~~ bleary fic wibbles.

[reenka]

It's an obvious sort of thought, but.... I wonder if the stories we love best affirm to us the ways in which we were already picturing the workings of the world. The things which continuously upset me in any story or even piece of non-fiction are things which I don't want to believe in, even if they're possible. There's a resistance there, a sense of vulnerability. Like, if I let this idea inside me, it could ruin me.

Maybe this is related to what someone's comfort-zone of emotion is, too. Mine had never been so rigid before I began to care about characters too much. I mean, usually I meet them in a story and it's for the first time, and while it hurts to see them come to a sticky end, it's self-contained sort of thing, and the prose could easily overwhelm the characterization difficulties. The characterization is what it is, and there's rarely "right" or "wrong" to it, as long as it's well-documented.

The more time I spend reading fanfic in a single fandom, the more sensitive I seem to become to characterization over style. The characters (and secondarily, their world) have attained so much definition in my mind that it just hurts me to let go. I want them to remain consistent. I want them to retain some sort of compass of behavior more than anything-- not so much in-character in terms of actions, but more in terms of a sort of emotional range, maybe.

I was reading yet another rec of olympia_m's `Tale of the Shining Prince' & sequels on veelarecs, which is what brought me to this. I think that is one gorgeously written story which I can probably talk about more than any other set of fics in this fandom. I mean, no other work except perhaps the Draco Trilogy, would seem to sustain that sort of comprehensive analysis. I couldn't read it more than once, and I have all these conflicting emotions about it, which is what makes it interesting to me.


Usually, I either adore a fic, am indifferent, or can't stand it for some reason, and the good points don't much matter to me. The only fic I have near as many issues with, that I consider well-written and that inspires me to talk about it in an in-depth way would be ishuca's `Plague of Legends'. They do have certain things in common, unsurprisingly. And the big thing there is my inability to fully accept their emotional range as applied to Harry & Draco. I understand it, I think-- it's not that it's -alien- to me. Nevertheless I rebel against that sort of world, that sort of Harry. It's interesting being challenged this way, though. If, for instance, Ali's `Sins of the Father' has one of my favorite Harry's, that just makes it too easy for me, almost. That fic goes down like ice-cream-- I completely identify with the pov character, and everything else follows. Whereas in the other fics, there's this constant struggle to accept the character as real, to allow them this life that's entirely separate from me & from what I want to know of the world.

I think the stories that I adored the most upon first reading-- `Origins', `Brief Interval Before Resumption of Play', IP, even-- all have an emotional center that I could project myself into. They verbalize a state of being I always already inhabited-- I can step into the shoes of the pov character and feel comfortable there. They felt like old friends, even if they tore my heart to pieces while they sat on my living-room floor. It's interesting, comparing Origins!Harry & TotSP!Harry-- they're on opposite sides of some sort of spectrum, aren't they, and yet. And yet. I can see the thread that connects them-- maybe that's why TotSP haunts me so.

`Origins' had me from hello, and I remember all of it if I read even a snippet, like a warm wet handprint on skin. It dissipates, but it was always there at the same time. `Tale of the Shining Prince', I can't return to at all, simply because I feel like I could get lost in that world and never come out and it scares me. I want to just hate it or forget it or write it off as this-or-that, but I -can't-. And I don't know what I'm saying anymore. In order to explain what I love and what pains me about stories, in a way I'd have to explain myself. This is what I love about literature. It's like finding pieces of myself scattered everywhere, and in saying anything about them I am really talking about things I'd only barely known I was.

Comments

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

Oh, I definitely think so. And it makes sense this would happen in fanfic even more than other writing because I think people are mostly drawn to fanfic because of the characters. So you're drawn to the character in canon because something seems familiar to you, search out fanfic, then hone in on the fanfics that reflect that familiar thing more and more. That's why, I think, all of us can stomach certain OCs more than others, or can take something wildly OC over something just slightly OC because the slightly OC version has taken away the thing you need.

It's weird to try and figure out what it is you're recognizing, though. I think that's what fascinates me about Draco. He's a character that's so different from me and so different from the characters I usually go for I can't figure out what it is I'm looking for in him and in fanon version of him.

