~~ just a blip on the blue-screen of lj.

[reenka]

alright, so like no one (except like, two of you) will care about this, but hell, it's all i can think about the past week, so if i didn't talk about -it-, i wouldn't talk about -anything-, for probably like another week or two. (and there isn't -much- to say, anyway, so um. i'm sort of on hiatus-- things to do, gay men to watch bonk, you know how it is).
    plan right now is-- finish my reading list, fanfic & other (this includes textbooks), give you lovelies my feedback, do my beta, finish incompletes, watch moremoremore qaf, finish fic, remember to breathe. order unknown.
    er. anyway.


the main consensus is that brian is an asshole. hot, but an asshole-- someone no one would really want for a friend, someone who'd drive most people insane. he's not "nice". he's not pleasant, most times. he's often saying things that rub others the wrong way, and doing things without considering what others would want him to do.

i don't see why this makes him an asshole. what has he done, anyway? he doesn't play by the social rules of "let's pretend i really want what i couldn't care less about", but why is that a bad thing? honesty doesn't go a long way with most people, i guess. and the truth is? if most people were as WYSIWYG as brian kinney, they'd be seen as assholes too. it's all a matter of playing the game-- other people's game. so brian kinney plays his own game, but the rules are clear-cut, and he doesn't really cheat. everyone else is playing a -different- game, and somehow that makes them better and nicer people?

i'm not a naturally `in your face' sort of person, usually. i don't say things people don't want to hear, although i don't lie to tell them the things they -do-. i just filter a little-- we all do. but my greatest admiration and tolerance is for honesty. there's really no limit to how cutting i'd tolerate people being, if they're just expressing themselves. isn't that what we admire about stand-up comedians? isn't that what's so great about revolutionaries? does it really -matter- if the truth they're speaking isn't kind?

but oh, in my experience, brutally honest people (and brian kinney) -are- kind. he's really a rather intensely caring, kind person, the sort who would do things for other people without wanting acknowledgement or compensation. he does these things like he does everything else-- because that's just what he wanted. if he's caring for his friends, it's not because he's manipulating them or trying to get something for himself. he may almost never be selfless, but when he is, it's real. and he -has- been, more than once.

it's just. true kindness isn't the sort of thing you show by pandering to people's delicate sensibilities. it isn't the sort of thing that necessarily has to make people feel better. true kindness is giving others what they -need-, not necessarily what they want. being willing to forgo the natural instinct to please yourself -and- to please others, and see the truth of what's important in a given situation.
    a truly kind person can be a total bastard in their day-to-day interactions, and it would be completely compatible. life isn't pretty most times, is it. speaking the truth and doing what you want and not compromising-- it's not going to make you everyone's best friend by a long shot. it may make you infamous, but it's not going to make you -liked-.

a lot of my friends-- people i consider beautiful & kind-hearted-- consider themselves mean bitches. one hears a lot of `i would be in slytherin'. and often, it's from the people who don't censor themselves or are... well... strongly moral, even, i'd say. (and often, it's just from wannabes who think draco or snape are hot and dark and angsty, but we'll just ignore them for now.) i wouldn't say it's necessarily convential midwestern american morality or anything, but this sense of right and wrong-- usually that's strongly present.
    they wouldn't believe me-- you know who you are-- you wouldn't believe me if i told you you're not really mean just because you don't cover up the things that are unpretty in you, just because you uncover the unpretty things in others. that's something to be admired.

there's petty cruelty, the refuge of frightened, narrow-minded fools-- i suppose that's draco, and that boy who beat up justin. and then there's lex, and there's brian kinney-- and neither of them are anywhere -near- that. they don't lash out at the world out of fear. they don't bring down other people to make themselves look bigger. they are confident and aware of their power. they don't need to be pointlessly cruel for no reason other than it feels good. that's what makes an asshole, in my book. draco is an asshole, petty and jealous and insecure. i love him, and i don't think you can really -judge- him on adult terms, but i wouldn't really -defend- him. he may be rather harmless, but the intent to wound is there.

