reenka: (harry has angst. heroic angst.)
[personal profile] reenka
Escapism: I want this to be true, therefore I'll pretend it is for a while, and feel really good before I have to return to the real world. The real world may not be preferrable to my fantasy, but there's no escaping the difference between truth and... that stuff you made up.

Denial: I want this to be true, therefore it is, and I shall now go on and conduct my life with the presumption that it's true. Because it makes me feel better, and also because I am god. I said so, after all.



Why people don't seem to understand the difference between these two modes, I shall never want to really understand.

Another thing I'll be in denial about is why people know they're biased and yet cling to their bias without bothering to challenge it within themselves.

I sort of hate the world sometimes. And by 'world' I really mean that I prefer the horrid, stifling sensation of near-100% humidity and a lack of a fan anywhere in range to the feeling I get trying to understand how some people think.

And it's not even enough for me to bitch and say 'people are stupid'. That doesn't cover it, somehow, because people appear to choose by willfully denying (not just avoiding! not just escaping!) certain facts of life. I dunno.

I think I'm just doomed to spend lots of time beating my head against a metaphorical wall. I mean, I'd find a real wall, but there's too much porn to read, so I get distracted.

And no, this isn't even about fandom. Just. There's so much I love about people, and yet. Ahhh, they hurt my brain....

Date: 2005-07-29 08:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blacksatinrose.livejournal.com
I sort of hate the world sometimes. And by 'world' I really mean that I prefer the horrid, stifling sensation of near-100% humidity and a lack of a fan anywhere in range to the feeling I get trying to understand how some people think.

See icon.

Date: 2005-07-29 08:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I knew you'd feel me on this :D
It's like, I'm -so- bitter and frustrated, sometimes I really do think I hate people (well, all the ones I don't specifically like). And then I try to remember about sunshine & kittens & like... gay sex :))

Date: 2005-07-29 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blacksatinrose.livejournal.com
Well, I'm not going to discourage the idea of hating all the people you don't specifically like AS THAT WOULD BE HYPOCRITICAL. ;)

Nevermind sunshine and kittens and gay sex. :P

Date: 2005-07-29 09:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I tend to actually -ignore- most people I don't actively like, 'cause the hate is just too much... er... of a mental strain. 'Cause then I'm like, BUT I DON'T WANNA BE UNDULY BIASED and then I'm like BUT THEY'RE IDIOTS and then it's like, BUT WHAT IF THEY'RE KIND TO PUPPIES??!



I'm easy to please, though. If I can't have kittens, there's always chai tea with foamy milk and honey... mmmm... :D Everything is better with some sugar in there somewhere :>

Date: 2005-07-29 09:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blacksatinrose.livejournal.com
I can't ignore them because they keep talking to me.

(AHAHA ever notices tha tI talk about people as though they're some sort of parasite or virus?)

And being nice to puppies does NOT make up for being a total idiot.

I agree about the sugar though! TOO BAD I HAVE NONE.

Date: 2005-07-29 09:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I suspect I am worse than you 'cause lately I've been willingly walking into the lion's den, also known as journals of people I don't trust to be sane :> And then sometimes sane people I like talk freely with delusional poeople & find a common language, and I stare and try to follow, but -can't-. It's... scary, in a way.

(People's ideas -are- a virus!! That's really what it is! I feel pretty infected if I don't purge myself!! That's why I -have- this lj these days, ahahah. Though I always wanna give people the benefit of the doubt, otherwise I fear I shall start believing things I wanna be true, at which point you could just shoot me.)

...I've been eating lots of almonds in lieu of sugar, though that's not really the same -.-;

Date: 2005-07-29 09:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blacksatinrose.livejournal.com
I suspect I am worse than you 'cause lately I've been willingly walking into the lion's den, also known as journals of people I don't trust to be sane :>

Reena, I hang around Brian/Michael communities. You're not worse than I am.

And no, I mean the people themselves are a virus. I REALLY hate people. LMAO!

But I give people the benefit of the doubt, too. Just because otherwise one is giving in to their own biases which is, you know, sucky. LMAO

... how the HELL do almonds stand in for sugar? OMG REENA INSANE.

