~~umm...

[reenka]

ok, well... er....
i don't quite know how to say this...
but.
i'm sure in the future, one or more of you will defriend me. and that's ok. no, really. i may feel slightly hurt, but i'll be fine. there are lots of good reasons to take someone off your friends list.
    it's just, it's a paranoia-inducing thing, anyway. it makes people not friend people in the first place, because they haven't had any assurance they'll be friended back, and stuff....

and i'm not really the sort of person who gives in to the little voice that says, "reeeena, oh, reeeeena. they'll de-friiiiiend youuuuuu," and try to say whatever comes to mind even if i think it's boring and possibly stupid. ahem. but. please. please?
    just as a future reference. um. it would be nice if you let me know why you did it, whenever you do. just. less paranoia = a good thing, no? i think so, anyway.

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*feels better*
*sighs*
well, not just offputting, but like, i always -wonder-. like, it's me, isn't it. i did something wrong. i said something stupid. i committed some cardinal sin of un-interestingness! woe is me!! *laughs*

it's ok if it's someone i don't know/care to know much. but if it's someone who i admire, it's like... wah. if they won't be my friend anymore, what can that mean? i'm ... i'm... i'm obviously more insecure than i thought ><;;
when aja defriended me for a bit, i was really -really- angsty. i mean, i know it's just stupid keep-up-with-interesting-journals feature on a stupid site and they don't know me and if they defriend me it doesn't mean i'm suddenly uncool, but, but....
if -i- still think they're cool... it gets pretty high-schoolish pretty fast.
which is why i used to friend everyone and can't get myself to defriend anyone. i don't ever want to make anyone think, even for a second, that they're not cool. i mean, maybe they aren't (eheheh) but they won't hear it from -me-, y'know?

maybe i shouldn't friend people i'm not actual "friends" with, and that i don't feel i "know", because if one of -those- people defriended me, i'd be really upset, but on the other hand, i'd try to work it out and feel i have some footing, and stuff. but just people i admire but don't necessarily -know- very well, i have no right to say, "wah! don't do this! aren't we..." ...and then i'd stutter, because we--well-- aren't.

ahahahh. it's v. silly to even make any sort of deal about this, but i just wanted to um... let people know my preference. not that i think anyone is going to remember. but, just in case.
i mean, i don't know why people friend me, but i have enough self-esteem to assume it's because i'm interesting (though not enough to think it's because they like my stories). but.

gah. i sound like a dork ><
still, you should've -heard- me when aja defriended me.
i was coming to -nyc- to meet addictedkitten and gang for the premier, and all i could think was, waaaaaaah, aja defriended me, waaaaaaah. not happy. [this was before she replied to my email & said it wasn't personal.]

i don't think i would've enjoyed the movie near as much if i didn't get the email first.
<-- oversensitive goofball ><;;

[ishuca.livejournal.com]

well, not just offputting, but like, i always -wonder-. like, it's me, isn't it. i did something wrong. i said something stupid. i committed some cardinal sin of un-interestingness! woe is me!! *laughs*

um, sweetie? most of us commit that sin once in a while (erm, often, if the case is me). of course, 'uninteresting' really depends on personal perspective, you know? i mean, i like to read about people's personal lives, because it gives me a better feel for who they are. and i write about my own life because i can, and also because i have RL friends on lj who really live for stuff like that.

but it depends, you know?

it almost makes one wish we had 'acquaintance' lists instead of friends lists. :sighs:

at least you got it cleared up though, and were able to enjoy the movie.

<-- oversensitive goofball ><;;

well, maybe. but i think everyone becomes oversensitive in some case or another.