anyway.
brian isn't like that. justin knows that, too. justin has a sense for people, and he wouldn't really care as much as he does if he felt that brian was a bad person, a person unworthy of anyone's love. because he -is-. of course, everyone is worthy of love, but -i- think that brian and people like him are worthy of admiration, as well as trust. i would trust brian with my -life-, and i would never say that (as easily) about mike, the supposed "nice guy". and that's all i can say, i guess (finally, eh).
~~

EDIT - all i can remember anymore about that lj-friends compatibility quiz going around is that i'm 106% compatible with ztrin (which made me bounce like you wouldn't believe), and whose latest fic i -will- read as soon as i stop seeing brian&justin dancing naked behind my eyelids everytime i close them. gimme a few days >:D< (everyone else-- well, hautemonde & kitsune13-- starts with 87%, heh.)

Comments

[elke-tanzer.livejournal.com]

Even the accountant fellow understood this sort of thing, when he listed Brian in his living will first season...

Excellent post!

[kearie.livejournal.com]

While I can't really think of anything to add to that, I just want to tell you how great this post was. There was a redeemed!Draco debate a few days ago on someone's LJ and I think this point is somewhat relevant to that. You say that Draco falls into the realm of petty cruelty. Still, when we redeem Draco we do tend to keep him somewhat mean so that he doesn't become OOC. In fact, what people seem to make Draco into is a sort of Brian Kinney. Brutally honest (usually manifested as a cutting wit) yet deeply loyal (usually to Harry or Hermione or Ginny or whoever he's paired with at the moment).

Love your meta :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee. i hadn't considered that, but yes. i've snarked before that people want to make semi-redeemed!draco into what is actually snape, but yah, it's closer to brian kinney. which is pretty much, equally ridiculous, though i can see the attraction. i don't think draco is particularly given to having independent opinions or seems to possess the good qualities that would explain the bad ones. i mean, i'm sure he has good qualities, but. actually, i'm not sure who draco would be if he grew up a little (not that brian is all that grown up-- see, they're just different).

i suppose this makes him of an ilk with say, eminem, too. the angry young man with the semi-secret heart of gold, blah blah.

see the thing is, i don't think brian has anything to apologize for, which is draco's -attitude-, but not really the -truth-. not so much because draco's the Big Bad or anything, but more because the things he stands behind are flimsy fictions fed to him by his father, one assumes. there's nothing at all admirable about them, nothing to do with individuality.

i dunno. in my mind, draco would possibly have to be more complex than brian if you were going to make him a likeable character.
first of all, all his snark is juvenile and stupid, not quite the product of a sharp mind or anything. so if he realized how stupid it was to think what he does, what would replace it? i'm not sure.
i think draco is a sad character, in terms of his future. more pathetic than admirable, more lost than self-determined. even to put a positive spin on it, i think he'd retain a sort of veneer of artifice-- melodrama. he's not so much honest as a huge liar, who'd get off on creating ways for himself to be cool and hot even when he had nothing else (not the malfoy name, not his being slytherin, not even meriting harry potter's hatred).

you know what? i think he's more like emmett than he is like brian. ahahahaha >:D
oh god. i think i just squicked myself ><;;
well, if emmett was bitter, disenfranchised and horribly, horribly spoiled. or something. okay, i'm -so- not thinking more on this. *runs away from self's own brain*

[kearie.livejournal.com]

he's not so much honest as a huge liar

I would love to write Draco as a chronic liar (what's the technical term for it? I can't think today...) but feel like writing anything now is stupid with OotP coming out so soon...

