(...why no) woe?

[reenka]

You know, it just struck me that I've yet to find a fic or manga that has anything I could term 'bisexual angst'. I mean, there's 'omg, no, I'm gay and I like someone I could never have' angst and there's the regular old 'omg boys/girls drive me INSANE yet I like one, woe!' angst... well, there's a bunch of variants, but. Point being, bisexuals always seem to be portrayed as being free spirits for whom gender doesn't matter-- either in a slutty way or just in a really 'enlightened' way, and that sort of... annoys me, actually. Not least because in my own experience, at least, gender does matter in terms of attraction, even if you like -both-; there's still that intrinsic difference between both and either, right? (Though yes, I realize both are different types of bisexuality; it's just that I see one represented and not the other.)

I mean, sure, everyone knows it's rude and un-PC to perpetuate the bi-slut stereotype, but the whole 'uncommon wisdom' shtick can also seem oppressive, in a way, simply because it doesn't recognize that we -all- have the same kind of identity crises and self-questioning at some point. Yes, even straight white male quarterbackers in the Midwest can question themselves sometimes, I'm sure.

In other words, in fanfic and manga-- and even in general media-- I find that whenever bisexuals aren't -invisible-, they're... kind of dismissive and/or dismissed-- like, oh, they're bi, so that whole angst you-the-pov-character are having doesn't apply.

I mean, I can easily see a character having -more- confusion because wow, they're attracted to -both- and it's easy enough to have -no- clue what you want in that case. What if Harry was bi, and therefore liked -both- Ginny and Draco in 'that' way, for instance?

...I dunno. Maybe that was my rare sudden burst of bisexual angst or... something. :/

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I do realize they're both types of bisexual-- though maybe I should've been more thorough & stated that (uh, I'll edit)-- my point was that I see one but not the other type commonly portrayed, and as a representative of the 'other', non-enlightened type, I feel left out. :P Well, I mean, I'm 'enlightened', but. ^^;; *coughs*

Would it be different if I said Draco had feelings for both Harry and Pansy? It doesn't matter who it is, and you're really assuming Harry's stringing them along when he doesn't have to promise or say anything to either of them-- it's all about self-questioning, not acting out either way. You have to think more introvertedly, here~:)) Uh, well, to get what I'm usually getting at, anyway ^^;

As for being a fuckwit-- well, uh, I don't think it's -that- extreme as to be totally unlikeable, though in this instance with you, picking Harry as the example was obviously counterproductive. I think it's your basic love triangle where the person just doesn't know what/who they want-- and while I don't like either love triangle fics or Harry/Ginny/Draco angst in particular, it's a common trope lots of people do go for, which doesn't preclude eventual resolution by any means. I said angst, not tragedy and darkfic and hopelessness. 'Leading them on' is also based on the assumption that we're talking about two simultaneous relationships rather than simply being confused. People are confused without doing a thing about it all the time-- I know I am. Continuously. Story of my life, really.

I just wish every bisexual reference I saw wasn't all 'oh, he/she is bi so gender doesn't matter'. I'm sure that's true for some, but. You know. Not me... and even if I'm a freak, there should be some characters who're like me :P

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Would it be different if I said Draco had feelings for both Harry and Pansy?

No, because Draco's gayer than a tree full of pink monkeys on Nitrous oxide. HE JUST IS! But seriously, no, not really, because Pansy's a pretty sucktastic character as well. Haha, yes, I am being irrational and biased, but that's the way it works in ficland.

It doesn't matter who it is, and you're really assuming Harry's stringing them along when he doesn't have to promise or say anything to either of them-- it's all about self-questioning, not acting out either way. You have to think more introvertedly, here

"Introvertedly" or "Anal retentive navel-gazeringly"? Still, I think it's stupid, and reflective of someone who can't tell the difference between lust and love. And "being confused" suggests some kind of right outcome whereas you're suggesting that it could go either way and still be correct sexual-orientation-wise.

I just wish every bisexual reference I saw wasn't all 'oh, he/she is bi so gender doesn't matter'. I'm sure that's true for some, but. You know. Not me... and even if I'm a freak, there should be some characters who're like me :P

There are some like you, they're jujst freaks and therefore rarer & harder to find. :P

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, I guess I was trying to avoid the specific associations that come with examples (...this is why I usually avoid examples), but people seem to -want- examples, but see.... Uh. ^^;;

Okay, honestly, I don't know -how- rare my own attitude is-- I haven't polled that many bi people. It seems natural to like different sexes -because- they're different and those differences are -exciting- and -yummy-. I like boobs in girls and cocks in guys-- it's not like 'wow, I didn't even notice'-- I definitely notice, it -matters-. Like, also re: the Kinsey scale-- people have different degrees of attraction, it's not like everyone who's bisexual is a perfect 5.

So... I think the confusion is like any other triangle-- in the end, something tips it, usually, but it's only the most stereotypical ones where it's just friendship-love vs. sexual-love. There are more subtle things at work that make you want one person but not another sometimes, too. And sometimes you can't help it and like more than one person (it happens!) and circumstances or the other people decide for you.

I don't think it -has- to be extreme navel-gazing just to question your feelings and orientation and so on just because you're bi rather than gay. For me, being bi was really confusing since I couldn't figure out -what- I was for the longest time. It's not something that took a lot of thinking and angsting to arrive at-- the source of confusion reasserted itself every time I was like, 'ooh, pretty girl' and then turned around and went 'oooh, pretty boy!!'. And nothing in the culture around me prepared me to believe that happened to people-- there was only gay or straight in my experience, anyway. So I was pretty confused without having to think too hard. Though far be it from to deny being a freak ^^;

Sorry, lj didn't email me this one.

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

I like boobs in girls and cocks in guys-- it's not like 'wow, I didn't even notice'-- I definitely notice, it -matters-.

Well, yeah, it always matters, because it's part of the person you're attracted to. But you can be attracted to other things first before sex-specific characteristics.

So I was pretty confused without having to think too hard.

That's a first XD *hugs you*

lj != love :O

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I know people -can- be attracted to other things first (not like I look at the boobs first anyway-- well, most of the time... er...), it's just that my point was that's the prevailing conceptions of most bi characters that I've seen-- that it's about seeing the other person as 'just a person'. And, I mean, on one level that's true in my experience, but on another level I'm just attracted to different things in guys & girls (aside from something like intelligence or humor which I don't like in a sexual way... most of the time).

...All right, possibly I thought too hard... possibly... Hee. ♥