant about An Unlikely Pair. I was all blushy and "...." but I really felt validated by your comment in particular, like I did something right in spite of myself or something. Usually I just think people are a bit on crack if they compliment me too much ^^;;
6) This is hard. :O ...Um. A light brown pony. One of those with a curly mane that looks all sweet until she kicks you off and snorts.
7) I don't know if there is anything for anyone so far [and if there is, there's usually a reason I haven't asked!!]. This question is seriously not my favorite. :O! Have you ever thought of challenging yourself to write a type of story that doesn't come naturally? Like, either really REALLY dark/angsty or just action/adventure or something?

[scoradh.livejournal.com]

That is awesomely spot on! The yellow, and the bolshy pony, and the bittersweet. Ha, you got a good read on me for sure. Especially the bittersweet bit; I'm not happy enough to be sweet or cynical enough to be bitter, but enough to be both. :D

But I have written Golden Pair! Here. (http://scoradh.livejournal.com/90384.html) I've also written some of another story, which is ever so slightly better. (That one is quite ... naif, or something?) If you want I can post that up later. ♥ Didn't you say you'd read Inuikai too? (Guy with glasses and spiky hair/bandana dude). I could try them ...

7) Actually no, not really. They don't really interest me, you see. I can't seem to help myself when it comes to happy endings, either. [facepalm] Still, I have an idea that I'll run some kind of drabble request coming up to Christmastide ... if you want you could request something like that! Not sure how well I'd do at it, mind.

[wychwood]

There are also some people who were on LJ *before* they were published and had fandoms develop. More and more people are crossing the divide in that direction too, and there's another set of problems there...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I know that there are people like that-- I know several of them. Of course, consciously feeding/using lj to communicate and broaden one's fanbase is a conscious choice, not simply a consequence of being on lj :)

[truwest.livejournal.com]

Hi, here via metafandom.

I dunno, I have somewhat of a different reaction to author blogs (not that I bother to read many of them much).

Yeah, I totally agree that when an author/actor/pro-creator-type sets up a website or a blog just as an extension of their fanclub, or only uses it to pimp their stuff -- I'm not very interested in that. I hate feeling like a groupie too, and I'll run a mile to get away from that BS. And I'm not interested in anybody in any context who thinks they're All That and who treats other people like ignorant minions, or who barges into a group without a clue as to proper behavior and makes an ass of themselves.

And I also totally agree that a work of art (story or whatever) should stand on its own, and sometimes knowing about the creator's personal life kind of sullies one's enjoyment of their work, is distracting, etc.

That said -- I don't have any issues with professional-creatives who want to get an LJ/blog and really talk with people about their work, or about the writing process, or their genre in general, or whatever.

Yeah, if they're famous or rich or something, there's a power differential, but handling that requires people on both sides to behave well (ie, no god complex from the creative, and no groveling from the fan types). But there's nothing inherently wrong with that. A cat can look at a king, and I can give my (polite) opinion to the friggin' Queen of England if she's got a blog and is inviting comments, and I'm thus inclined to say anything.

So I don't see why it's not possible to have a real dialogue with interested and well-behaved pro creators. I understand why some of the pro types would be interested in talking with other people about the stuff they love best, and be interested in hearing other opinions -- esp from "amateur" people who love the stuff, rather than other professionals who may have their own axes to grind.

Certainly there are other places in society where people mingle across pro-and-amateur lines, rich-and-not-rich lines, published-and-not-published, etc, and it works just fine. My husband loves photography and hangs out with some groups that have both pro and amateur photogs. There are plenty of people in other professions than writing -- business, arts, design, intellectual property are a few that I know about personally -- where some pros have blogs and chat with like-minded people about their area of interest, and it's a genuine discussion and not just pimping and entouraging.

I guess I don't believe there's some uncrossable dividing line between "those pro people who do this stuff for a living" and "the rest of us." Yeah, some pros are self-promoting jerks, but some people anywhere are self-promoting jerks. And some fans are crazy, but some people anywhere are crazy. Still seems like there's room for some people to have a good discussion.

Oh well, just my two cents...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

That said -- I don't have any issues with professional-creatives who want to get an LJ/blog and really talk with people about their work, or about the writing process, or their genre in general, or whatever.

Oh yeah... I'm actually chagrined now 'cause I kind of... forgot normal reasonable people like that exist, haha. Silly of me. I've had one too many encounters with the other variety, and it's really put me off. I do remember [vaguely] seeing other authors who seemed on the level, down-to-earth, etc, awhile ago-- the difference is actually that in that case I sought out their lj, whereas in these recent case I was hanging out in -my- joints on ljland & -they- came to -us-.

