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reenkaI thought it was lust. What with the B/S thing. Lust, lust, lust. Just a fling, really. If I only read X amount of fics, my urge would be sated and it'll all blow over. I mean, I really -can't- get another "thing"-- I keep waiting for the -last- one to stop. I mean, I've been waiting, all this time. Waiting for myself to get over the HP thing. Obsessions suck, kinda.
I should really know better. It's not lust after all. For some reason, it was while reading `Mad World' (and yes, that link's for you, Erin-- though, well, be warned it's a human AU) that it hit me.
Actually, Buffy was my gateway drug after several years of nothing. The show, that is. It was my first new media obsession the fall before I got into HP in May 2002, but since I liked the show, I didn't really look for fic, 'cause that's how I am. I don't tend to like fics for shows I already enjoy since they always screw it up. Maybe it's different 'cause it's been awhile since the end of Buffy, but I still remember it pretty well? I dunno.
It couldn't have come at a worse time. I think I have a sinus infection, and I haven't been -moving- or doing -anything- and I'm probably worrying and/or pissing off people (possibly some of you, even, I dunno), 'cause I'd said I'd do things & I haven't 'cause I can barely think and I have no sinus meds & I should really get some & stop reading fic in a sick daze. This always happens in the first flush of obsession-- no matter what, I just do "the thing" 24/7. And it's the very beginning of a new semester, too. Somehow, this usually happens at the end, near finals, so I tend to risk flunking out 'cause I don't take finals instead. *sigh*
Anyway. Did I have a point? Um... I guess this is a heads up on the state of me, more than anything. I'll try to stop & get a grip after today, fulfill all my sundry real-life and fandom obligations or what have you. Possibly get a Sinufed, that sort of thing. Isn't it funny that one of my biggest guilt-trips on myself right now is how I'm not reading my friends' list & am thus worried people think I'm ignoring their fic/art/them/etc? Oh man. I should go to the Registrar's and register for classes (am a week late. d'oh!) and I'm more guilty I haven't done the fandom things for Armchair & so on 'cause I'm such a fruitcake. I don't deal with guilt well, I think. I just kind of... hide. Erk.
So. Not trying to hide. Or, um, trying not to hide. If anyone cares. Also, was like, DUDE. So it's -not- lust. Hey, I was surprised. Took me reading B/S fic 24/7 for a week for it to hit me, too. I'm all like... I should write some serious B/S... which is just disturbing. Het, man. I'm betraying my slasher brethren. I'm guilty about that too, btw. Like, what if I get a... reputation?? My slash creds will be damaged!! Ahahahah. Oh man, and I'm starting to get -used- to it. It's like... it's not weird and alien and gross anymore! How weird is that!! I'm like... getting re-acclimated. Disturbing.
So. I ♥ you all & will hopefully return with my brain good-as-new. Soonish. Very soonish. And, just in case-- don't hurt me. I am weak & my nose is runny 24/7 as I drown in heterosexual angst, man. The utter horror and shame of it all.
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Date: 2004-01-27 11:31 pm (UTC)You shouldn't feel like you should apologise for having a new interest, man.
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Date: 2004-01-28 12:54 am (UTC)and yeah. i get freaked, a bit, writing stuff like that, but you know, people tell me they're impressed by my "dedication to the fandom"!! they tell me that! more than one person, even!! DUDE!!
...yeah. -.-
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Date: 2004-01-28 10:08 am (UTC)Haha, I'll check out pretty much anything, so you don't have to make a separate list.
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Date: 2004-01-27 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 12:50 am (UTC)it's kinda sad, but i needed to hear that~:)
(and well, yeah, except for those pesky times when they -are-, 'cause you -promised-, ahahah. *coughs*)
<3!
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Date: 2004-01-27 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-27 11:59 pm (UTC)Got your email, too.
I'm pretty out of it & groggy, but will go to sleep now so I won't wake up at 4pm & do it tomorrow, k? If worst comes to worst, you could always just use it as is :>
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Date: 2004-01-28 12:07 am (UTC)The last time I'll be able to check e-mail before going to Jordan for a week is 6am Thursday morning your time. Would really really appreciate it being up before then.
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Date: 2004-01-28 12:12 am (UTC)I sent it to you, right? Although, just in case (though I will edit, still): here (http://www2.expecto-patronum.net/reenka/_hp_wolfboy.txt) ^^;
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Date: 2004-01-28 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 12:24 am (UTC)And feel better!