[justapresence.livejournal.com]

Tale of the Shining Prince' & sequels are my favorite fics in the HP fandom. I'm glad I read it :).

[dorrie6.livejournal.com]

I want them to retain some sort of compass of behavior more than anything-- not so much in-character in terms of actions, but more in terms of a sort of emotional range, maybe.

I liked this a lot. I think that's the key for me. I can believe a lot of different things, and I don't need different authors' characterizations to be the same... I rather enjoy the differences... I like exploring all the possibilities, which I think might partly come from having started in RPS where the canon is so intangible (aka nonexistent). In any case, I know that I can enjoy a lot of different versions of the same character. There is something I want to be constant, though, and I think you've hit upon it, or come as close to hitting upon it as can be done with these kinds of thoughts that like to flutter in our heads and then flee before we can really catch onto them. Hm. Or maybe that's just me. :)

[chresimos.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the stories we love best affirm to us the ways in which we were already picturing the workings of the world.

I wonder about this too, especially in the light of the - you'll only think something is good if it sits with your own world view, and therefore all judgement of fiction is subjective - debate.

I don't know if it's true, though, for me. I can certainly respect and enjoy things that don't, say, 'agree' with me, but many of the things I like the most all resonate emotionally with me at some level. Then again, sometimes I love things that present world views I completely disagree with. I *believe* one of the things that good writing does is make you change your perception, or at least forgive the different perception of the author. But I don't know if it works in practice, because characterization I don't like will put me off quickly, especially in fanfic, even though I don't go looking for specific characterizations, usually. One of the keys to it is to make the reader sympathetic with the character, which is difficult, considering every reader sympathesizes with different characers in different ways.

Just rambling ineffectually, again. :D By the way, I read a few paragraphs of Tale of the Shining Prince and ran away in fear. So. *shrug*

[carrielee.livejournal.com]

Interestingly enough, Tale of the Shining Prince was my first foray into the world of HP fanfic. It was rec'd by one of my favorite Buffy writers, eliade. While I found the first bit fairly believable, by the end I found myself wondering what in the world I was reading. I feel similar to you--I couldn't read it again, but it sure got me thinking.

I can stand just about anything if it's well written. There are certain pairings that make me shudder, but in the right hands I can get over my squick. I guess to me the author is very important. I'd read just about anything the aforementioned eliade wrote, as well as anything by wiseacress. They write it, I buy it.

I suppose everyone sees the characters through their own eyes. The ability to get others to see them that way too is the hard part, and to me it's what makes a really good writer.

[ashjay.livejournal.com]

And here I am, making an effort to jump in and comment right away before my shiny-object-ooh-look-over-there attention span does me in again.

(Although, in reference to my comment earlier, I've never found your posts unapproachable. Despite the fact that you tend to state things like you believe that they're facts, I always put a mental 'my opinion is that' in front of them, which goes a long way towards making them friendlier. *g*)

It's funny that you should mention this, because I've been thinking about the perils inherent in reading or watching only the things that appeal to you. I was watching a rented movie with some friends who had all seen in before, and it was decided by common consent to skip one of the parts in order to get to the 'good part'. I see that a lot, with both books and movie; I do it myself, and why not? What's wrong with returning to the things that you connect with and only reading/watching the other parts once?

Nothing, maybe. But I feel like I'm missing something by doing this, like I'm narrowing my viewpoint, and that, by only reading or seeking out fics or books or movies that I can personally connect to, I'm feeding into a kind of perpetual cycle of self-congratulation - that is, my view of things is natural, and must be, because there it is, repeated in everything I see.

Which is connected to your post in that you're right, I do find pieces of myself in everything I read, but I've found them all before, with the same electric thrill and delighted gasp of realization, and maybe I should stop trying to prove my own existence through other people's fiction. (Not saying, of course, that you are in the same position. I assume you're better off. *g*)

Of course, to set up against that there's the instinctual rebellion you mention above. There are aspects of life and character and behavior that disturb me, and thus don't make for relaxing reading. It would be an effort to force myself into it, like pushing through thick water, and would probably make me feel... tainted? Confused?

Something for me to think about, all the same.

...and about now is where you see why I usually go away to try and organize my thoughts.

Incoherently yours,

Ash