~~ Join Us! The starving elite!
Mar. 11th, 2004 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaI'm having an interesting moral dilemma recently that I can't seem to crack by myself.
I found a site, Juxtaposefantasy.net, which is basically decent original slash fiction in several different fantasy-type universes-- as a paid, subscription service. $9.99 a month, no less. The writer updates one of the story universes once a week, etc etc.
My first reaction to this was horror-- paying for slash?? Please! Who does she think she is?! ...That was also my second and third reaction.
And then I read some of the teaser chapters, and was hooked. I'm a sucker for suspense things-- which is why I try to avoid suspense fiction and don't mind spoilers. I don't -seek out- spoilers, but I'm one of those people who hates that awful itch of having to know that seems to please most people. It just... bothers me. I know most people get off on it... and I do like the small adrenaline rush, I guess. But I'm too prone to compulsive, addictive behaviors already, I think, and suspense fics just make it too much for me to take and I overload. I realize most well-written fic is in the suspense category if it's a WIP, come to think of it, so I've been reading almost exclusively that for awhile now. Hmm. Maybe it's worse if the actual content is a thriller also. Er... but that's a complete tangent.
Anyway, I paid the money, but now I feel horribly dirty and uncomfortable with myself. It raises all sorts of awkward questions, this discomfort.
So why is my instinctive response that this self-publishing is somehow "bad"? How is self-publishing on the net "bad"? Why am I so instinctively drawn to mainstream publishing, considering that it rips off artists and doesn't exactly reward quality? Isn't what this writer is doing what most of us would want to do, that is, writing what she loves and getting both an interactive, vocal readership and a means to support herself meanwhile?
Well, first of all, I think the price is a complete rip-off. Second of all, she's just... not -that- good. And I realize that sounds kind of elitist or whatever, but I do have this old-fashioned feeling (completely out of touch with reality as it is) that you should be brilliant to get to be published. You should be -better- than the rest of us somehow. And this person doesn't even seem to have a beta who'd catch some basic grammar errors. So there's that.
This elitist thing is why people say "I'm a published author" while puffing out their chest and looking down their noses, right? Even though... well... most "published authors" suck in a bad way, and "best-sellers" are usually so far from "literature" as to be from another literary planet altogether. A part of me also thinks that as difficult as it would be to write oodles of fic while having a full-time non-writing job, that's just one of the trials of being a writer.
You're -supposed- to starve, stay up all night writing while you slave away at the McFast-Food-Joint all day and/or try to finish grad school or whatever, have no social life, and shut yourself into a small room with only coffee and/or Mountain Dew for company. That's how it works, isn't it? That's the glory of it, isn't it? Then, at the end, the truly great (and high-stamina) among us will cross the finish-line as True Writers, and all the famous publishing houses will take one look at the final manuscript and swoon. Just-- swoon away; either that, or thus begins the equally arduous process of sending in the damn thing to everyone and their brother until -someone-, someday, takes pity on you. That being another Test Of Your Glory And Dedication To The Cause. And/or you get your big break having your most throw-away, casually written fic published in Amazing Stories (okay, now I'm stuck in the 40s, but whatever).
That's how I want it to be, even if it's clearly just a pipe-dream.
So. Do you guys think it's a rip-off? Would you do this if you could? Would you then charge by the year instead of by the month? Would you just not charge as much? I'm really stumped, and also curious.
...I suppose all this goes a ways to explain why I still haven't even attempted to be published, huh :> Besides the whole "my original fic is (generally unfinished) crap" thing -.-
I found a site, Juxtaposefantasy.net, which is basically decent original slash fiction in several different fantasy-type universes-- as a paid, subscription service. $9.99 a month, no less. The writer updates one of the story universes once a week, etc etc.
My first reaction to this was horror-- paying for slash?? Please! Who does she think she is?! ...That was also my second and third reaction.
And then I read some of the teaser chapters, and was hooked. I'm a sucker for suspense things-- which is why I try to avoid suspense fiction and don't mind spoilers. I don't -seek out- spoilers, but I'm one of those people who hates that awful itch of having to know that seems to please most people. It just... bothers me. I know most people get off on it... and I do like the small adrenaline rush, I guess. But I'm too prone to compulsive, addictive behaviors already, I think, and suspense fics just make it too much for me to take and I overload. I realize most well-written fic is in the suspense category if it's a WIP, come to think of it, so I've been reading almost exclusively that for awhile now. Hmm. Maybe it's worse if the actual content is a thriller also. Er... but that's a complete tangent.
Anyway, I paid the money, but now I feel horribly dirty and uncomfortable with myself. It raises all sorts of awkward questions, this discomfort.
So why is my instinctive response that this self-publishing is somehow "bad"? How is self-publishing on the net "bad"? Why am I so instinctively drawn to mainstream publishing, considering that it rips off artists and doesn't exactly reward quality? Isn't what this writer is doing what most of us would want to do, that is, writing what she loves and getting both an interactive, vocal readership and a means to support herself meanwhile?