:many hugs:

oh, and i'll be posting PoL13 in a couple of hours. =^-^=
no, this is not the chapter dedicated to you yet (you might very well *kill* me for that one), but oh well. ;P

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*
yah, i know i'm not always "on the ball", so to speak. but. eh, if someone likes me enough to read me at all, you'd think they wouldn't hold that against me, y'know? ^^;
and sigh, this time it wasn't aja... but i feel better now. veuki posted the most -hilarious- dumbledore songvid (to `i'm too sexy for...') on her lj. hee!

and yeay. more fic!
and don't make me paranoid like that, or i'll think you have "evil plans" for our beloved oh-so-blissful lovey-dovey couple *snorts*

eheheh. y'know... i mean... i -am- still all about the h/d luuurve, but with your fic... it's so messed up, i'm not as hyped up about them -having- to be happily-ever-after as usual. really now. i want to -smack- harry since that time in the changing room. -smack- him. grr.

and. *small voice*
have you read my fic? meep?
see. like. i know i -probably- don't suck.
but. it's like, if only two-three people out of 102 respond to a fic i post, i'm like.... er. it's because it -sucks- isn't it. and they don't want to be the ones to break it to me ><
but.
yes. the drabble isn't a drabble anymore anyway (it's part of a longer ginny/pansy & h/d thing which i'm mostly done with).
but. curious about `tangents' ^^;

hee. i'm actually more excited than normal about this coming chapter 'cause it has y'know, harry in it. i've missed him~:)

[ishuca.livejournal.com]

i know i'm not always "on the ball", so to speak. but. eh, if someone likes me enough to read me at all, you'd think they wouldn't hold that against me, y'know?

:blinks: people hold your opinions against you? but they're just that- opinions.
i mean, encountering opinions different from what's own is what makes life interesting- it challenges one to think and rethink.

eheheh. y'know... i mean... i -am- still all about the h/d luuurve, but with your fic... it's so messed up, i'm not as hyped up about them -having- to be happily-ever-after as usual.

heh heh heh. my only comment is that you shouldn't assume anything. ;P

really now. i want to -smack- harry since that time in the changing room. -smack- him. grr.

heee! :smacks harry:
then you should play close attention this chapter...

have you read my fic? meep?

:is so incredibly ashamed:
um, well, this past week has been- yeah. busy and stressful would be an understatement. but i will! :sniffles:

i will read it! iwilliwilliwilliwill!

:grovels before reena:

hee. i'm actually more excited than normal about this coming chapter 'cause it has y'know, harry in it. i've missed him~:)

:laughs: you do realize that PoL11 was a *huge* harry chapter, don't you? :blows kisses:

[wellington.livejournal.com]

maybe i shouldn't friend people i'm not actual "friends" with, and that i don't feel i "know"

>:< *is offended* Now I shall de-friend you!

No, no, I am joking, my paranoid friend. But really, if you thought like that a little while back you wouldn't have friended me! And then I would be sad (except that I wouldn't have even known, so that doesn't really work, but still...). I for one, think you are brave to actually friend people you don't know...I get all nervous and never do it. I think yours is one of the most interesting fandom journals ever, by the way. I might not comment on all your posts but I do read them. No reason you should feel insecure. :)

p.s. *points at icon* Propaganda! Mwahaahaa!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee~! thankees. though, i didn't really expect you/anyone to -friend me back- me in the first place, which doesn't bother me. it's the defriending that starts me on the paranoia -.-;;

i mean, you're one of those people i wanted to know if they ever wrote stuff again, and since i never go back and check ff.net, lj it was, usually.
unless the journal seemed -really- boring.
i was still just friending everyone who seemed to be a good writer then (and i still do). it's the whole, well i -know- some of you now (sort of), and so it hurts a little when it's like, not reciprocated anymore.

hee. and it's a nice kiss.
ahhaha but it would be nicer if it was... you know. the right kissee >:D

[wellington.livejournal.com]

I understand! At last I understand! Hehe...I've just been de-friended by Audrey Thurston Hirsh, who is an admirable writer but someone I don't really know, and I feel all paranoid and self-conscious! Yay! Well, I mean not yay, but...I mean...I finally understand your post properly! *is giddy with empathy* :)

(please don't de-friend me now for making stupid pointless comments...I don't think I could take it at the moment *dramatic swoon* ;))

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

ehehehe! that was what sent -me- into a tizzy, too~!
mostly i'm all "grr" and yargh, because i -still- hadn't read the latest chapter of `speak, desire' which was friends'-locked, so now i'm y'know... out in the cold.
sigh.
but yes. defriending si always .... harsh, unless you didn't care to start with, in which case you still don't care ><;;