~~ martyr!Remus, grr, argh.
Nov. 15th, 2004 01:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaI've only been reading S/R fic intensely for less than a week, and I already have a #1 pet peeve, ahahah. It's not at the must-strangle-someone stage yet by far, but it's... present.
What weirds me out is that there's this trend where fics keep making it that Remus is with Sirius as some sort of favor, because really, Remus knows better and Sirius is such a bastard (...and someone has to mention that at least once-- often Sirius himself). It's like, I wonder why Remus is friends with Sirius, if he really judges him so harshly-- or it really such a huge jump to respect someone enough to be their lover rather than their friend...?
It's like, even when I love a fic, I realize that the Remus cannot realistically be that above it all. Sometimes it's even felt like the whole fic, Sirius basically spent his time apologizing to Remus for who he is (with Remus forgiving him out of his innate-- well, I don't know! hard to tell), and that seems even more dysfunctional than the assholish behavior does. There seems to be a game of 'spot the bastard' going on, and The Bastard is pretty much Sirius. And it's not like with Snapefics, where the assholish behavior is part of the appeal for his partner-- no, Remus doesn't actually enjoy it. At all.
No, Remus is actually kind of... Oppressed, you see. By Sirius' assholish not-really-charming-thank-you behavior. But he tolerates it because... because.....
See, here's where I get stuck. A lot of fics focus on Sirius boycrushing on Remus and finally realizing that, and it's all intense and everything-- and Remus wants him back, right. But it's not a question of Remus -falling- for Sirius-- or realizing he fancies him back. No, Remus holds back. Remus... basically, Remus doesn't trust Sirius with his heart.
Man. I know I've said the trust issues with this pairing interest me, but. It seems like the holding-back thing is some kind of moral judgment on Sirius, which really bugs me, for it reminds me of Harry's attitude towards Draco in fics, and dude, that's what I was trying to get away from. I mean, the main reason it bugs me so much is that there's no canon reason for it that I can see-- I mean, I can't really see evidence for Remus being the grudge-bearing type-- that's more Sirius' thing, dude.
Moreover, it seems like a nasty case of projection on the writers' part-- like, it's clear favoritism with Remus-- who apparently has little to no real offensive qualities, and is actually a long-suffering martyr. And I don't hate martyr!Harry as much 'cause well, at least that's canon. But. Remus doesn't have to be. So... wah. I thought the point of S/R was that Sirius could get Remus to loosen up-- let go of his reservations and feel. And if Remus spends the whole time basically making Sirius feel sorry about being himself (as far as Sirius is capable of)-- well-- that makes me feel like they're bad for each other. Which kind of... seems to be missing the point, no?
What weirds me out is that there's this trend where fics keep making it that Remus is with Sirius as some sort of favor, because really, Remus knows better and Sirius is such a bastard (...and someone has to mention that at least once-- often Sirius himself). It's like, I wonder why Remus is friends with Sirius, if he really judges him so harshly-- or it really such a huge jump to respect someone enough to be their lover rather than their friend...?
It's like, even when I love a fic, I realize that the Remus cannot realistically be that above it all. Sometimes it's even felt like the whole fic, Sirius basically spent his time apologizing to Remus for who he is (with Remus forgiving him out of his innate-- well, I don't know! hard to tell), and that seems even more dysfunctional than the assholish behavior does. There seems to be a game of 'spot the bastard' going on, and The Bastard is pretty much Sirius. And it's not like with Snapefics, where the assholish behavior is part of the appeal for his partner-- no, Remus doesn't actually enjoy it. At all.
No, Remus is actually kind of... Oppressed, you see. By Sirius' assholish not-really-charming-thank-you behavior. But he tolerates it because... because.....
See, here's where I get stuck. A lot of fics focus on Sirius boycrushing on Remus and finally realizing that, and it's all intense and everything-- and Remus wants him back, right. But it's not a question of Remus -falling- for Sirius-- or realizing he fancies him back. No, Remus holds back. Remus... basically, Remus doesn't trust Sirius with his heart.
