~~ my 22 cents on fb
Dec. 6th, 2003 08:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaIn regards to what Sara said about wanting feedback if someone recs one of her fics, I realized that I've never actually seriously articulated how I feel about feedback, really, besides "I want more". I don't think I -do- want more, not in terms of general numbers. I want more from the writers I admire, especially if they've got me friended here, eheheh.
Personally, it all makes me feel good of course, and if there's a lot of it, I feel sort of godly there for awhile, but what really makes me -happy- is to know that people I like/admire/am friends with -read- it (and hopefully liked it). Actual feedback can get tiring to always reply to, and sometimes I don't know what to say, and it's embarrassing; what really warms me lately is knowing that there is someone whose attention/opinion -matters- to me, reading what I wrote. I mean, I write for me, but this is fandom, too, so I write for my own personal fandom. Which is to say, people I myself read and who basically make up my fannish world-- people who've inspired me to write H/D by writing it themselves, say.
So yeah. If someone I respect the intelligence and perceptive abilities of says they dug something, I can just assume they got what I was saying, and I feel all happy and glowy. Nothing is as brilliant as an actual in-depth review, but very very few people do that, so eh. I just want to be -read-, 'cause that's still such a new thing to me. Usually, it's a surprise to know that while I get say, 5 responses, more than 5 people have read it. I would -guess- so, but I never really believe it in my heart, somehow. So if someone recs me, I'm like, ah! You -read- it! You read it?? You read it!! OMG YOU READ IT!!1
I used to seriously wonder if some people read my fics, 'cause, you know, my friends list was so cool & I added a lot of people whose writing I -worshipped-, so it's like, too much to ever expect people of such monumental coolness would deign to read my fics. Then again, I don't want fangirls so much as fellow writers who'd know where I'm coming from, who'd tell me I did okay this time. Otherwise, it would be enough just to know I'm read. I mean, if I get 5 comments, I'm happy 'cause that means those 5 people have read the fic and if no one else did, well, at least there's them. Five is a good audience. But I still want my friends' opinions, positive or negative or "eh". I mean, enjoying it's good, of course. I'll buy that~:)
I think I'm just obsessed with some sort of lame idea about a writers' circle, a fellowship even. I think some people are -entertained- or -encouraged- by feedback, whereas I'm entertained by writing and encouraged by betas (if I have them). In terms of readers, I've always been obsessed with the idea of the "right" audience. I always knew I wasn't a "wide audience" sort of writer, so the people I felt understood me were especially precious. And a part of me thinks that if I dig -their- writing and our minds seem to work on a similar frequency, then it's their readership that I really want/need. So basically, this is me saying: if I've ever fangirled/enthusiastically feedbacked you, then I desperately almost always want to know what you think, but I'd be equally happy to know you read me at all ('cause otherwise I'd assume you don't). If you're a stranger, then it'd be nice to know for sure you read me, but I'm glad to just release my story into the wide blue yonder and let y'all have it for yourselves, as far as your personal relationship with fics goes. Dunno if this is a unique or interesting position, but there you have it.
...And if this sounds like a shameless-hussy plea for feedback from some of you, well, er.... You would not be wrong. ^^; *coughs, exits*
Personally, it all makes me feel good of course, and if there's a lot of it, I feel sort of godly there for awhile, but what really makes me -happy- is to know that people I like/admire/am friends with -read- it (and hopefully liked it). Actual feedback can get tiring to always reply to, and sometimes I don't know what to say, and it's embarrassing; what really warms me lately is knowing that there is someone whose attention/opinion -matters- to me, reading what I wrote. I mean, I write for me, but this is fandom, too, so I write for my own personal fandom. Which is to say, people I myself read and who basically make up my fannish world-- people who've inspired me to write H/D by writing it themselves, say.
