~~ bleary fic wibbles.
Dec. 15th, 2003 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaIt's an obvious sort of thought, but.... I wonder if the stories we love best affirm to us the ways in which we were already picturing the workings of the world. The things which continuously upset me in any story or even piece of non-fiction are things which I don't want to believe in, even if they're possible. There's a resistance there, a sense of vulnerability. Like, if I let this idea inside me, it could ruin me.
Maybe this is related to what someone's comfort-zone of emotion is, too. Mine had never been so rigid before I began to care about characters too much. I mean, usually I meet them in a story and it's for the first time, and while it hurts to see them come to a sticky end, it's self-contained sort of thing, and the prose could easily overwhelm the characterization difficulties. The characterization is what it is, and there's rarely "right" or "wrong" to it, as long as it's well-documented.
The more time I spend reading fanfic in a single fandom, the more sensitive I seem to become to characterization over style. The characters (and secondarily, their world) have attained so much definition in my mind that it just hurts me to let go. I want them to remain consistent. I want them to retain some sort of compass of behavior more than anything-- not so much in-character in terms of actions, but more in terms of a sort of emotional range, maybe.
I was reading yet another rec of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
olympia_m's `Tale of the Shining Prince' & sequels on veelarecs, which is what brought me to this. I think that is one gorgeously written story which I can probably talk about more than any other set of fics in this fandom. I mean, no other work except perhaps the Draco Trilogy, would seem to sustain that sort of comprehensive analysis. I couldn't read it more than once, and I have all these conflicting emotions about it, which is what makes it interesting to me.
Usually, I either adore a fic, am indifferent, or can't stand it for some reason, and the good points don't much matter to me. The only fic I have near as many issues with, that I consider well-written and that inspires me to talk about it in an in-depth way would beishuca's `Plague of Legends'. They do have certain things in common, unsurprisingly. And the big thing there is my inability to fully accept their emotional range as applied to Harry & Draco. I understand it, I think-- it's not that it's -alien- to me. Nevertheless I rebel against that sort of world, that sort of Harry. It's interesting being challenged this way, though. If, for instance, Ali's `Sins of the Father' has one of my favorite Harry's, that just makes it too easy for me, almost. That fic goes down like ice-cream-- I completely identify with the pov character, and everything else follows. Whereas in the other fics, there's this constant struggle to accept the character as real, to allow them this life that's entirely separate from me & from what I want to know of the world.
I think the stories that I adored the most upon first reading-- `Origins', `Brief Interval Before Resumption of Play', IP, even-- all have an emotional center that I could project myself into. They verbalize a state of being I always already inhabited-- I can step into the shoes of the pov character and feel comfortable there. They felt like old friends, even if they tore my heart to pieces while they sat on my living-room floor. It's interesting, comparing Origins!Harry & TotSP!Harry-- they're on opposite sides of some sort of spectrum, aren't they, and yet. And yet. I can see the thread that connects them-- maybe that's why TotSP haunts me so.
`Origins' had me from hello, and I remember all of it if I read even a snippet, like a warm wet handprint on skin. It dissipates, but it was always there at the same time. `Tale of the Shining Prince', I can't return to at all, simply because I feel like I could get lost in that world and never come out and it scares me. I want to just hate it or forget it or write it off as this-or-that, but I -can't-. And I don't know what I'm saying anymore. In order to explain what I love and what pains me about stories, in a way I'd have to explain myself. This is what I love about literature. It's like finding pieces of myself scattered everywhere, and in saying anything about them I am really talking about things I'd only barely known I was.
Maybe this is related to what someone's comfort-zone of emotion is, too. Mine had never been so rigid before I began to care about characters too much. I mean, usually I meet them in a story and it's for the first time, and while it hurts to see them come to a sticky end, it's self-contained sort of thing, and the prose could easily overwhelm the characterization difficulties. The characterization is what it is, and there's rarely "right" or "wrong" to it, as long as it's well-documented.
The more time I spend reading fanfic in a single fandom, the more sensitive I seem to become to characterization over style. The characters (and secondarily, their world) have attained so much definition in my mind that it just hurts me to let go. I want them to remain consistent. I want them to retain some sort of compass of behavior more than anything-- not so much in-character in terms of actions, but more in terms of a sort of emotional range, maybe.
I was reading yet another rec of
olympia_m's `Tale of the Shining Prince' & sequels on veelarecs, which is what brought me to this. I think that is one gorgeously written story which I can probably talk about more than any other set of fics in this fandom. I mean, no other work except perhaps the Draco Trilogy, would seem to sustain that sort of comprehensive analysis. I couldn't read it more than once, and I have all these conflicting emotions about it, which is what makes it interesting to me. Usually, I either adore a fic, am indifferent, or can't stand it for some reason, and the good points don't much matter to me. The only fic I have near as many issues with, that I consider well-written and that inspires me to talk about it in an in-depth way would be
ishuca's `Plague of Legends'. They do have certain things in common, unsurprisingly. And the big thing there is my inability to fully accept their emotional range as applied to Harry & Draco. I understand it, I think-- it's not that it's -alien- to me. Nevertheless I rebel against that sort of world, that sort of Harry. It's interesting being challenged this way, though. If, for instance, Ali's `Sins of the Father' has one of my favorite Harry's, that just makes it too easy for me, almost. That fic goes down like ice-cream-- I completely identify with the pov character, and everything else follows. Whereas in the other fics, there's this constant struggle to accept the character as real, to allow them this life that's entirely separate from me & from what I want to know of the world.I think the stories that I adored the most upon first reading-- `Origins', `Brief Interval Before Resumption of Play', IP, even-- all have an emotional center that I could project myself into. They verbalize a state of being I always already inhabited-- I can step into the shoes of the pov character and feel comfortable there. They felt like old friends, even if they tore my heart to pieces while they sat on my living-room floor. It's interesting, comparing Origins!Harry & TotSP!Harry-- they're on opposite sides of some sort of spectrum, aren't they, and yet. And yet. I can see the thread that connects them-- maybe that's why TotSP haunts me so.
`Origins' had me from hello, and I remember all of it if I read even a snippet, like a warm wet handprint on skin. It dissipates, but it was always there at the same time. `Tale of the Shining Prince', I can't return to at all, simply because I feel like I could get lost in that world and never come out and it scares me. I want to just hate it or forget it or write it off as this-or-that, but I -can't-. And I don't know what I'm saying anymore. In order to explain what I love and what pains me about stories, in a way I'd have to explain myself. This is what I love about literature. It's like finding pieces of myself scattered everywhere, and in saying anything about them I am really talking about things I'd only barely known I was.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-12-16 01:50 pm (UTC)I do think one of the main things one gets with great stories is a shifting of one's world-view, an enlargement. I guess I was also saying that even if beforehand, one didn't think this way, there is probably still something within you that predisposes you to grow towards this new idea. I don't know. I'm obsessed with the bit in `The Sandman' where Death tells Destruction that all human beings really know everything there is to know already, but the forgetting is all that makes it okay sometimes~:)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:48 am (UTC)