~~ martyr!Remus, grr, argh.

[reenka]

I've only been reading S/R fic intensely for less than a week, and I already have a #1 pet peeve, ahahah. It's not at the must-strangle-someone stage yet by far, but it's... present.

What weirds me out is that there's this trend where fics keep making it that Remus is with Sirius as some sort of favor, because really, Remus knows better and Sirius is such a bastard (...and someone has to mention that at least once-- often Sirius himself). It's like, I wonder why Remus is friends with Sirius, if he really judges him so harshly-- or it really such a huge jump to respect someone enough to be their lover rather than their friend...?

It's like, even when I love a fic, I realize that the Remus cannot realistically be that above it all. Sometimes it's even felt like the whole fic, Sirius basically spent his time apologizing to Remus for who he is (with Remus forgiving him out of his innate-- well, I don't know! hard to tell), and that seems even more dysfunctional than the assholish behavior does. There seems to be a game of 'spot the bastard' going on, and The Bastard is pretty much Sirius. And it's not like with Snapefics, where the assholish behavior is part of the appeal for his partner-- no, Remus doesn't actually enjoy it. At all.

No, Remus is actually kind of... Oppressed, you see. By Sirius' assholish not-really-charming-thank-you behavior. But he tolerates it because... because.....
    See, here's where I get stuck. A lot of fics focus on Sirius boycrushing on Remus and finally realizing that, and it's all intense and everything-- and Remus wants him back, right. But it's not a question of Remus -falling- for Sirius-- or realizing he fancies him back. No, Remus holds back. Remus... basically, Remus doesn't trust Sirius with his heart.

Man. I know I've said the trust issues with this pairing interest me, but. It seems like the holding-back thing is some kind of moral judgment on Sirius, which really bugs me, for it reminds me of Harry's attitude towards Draco in fics, and dude, that's what I was trying to get away from. I mean, the main reason it bugs me so much is that there's no canon reason for it that I can see-- I mean, I can't really see evidence for Remus being the grudge-bearing type-- that's more Sirius' thing, dude.

Moreover, it seems like a nasty case of projection on the writers' part-- like, it's clear favoritism with Remus-- who apparently has little to no real offensive qualities, and is actually a long-suffering martyr. And I don't hate martyr!Harry as much 'cause well, at least that's canon. But. Remus doesn't have to be. So... wah. I thought the point of S/R was that Sirius could get Remus to loosen up-- let go of his reservations and feel. And if Remus spends the whole time basically making Sirius feel sorry about being himself (as far as Sirius is capable of)-- well-- that makes me feel like they're bad for each other. Which kind of... seems to be missing the point, no?

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hahah but that wasn't Ideas Why It Doesn't Work, dude. :> That'd be like saying "I hate those stupid Veela!Draco fics" is evidence for why H/D doesn't work :> It's just there's a lot of messed up characterization out there, but that doesn't mean there's no good stuff~:) And even if all the fics sucked (which they don't), it -still- wouldn't mean the pairing sucks-- it'd just mean they're all wrong and I'm right :))

All pairings are bound to have wacked fics for it, especially when they're as huge as the S/R fandom is.
I think I've just read a good amount of S/R in a really short period of time, and remember, I've been reading it (slowly) for a long time now. Maybe I'll cut-tag any future Sirius&Remus meta for your sake :D

I'm glad you liked them! Read more librae, imochan & yeats! Oh, well, `Five Ways to Open Your Arms (http://www.livejournal.com/users/imochan/230334.html)' & `Compromises (http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeats/96232.html)', `Coordinates, Too (http://www.livejournal.com/users/librae/16935.html#cutid1)' & `Postscript (http://www.livejournal.com/users/yeats/90829.html)'-- they're all rather short :> :>

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

YOU CANNOT REC librae WITHOUT RECCING Anastasia and Spinning Jenny (http://www.livejournal.com/users/librae/15908.html)! It isn't short, but it is the best fanfic ever written in the history of fanfic!

Err, which is to say, my personal favorite. ;)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Depressing, man :> I was trying to ease her in ;))
That is a gorgeous fic, though. Ahhhh, the noble & illustrious House of Black at last >:D
ack. it makes me squirm in some sort of empathetic embarrassment/discomfort just to remember it :( Man, yeah. See, it should all be like that, except a bit happier & possibly longer >:D No, I kid, I liked the ending a lot too~:)

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

I need help with closing my tags.

ANYWHO, yeah, um... the funny thing is, I don't find that fic depressing at all. I mean, at all. Actually I think it's one of the more realistically optimistic fics I've read.

But this is what I meant about how I'm anti-romance, I guess. Because if it were happier I wouldn't like it as much. :P

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't mean it was -romantically- depressing-- actually, I dunno if romance was the focus, though it was there-- I mean, the relationship between Sirius & Remus was there, but not the focus either. It was more about Sirius and his family, I thought, and -that- was the depressing part-- his relationship with Remus was great! Made me happy :D And yes, felt realistically optimistic, which I love. It's just, I feel bad for Sirius since this whole thing fucked him up & he never really got away from it all (the legacy of his parents), in the end.

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

Oooh, is that what you mean!

Hmm, I personally read it as about split. Which is to say, it was about Sirius and his family, but also about the particular dynamic between Remus and Sirius - Remus lets Sirius lead him and push him into things, but also influences Sirius in his realizations. (I am totally trying not to say too much and failing.)

Which, I think, is why I love it much. Aside from the gorgeous writing because she is a goddess. But because it's not about ONE thing, it's about two and how each affects the other, which is way more complex than most stuff I've come across.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I should totally reread it~:) Mostly because I -could-, since there's definitely enough stuff in there, though I never tend to reread anything :>
But yes, I know there are these different threads... but like, I guess it wouldn't occur to me to be depressed about the Sirius/Remus bit, since they just play off each other so well-- and I didn't think about it in-depth enough to realize that yes, this does fit a larger pattern for them, doesn't it. It just felt so -natural- and -right- that... like, of course this was how it was. But the whole thing felt so effortless-- that is, it seemed more like Remus was biding his time as much as following until he reached his breaking point-- that it seemed not quite like a leader/follower thing. So yes, the two-way thing. Yes! :D Muh. Makes me happy :D

I guess it's sort of underlyingly sad because really... what a messed up life. But that's S/R in general for you, I suppose :>