[oopsie]

[reenka]

I thought it was lust. What with the B/S thing. Lust, lust, lust. Just a fling, really. If I only read X amount of fics, my urge would be sated and it'll all blow over. I mean, I really -can't- get another "thing"-- I keep waiting for the -last- one to stop. I mean, I've been waiting, all this time. Waiting for myself to get over the HP thing. Obsessions suck, kinda.

I should really know better. It's not lust after all. For some reason, it was while reading `Mad World' (and yes, that link's for you, Erin-- though, well, be warned it's a human AU) that it hit me.

Actually, Buffy was my gateway drug after several years of nothing. The show, that is. It was my first new media obsession the fall before I got into HP in May 2002, but since I liked the show, I didn't really look for fic, 'cause that's how I am. I don't tend to like fics for shows I already enjoy since they always screw it up. Maybe it's different 'cause it's been awhile since the end of Buffy, but I still remember it pretty well? I dunno.

It couldn't have come at a worse time. I think I have a sinus infection, and I haven't been -moving- or doing -anything- and I'm probably worrying and/or pissing off people (possibly some of you, even, I dunno), 'cause I'd said I'd do things & I haven't 'cause I can barely think and I have no sinus meds & I should really get some & stop reading fic in a sick daze. This always happens in the first flush of obsession-- no matter what, I just do "the thing" 24/7. And it's the very beginning of a new semester, too. Somehow, this usually happens at the end, near finals, so I tend to risk flunking out 'cause I don't take finals instead. *sigh*

Anyway. Did I have a point? Um... I guess this is a heads up on the state of me, more than anything. I'll try to stop & get a grip after today, fulfill all my sundry real-life and fandom obligations or what have you. Possibly get a Sinufed, that sort of thing. Isn't it funny that one of my biggest guilt-trips on myself right now is how I'm not reading my friends' list & am thus worried people think I'm ignoring their fic/art/them/etc? Oh man. I should go to the Registrar's and register for classes (am a week late. d'oh!) and I'm more guilty I haven't done the fandom things for Armchair & so on 'cause I'm such a fruitcake. I don't deal with guilt well, I think. I just kind of... hide. Erk.

So. Not trying to hide. Or, um, trying not to hide. If anyone cares. Also, was like, DUDE. So it's -not- lust. Hey, I was surprised. Took me reading B/S fic 24/7 for a week for it to hit me, too. I'm all like... I should write some serious B/S... which is just disturbing. Het, man. I'm betraying my slasher brethren. I'm guilty about that too, btw. Like, what if I get a... reputation?? My slash creds will be damaged!! Ahahahah. Oh man, and I'm starting to get -used- to it. It's like... it's not weird and alien and gross anymore! How weird is that!! I'm like... getting re-acclimated. Disturbing.

So. I ♥ you all & will hopefully return with my brain good-as-new. Soonish. Very soonish. And, just in case-- don't hurt me. I am weak & my nose is runny 24/7 as I drown in heterosexual angst, man. The utter horror and shame of it all.

Comments

[silviakundera.livejournal.com]

Herself, Nautibitz, KJ Draft, Pepperlandgirl, RipeWickedPlum, Wisteria, Cousinjean, Moxie & Shippy

So give me recs! I know Herself, and I've read "Still Like in Sunnydale" by KJ Draft (which I don't buy for a minute, at ALL, but is an interesting AU)... but the others I'm unfamiliar with.