Well, first of all, I think the price is a complete rip-off. Second of all, she's just... not -that- good. And I realize that sounds kind of elitist or whatever, but I do have this old-fashioned feeling (completely out of touch with reality as it is) that you should be brilliant to get to be published. You should be -better- than the rest of us somehow. And this person doesn't even seem to have a beta who'd catch some basic grammar errors. So there's that.
This elitist thing is why people say "I'm a published author" while puffing out their chest and looking down their noses, right? Even though... well... most "published authors" suck in a bad way, and "best-sellers" are usually so far from "literature" as to be from another literary planet altogether. A part of me also thinks that as difficult as it would be to write oodles of fic while having a full-time non-writing job, that's just one of the trials of being a writer.
You're -supposed- to starve, stay up all night writing while you slave away at the McFast-Food-Joint all day and/or try to finish grad school or whatever, have no social life, and shut yourself into a small room with only coffee and/or Mountain Dew for company. That's how it works, isn't it? That's the glory of it, isn't it? Then, at the end, the truly great (and high-stamina) among us will cross the finish-line as True Writers, and all the famous publishing houses will take one look at the final manuscript and swoon. Just-- swoon away; either that, or thus begins the equally arduous process of sending in the damn thing to everyone and their brother until -someone-, someday, takes pity on you. That being another Test Of Your Glory And Dedication To The Cause. And/or you get your big break having your most throw-away, casually written fic published in Amazing Stories (okay, now I'm stuck in the 40s, but whatever).
That's how I want it to be, even if it's clearly just a pipe-dream.
So. Do you guys think it's a rip-off? Would you do this if you could? Would you then charge by the year instead of by the month? Would you just not charge as much? I'm really stumped, and also curious.
...I suppose all this goes a ways to explain why I still haven't even attempted to be published, huh :> Besides the whole "my original fic is (generally unfinished) crap" thing -.-
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Date: 2004-03-11 06:38 pm (UTC)Actually, I'd be surprised if it was -that- great, 'cause then I'd really wonder why the person isn't published, ahahah. It's a catch-42, in that I'm pretty sure they -would- be. But. Yeah... if I was blown away.... yeah. Yeah.
Also, the thing about professionalism... that also really clicked in my head. 'Cause the whole site... y'know... besides everything else, what gets on my nerves about it is that it just looks so unprofessional-- the design, even, is sloppy. With all that money coming in, you'd think someone would do a better job for her-- for free, even. Jeez. (Although now I feel shallow, ahahah.)
Yeah, there's a lack of professionalism about the whole shebang. *feels reassured* Like, I don't wanna pay amateurs money, maybe that's also it?? Heh.
You know... now I sort of feel more like I should try to get into the industry more, not 'cause my writing is Good Enough but just because it's an industry and I don't like being an amateur, or something. Heh.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-11 07:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-11 08:20 pm (UTC)Y'know, that doesn't even occur to me, though I have to say I've never thought my work was "sacred", ahahahah. *coughs*
That kinda cracks me up. "Worship me!!!"
Well, I don't feel my work is a product, either. Er. If I had a relationship with my writing... er... hmm. Dunno. What would it be? I get attached to it, but that attachment isn't constant-- usually it fades right after I've finished it, and if it doesn't, generally... that just means I haven't finished it and I want to, but something's stopping me. Like a lack of discipline. ^^;
Um. I don't know if I -care- about "selling it", but then, I don't really care about money unless I'm the one paying it. In terms of asking for money, I'm like, eh??? I'm neither the professional (who is willing to, what, compromise their artistic integrity for it?) or like the amateur (who'd insist on it above all things, and would also want more money). I'm... I'm just someone who doesn't have a clue, I guess.
To me, "integrity" means doing the best job I can, which is what the person at juxtapose.com is lacking (but then, so is most of the industry). Since I personally don't feel I can make someone's purchase of my work worthwhile, I don't try to sell anything. Is that professional or amateur behavior?? Or is that just me being a wimp who has lame excuses for things?? Heh.
I suppose I just don't care about it one way or the other, though this is prolly because I don't really support myself at this point. *sigh* Even if I did, I doubt I'd start demanding outrageous sums no matter how desperate my straits were, just 'cause that's wrong, especially for an artist. Like, if you're a carpet cleaner, sure, go ahead, be a ruthless capitalist, but it's just -sad- if you're a writer. But that's just me.
As far as whether I can see myself having the "sell-out" attitude of "gimme work and I'll do it" or whatever.... I dunno. I'm so inspiration-driven, it'd prolly be difficult to write on demand, especially if the subject-matter bored me. 'Cause being bored by being creative is clearly the ultimate sin, heh. But if I can stomach it, sure. Especially if it's fun. It's all about the fun, in the end.
Maybe I'm just too immature to even be an amateur -.- hee. Having fun, though~:)