~~ martyr!Remus, grr, argh.
Nov. 15th, 2004 01:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaI've only been reading S/R fic intensely for less than a week, and I already have a #1 pet peeve, ahahah. It's not at the must-strangle-someone stage yet by far, but it's... present.
What weirds me out is that there's this trend where fics keep making it that Remus is with Sirius as some sort of favor, because really, Remus knows better and Sirius is such a bastard (...and someone has to mention that at least once-- often Sirius himself). It's like, I wonder why Remus is friends with Sirius, if he really judges him so harshly-- or it really such a huge jump to respect someone enough to be their lover rather than their friend...?
It's like, even when I love a fic, I realize that the Remus cannot realistically be that above it all. Sometimes it's even felt like the whole fic, Sirius basically spent his time apologizing to Remus for who he is (with Remus forgiving him out of his innate-- well, I don't know! hard to tell), and that seems even more dysfunctional than the assholish behavior does. There seems to be a game of 'spot the bastard' going on, and The Bastard is pretty much Sirius. And it's not like with Snapefics, where the assholish behavior is part of the appeal for his partner-- no, Remus doesn't actually enjoy it. At all.
No, Remus is actually kind of... Oppressed, you see. By Sirius' assholish not-really-charming-thank-you behavior. But he tolerates it because... because.....
See, here's where I get stuck. A lot of fics focus on Sirius boycrushing on Remus and finally realizing that, and it's all intense and everything-- and Remus wants him back, right. But it's not a question of Remus -falling- for Sirius-- or realizing he fancies him back. No, Remus holds back. Remus... basically, Remus doesn't trust Sirius with his heart.
Man. I know I've said the trust issues with this pairing interest me, but. It seems like the holding-back thing is some kind of moral judgment on Sirius, which really bugs me, for it reminds me of Harry's attitude towards Draco in fics, and dude, that's what I was trying to get away from. I mean, the main reason it bugs me so much is that there's no canon reason for it that I can see-- I mean, I can't really see evidence for Remus being the grudge-bearing type-- that's more Sirius' thing, dude.
Moreover, it seems like a nasty case of projection on the writers' part-- like, it's clear favoritism with Remus-- who apparently has little to no real offensive qualities, and is actually a long-suffering martyr. And I don't hate martyr!Harry as much 'cause well, at least that's canon. But. Remus doesn't have to be. So... wah. I thought the point of S/R was that Sirius could get Remus to loosen up-- let go of his reservations and feel. And if Remus spends the whole time basically making Sirius feel sorry about being himself (as far as Sirius is capable of)-- well-- that makes me feel like they're bad for each other. Which kind of... seems to be missing the point, no?
What weirds me out is that there's this trend where fics keep making it that Remus is with Sirius as some sort of favor, because really, Remus knows better and Sirius is such a bastard (...and someone has to mention that at least once-- often Sirius himself). It's like, I wonder why Remus is friends with Sirius, if he really judges him so harshly-- or it really such a huge jump to respect someone enough to be their lover rather than their friend...?
It's like, even when I love a fic, I realize that the Remus cannot realistically be that above it all. Sometimes it's even felt like the whole fic, Sirius basically spent his time apologizing to Remus for who he is (with Remus forgiving him out of his innate-- well, I don't know! hard to tell), and that seems even more dysfunctional than the assholish behavior does. There seems to be a game of 'spot the bastard' going on, and The Bastard is pretty much Sirius. And it's not like with Snapefics, where the assholish behavior is part of the appeal for his partner-- no, Remus doesn't actually enjoy it. At all.
No, Remus is actually kind of... Oppressed, you see. By Sirius' assholish not-really-charming-thank-you behavior. But he tolerates it because... because.....
See, here's where I get stuck. A lot of fics focus on Sirius boycrushing on Remus and finally realizing that, and it's all intense and everything-- and Remus wants him back, right. But it's not a question of Remus -falling- for Sirius-- or realizing he fancies him back. No, Remus holds back. Remus... basically, Remus doesn't trust Sirius with his heart.
Man. I know I've said the trust issues with this pairing interest me, but. It seems like the holding-back thing is some kind of moral judgment on Sirius, which really bugs me, for it reminds me of Harry's attitude towards Draco in fics, and dude, that's what I was trying to get away from. I mean, the main reason it bugs me so much is that there's no canon reason for it that I can see-- I mean, I can't really see evidence for Remus being the grudge-bearing type-- that's more Sirius' thing, dude.
Moreover, it seems like a nasty case of projection on the writers' part-- like, it's clear favoritism with Remus-- who apparently has little to no real offensive qualities, and is actually a long-suffering martyr. And I don't hate martyr!Harry as much 'cause well, at least that's canon. But. Remus doesn't have to be. So... wah. I thought the point of S/R was that Sirius could get Remus to loosen up-- let go of his reservations and feel. And if Remus spends the whole time basically making Sirius feel sorry about being himself (as far as Sirius is capable of)-- well-- that makes me feel like they're bad for each other. Which kind of... seems to be missing the point, no?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-11-15 11:57 pm (UTC)...you know, I never thought I had any particular love for Sirius, but that's really harsh, especially since people seem to be harder on him than on Snape or Lucius or hey, REMUS.
I mean, does calling Sirius a selfish thoughtless bastard as if that explains everything he does wrong really make sense, even...??
no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 11:53 am (UTC)That's beyond self-centered-- and that thread made it clear that this had nothing to do with who he's paired with since he apparently didn't have the capacity to care about -anyone- enough to hold a relationship. And I don't see how if he was paired with anyone but Remus it wouldn't happen, since the player made it clear that he didn't care about anyone but Harry & Remus, such as he could.
And then Remus dying magically gave him that ability.
God, I think I hate N_A right now.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 08:54 pm (UTC)It doesn't, which is why I don't think I could even think of a question in that Q&A. I had the exact same reaction to that--wtf?
Actually, to be honest, it made me think the player had changed, because at the time of the breakup it seemed like Sirius' player was accepting that Sirius was the one in the wrong, but also felt really strongly that Sirius was not just being a bastard or just trying to cause pain to others. I really wanted to hear his side of the story because it just seemed like his player knew exactly how he felt and why he did whatever he did. The player starred things on Nraged that hinted at that as well--I mean, it seemed like he saw things a certain way and when I suggested that it was starred, so I felt pretty confident about the *real* reason Sirius did what he did, and it had nothing to do with him just being a selfish-bastard and that's it. It wasn't that he was blameless by any means, but I have a hard time seeing him as anything like that description.
That one on the Q&A seemed like Stepford Sirius who'd been re-educated or re-programmed to conform to Remus' view of him: He just did not care about anybody but himself. He was so awful to Remus. Remus was a better godfather. Harry liked Remus better because Remus was more deserving. Frankly, it felt like a scab had come in to re-write the original player's work or something. I probably already had that in my mind because Sirius had a long silence, during which Remus wrote about him in ways that made him seem ridiculous, and then he re-appeared disturbingly docile.
In my head I always thought of the time right after the breakup as the time Remus sent Sirius to the vet to have him fixed.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-16 08:57 pm (UTC)eheheheheh FIXED <3 I feel cheered up now :>