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Things Learned While Going Through a Pile of Interesting-looking Sci-fi/Fantasy Books in B&N Tonight (or Why I Love Snap Judgments):



- If you're going to be a hard-boiled Noir anti-hero cop with a (very) hidden heart of gold, by three-legged Christ, please be sarcastic. Or self-deprecating. Or something. There's nothing more hurtful to The Mystique than an anti-hero who takes his bullshit angst Oh So Seriously.

No, you don't have to be a Boy Scout to be sympathetic (far from it), but being a sleazy douchebag isn't so helpful either. And no, no one cares that the poor widdle hard-boiled sleazeball has a shaky hand that's embarrassing and doesn't fit 'the image' of a corrupt cop slash thug. Oh, why do I even try. -.-

- If you're going to be the oh-so-fearful and badass wizard to Strike Fear Into The Hearts of Men (and Chickens)-- anti-hero Version 007.2.0-- it would help the reader if said badass stopped wanking to his own (huge! yet "vulnerable") ego throughout the story. I mean. Eventually it does start to smell and that it not sexy.

- If you're going to write Yet Another Fantasy Epic about a streetwise orphan with hidden magic powers (yes, AGAIN), it really helps if they have an easily identifiable personality, quickly distinguished from Another One of Those(tm), so that the reader may actually remember which book they're supposed to be reading. Otherwise said reader may "drift off", or perhaps simply "forget" to keep reading about Anonymous Spunky Orphan-girl #98020983 and her inevitable journey to Respectability and Bitter-sweet Coming of Age, etc etc and so on and so forth.

- If you're going to riff on the currently (unfortunately too) popular genre of Christian mythology rip-offs, please remember that actually setting your work within something recognizable as that mythos is not optional; a few references combined with ridiculous new 'twists' do not automatically a 'fresh new approach' make. If in fact you want to write about sexy demons doing sexy-demon-PI type things, please do your readers the courtesy of not getting their hopes up with smatterings of actual Christian mythology, where, you know, demons are fallen angels (from HELL) and that's kind of the point; the point is not that they're like, these supernatural beings, right, and they're otherwordly and good at kicking ass and getting chicks.

Keeping to some logical constraints in the basics of your source material isn't the same thing as keeping up with some black-and-white view of mythology you're no doubt rebelling from. I know, I know, I'm old-fashioned, what can I say.

- Okay that genderfuck book was actually cool.

But. There's just something about single 'issue' or 'provocative' fantasy books that bores me after I figure out what it is that's supposed to be shaking my worldview or whatever. Let that be a lesson to you all: I want to be stirred (not shaken), like a proper martini. Or if I'm there's shakin' goin' on, at least have some real fun with it, and not have it be a bunch of persecution and social commentary (on "ancient cultures"), more persecution, some sex, some non-fun violence, some more persecution, and then some more of the first-person narration.

Ah, forget it. "Actually cool", whut? I can criticize anything, especially when I get in touch with my inner 14-year old boy! :P

In other news, I saw Die Hard 4, and it was fun. It was also the first Die Hard movie I've seen so far :>

Date: 2007-07-06 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amalin.livejournal.com
Have you stopped HP-talking with me :( Sorry, I am needy when it comes to Harry Potter these days. Also, I'm on 74 pages you know! This is getting far longer than it was supposed to get.

Date: 2007-07-06 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I was going to get to it once I cleaned my desk so it didn't smell of garbage, but as it is I'm being lazy (and easily distracted). :S But thanks for keeping me on target, and wow, for keeping yourself on target! :"> That really is getting long :D In my experience, fics kinda grow when you feed them, little monsters that they are :>

Anyway, I totally haven't stopped. It was more of a break to do things I of course didn't actually do, and eating foods that are bad for me so I currently have a stomachache right after waking up, as is the nature of my life :>

Date: 2007-07-06 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amalin.livejournal.com
Haha, well I have turned into a whiny little child who grabs hold of anyone who shows the slightest interest and gabbles about HP for freaking ever.

Also, you should take care of your life and not feel obligated to feed MY monster of HP-obsession! I've only got two more weeks really though! So I feel justified.

DID YOU SEE THAT JKR CRIED. I mean, I would have too, obviously, but :(( She has to let go too :((

Date: 2007-07-06 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I'm hoping she cried because she's done & not, you know, 'cause she killed half the characters ^^;; But yeah. Man. ;__; I remember feeling like that only once, when I had a 'false finish' (AND I BELIEVE IT WAS WITH THE DE!DRACO FIC, LIKE 2 AND A HALF YEARS AGO -.-) heh. Well, I was more happy yet freaked out yet happy yet emptied. And then I realized 'wait, wait, uh.... OH NO I CAN ALREADY THINK OF EDITS). But the euphoria lasted for at least 5 minutes :> I don't remember if I had beer and danced around. I think I danced around. :">

And dude, I love HP and also don't actually have a life, plus I need you to keep me motivated & on target for the fic(!) so no worries. However, it won't all end in 2 weeks (is it really 2 weeks?? I think I saw 16 days in the countdown at B&N yesterday but it didn't really register). I've decided that if I'm not done by the time the book comes out, I'll keep the book hostage, not go online & finish it and then read, so >__>

But there'll be even more squeeing after the book, at least for several weeks, what are you saying :"> We'll have to talk about new canon, then!! I'm pretty sure -I- will, anyway. Once, y'know, I read it ^^;;

Date: 2007-07-06 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amalin.livejournal.com
I know, but then there's nothing new to guess about really! I mean, there is, but like . . . not to look forward to as new canon. I don't know. It's the end of a HARRY POTTER DECADE. WAH.

I think I just felt exhausted and terrified after finishing Transformation but I still feel proud about finishing it, so there's that.

I think there is too much Hermione and too much Hermione sympathizing with Malfoy in my fic now but I can't help it. Ahhh I really don't have all that much left to write but it feels like a ton. You can do it! I asked Aja to do a readthrough this weekend, so that is giving me pressure to finish up.

My movie marathon starts tonight! They're all going to be so little, I'm going to cry.

Date: 2007-07-06 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
I KNOW :( Although there'll be a warm fuzzy feeling (one hopes) from knowing a lot of fan-wanky asshats were wrong :)) OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME. :O What I mean is, it's all about perspective. Let's face it, we were already nostalgic about HP for awhile now, and this just puts a lid on what's been coming for several years. I've never really liked going too far into the future anyway (in terms of post-Hogwarts), and I've never liked people's more 'serious' predictions of canon in terms of fic (it always seemed either off in terms of characterization or spirit or not slashy enough, hehe), so all the futures still exist in parallel just like they always did. Maybe fandom could refocus on what's important, but something tells me they won't ;P I suspect the shushing effect HBP had on me qill be quite magnified, though, so yes. :S

I have bits of terror already, mostly about people's reactions and how it'll be stupid releasing right after DH when no one will care, but if I released it right before, no one would have time to read it, really, and of course no one will read it or like it anyway, etcetc -.-;;;

I've actually seen the first movie 3 times by now. *___* BUT MAYBE I SHOULD WATCH IT AGAIN *____* I have the DVD and everything. One of the handful I own, too, haha. Oh man. I think I have it memorized by now, seriously. If I close my eyes, I can already see half the scenes. Maybe if I can get Sara to come watch it with me, but then she's into bandslash now. *wibble*

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