Date: 2005-07-29 09:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
See, see, I know I'm insane, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW >:D Clearly, that means I'm much superior :)) Well, starch can sometimes fill me up when sugar's not around to make me high :> But really, those two things were not related, except I really wanted sugar but the almonds were -there- y'know. In -quantity- :> I take what I can get! :>

And what really scares me is when these biased people are actually a lot more rational/linear in their thinking, so they -should- be able to be like, OMG WHAT AM I SAYING, I'M ACCEPTING THIS HUGE BIAS AS IF I CAN EVER TRUST MY OWN JUDGMENT ON THIS TOPIC AGAIN!!1 (That is, everyone has biases, but if you at least don't accept them wholesale, maaaybe you can work around them...)

...You know, you'd be pretty scary if you were evil :))

Date: 2005-07-29 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blacksatinrose.livejournal.com
Well, just not being a blatant asswipe with cow dung for brains makes you superior to most people anyway. :p

But yeah, sometimes people who are theoretically rational are 1) not, really and 2) cursed by their rationality in that it allows them to, well, rationalize. Know what I mean?

(That is, everyone has biases, but if you at least don't accept them wholesale, maaaybe you can work around them...)

You'd think people would get that.

But I think some people just literally don't care that they're biased. And by "some people" I mean "most people." I've known people to celebrate their biases. I don't get it, but then I'm me so I wouldn't.

...You know, you'd be pretty scary if you were evil :))

Heh. I've been told I'm pretty scary now, actually.

And who says I'm not evil? :p

Date: 2005-07-29 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
What really boggles me is when 'rational' people turn around and blithely say things like, 'but I hate this idea/person/character, therefore I will keep my opinion as is'. -.- WHY -.-

See, there's this difference between bias as in, 'I really love fluffy kittens, and would go out of my way to pet them-- I'd go to Germany to pet them!' or 'I am obsessed with C++ and will therefore concentrate on it 80% of the time I'm awake and not wash, because who cares about washing' and... that thing where you engage in faulty rather than just non-reasoning. Or something.

I can see celebrating biases as in, you like chocolate & I like strawberry. But it's just not the same when you add 'therefore I am right and you're wrong', or something. That's going beyond loving your bias and into... becomin the sex-slave of your bias, letting it slap you around and call you Willy. :>

And yeah, I don't get not caring if you're delusional just because the world makes sense to you already, so who cares? Argh. Like this person who seemed to think it made life -simpler- to ignore Sirius was dead in canon o_0 Why o_0 I DO NOT KNOW. o_0 WHY :(( (I think 'don't ask why' is the major operative here. Like, why think too hard? YOU JUST THOUGHT FIVE YEARS AGO, IT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.)

Heheh, you're just harsh, not evil. Evil people are delusional & self-righteous :D That would probably be too illogical for you :))

Date: 2005-07-29 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blacksatinrose.livejournal.com
DUDE I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S WHY I HATE PEOPLE. THEY MAKE ME CRAZY WITH THEIR OMGWTF MINDS.

I can see celebrating biases as in, you like chocolate & I like strawberry. But it's just not the same when you add 'therefore I am right and you're wrong', or something.

Yeah, see that's not a bias, that's a preference. If, on the other hand, I were to start from the assumption that chocolate is superior to strawberry (because I like it better!) and base all my reasoning on 1) my need to justify my preference as objective fact and 2) the assumption that it already is objective fact then that's FUCKED.

And yeah I'm harsh. Well, I'm tired so uh, all my normal softness has bled away.

Evil people are delusional & self-righteous :D That would probably be too illogical for you :))

You said it, yo.

Date: 2005-07-29 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notrafficlights.livejournal.com
the feeling I get trying to understand how some people think.

You're too optimistic sweetheart. You need to get some negativity flowing. It helps a lot when trying to understand humans.

Date: 2005-07-29 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Ahhhh THE TEMPTATION OF THE DEVIL!!1 :))
Yeah, I do think my big problem is being like 'but IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD'... and then it IS :)) and I'm like WHY. And there IS NO ANSWER :))

...insert hasty thoughts about kittens & gay sex :>

Date: 2005-07-29 09:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notrafficlights.livejournal.com
< insert agreement about thoughts involving kittens and gay sex... >

It's ALWAYS that bad. And just when you think it can't get any WORSE someone invents a new way of making things MUCH MUCH WORSE. Humans are wonderfully creative like that.

