(no subject)

Hello, this is a fandom lj and I sort of... want to bite large pieces off HP fandom's head (were it to have any) at the moment, sooo...

It's meme-time! Blame Aja.

( ...long-ass boring personal survey meme, yeay! )

~~ the anti-harmony manifesto

I was reading some meta on FMA & Roy/Ed, and how they're so great together (even if not canon) 'cause of the conflict between them... And since I dearly love generalizing when it comes to myself (haha, I can get away with it! it's great!), I thought that the one thing all the pairings I've ever liked have in common is conflict.

    Like, there needs to be some deep, nearly overwhelming sort of... obstacle between two people, in terms of understanding or relating to each other. Not that 'ordinary' people don't have huge obstacles in understanding anyway (oh boy), but it's just more... interesting when it's all dramatic and underscored and... obvious, because then you can make an exciting story just out of personal interaction. Opposites attract, but even if they don't, they chafe a lot. And I like to watch people annoy and frustrate each other, clearly. It's just great if I'm not involved and neither are any (il)logical arguments :D

Also, I only like this conflict stuff if I actually believe these two people are really suited; not like they're just really different (because, who cares), but rather they push each other's buttons for a deeper reason-- like, the thing they really don't get or appreciate in the other person is somehow tied to a major overall snag in their worldview, like a neatness-obsessed person who's forced into interaction with a messy devil-may-care person-- the reason this pairing works for me is because it's about more than just this person that happens to frustrate them to both people.
    It's like... all about catalysts. Meeting a person that really affects you and changes how you look at yourself and the world, because they just highlight something that has always gotten to you or inspired you or frustrated you, and then nothing goes smoothly and you can't ignore it-- can't look away. Love that's like a car-crash-- violent and inevitable and painful and often seemingly random. But it's never what you thought it would be, regardless. It's an accident of fate that shows who you really are because it challenges you.

It's about what we hope for, really, moreso than about what we already have. I think our hopes and most secret dreams and needs are the things that define us on the deepest level. And sometimes (a lot of times) one can't see oneself without the distorted, twisted mirror of another person. So really, when we battle with those things we don't understand, we're really battling with ourselves, since we're all our own worst enemies. It's really about the lifelong struggle to learn to live with one's own worst and most central flaws (highlighted in conflict with the other), and further, to be loved for one's flaws as much or more than for one's strengths.

Ideally... I love pairings of people who're both defensive and defenseless around each other. They try to fight, but they only wound themselves. They try to escape each other, but they are tied to the issues they have within themselves. Eventually, they can heal each other by facing the worst each of them has and emerging out the other side, willing to love in spite of everything they now know, and they both know too much. And finally, finally-- their love is such that this is their strength.

( I just can't stop. )