That's the big difference, really; why I made the post. It's not like I go looking for whackos and then get upset; it's more like they go looking for -us-, and the ones that go looking are the ones more likely to be all about self-promotion/self-obsession/power-trips, y'know? The quiet reasonable ones are probably unlikely to draw attention to them being published, so it's possible I wouldn't even know if I talked to one! Of course the likelihood of me even knowing the person is published/etc is way increased if they're self-promoting & acting like an arse, come to think of it.

So I definitely didn't mean there isn't always room for discussion, and neither did I mean to imply that a power-differential kills all prospect for dialogue 'cause I'm so painfully power-conscious somehow; I'm not. It's when someone else is uber-conscious of their so-called status that I can't seem to feel comfortable with their presence; granted, people in fandom do that too, but it's a lot easier to snort or laugh it off or whatever in fandom, 'cause they're not constantly referring to 'the facts' and their supposed 'back-up' of being Published Authors or whatever.

There's definitely no uncrossable dividing line, and as long as everyone agrees on that, discussion is possible. However, people with such a civilized pov are likely to sit quietly in their corner and not give me [as a rather fannishly self-contained person] as many opportunities for discussion, ironically.

[truwest.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I totally relate that it's weird when somebody seeks you out in your own space and then tries to pimp something.

Kind of like when you answer the doorbell and there's some religious type there. Um, no, I'm really not interested in your religion. I'm at home minding my own business, and you're the one bugging me, so go away.

For some reason, this whole discussion kinda reminds me of some of those grass-roots advertising programs where a company pays ordinary people to mention their product in everyday conversations on the sly with their friends. Boy that so turns me off...the second I find out that a friend of mine was on the take using my time for their shilling some product, I will dump their ass so fast.

I guess it reminds me because it's that whole trust and relationship thing that you alluded to in your post. It's weird and rude when somebody shows up in your personal life space and blatantly pimps for something. Like getting spam shoved in your face. I don't like it in my email and I don't like it on LJ or in person.

anything thanks for an interesting discussion and for letting me blather all over your LJ!

[discordiana.livejournal.com]

Comments!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hehe so insiduous :))
Um. Okey. :P FOR REAL THIS TIME, BECAUSE I KEEP MISSPELLING SOMETHING :((
1) I have this weird desire to see you with long blond hair ever since you told me you used to be blond. Somehow blond!Ste doesn't compute, which makes me interested~:))
2) I challenge you to write stuff all the time, so... um. Not writing related... um... to post every day for a week. Something cute [like pic-spam]! And also public! Muwahaha.
3) It's weird, you're not just one color in my head-- you're like a shade (dark). If it was any color-- red, blue, green-- it'd be a dark heavy shade of it, a sort of... striking darkness, like a bruise.
4) I like how you're so fastidiously honest with yourself, like... you don't give either yourself or others any quarter, but not in that more common sort of relentless rationality but rather a sort of relentless watchfulness. You... catch things, don't let them go [even if you act like you do]; basically I do respect your responses because I think you understand. (I'm actually constantly surprised by how we have divergent responses while perceiving things pretty similarly-- it's something that keeps me on my toes & I like that.) I read a description of types as bees here (http://infp.globalchatter.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?p=33071#33071) (yes, I know I'm obsessive, but it made me go 'awww, INFJs', ahaha).
5) I think you replied pretty flippantly to one of my spring pr0n fics, something about liking Draco to be flustered or something, and I was like 'who is this person??' because usually I get more... normal feedback like 'I like it' or something. You definitely stood out :))
6) A pure-white green-eyed cat; definitely a wild one, though.
7) I DON'T KNOW, I HATE THIS QUESTION :O! Um. Right. Who did you want to be when you were little?

[discordiana.livejournal.com]

Oh, hey! Are you moving to Seattle? I didn't know!

1) I'll dig up a picture. I'm very aloof and intellectual-looking with blond hair. Mostly because I always always had a cigarette in pictures back then and somehow looked like I smelled something bad... around everybody.
2) I did post, however I'm not ready for the big jump of posting public. I'm also being ANGRY again. When I will ever enlighten myself.
3) I remember when you said I was bile-flavoured. So I am Dark Bile now. I could call my feminist blog that.
4) I like the bees system. Look at me being the martyr who fights for justice. Though I have to say it weirded me when the guy said INFJ are held back by conventions. Aren't we the ones who're always paranoid about oppression?
5) I do like him flustered. And pink. Just a little sweaty...
6) A white cat sounds so classy and above-it-all.
7) A career woman, any type.