♥
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Date: 2004-01-28 12:46 am (UTC)oh man, i'm all smiley now :D :D
...and also picturing teletubbies in perverse sexual positions >:D
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Date: 2004-01-28 04:19 am (UTC)Now go REGISTER!!!!
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:52 pm (UTC)I'm mostly guilty 'cause I'm abandoning/avoiding/letting HP stuff slide (along with a lot of other things) while I do my whole first-rush-of-obsession thing. And I don't -want- to replace it, y'know? So it makes me slightly worried people might think I do. Not that it really would matter, I guess. I really have saddled myself with some obligations, though. Gah. *smacks forehead*
yeah. um. register! ^^;
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Date: 2004-01-28 06:51 am (UTC)Season 6 short fic, Ketcup Blood (http://www.echonyc.com/~stax/Buffy/kalima/ketchup.html).
There's a Chosen-centric Still Point (http://www.echonyc.com/~stax/Buffy/kalima/stillpoint.html).
The Bowiehabarata> is my favorite S/B series EVAH.
And there's Daemons Luminati>Daeomons Luminati (http://www.echonyc.com/~stax/Buffy/kalima/DL.html), which is pretty interesting.
Disenchantment (http://www.echonyc.com/~stax/Buffy/herself/Disenchantment.html) is a post-Season 7 (ignore Angel the series) long fic.
For mid-Season 7 branching off from canon AU, go (http://www.soulfulspike.com/bookshelf.htm) here, and read "Old Blood". and um. I think "The Enemy of my Enemy" will be decent, but I haven't read it yet. They're both completed series, though.
This (http://www.impisheyes.com/s_b_fanfic.html) is just a collection of link S/B links. Some will be good, some will be terrible. ()
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:28 pm (UTC)Disenchantment is one of my favorites-- it was actually the fic that got me into my little craze-- the fic that got me started. All of Herself's writings are pretty much to my taste, but nothing beats Disenchantment in terms of story satisfaction-- though I really really like Leather & What She Deserves. And, well, her series. Except that the marriage-and-kid thing gets to me.
My happy discoveries so far....
Herself, Nautibitz, KJ Draft, Pepperlandgirl, RipeWickedPlum, Wisteria, Cousinjean, Moxie & Shippy. (they have the most ridiculous names). Read Saber's B/S stuff & was unimpressed. Seem to have a liking for post S7 fics & human AUs, and a disliking for PWPs set in season 2/3/4/. Have found I like S5 fic more than S6 or S7 fic, even though I haven't actually -seen- most of S5. Like the long fics, and have yet to read a PG13 eheheh.
As far as S6 fic, I really like the 'Hard Candy' series, though that was kind of... too much crushing angst. Kind of like most S6 fic.
Kind of like a mix of snarky smuttiness & crushing angst, heheh. Mostly 'cause other sources of teh happy for Spike & Buffy leave me scratching my head and going... "huh?"
But, thanks >:D
...I think -.-
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Date: 2004-01-28 08:42 pm (UTC)So give me recs! I know Herself, and I've read "Still Like in Sunnydale" by KJ Draft (which I don't buy for a minute, at ALL, but is an interesting AU)... but the others I'm unfamiliar with.
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Date: 2004-01-28 06:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 06:55 am (UTC)I know the feeling, though, when you're like wondering if you're not writing what people want even though it's ridiculous to think your own lj is supposed to be suited to other people. I mean, you sort of have the thing to work out your own obsessions...so it's weird to start apologizing for having other obsessions.
I've been enjoying the BTVS stuff. I just don't really know the show, so I can't say as much. But I fully support you in your obsession. And in your sinus infection--yeah, get rid of that asap!
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Date: 2004-01-28 02:24 pm (UTC)It's not so much that I'm apologizing for a new obsession... as I feel like I'm not keeping up, y'know? Well, I know I'm not. Mostly it's the Armchair thing & the Flashficathon thing & the not reading my flist thing. Oh, and the het thing, but that's just my own issue :> And then there's the "gah, real life hitting me over my noggin and me ignoring it" thing. Plus, it kind of panics me, getting another thing to distract me, since I wanted to get rid of HP (by oversaturation), too. ^^;
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Date: 2004-01-28 08:43 am (UTC)I wish that Maya-from-a-year-ago could come and talk to you. She was so happy and obsessed and admiring of B/S.
