[I don't believe we can resist the things that make no sense...]

[reenka]

You know, this is really odd-- kind of mind-boggling, even-- for me to admit, but: just because I don't -identify- myself with any social group or time period, (early lj) HP fandom included, it doesn't mean I'm not actually included.
    I mean, it annoys me so much when people say stuff like 'but why do you care about ancient history, you losers' partly for idealistic 'but history is important, asshole!!' sort of reasons, yeah, but the main reason is-- the main reason is that it's my history too. I was part of that fandom-- I was there, I knew these people, they knew (at least of) me, and I felt... I guess I felt I belonged. So it matters because I was enough of a loser to get involved and stay involved up till now, even though I haven't really 'moved on' in the sense of joining another fandom -or- really participating in the HP fandom as it stands. In that sense, I -myself- am a pointless remnant the same way some pointless story about old-time BNFs is.

I mean, I reread Bec's 'H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' even though I couldn't care less about whatever 'goodfic' is going around H/D circles now, say-- and it means so much more to me than 'just a fic', because I read it back before I had a coherent idea of 'oh, it's intelli' or a 100% solid grasp of the H/D cliches it mentioned-- I read it raw and starry-eyed, not yet inured to the 'tricks' of fanfic or sharp little references to snarling boysex against a wall. And that sort of thing never seems to leave me. Now, I can almost tell what the 'real' fic looks like, trying to cut away my ancient bias like an appendix, but it won't... quite... go. I think it's still a good fic, but if you look at it now, you won't understand it, I think, what it -felt- like to read it for a style-whorish H/D-obsessed fangirl in 2002, because it was basically written the -very month- I started reading HP & H/D.

I mean, in the end, it was coincidence-- I just -happened- to have my first contact with H/D be eleveninches'/Durendal's website, and I just -happened- to read her generous links page to Aja & Ivy & Rhysenn & Penelope (the Veelas & various H/D + intelli associates, et al) immediately afterwards because Durendal was a Veela. So I saw-- I imprinted-- I fangirled. That's basically how it went.

And I ask myself now-- honestly-- would I care if this was some wank history about the Buffy fandom or even HP history I hadn't participated in, like something actually recent or from 2000/HP4GU-era? Probably not, you know? I wouldn't care how exciting/shocking the wank is, how the truth finally came out, whatever-- it only matters 'cause it ifluenced the course of what was once my fandom. My turf, y'know? Even though now that seems kind of funny and sad.

Comments

[zedmeister.livejournal.com]

A lot of newbies these days don't even understand what "Intellislash" actually was, and who the Intellislashers were. When you look at Intellislash these days, you're like, WTF? It is really a product of its time. As was, say, Daisychain!Draco.

But a big part of this is also the fact that nobody really *talks* about these things anymore. I remember in 2003 or so, every newbie *had* to learn what Intellislash was, what t00b meant, and so on, because these terms were simply part of the fandom vocabulary. Say what you will about Aja, she was reinforcing the H/D community with practically every post she made. Everywhere you turned, people were discussing these fics, squeeing over them or wanking about them. Nowadays, it's a rare HP fan who even knows what BNF means, let alone the old fandom-specific terms.

You can't really blame them, though. It's not just that most of the old fans left the fandom; most of the major archives are gone or abandoned, and Yahoo has deleted most of the old mailing lists. Veela Inc is gone, the PSA still isn't back to what it used to be, and the new sites - The Silver Snitch, for example, have no SOUL to them :D There's simply no place for the newbies to learn about The Way Fandom Was, even if they wanted to. Which, I'll grant you, most of them don't seme to want to, but still.

Also, the old fandomers were too good at covering their tracks after they left HP. For example, I have no idea who you are. :D There's simply no way to get in touch with most of them again.

I don't think the old classic fics have necessarily lost their meaning or value, though, especially the ones that were more character- than plot-driven; they're just lost in the ocean of fics written since then. Every now and then someone makes an effort to rec them again, but that doesn't do much to ensure their visibility.