Haha, are you implying Draco is an utterly flamboyant drama queen? Because, you know, I think I could live with that implication ;D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

heheehee, oh no, i'm not -implying-, i'm straight-out -saying-, hee.
when i did my draco meme, i pretty much said it. at least, -my- draco is a compulsive, obsessive, chronically lying little boy... who manages to remain charming and fascinating. somehow. hee >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

oh, and while writing a long plot-based fanfic may not be the best idea, not writing character-driven fics that explore interpersonal relationships and are under 15 pages seems like just a way to deprive yourself of some fun, y'know?~:)

[veuki.livejournal.com]

People do tend to make Draco into a Brian Kinney type guy! I love Brian, asshole or not asshole or brutally honest in-your-face. Sigh. I'd want him to be my sperm donour, too.

I ordered his bracelet off eBay. I'm wearing it now. Bwahahaha.

Long live QaF!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

heee. w00t!
i love brian, and draco, but they're pretty different. and honestly? i love justin more >:D ahahaha.

i think i identify with justin more. i think it's my harry-type affection peeking through >:D<
i like brian, and this he's hot-- and a GREAT match for justin-- and he amuses me-- and i wanna cuddle him, but. mmmmmmmmm, justin. i go for the willowy, plucky type with the GORGEOUS LIPS and the slinky body, can you tell? hee >:D

and OMG I SO NEED A QAF ICON ALREADY, GAH!!11!1

Re:

[veuki.livejournal.com]

Heehee. Justin does have gorgeous lips, yes. And sunshine-coloursed hair! Although his teeth are a bit wacky, but hey. No one's perfect, and I'd fuck him. ;)

I can make one for you if you'd like!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

heeee >:D
the wacky teeth give 'im... character. it makes him cuter, to me >:D<
and yah, mostly i was looking for the right photo to use (i mean... i have the captions come easily to me and i'm pretty okay with icons, but i mean... most of the kissing icons would look stupid with a caption... plus a lot of them are bad quality screencaptures... so i'm not sure what sort of thing i'm going for... but yes!! i'd be delighted if you made a b/j one~! *bounces*)
heeeeeee!

Re:

[veuki.livejournal.com]

Okay, will try. :D *starts look for B/J pictures*

[(Anonymous)]

:D Speaking of me in there? :P
As long as I'm not the wannabe Slytherin. I love Brian. I don't really want to dicuss something so close to me but I'm mostly one of those people who tells people the truth. I've spent years censoring myself, convincing myself I'm all 'nice' but it was, in the end, really just me not being true to myself. And it's hard to be true because people can't take things not sugar coated (I can't) and they start to hate you and you're the mean one and it gets lonely when no one else thinks your way but..

Meh. Write me D/P. :P

-MK

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*
<33 hee. meep. time flies. it's due friday isn't it ><;;
heee >:D<
i'm on it~:)

[eleveninches.livejournal.com]

I would want Brian to be my friend. Seriously. He cares so much, but he just doesn't show it in the same ways as everyne else.

Also, haha, this is really embarrassing, but I didn't realize until this morning that I hadn't friended you. I could've sworn I did a long time ago. And here I was thinking that you just never posted anything I could read! *crawls into a hole*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee >:D
yah, i wrote it and then i realized, what the hell? this is obvious -.-
('course, i shouldn't trust myself with knowing what's obvious and what's not, 'cause i'm rarely right about that).
just annoys me that -anyone- thinks he's an asshole, even though the person who said that has qui gon as their ideal, so what was i expecting >:D

and, eeeeeeeee!!
you have like, no idea how happy you made me~:) after all this time! 'cause, i think i friended you prolly like, 9 months ago ><;; *giggles*
i was sure it was never going to happen and i was unworthy. but you know, i can deal with that. heh. and then i was like, "it must be my sudden brian/justin obsession that made my stock go up" (amidst all the bouncing in glee). *laughs*
(and man, it's hard to find a b/j photo to icon-- they're either kissing-- which, you know... i feel weird having 90% of all my icons be `luuurve' icons-- or like, standing next to each other posing, or like, being too happy so that it doesn't really make a good `this is what i think of them as' icon or..... yah.)

