[I don't believe we can resist the things that make no sense...]

[reenka]

You know, this is really odd-- kind of mind-boggling, even-- for me to admit, but: just because I don't -identify- myself with any social group or time period, (early lj) HP fandom included, it doesn't mean I'm not actually included.
    I mean, it annoys me so much when people say stuff like 'but why do you care about ancient history, you losers' partly for idealistic 'but history is important, asshole!!' sort of reasons, yeah, but the main reason is-- the main reason is that it's my history too. I was part of that fandom-- I was there, I knew these people, they knew (at least of) me, and I felt... I guess I felt I belonged. So it matters because I was enough of a loser to get involved and stay involved up till now, even though I haven't really 'moved on' in the sense of joining another fandom -or- really participating in the HP fandom as it stands. In that sense, I -myself- am a pointless remnant the same way some pointless story about old-time BNFs is.

I mean, I reread Bec's 'H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' even though I couldn't care less about whatever 'goodfic' is going around H/D circles now, say-- and it means so much more to me than 'just a fic', because I read it back before I had a coherent idea of 'oh, it's intelli' or a 100% solid grasp of the H/D cliches it mentioned-- I read it raw and starry-eyed, not yet inured to the 'tricks' of fanfic or sharp little references to snarling boysex against a wall. And that sort of thing never seems to leave me. Now, I can almost tell what the 'real' fic looks like, trying to cut away my ancient bias like an appendix, but it won't... quite... go. I think it's still a good fic, but if you look at it now, you won't understand it, I think, what it -felt- like to read it for a style-whorish H/D-obsessed fangirl in 2002, because it was basically written the -very month- I started reading HP & H/D.

I mean, in the end, it was coincidence-- I just -happened- to have my first contact with H/D be eleveninches'/Durendal's website, and I just -happened- to read her generous links page to Aja & Ivy & Rhysenn & Penelope (the Veelas & various H/D + intelli associates, et al) immediately afterwards because Durendal was a Veela. So I saw-- I imprinted-- I fangirled. That's basically how it went.

And I ask myself now-- honestly-- would I care if this was some wank history about the Buffy fandom or even HP history I hadn't participated in, like something actually recent or from 2000/HP4GU-era? Probably not, you know? I wouldn't care how exciting/shocking the wank is, how the truth finally came out, whatever-- it only matters 'cause it ifluenced the course of what was once my fandom. My turf, y'know? Even though now that seems kind of funny and sad.

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

This is going to sound weird, but... even though I generally don't fantasize about H/D anymore on my own, I just noticed that the H/D pr0n in that fic punched me in the gut a lot harder (and faster? this is really sounding dirty now) than any other kind of yaoi/pr0n I've seen since. Like, from the first bit of sudden arousal between them, I'm just hooked in that much more, like I'm right there all the way (like, I can -feel- it)and I'm not just watching them. Uh. I don't know if that even makes sense ><;; :))

Well, see, that's the sort of thing that makes me seriously driven to write! You wanting it, I mean, plus it not being haaaaard like my eeevil novella (I'm telling you, it's HORRIFYING trying to make post-HBP!H/D have sex-or-the-plot-gets-it in this day and age... why, I remember in the good old days all you needed was a potion... AND LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW I'M TEMPTED). Omg, omg HAHAHA DO YOU THINK??! No, that would be too lame. Too lame, too lame. Noooo, bad!Reena, no sex-potions in serious drama DE!Draco fics, noooo (BUT WHY NOT AAARGH I LOVE IT NOOO DISSUADE ME NOOOOooooo... -.-) It would be fun, though. Perhaps I can tie it to Voldemort, AHAHAHAHALKFJSlakjfalks *cries*

Anyway, yes, I believe there was a tiara on that old bust in the Room in the actual canon illustration? Maybe. I think the 'plot' is that they get stuck in the RoR and get drunk while singing silly songs :))

[plumforgot.livejournal.com]

It makes sense! That's half of what I even need to enjoy H/D -- I mean, I can enjoy the most awful of H/D purely on the merit that the concept of arousal between Harry and Draco works for me. I don't really require CONVINCING, which is what a lot of fics strive to do...

Oh man Reena. I want this fic. I need this fic...!!!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I was actually thinking-- my favorite type of H/D arousal is both sudden and inexplicable. Like, they're both going 'WTF??!' but can't help it and can't explain it to themselves (which is why I'm attracted to saying 'fuck it' and going with a potion) but really you don't need a potion either. It's like... not the most canon-conscious of approaches, but you -can- do it in shorter fics (damn my longfic...ness!). Especially what with the being angry and nekkid and in the showers... or possibly stuck somewhere like a closet... or that one fic (IP I BELIEVE) where it was some sort of... wardrobe/coffin/thingie. It's really crack on a stick, that's why it's classic :D