The fandom has simply grown too big and lost cohesion. There are very few focal points today, be they BNFs or archives or recslists. IMO, the nature of livejournal is partly to blame for that, since everything has becomed short-lived and transient. Fics zoom by on the communities and only attract attention if they're multiparters, meta is discussed briefly and then consigned to the author's memories, rarely to be rediscovered by someone who wasn't originally present to read it. That makes me sad, since I'm still nominally in fandom but don't really have time to check my flist anymore, and I find that there's no ther way to keep track of what's going on.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hahah, it's really kinda pathetic that my response to this is-- I'd really want to do something about all this... if only I cared >.<;;;;

Back in the day, I actually joined Veela Inc as a reccer, but never finished my big project anyway, so what can I say~:) I'm not even sure -what- would be currently worth preserving-- and besides, back in the day there -were- websites/mailing lists, I immediately added the author's ljs so I could keep track of them here 'cause I thought it was easier, all on one flist rather than scattered across bookmarks. The grass is always greener, y'know :>

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

You can't really blame them, though.

I can't blame them for not knowing, and I wasn't - I was just saying that disregarding what other people find important, whether it's fandom history or personal history, is ignorant. In a universal context, not just a fandom one.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Uh... looking at the bright side of life, wanted to share:
You'd probably like this (http://community.livejournal.com/serpentinelion/29746.html) in spite of (because of) the Muggle AU schoolboy weirdly endearing fightpr0n... thing (featuring Very Very Gay Yet Somewhat Repressed!Draco, basically my favorite... though that's neither here nor there) :D Or you may utterly hate it, in which case DON'T HURT ME, I MEAN WELL :(

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

LMFAO. I read it a while ago, but I don't think it had much of an impact on me... I do always love some repressed!Draco though!!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hahah my main impact was 'hey, it's the first newish H/D I randomly read in months and months and I DIDN'T HATE IT' which is positive all in itself, y'know! Heh. Also I thought it was hot (hotter than like... well, unhot things *cough*mostoftherestofthecomm*cough*) ^^;;;
(Wheee, icon <3~!)

You know, my only real motivation to write H/D that I have left is for whoever I'm friends with that may want it ^^; In this case, it just reminded me of the 5th year AU I still wanna write for you, what with the Room of Requirement and good old Cedric-angstying-yet-horny!Harry :)) You've probably forgotten by now :>

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

And here's me, still fantasising about H/D before I fall asleep last night :)) I'm totally unable to write anything, though, even for other fandoms. But I think you've noted before that I just get into funks like that.

I seriously want this 5th year AU :( Wasn't there supposed to be a tiara involved? Maybe I am thinking of something else...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound weird, but... even though I generally don't fantasize about H/D anymore on my own, I just noticed that the H/D pr0n in that fic punched me in the gut a lot harder (and faster? this is really sounding dirty now) than any other kind of yaoi/pr0n I've seen since. Like, from the first bit of sudden arousal between them, I'm just hooked in that much more, like I'm right there all the way (like, I can -feel- it)and I'm not just watching them. Uh. I don't know if that even makes sense ><;; :))

Well, see, that's the sort of thing that makes me seriously driven to write! You wanting it, I mean, plus it not being haaaaard like my eeevil novella (I'm telling you, it's HORRIFYING trying to make post-HBP!H/D have sex-or-the-plot-gets-it in this day and age... why, I remember in the good old days all you needed was a potion... AND LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW I'M TEMPTED). Omg, omg HAHAHA DO YOU THINK??! No, that would be too lame. Too lame, too lame. Noooo, bad!Reena, no sex-potions in serious drama DE!Draco fics, noooo (BUT WHY NOT AAARGH I LOVE IT NOOO DISSUADE ME NOOOOooooo... -.-) It would be fun, though. Perhaps I can tie it to Voldemort, AHAHAHAHALKFJSlakjfalks *cries*

Anyway, yes, I believe there was a tiara on that old bust in the Room in the actual canon illustration? Maybe. I think the 'plot' is that they get stuck in the RoR and get drunk while singing silly songs :))

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

It makes sense! That's half of what I even need to enjoy H/D -- I mean, I can enjoy the most awful of H/D purely on the merit that the concept of arousal between Harry and Draco works for me. I don't really require CONVINCING, which is what a lot of fics strive to do...

Oh man Reena. I want this fic. I need this fic...!!!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I was actually thinking-- my favorite type of H/D arousal is both sudden and inexplicable. Like, they're both going 'WTF??!' but can't help it and can't explain it to themselves (which is why I'm attracted to saying 'fuck it' and going with a potion) but really you don't need a potion either. It's like... not the most canon-conscious of approaches, but you -can- do it in shorter fics (damn my longfic...ness!). Especially what with the being angry and nekkid and in the showers... or possibly stuck somewhere like a closet... or that one fic (IP I BELIEVE) where it was some sort of... wardrobe/coffin/thingie. It's really crack on a stick, that's why it's classic :D