(...why no) woe?

[reenka]

You know, it just struck me that I've yet to find a fic or manga that has anything I could term 'bisexual angst'. I mean, there's 'omg, no, I'm gay and I like someone I could never have' angst and there's the regular old 'omg boys/girls drive me INSANE yet I like one, woe!' angst... well, there's a bunch of variants, but. Point being, bisexuals always seem to be portrayed as being free spirits for whom gender doesn't matter-- either in a slutty way or just in a really 'enlightened' way, and that sort of... annoys me, actually. Not least because in my own experience, at least, gender does matter in terms of attraction, even if you like -both-; there's still that intrinsic difference between both and either, right? (Though yes, I realize both are different types of bisexuality; it's just that I see one represented and not the other.)

I mean, sure, everyone knows it's rude and un-PC to perpetuate the bi-slut stereotype, but the whole 'uncommon wisdom' shtick can also seem oppressive, in a way, simply because it doesn't recognize that we -all- have the same kind of identity crises and self-questioning at some point. Yes, even straight white male quarterbackers in the Midwest can question themselves sometimes, I'm sure.

In other words, in fanfic and manga-- and even in general media-- I find that whenever bisexuals aren't -invisible-, they're... kind of dismissive and/or dismissed-- like, oh, they're bi, so that whole angst you-the-pov-character are having doesn't apply.

I mean, I can easily see a character having -more- confusion because wow, they're attracted to -both- and it's easy enough to have -no- clue what you want in that case. What if Harry was bi, and therefore liked -both- Ginny and Draco in 'that' way, for instance?

...I dunno. Maybe that was my rare sudden burst of bisexual angst or... something. :/

Comments

Re: Here via metafandom

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I don't think I meant to say that all bisexual characters are portrayed as mature & serene(?) in general about any personal issues they have, I meant that'd just be ridiculous-- I mean, here we have a lot of societal and personal issues piled on top of orientation confusion. I suppose you could say society is generally responsible for one's identity confusion in some sense, but this sort of forces the issue, you know? If you think of it this way (societal angst), then a lot of slash has this since it involves originally 'straight' characters who then have to deal with 'oh no, I've always liked women and like it that way but now my life has to change drastically'. That change-- when you like a person of the same gender suddenly relatively late in life-- or have pre-existing already formed moral strictures-- the angst is inevitable, I guess, if that makes sense.

I guess one's sense of sexual identity is always tied with one's social awareness and larger identity, and perhaps in the past moreso than these days, when people aren't pressured as much to conform (maybe, in the West). In a modern story, one sort of has a purer conception of what one's preferences are and what that might mean, though there's a popular preconception that bisexuality means not caring about gender, which was what I meant to say. What you described seems more like a journey of self-acceptance and other-acceptance rather than self-awareness and other-awareness, awareness of and attraction to the differences between sexes.

The 'could fall in love' sounds like he feels like he should. A true bisexual just... would, if that makes sense. Though I'm starting to think that this dual attraction is antithetical to shippy fic and there's just no way to fit it into a romantic story-- that is, unless the person's a player or a jerk.

I just wanted to a see a bisexual character that genuinely liked boys and girls not in a 'come one come all' way but a more selective fashion, which would solve the problem of thinking 'but maybe I should pick the other gender' eventually because one's approach to attraction is still individual just like with a straight or gay person. Like, you don't like 'all boys' if you're a gay man, but -that- boy, and it's the same with a bi person. Uh. Maybe I've just lost track of my point, if I had one, though :>

Re: Here via metafandom

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

I'm not a hundred percent sure that I know what you're getting at, in part (perhaps) because my own identity confusion has been more around the transgender kind of issue - I've always been certain about my sexual orientation, but am still hopelessly confused on my gender (if gender really does have a meaning beyond the body.)

But anyway...
The 'could fall in love' sounds like he feels like he should. A true bisexual just... would, if that makes sense.

Hm, in the case of this character he knows he could fall in love with a woman because he *did* fall in love with one. And in fact left his male lover in order to court her (because of societal pressures which do make him feel like this is the 'correct' thing to do). She didn't like him though, so now he's on the shelf again ;)

I suppose it is a case of late developing angst, because he's only just waking up to the thought that the fact that he's having an affair with his male best friend indicates that he's not actually as straight as he thinks. One of the problems is that he only has an 18th Century set of concepts to use while thinking this through - so there's no way at all he could think to himself 'I'm bisexual', the best he could possibly do would be 'I have sodomitical urges,' which - given that he's managed to remain in denial of the fact throughout an eight year relationship with a bloke, would be quite a step forward for him.

I'm starting to think that this dual attraction is antithetical to shippy fic and there's just no way to fit it into a romantic story

You could do it with an OT3 though.

Re: Here via metafandom

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I think the confusing thing is that it sounds like I'm demanding sexuality angst or something, which I'm not. In the end, it all does depend on context and what that particular character needs, and in my own context I tend to read modern-day stories with teenagers or twenty-something characters who tend to be very blase if they're bisexual but tend to angst at least somewhat if they're gay. That's really where I was coming from-- not that everyone has to angst and self-question, but every bi person being ridiculously well-adjusted and comfortable with themselves starts to feel a bit freaky, like are they even human? Or something. Maybe that's just me.

At the same time, I wasn't necessarily talking about one's level of adjustment, necessarily, so much as the concept that a character thinking that there's no difference in types of attraction to boys & girls was 'normal'. That's what I meant by 'enlightened'. You could be plenty well-adjusted and yet not like boys & girls absolutely equally and in the same ways. It's really a misnomer to say that any sort of imbalance there would be 'angst', it's just that it could easily be shown in fic through angst, that's all. The angst isn't the goal for me though, but rather the portrayal of the type of bisexual that person is, as in they like 'both' sexes rather than 'either'.

Generally though, I wouldn't read polyamorous or OT3-type fics just 'cause I'm a hardcore romantic in many ways. I just feel a bit too invested in the portrayal of bi characters, that's all :>