So yeah. If someone I respect the intelligence and perceptive abilities of says they dug something, I can just assume they got what I was saying, and I feel all happy and glowy. Nothing is as brilliant as an actual in-depth review, but very very few people do that, so eh. I just want to be -read-, 'cause that's still such a new thing to me. Usually, it's a surprise to know that while I get say, 5 responses, more than 5 people have read it. I would -guess- so, but I never really believe it in my heart, somehow. So if someone recs me, I'm like, ah! You -read- it! You read it?? You read it!! OMG YOU READ IT!!1
I used to seriously wonder if some people read my fics, 'cause, you know, my friends list was so cool & I added a lot of people whose writing I -worshipped-, so it's like, too much to ever expect people of such monumental coolness would deign to read my fics. Then again, I don't want fangirls so much as fellow writers who'd know where I'm coming from, who'd tell me I did okay this time. Otherwise, it would be enough just to know I'm read. I mean, if I get 5 comments, I'm happy 'cause that means those 5 people have read the fic and if no one else did, well, at least there's them. Five is a good audience. But I still want my friends' opinions, positive or negative or "eh". I mean, enjoying it's good, of course. I'll buy that~:)
I think I'm just obsessed with some sort of lame idea about a writers' circle, a fellowship even. I think some people are -entertained- or -encouraged- by feedback, whereas I'm entertained by writing and encouraged by betas (if I have them). In terms of readers, I've always been obsessed with the idea of the "right" audience. I always knew I wasn't a "wide audience" sort of writer, so the people I felt understood me were especially precious. And a part of me thinks that if I dig -their- writing and our minds seem to work on a similar frequency, then it's their readership that I really want/need. So basically, this is me saying: if I've ever fangirled/enthusiastically feedbacked you, then I desperately almost always want to know what you think, but I'd be equally happy to know you read me at all ('cause otherwise I'd assume you don't). If you're a stranger, then it'd be nice to know for sure you read me, but I'm glad to just release my story into the wide blue yonder and let y'all have it for yourselves, as far as your personal relationship with fics goes. Dunno if this is a unique or interesting position, but there you have it.
...And if this sounds like a shameless-hussy plea for feedback from some of you, well, er.... You would not be wrong. ^^; *coughs, exits*
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Date: 2003-12-06 10:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-07 12:26 am (UTC)This is a perfect opportunity for me to ask your opinion on something.
First, I love everything you write. Really I do.
Second, how do you feel about, well you see, the thing is, I LOVE to read really good fanfiction. A Lot. But I cannot write so much as a postcard. Nor do I enjoy it. So reviews from me usually end up just a bunch of fangirly nonsense. All I can offer back from receiving such good writing is a "well done" and if I really,really,really try, I can come up with a line from the fic and say that I liked it especially. Because writing is so very unnatural for me. I know even THIS sounds dumb. I am a 33 year old professional, yet I sound like a 14 year old silly girl.
So, my question is, should I spare the author my very plebeian review, and just lurk, because it is not really offering anything of value, or should I try force myself to do something I am embarrassed to do and try to say something kind and thoughtful or should I just say "Read it and liked it"????
I seriously value what you and some authors do for the fandom very much, wish I could send MY best. I have offered to send one of my favorite writers something that I make. But I do not really know how inappropriate that would be. But seriously, I would think that if I cannot write or draw I should give in the best form that I can, right? They give me their best and I give them mine.
Please be honest and plain and blunt with your response. Maybe every author would respond differently, but the one that I offered something to has not responded, & I hope I did not offend her. Anyways, what I did was to tell her to go to my web site and asked her to pick out her favorite item and I would make one and send it to her.
What you said about wanting feedback and respect from your peers makes a lot of sense from my point of view. I feel EXACTLY the same way in my profession.
Anyways,Please give harsh real advice for a self proclaimed Lurker--Plebian--fangirl! who wants to do right to her righteous authors.
Thank you for letting my take up so much space on your L.J.
Twiggymolly
no subject
Date: 2003-12-07 10:47 am (UTC)I think it's very true that it varies from writer to writer. Some writers are just desperate for any tiny bit of feedback they can get, and seem very pleased to have pleased any reader. They -thrive- off feedback-- it's like life's blood to them. They write -for- their readers, and it doesn't matter what they say so long as the writer knows they're -there-.
