(...why no) woe?

[reenka]

You know, it just struck me that I've yet to find a fic or manga that has anything I could term 'bisexual angst'. I mean, there's 'omg, no, I'm gay and I like someone I could never have' angst and there's the regular old 'omg boys/girls drive me INSANE yet I like one, woe!' angst... well, there's a bunch of variants, but. Point being, bisexuals always seem to be portrayed as being free spirits for whom gender doesn't matter-- either in a slutty way or just in a really 'enlightened' way, and that sort of... annoys me, actually. Not least because in my own experience, at least, gender does matter in terms of attraction, even if you like -both-; there's still that intrinsic difference between both and either, right? (Though yes, I realize both are different types of bisexuality; it's just that I see one represented and not the other.)

I mean, sure, everyone knows it's rude and un-PC to perpetuate the bi-slut stereotype, but the whole 'uncommon wisdom' shtick can also seem oppressive, in a way, simply because it doesn't recognize that we -all- have the same kind of identity crises and self-questioning at some point. Yes, even straight white male quarterbackers in the Midwest can question themselves sometimes, I'm sure.

In other words, in fanfic and manga-- and even in general media-- I find that whenever bisexuals aren't -invisible-, they're... kind of dismissive and/or dismissed-- like, oh, they're bi, so that whole angst you-the-pov-character are having doesn't apply.

I mean, I can easily see a character having -more- confusion because wow, they're attracted to -both- and it's easy enough to have -no- clue what you want in that case. What if Harry was bi, and therefore liked -both- Ginny and Draco in 'that' way, for instance?

...I dunno. Maybe that was my rare sudden burst of bisexual angst or... something. :/

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

So you're saying the people who write 'come one come all, water's fine!' type bisexuals aren't bi themselves--? Heh. Quite likely, probably. Though this (probably) does mostly just apply to teenagers who're still going through that whole self-questioning phase. Now I feel chagrined I didn't make that more clear, since that age-group issue seems so obvious in retrospect-- like, it wouldn't come up in most adult stories unless it's the usual 'omg no, I'm straight and I like a boy!!1'... thing. Which sort of bores me now.

It's rather odd how much slash that I read just makes 'em suddenly gay or doesn't deal with it at all, like "I'm not gay, I just love you". Like, maybe the thing is-- the thing that gave -me- angst is that I always liked both at the same time-- but if a character in a romance fic is in love and in a relationship, he can't be like, 'oh, I like him! but I still like girls, why??!' because that wouldn't be romantic, I guess--? So because of that, most characters just focus totally on that one guy so the bisexual issue is sort of in the past if anything, like if their love interest is bi, and usually it's presented as angst long -long- past, and stated like 'oh, I don't care what gender it is' if explained at all (*grits teeth*). But then, how do you say 'oh yah, I like girls a lot too'--? I guess that just sounds fishy or something.

[femmenerd.livejournal.com]

So you're saying the people who write 'come one come all, water's fine!' type bisexuals aren't bi themselves--?

I can only really speak for myself and why I do things and I'm willing to admit that my own world view affects the kind of fic that I write. Although I do suspect sometimes when I read bi-fic that is grossly emotionally inaccurate in terms of any type of bisexual I've ever met that the author maybe doesn't have much RL experience with the subject (either personal or knowledge gleaned from people of their acquaintance) but crap, as you say, there are a lot of kinds of bisexuality (or rather sexuality in general).

Ah yes, the old "I'm not gay, I just love you" issue. I do think it depends a whole lot on the fictional context that the person is using, etc. and that it can get awfully awkward if someone's fic is a piece of GLBT propaganda but in modern/contemporary settings, I do think that not dealing with say homophobia or the social ramifications of any kind of queer behavior is ridiculous. And it is weird when you happen upon slash that's kind of homophobic!??!!

Sounds like your "Bi issues" are kinda like my RL bi issues and nope, they generally don't fit well in an idealistic romance plot line. And I do NOT think that having said issues means that we're super slutty (necessarily, heh). I think that lots of people have fears and nerves about commitment. IMO no matter how much you love someone, it's just a fact that monogamy means making choices.

[femmenerd.livejournal.com]

not acknowledging the existence of homophobia is more what I meant.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

On some level I feel like if you really like the other person regardless of gender-- as 'just a person'-- you're not being very sexual but rather, um, spiritual or mental. Also, don't most people, bi or not, just relate to different genders differently at least in some ways--? I rarely meet a person (and I've known some bisexuals, though not that many) who's just equally comfortable with both genders, would do exactly the same sorts of things with them, would not alter their behavior or mannerisms or activities depending on whether they're with guys, girls, or a mixed group. I mean, doesn't have to be that everyone discriminates in a bad way, but we do seem to differentiate just on a social level, sexuality aside....

At the same time, I wasn't trying to say you should deal with queer issues 'realistically' no matter what the setting-- though maybe I'm coming off that way. It's only that it bothers me to have the same stereotype constantly perpetuated-- there could be some variety, at least, and that's what I don't see. Though I suppose there's a third bisexual type-- besides enlightened and slutty, there's also repressed. *sigh*

Though I mostly meant that it's not so much a polyamory vs. monogamy issue as a continued sexual awareness issue-- like, something to do with a general statement about one's preferences made by oneself or another character, or an off-hand comment about 'oh, that chick's hot' or-- well, just whenever you have 'oh, he takes both girls and boys, doesn't care' statement, you could say, 'oh, he likes girls too'. Or something. Now I feel like I'm splitting hairs~:)