reenka: (emo losers are love. but not really.)
[personal profile] reenka
It appears I'd upset a friend when he'd wrote a poem to me (but not about me... er) years ago, and I laughed (though I don't remember it) and/or was harsh about critiquing it, and er... he'd apparently never wrote me a poem again after that -.- I know this because he wrote his current girlfriend one and she loved it (in that OMG NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS FOR ME, IT'S SO DEEP AND MEANINGFUL ZOMG!!1 sort of way) and he read it to me to check if she was biased or it was really amazing, ahahaha -.- Well, I mean, it wasn't -bad-, but... okay, a bit hokey, but with good imagery at times, and... somehow I feel I'm missing the point. He also said the cheesy first line about her tears and eyes, etcetc, was meant to press a button & was personal. (...Okay....)

This got me to thinking about how I am with fanfic in general too-- especially harsh with my closest friends, all that jazz, and also how I refuse to give the whole "it's personal to me" or "it's just for my/your pleasure" philosophy the time of day (in that whole 'if you're not perfectionist about your pleasure, that's not -my- problem' sort of way). I mean, I really -should- care about your (general 'your') pleasure and yet, somehow I don't. Haha, I care about -my- pleasure, and my pleasure is (what I see as) good writing, and I'm just rather an uncompromising bitch about that. -.-

I don't know what my point is. I feel bad that he's felt bad about my being harsh that one time, but not bad enough not to be unapologetic on some level. I mean, I don't -lie-, basically-- if it's great, I'm sincere. If it's not-so-great... I'm also sincere. And yeah, so maybe I'm a bit masochistic in reading the things that hurt my soul in the first place, but on the other hand, I still feel 'don't like it, don't read it' is a cop-out-- how would I know it's not good before I read it? And how do I know it's not good until I read a good bit of it, in fact...? And then, once you've invested that bit of your time-- well, you get to be bitter, is what I'm saying. You get to be very very bitter. ^^;
    If people hated me for this, I suppose I'd become even more antisocial than I already am, that's all, but I think(??) most people who know me take it as just me being me, or something.

Still, excusing cheesy lame lines as being 'personal' just strikes me as hilarious. As if -every- story, -every- line, -every- word in -every- creative thing you write shouldn't be personal. Duh. That's no excuse for being a shitty writer, though it -is-, in fact, something that will get you laid, I guess.

Oh, and did I mention feedback? It will also get you feedback. ('Bring me the cheese, if you please,' the masses cry. 'Oh yes, thank you,' they add. 'We will adore you and be your slave now, kthnxbi.' 'Tis the way of the world, methinks....)

Date: 2005-11-18 05:00 am (UTC)
arboretum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] arboretum
As if -every- story, -every- line, -every- word in -every- creative thing you write shouldn't be personal. Duh. That's no excuse for being a shitty writer, though it -is-, in fact, something that will get you laid, I guess.

*laughs* that's sort of like people who can't actually draw drawing heads 3 times the size of ribcages in a life drawing class and explaining pigheadedly that it's their STYLE. I mean, c'mon. my philosophy is: first admit you suck, and then we can go from there. :P

Date: 2005-11-18 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
*cracks up* Oh man~:) I can almost see the whole 'style' thing with that (I mean, plenty of cartoons/caricatures do do that) but not in life-drawing class, ahahahahfalskfjd :D On the one hand, I feel sort of bad for the egos of all the anime artists going to their first life-drawing class and yet... and yet, life is pain, and you have to suck it up if I do, ahahahahah :D :D

But yeah, this is the guy that keeps telling me it doesn't matter how good/bad of an artist I am, worse artists get exhibitions -.- -.-;;; (...And, I mean, it's -true-, but....)

Date: 2005-11-18 05:18 am (UTC)
arboretum: (Default)
From: [personal profile] arboretum
*laughs* Yeah... maybe heads was a bad example. But the thing is, we all SUCK to varying degrees at some point, and the only way we can lessen our own suckage is by admitting we suck and uh, learning. :P

Then again, it is true -- the exhibitions always seem to be the crappy artists. Perhaps we should strive to be crappier!

Date: 2005-11-18 05:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
...But didn't you know--?? It's not about improving!! It's about feeling good about how much we clearly ROCK and how much people want to suck our COCK! (Okay, maybe not, but I'm just not amused enough unless I say cock, obviously....)

Date: 2005-11-18 10:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
'don't like it, don't read it' is a cop-out-- how would I know it's not good before I read it? And how do I know it's not good until I read a good bit of it, in fact...? And then, once you've invested that bit of your time-- well, you get to be bitter
That is completely true.

But you can't apply that to poems written to you by a lover, of course *pokes* Not that I didn't have a similar reaction when a friend complained about the gf of her friend who had snubbed the drawing he had made of said gf, while my friend thought it was better than a bought present.
It does seem like a test of the relationship actually.
But. Different to fanfic.

Date: 2005-11-18 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Hahaha, I, um, just can't be like, 'oh, that's nice' or whatever-- it's not in me to be genuinely impressed and 'it's the thought that counts'-- uh, well, if someone made me fanart and/or wrote me a fic for my birthday, say, I'd be happy and not crit it harshly, but at the same time all my friends are pretty good writers, so.... -.-;;;;

I mean, yeah, you're right, it's not fanfic because... I'm, er, actually harsher on poetry than fanfic... can't help it... Or at least, I can't easily be genuinely touched by bad poetry no matter who it's from. I've been spoiled by actually only really falling in love for real with a poet, so.... -.-;;;;;

Date: 2005-11-18 11:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
Is it possible to be with someone who gives you bad poetry? Coz ... if he's perceptive, he'll know his limits and either the poem will have "something", or he won't do it. So, I still think it's indicative of relationships if gifts like that don't work.

Date: 2005-11-18 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Well, with this particular boy... he wasn't known for knowing his own limits-- though it wasn't a gift so much as, I dunno, somehow inspired by me...? The actual poetboy I loved never wrote me anything while we were together-- though he wrote oodles afterwards, ahahah, in typical poetboy style. I found one cruising the web once -.-;;; But yeah, -I- was the one who wrote -him- stuff while we were together, mostly without showing him. The one I -did- show him was... really bad, ahahah, and I knew it -.-; But that wasn't either; I don't think I can really write poetry purposeful enough to be a gift. The whole idea bothers me on some level; so utilitarian. -.-;

Oh, and-- to uh, merge things-- memory -has- tainted love before, but at the same time I'm attached to it. Almost like I value the memory of my own pain as much as the love. I'm rather perverse in some ways, probably. Okay, I know I am. :>

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