hm. GIP?

Nov. 26th, 2006 02:44 pm
reenka: (a little obsessed?)
[personal profile] reenka
...what is it when you're no longer merely annoyed by the stupid things in fandom, but also annoyed by [most flavors of] perfectly 'justified' bitching about said stupid things in fandom about as much?? [Sadly hypocritical, considering how much I rant, but I NEVER SAID I WAS CONSISTENT, DID I. Uh. *cough*]

Is that like fandom senescence, like where you've reached the level of meta-discontent that you no longer have any choice but to retire to a far-off colony, alone with your porn?? Yeay, finally!!1 (Except... come to think of it, I was always like this. Damn.)

It's like for me, finally, everything has balanced out-- the good and bad, stupid and brilliant, to the point where the whole [online] world is a nice, featureless, innocuous fog. Or maybe that's just so I don't snap at people randomly and go SHUT UP ALREADY, YES I KNOW YOU HATE X AND X IS RUINING YOUR FANDOM EXPERIENCE, KTHNX! GAR! ARG! ...And then I'd turn into a huge T-Rex and start bashing buildings. (The T-Rex would have nice frizzy black hair, too.) That would be satisfying. And this... this is why I uh, avoid people -.-; And thought. And bagels. Repeat after me: THERE IS ONLY PORN!@!!!E1iorjaklfsajklaj;f

What I mean to say is (in my spastic way) that what one focuses on is what one sees, in fandom or canon or wherever. Like... if you're determined to dislike something/someone, you will dislike it/them. If, on the other hand, you're determined to enjoy yourself, you'll do that instead. Far be it from me to have really learnt that lesson at this point, but. I'm just sayin', y'know. Not that preferences are illusory, but that biases can be worked around-- like, I have lots of biases against things/behaviors/people/etc, and then I read something that works around them and omg, suddenly it works. And I -much- prefer that feeling of suddenly enjoying a concept/type of person/etc I didn't before than dwelling on my discomfort. Not that it's easy or necessarily always possible to find that 'magic bullet' solution, and I pretty much hate overly-positivist Pollyanna types, but. Mmm, emotional equilibrium!

Uh, yes. My point was to say that [livejournal.com profile] _ri's 'Foe Transfiguration' (D/Hr comic-- observe icon) is one of those things that keeps me sane, that breaks free of the fog of SUCK and makes me go 'oh wait, the sun'll come out... tomorrow...' etcetc. That and her rare doodles, like this one of Ron. ♥♥♥ Oh Ron. Most fanart so does not do you justice, but. *melty*
    EDIT - And then there's [livejournal.com profile] gredandfeorge's Harry & Snape gen art. I'm really gaga over gen art & little else in HP, it seems, ahaha. Or in... any fandom, per se, unless you count lurking & reading Sentinel fic plus random vids ^^;;;

Also, I just had this weird moment seeing a lit-geeky girl on a personals site (which I sometimes dip into to reassure myself I don't, in fact, ever want to meet someone random from online ever ever again) say, "when i was young, i fell in love with fictional characters and spent hours trying to walk through my mirror". Heh. And I was like '...wait, wait... is that weird that I still do that? I mean, freak!Reena-type weird?'
    And then... I realized, wait, FANDOM. And I felt normal again (or as normal as I ever feel). Oh fandom <3. There's one thing it's good for :D I mean, okay, so most of us aren't IN LOVE the way 10 year-old dreamy girls fall in love (...I think), but. It's the same... sort of... thing. Or something. Right. *COUGHS* >.> In any case, I fall in love with characters the way other people pick strangers up at bars-- man. And this is why I don't GO to bars, I guess. ^^;;;;; I mean, in real life, it's Not A Good Idea to keep being interested in pretty, 'interesting' people if you're painfully introverted and dorky... unless you're also masochistic. Not to be a downer, but. Y'know. Yeah. Lots more emotional risk & lots less real likelihood you'll like what you find out when it gets personal, in general. BUT ANYWAY.

...And now to watch Season 1 of The Sentinel (FINALLY!!1)

Date: 2006-11-26 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
Did you just add that whole terrible paragraph about personals sites while I wasn't looking? *eyes the two pervy mails from that site wearily*

Date: 2006-11-26 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Hahaha yes. "Terrible", you say. Well yes, it's probably not fit for public consumption but y'see, I want to be freeeeeeee, and if people will mock me, LET THEM!! heh. Uh, I don't think my site is your site, 'cause my site is the personal-ads Lovelab page at 'The Stranger', which is a Seattle newspaper. They're sort of quirkly interesting ^^;;;;

Date: 2006-11-26 11:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
Here, they are just repellingly banal. I think I would mind it less if they said "I want to fuck you no matter what you look like" than if they blabbed about how their age didn't matter, they were "clean, healthy, and hairless down there" and wanted to "tenderly spoil" me *puke*

And I only wanted a cat ...