This Maya wants you to get better, and, well, is happy if you are happy.
eheheheheheh. I like how we talk about ships as if they are relationships. ;)
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:09 pm (UTC)i'm still hoping this'll go away quickly, man. i feel like i'm -cheating- or something (on h/d), ahahahah. especially weird since sometimes h/d & b/s get mixed up in my head. it's very much like having a "thing" with two demanding arrogant blonds... oh wait... -.-
on the bright side, i don't actually have a thing for blonds. or, you know, for hair in general. not that that's here or there. but i don't like... like people for their hair. this appears to be semi-rare, but i like being special >:D
(also, it's okay, i'm trying not to encourage it, heheh, but i definitely appreciate past-maya's willingness :D hee)
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:24 pm (UTC)Buffy stared back at him without moving, and Spike’s finger tightened on the trigger.
“I said suck it, you whore.”
Uh.
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:30 pm (UTC)yeah. um. just. well, yes, okay, it's like this:
so buffy's a whore & all that, and spike's a bad cop, but it WORKS i PROMISE. at least, i like this spike. he's pretty evil. and there's no fluff. at all. and like... it gets better....?? ahhahaahah
*cringes*
well, once you get past the goodly doses of heavy violence & abuse, y'know. well, it's a lot like S6 b/s, ahahah. except i think it ends better ^^;
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:32 pm (UTC)Better how?
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Date: 2004-01-28 01:50 pm (UTC)buffy changes, anyway. her level of intelligence goes up. the b/s thing gets more complex and there are weird trust issues & so on. i mostly read it for the fucked-up (reeeeeally fucked-up) b/s dynamic (which most people would be too scared to touch... 'cause well, it's just really messed up) and for the non-apologetic Big Bad!Spike, even though he's human. he never gets better, either. But then, Buffy isn't the good guy or anything, though she's still not wanting any piece of him ('cause he's a psycho-- and well, he is).
so i mean, that's what i concentrated on.
there's also this mystery plot thing (cop thriller type) that goes on, and goes along apace even though it's not exactly a huge mystery-- and it's not like spike & buffy are ever really in danger-- it's more of an excuse for spike to go around hurting people and stuff. but i guess as insane as this universe is, it caught my fancy 'cause it's just -so- different and yet it preserves what i see as an important kernel of their dynamic much more than all the teacher/student and best-friends and high school AUs out there, y'know?
i mean, i'm comparing this to "they're best friends in high school" & "he's the mysterious gentleman in the house on the hill" & "he's the hardened MI7 convict with a death-wish who's with her in a plane-crash & they fall in love immediately"-- and that's one of the better set-ups. so yeah. then there's "he's a singer (with a death-wish-- they often have a death-wish for some reason) who crashes into her car, and she's a pampered valleygirl who's got a mouth on her". in almost all these cases, there's angst but there's never really a question of their emotional connection being immediate, even if they deny it, y'know?
Mad World, I thought, was special 'cause it's -so- overtly hard-boiled that it... well... boils away all that fluff and attempts to get them together even if they're -both- as fucked up as on the show, at least around S6. usually, their biggest "issues" are them both being insanely stubborn and spike being insecure and hurt by love or something. Even in that fic where he's an MI7, he's not really psychotic, y'know? He's sorry. He's already redeemed-- he just has no reason to go on. And then there's Buffy. So, Poof!
See? Even through the extreme hokeyness at times, I think Mad World does accomplish something unique. Especially when their relationship gets more intense and they both get more psycho. There are some scenes that really work-- even though they're violent and disturbing, there are definitely signs of real vulnerability and emotional believability. Prolly not reccomended if you want anything remotely canonical, characterization-wise, for anyone but Spike & eventually Buffy (she kind of grows into it by the end, she's just pretty much in a bad place right now-- especially in the sequel, which is a wip on her yahoo group).
Nautibitz' "Crash & Burn" is good for non-Buffy-or-Spike canonic believability (as far as human AUs go), but that's the one with the spoiled-brat!Buffy and punk-singer-with-a-deathwish!Spike. There's a somewhat sad tendency for B/S fics (especially human AUs, where there's no need to adhere to canon history, exactly) for Angel to be portrayed as an utter jerk, and "Crash & Burn" kind of goes there. But... I mean... I still think that Mad World (while insane & over the top in parts) does something I haven't seen anyone else do, y'know? That I wish more people would do, anyway :>