(...why no) woe?

[reenka]

You know, it just struck me that I've yet to find a fic or manga that has anything I could term 'bisexual angst'. I mean, there's 'omg, no, I'm gay and I like someone I could never have' angst and there's the regular old 'omg boys/girls drive me INSANE yet I like one, woe!' angst... well, there's a bunch of variants, but. Point being, bisexuals always seem to be portrayed as being free spirits for whom gender doesn't matter-- either in a slutty way or just in a really 'enlightened' way, and that sort of... annoys me, actually. Not least because in my own experience, at least, gender does matter in terms of attraction, even if you like -both-; there's still that intrinsic difference between both and either, right? (Though yes, I realize both are different types of bisexuality; it's just that I see one represented and not the other.)

I mean, sure, everyone knows it's rude and un-PC to perpetuate the bi-slut stereotype, but the whole 'uncommon wisdom' shtick can also seem oppressive, in a way, simply because it doesn't recognize that we -all- have the same kind of identity crises and self-questioning at some point. Yes, even straight white male quarterbackers in the Midwest can question themselves sometimes, I'm sure.

In other words, in fanfic and manga-- and even in general media-- I find that whenever bisexuals aren't -invisible-, they're... kind of dismissive and/or dismissed-- like, oh, they're bi, so that whole angst you-the-pov-character are having doesn't apply.

I mean, I can easily see a character having -more- confusion because wow, they're attracted to -both- and it's easy enough to have -no- clue what you want in that case. What if Harry was bi, and therefore liked -both- Ginny and Draco in 'that' way, for instance?

...I dunno. Maybe that was my rare sudden burst of bisexual angst or... something. :/

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I think what I was getting at is that gender-awareness doesn't have to be a -fuss- or an obsession anymore than liking the tartness of green apples and yet also the sweetness of yellow apples is-- like, you may like apples, sure, but don't you like different things about different kinds of apples? At least, that's been my experience. I'd never make a fuss or a big deal about the differences between apples, but my instinctive response is just to take pleasure in different things about them -because- they just-- well, they taste different depending on the kind of apple it is. It's not like it doesn't -matter-. Sometimes I like the sweetness of a yellow apple and sometimes I want something tart. Heh. The angst would just showcase this basic property of desire, I guess.

I've always been intuitively convinced that everyone's more-or-less bi (though then came the Kinsey scale and full sixes and all that)-- but I suppose the lack of -awareness- that one -could- be bi rather than gay or straight could be seen as imposed by others (which is my source of discomfort). Like-- I can never -settle- and that feels unnatural, though maybe that's my own nature, which likes to know things for certain. I can never quite -pick-, you know, and that's kind of distracting. But yeah, hahah the whole popular thing about phases and it being normal to think girls are pretty and such-- just adds to the whole thing. Though I think the whole thing probably does apply the most to virgins and/or teenagers, someone who's inexperienced and only just figuring out who they are.

Though angst aside, the whole attitude of 'both' vs 'either' is still valid (and rarely seen by me).

[kattahj.livejournal.com]

I think what I was getting at is that gender-awareness doesn't have to be a -fuss- or an obsession anymore than liking the tartness of green apples and yet also the sweetness of yellow apples is-- like, you may like apples, sure, but don't you like different things about different kinds of apples?

I think... yes and no. I don't so much like different things in men and women as I like different kinds of men and women. Apart from the penis and vagina thing, almost everything can be seen in both sexes. I also have a mad kink for androgynes, and sometimes the traits of one sex can be sexier in another - like kissing a girl with a bit of a moustache. (Not joking.)

If a character goes out of "type" it can lead to some interesting questions, whether it's gender type or body type or personality type. In one of my stories, Doyle described his "type" as brunet(te)s that were taller than him - though in that particular story, he actually stuck to type! While Gunn in my Birthdayverse stories is still trying to figure out his type and with that his sexuality.

But I've never been that fond of sexuality angsting, really. Even as a kid, while I would read gay stories, I much preferred the "girl-in-drag" stories that had all the sexual complications and (usually) not half the angst about it. (A favourite was Caroline in Maria Gripe's Shadow books, who dressed as a man when she felt like it and shamelessly flirted with everything that came her way. She turned out to be half sister with most of the people she flirted with, too. I'm still not sure what Gripe intended with that twist.)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Yeah, liking different things, that's what I meant-- and liking characteristics of the opposite gender in a person, too, that also applies because it's differentiation, basically. All I ever had a problem with was the portrayal of bisexuality as if it was all about a lack of differentiation, a sort of blind omnivorous attitude like 'I'll eat anything'. And I'm sure there are types of people like that, but I'm just a very picky person, I guess, and it makes no sense to me that every bi character I see should be that carefree & omnivorous. But I'm starting to think I'm boxing myself in with the stories I read because I tend to lean heavily towards romantic idealistic stories where there's that whole 'true luv' deal superseding everything....

On a bit of tangent, I really like it when characters go out of 'type', if they're known to have one-- it makes for surprises and interesting drama situations, too. I think a story where the character's attraction is predictable to them on some level just doesn't seem very exciting~:)

However, I didn't mean to focus so heavily on angst as being necesary-- I was contrasting 'angst' with 'not a care in the world' type behavior in -every- bi character I saw. The sexuality angst thing wasn't because I wanted to see it but because it wasn't there much, I guess, and also it doesn't have to be heavy but some level of confusion seems almost inevitable especially if you're writing about teenagers in the first place. I feel like bisexuality is especially confusing just because you get torn in contradictory directions, which makes it unclear which impulse to follow, but then that's just me, not being happy-go-lucky :> I do like happy-go-lucky -characters-, and there's a lot of them, it's just-- at some point I start to feel left out or something :>

[kattahj.livejournal.com]

All I ever had a problem with was the portrayal of bisexuality as if it was all about a lack of differentiation, a sort of blind omnivorous attitude like 'I'll eat anything'.

Ah, well, that would be a sense of omnisexuality, or a "sexual vortex" sort of thing. Which fits certain characters - Faith, Jack Sparrow, etc - but certainly not all.

And yeah, I think it's important to differentiate that kind of omnisexuality from common polyamory and both of them from bisexuality. Though I don't think that if one considers penis vs. vagina a relatively unimportant question, this in itself implies a willingness to sleep with anyone and anything. One could be very picky in other ways - "I'll only sleep with nerds!" for example.

But I often have trouble with fandom discussions concerning gender because it seems I don't see the presence of gender as clearly as many others, especially not in real life. (In fiction you can often tell man from woman by their clothes, if nothing else.)

The sexuality angst thing wasn't because I wanted to see it but because it wasn't there much, I guess, and also it doesn't have to be heavy but some level of confusion seems almost inevitable especially if you're writing about teenagers in the first place.

Mm. I don't, usually, so that could affect it. The one teen-on-teen romance that come to mind in my stories is "The Tale of Myra and Merrilil", which was het but interspecies, and that's a whole other kettle of fish. :-)