< insert comments about Harry and Draco as cute widdle kittens rolling about in a basket to make you feel better again >

Date: 2005-07-29 09:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
...You're just playing with my emotions, aren't you!!1 >:O
*plays along, cooing at ferret!Draco & kitten!Harry & ensuing interspecies mpreg babiez* :D :D :D

See, I can't really blame people 'cause mostly they're not doing it to -me- but rather to -themselves-. It's just trying to empathise & understand that I run up againt, 'omg our brains are like, WIRED DIFFERENTLY' or something. I am not meant to grok the ways of the intensely delusional, I fear :>

Date: 2005-07-29 09:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notrafficlights.livejournal.com
ensuing interspecies mpreg babiez

That's just... kind of terrifying.

See, I can't really blame people 'cause mostly they're not doing it to -me- but rather to -themselves-.

... Even if that's true, they're still stupid. Stupidity is the entire basis of human existence, and the reason we'll never make real AI. Because we can make artificial intelligence, we just can't make artificial stupidity.

Date: 2005-07-29 09:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
HAHAH OMG I LOVE BEING TERRIFYING :D Me and my ferretkitten smex >:D :D Soon I'll be writing Hagrid/Squid and it'll all be over (...you know, I bet Hagrid is almost big enough for the Squid... er.... okay, moving on...)

But yeah. Hahaha what really depresses me is when the stupid person sounds halfway intelligent (ie, can make semisane points, can type, can hold-- rather stupid but almost reasonable if they weren't OMG SO BIASED-- opinions). It's sort of like... there's some other factor, besides sheer intelligence. I dunno -what-, though. :/

Date: 2005-07-29 09:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notrafficlights.livejournal.com
Well, stupidity is the inability to think, sort of to join up the dots. Not necessarily the inability to take in information. Which is how people like conservatives and creationists and crazy canon het-shippers come about. They can take in information, but they have problems joining the dots in the big picture. My uncle's like that. Really good at taking in information but hopelessly stupid (oh, and, er, massive little-man-complex and overblown ego to match).

Date: 2005-07-29 10:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Ooh, yeah-- you're right! :D This makes me wonder if the H/Hr-is-canon-JKR people were actually just stupid (not delusional). Their main error is that thing where you make logical leaps and justify them with... uh... personal preference... or just wank. -.- Therefore conservative creationist crazy canon het-shippers are born :>

'Course, there's no totally obvious 'truth' when it comes to really complex judgments of information & facts, I think, but you could at least make sure you're not saying things which make no sense.... But this is probably too much to ask...

Date: 2005-07-29 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malafede.livejournal.com
And yet denial is a v. important survival skill of the human animal!

Date: 2005-07-29 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Only works in the short-term. Longterm, if you're gonna deny the tiger's after you the tiger's gonna be pretty happy soon :>

Date: 2005-07-30 03:08 am (UTC)
ext_6866: (Wha...?)
From: [identity profile] sistermagpie.livejournal.com
This is going to sound like a weird response but...why do I now feel like it's a shame you couldn't have been at dinner with my mother last night. Two minutes of listening to her talk about canon is like opening a window in that stuffy room. As Luna is to Quidditch commentary, Joan is to HP meta.

Date: 2005-07-30 03:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Hee! You must take after your mother then :>
And-- this does remind me!
I'm in NYC, if you wanna meet up (there's also [livejournal.com profile] addictedkitten, she's pretty into the new caonn) and... er, talk about Draco & stuff :)

*hugs* :D
*is sorry for drama*

Date: 2005-07-30 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nothingbutfic.livejournal.com
Did you delete your LJ briefly? I think I saw that you did and I was worried!!

*clings*

Date: 2005-07-30 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Meep! Yeah-- I deleted it in a sick-of-fandom-and-I-don't-wanna-be-part-of-the-problem sort of way, but then it was causing drama (and also my friends worrying about me... er... forgot about that) so I undeleted :>

*hugs*

Date: 2005-07-30 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nothingbutfic.livejournal.com
Yay for undeleted.
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