[ztrin.livejournal.com]

WE MUST TALK ONE DAY. <33333333333333 I THOUGHT I WAS DOOMED TO NOT GETTING ANY LOVE FROM ANYBODY ON LJMATCH, THEN I FOUND YOU.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

hee! we must we must! >:D
<3~!
*giggles* although, you know, i was not surprised. if they'd taken it, i'd expect you & amalin & silvia & ishuca, and that's pretty much it~:)
(and i don't know why you, it's just a feeling-- sometimes people's writing rings bells, just the thinking processes behind it, i guess. hee.)

[keewick.livejournal.com]

Coming in late to the QAF discussion...

I totally agree with you about Brian. His kindness is glimpsed in his actions, rarely his words, unlike best bud Mikey, and to me that is a greater form of kindness. Most people I've found are all talk, and hypocritical as I'll get out!

I actually remember one of the actors saying awhile back that Brian Kinney was actually one of the most 'moral' characters on the show in that he religiously follows his moral code, rarely straying from what *he* believes to be right and true, it's just that his moral code is vastly different to that of the majority.

Although if Brian were going to be in my life I'd want to be someone he *deeply* cared about - like Mikey or Justin - because if you hang on the fringes of his circle (like Ted or even Emmet), his loyalty, and occasional displays of tenderness, probably aren't going to extend to you, and you're left with a rather unlikable individual. Honestly speaking, Brian, though extraordinarily strong and honest, is often cruel to those he doesn't give a damn about.

Personally, I happen to find Justin and Ben kinder individuals than Brian in that both are equally prepared to stand up for what they believe in without calling attention to their 'good deed' while also maintaining a more considerate, friendlier attitude day in and day out. As far as I'm concerned Mikey is the least kind simply because he is the weakest, the one most controlled by fear.

As for the B/J dynamic, I've come to realize that the fact that Justin sees the best in Brian, that he questions him and challenges him to be a better person (unlike whiney Mikey) helps to bring that out in him. In reviewing season one's episodes, I started to see a pattern - Justin would casually converse with Brian, Brian would blow him off in response, but then eventually take his advice. For instance, it was because of Justin's talk of his father and their relationship that Brian first paid a visit to his deadbeat dad, it was Justin's horror at Brian relinquishing all rights to his son that made him pause to consider the situation, and it was ultimately Justin again who prompted him to then change his mind once more and sign the forms, to 'try a different tack,' 'killing them with kindness,' and all with his son's best interests in mind. There are more examples, but I'm momentarily drawing a blank.

Anyway, in short, I feel that Justin and Brian balance each other out nicely and have come to bring out the very best in each other. And no, I don't believe for one second that Brian is some heartless bastard, but I must concede that publicly he plays the role to perfection. ;)

Oh, and one more thing...

[keewick.livejournal.com]

FYI, you can download QAF episodes from the third season on kazaa. They're up, like, a few days after the episode first airs, so you might want to check it out. After all, the conclusion of season two is rather a heartbreaking cliffhanger, and I'd hate to be stuck there for months on end before the next season comes out on DVD. Besides, there's much, much B/J goodness once you hit mid-third season. But I guess you can probably gather that from durendal's beautiful, swoon-worthy icons alone! ;)

Re: Oh, and one more thing...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*siiiigh*
yah i know. and, i've seen a lot of clips-- from toolunaticsnwon.com and sandstorm's clips. so yah, i've seen most of the b/j scenes (and a nice number of the other clips)~:D
the only problem is that i'm on dial-up, and in school, i can't install kazaa. i -could- use streamload.com, but i've looked -everywhere- and i haven't seen anyone who lists `queer as folk' as one of the things they have on streamload.
sigh. i would beg someone, but that's a long time (to upload so many megs).
i can install emule, but it takes forever and mostly, the files aren't even there at the time.

but at least the nice people put up all the b/j scenes -.- hee~:)