That's how I feel, too-- it's nice to know the readership is -there-, not even related to what they say. I don't get the same pleased-as-punch reaction as from fb from someone I know/am friends with, but I do feel validated, and it always helps more than -nothing-. I mean, feedback is never -offensive- or anything, even just "hey, I read this and it made me happy/sad/I liked it". Sometimes people say the wrong thing and it bothers me, like they'd call a rapefic nice and hot or something, but whatever, I'm not proprietary about my fics or their reception. Some reaction is a good reaction. My emotional investment in it is much lower, but I always appreciate it all the same.
There's no need to try to be something you're not. There are always people out there who will/could say something else. Every reader is different and provides a different reflection of the same story. It's funny how no one says exactly the same thing, but also pleasing-- to me, anyway. It's probably best to just be yourself and follow your instincts-- say what you want, no more & no less. If you have nothing to say, that's okay too-- that's honest. You have nothing to say, and that's that. Happens to me too, even though I nearly -always- have something to say. But then, that's me. I hate forcing myself to say things when there isn't anything there. It turns one off saying anything at all, and that's not a good thing.
So yeah-- remember all writers are different, but most of them really are happy with every new reader they get, even if they don't say so, and even if the truth is they'd be happier with another type of review or another reviewer or whatever. That's life. But every little bit has its place, y'know? Everyone has their role in the fandom ecology~:))
~reena
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Date: 2003-12-07 03:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-07 10:35 am (UTC)I appreciate the people who understood a story in some measure of the way I intended it, whether they're random or not. I easily become friends with those I hadn't known before who do seem to "get it", too. So I'm not really closed to new things in this respect... it's just a matter of what I go in -wanting- and hoping for when I post a fic in the first place-- what motivates me to post (as opposed to write). I hope that person A, B, C and E will say something. Everything else is a nice bonus, but it's -them- that I have an on-going conversation of sorts with, even if only in my mind.
This is a -me- thing, y'know? I want feedback, but I'm the opposite of the people who beg for it and crave it and repeatedly say so. I don't look -down- on strangers' feedback, it's just that I don't know I want it until someone actually says something I wanted to hear, y'know. I've been disappointed in the ability of people to understand my writing over and over and over and over and over and over (and over) again. That's my fault-- my writing has long been sloppily obscure and lost in its own language. But it's left me with a certain distrust of people in general & their ability to appreciate anything I could create. It's not good to distrust this way, but it's not really an insult so much as a defensive mechanism on my part.
I'm perfectly fine with not getting feedback from people at large-- I don't even know/believe/assume those people -exist-, as I was trying to say. I don't even assume they read it, why would I want feedback?
That said, I -have- repeatedly written things other than H/D NC17 stuff. I've written a Draco/Pansy character piece, a Hermione character piece, Ron/Ginny twice, a Draco character piece, Draco/Zacharias, a PG H/D comedy or two, all within the past several months or so. No one reads those, though :> Well, pretty much no one, anyway. I have a longish Harry-centric post-OoTP longfic in progress which I'll pimp to the gen people if I can figure out how or where, and a Draco/Snape in progress which prolly no one will read but
As far as my last posted fic-- I wrote it because of you, kind of. You said you preferred gen to NC17 and wished there was more gen and less porn, so I set out to write as close to NC17 with gen sensibilities as I could, just on a whim, to see if I could do it. I dare myself a lot. But anyway, it came out sort of weird.... thoughtful porn. I dunno if I was successful. I'd need a longfic, with plot and then some porn-- but then, that's what I want out of fic in general, though it's hard to find. In short-short form, it was just sort of cerebral porn, ahahaha. Oh well.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-07 01:41 pm (UTC)As far as feedback, I usually hesitate to post inane comments along the lines of "that was so good, blah, blah, blah," but sometimes I cannot help myself. Sometimes a story is so good that I feel like I need to let the writer know, but I'm still so taken with the story that I can't really express what's so good about it. If I can eventually put into words what made the story click, I'll try to go back later and be specific.
I absolutely understand your view that some feedback is better than others. There are those whose opinions you value, and to have them comment on a story makes you go squee. Peer review (other writers) is rewarding, I'm sure. But those of us who don't write and merely read can be a valuable source of fb too.
I'm just glad to have found writing discussion of this quality in this fandom.