Man. I know I've said the trust issues with this pairing interest me, but. It seems like the holding-back thing is some kind of moral judgment on Sirius, which really bugs me, for it reminds me of Harry's attitude towards Draco in fics, and dude, that's what I was trying to get away from. I mean, the main reason it bugs me so much is that there's no canon reason for it that I can see-- I mean, I can't really see evidence for Remus being the grudge-bearing type-- that's more Sirius' thing, dude.
Moreover, it seems like a nasty case of projection on the writers' part-- like, it's clear favoritism with Remus-- who apparently has little to no real offensive qualities, and is actually a long-suffering martyr. And I don't hate martyr!Harry as much 'cause well, at least that's canon. But. Remus doesn't have to be. So... wah. I thought the point of S/R was that Sirius could get Remus to loosen up-- let go of his reservations and feel. And if Remus spends the whole time basically making Sirius feel sorry about being himself (as far as Sirius is capable of)-- well-- that makes me feel like they're bad for each other. Which kind of... seems to be missing the point, no?
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Re: spam
Date: 2004-11-15 11:51 am (UTC)Sst called, he wants his self-esteem back.
Re: spam
Date: 2004-11-15 12:04 pm (UTC)I do actually think everyone is good for someone-- that is, even Lucius is probably good for someone-- maybe-- well, no. Some people are just so messed up they need mucho therapy before they should be allowed into relationships. Hahah hey I'm not being judgmental if I include me in this, right.
Anyway, I still think Draco's good for Harry, so it's all good :>
Tell SST that SG is holding it ransom ;)
Re: spam
Date: 2004-11-15 12:31 pm (UTC)I was thinking that this whole problem you are having with Remus, I have it with Harry and this whole dogma that you have to fix Draco to make him a deign to lick his feet. Harry is, after all, a canon martyr.
Re: spam
Date: 2004-11-15 01:04 pm (UTC)Man. Maybe I'm just harder to cohabitate with than most of humanity.... But I'm telling you right now, I can't stand most people under any conditions -.- There is no condition that's good enough with 80% of everyone I know. I just want them away. FAR. FAR. AWAY. :>
That said.
Perhaps people who're not quite as... er... allergic to humanity as I would see it differently. However, I do think that some people/characters are just more limited than others. Like, I think Remus is more limited than Sirius. And oh man... some people are just... well... abusive/insane/violent-- and when I said 'they need therapy' I meant they'd need to change their 'conditions', heh.
Anyway, I thought the argument against N_A!S/R was that it was a hugely dysfunctional relationship-- not that it was boring/not interesting enough. My mistake. Anyway, that was what SM said, I thought.
Eh, I stopped reading H/D partly for that reason-- because I grew sick of thinking about Draco from Harry's pov. It still makes me nauseous to go there. Anyway, I don't know what you mean by 'dogma'. Do you think it's IC? It feels IC to me. Which is what separates it from S/R, for which it's OOC. But with Harry... meh. I'm tired of darkfic, tired of Harry's issues, tired of how little Draco could do. That's just me though... and anyway, most people don't write H/D like that... I think...?
Re: spam
Date: 2004-11-16 02:41 am (UTC)Abusive/insane/violent people are my kind of people. I'm not sure I want to write about someone who doesn't have that kind of impulses. This is very personal though - if that wasn't clear. :)
Re: spam
Date: 2004-11-16 12:05 pm (UTC)Also-- while insane/violent people are interesting, we weren't talking about you writing about them-- I was referring specifically to N_A. On top of that, you were saying Sirius should have left Remus-- meaning it's not just your preference, but it would be better for Sirius-- or at least that's how I took it. And while that's a perfectly legitimate preference, it's still not an argument one could use against Remus. Who is, besides everything else, also rather violent and probably verging on insane at times, more repressed than Sirius but that just makes it more dangerous.
Eh. Basically, I was just talking about N_A.