Date: 2006-11-26 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Haha, well this isn't an 'adult friend' site anyway-- that would be the Lustlab part, which I hadn't seen :)) Plus I only look at girls lately, double-plus I don't even talk to them or join, just read their pages to prove to myself that even though I find some of them interesting, it's still not enough to start -that- whole stupid thing with meeting strangers online thing again :> But yeaaaah, your average personal's site sucks. OkCupid is all right, but I dunno if they have an international section-- they have all types there, but you can search by interest rather than just location.

Not that it matters to me-- I sometimes consider these places to find friends in my area, but in the end I'm too shy ^^;;;

Date: 2006-11-26 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/
The salient point is that in the end it only makes you(me) realise you(I) don't want to be like that.




Until next time ...

Date: 2006-11-26 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
It's not so bad! Heh. Lovelab, at least, isn't so bad. As long as people aren't just looking for sex, they have interesting blurbs about themselves! But then I've always found people interesting when they talk about themselves :>

Date: 2006-11-27 05:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plumforgot.livejournal.com
Man, I love Foe Transfiguration.

Date: 2006-11-27 05:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plumforgot.livejournal.com
PS: Guess what I watched for hours on YouTube this weekend. Gundam Wing.

Date: 2006-11-27 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Me too! It has to be good if it makes me nearly ship D/Hr! Heh. Probably 'cause it's a Draco I recognize for once -.-;;;; Of course, that bit with Harry made all H/D-ey *___* I love it when he's horrified *___* Isn't that the whole point??? *___*

Date: 2006-11-27 05:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
HEHEHE *CACKLES* I HAVE SOME 1x2 VIDS I COULD UP FOR YOU, NOW THAT I HAVE BROADBAND. :D :D :D There's probably still more at animemusicvideos.org (http://www.animemusicvideos.org/search/supersearch.php?thead=yep&actionz=proceed) :> :> Though I don't recommend the one to 'Angels' and the one to 'If You're Not the One'... depending how many standards you have left by now :)) I really cry in pain at all the sap to the Gundams fighting and Heero with guns :(( WHY :((

There's this awesome one to 'Opposites Attract (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pkdyj0ckY95TA%3D%3D)' :D :D :D GOD I LOVED THAT SONG AHAHAHASKLfjalfksjaljaslkjaf And then there's the 'Gay Boyfriend' one here (http://www.jo.spacia.org/vids/gayboyfriend.html) which is just... beautiful ;_____;

Date: 2006-11-27 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plumforgot.livejournal.com
OMG 1X2 VIDS. My life. Man. Back in the day, I shipped 2x3x2. I still like them. And 1x3 and 1x2x3. But man. I sure am drooly for some good 1x2 now. Earlier I watched a gen vid set to "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden (which I hate because it was me and my asshole high school bf's song) and it worked and I was all shocked. But clearly, I have no standards. None.

OPPOSITES ATTRACT OH MY FUCKING GAWD.

Date: 2006-11-27 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
OH MAN YOU MADE ME ALL EXCITED AND *___* OF COURSE I UPPED ALL MY FAVORITE 1x2 VIDS AND ONE HARDCORE GUNDAM BOYS VID (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pkcNhIOkY95TA%3D%3D) <3333333333 GAH. If you still want the sappy ones, I'll up those those too :D :D :D HAHAHAH I LOVED SAVAGE GARDEN IN HIGH SCHOOL :((( I've only once read a vaguely 1x2x3 fic where I liked Trowa enough to be like 'okay, that's cool... if Heero was dead or something... uh', 'cause the one other well-known 2x3 fic had Heero be an abusive asshole and Trowa had to 'save' Duo's poor little psyche, and. :O heeeee

Here's three 1x2s: Crash & Burn (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pkcNugjz4N5TA%3D%3D) is only a bit sappy-- hey, I dig it ^^;; Elevation (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pkcNs6yz4N5TA%3D%3D) is really the only one I like as much as Opposites Attract, heheehhe 'cause the song is just so perfect. Mmmmgh. I have this QAF vid to this song which is just... REALLY HOT OK. ...And yeah, there's one to 'All You Wanted (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pkcNiVswLh5TA%3D%3D)' :D :D Fits more than you'd think, anyway ^^;;;; AND THEN THERE'S ONE CALLED 'DIRTY (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pkcNmqfwLh5TA%3D%3D) HEEEEEEEEEEEe.

Date: 2006-11-27 08:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
...it also just struck me that the Opposites Attract link only goes to the 'log in' thing & since I don't wanna make you sign up for an account, here (http://expecto-patronum.inkubation.net/temp/2x1%20-%20GW%20-%20Opposites%20Attract.wmv), just in case. And there's a cool gen vid to We Are All Made of Stars (http://www.yousendit.com/download/3pnNfd4HUTl5TA%3D%3D) *__*

...And I also upped another Heero-is-so-badass gen vid here (http://expecto-patronum.inkubation.net/temp/Outlawed%20(1999)%20-%20Professional%20Badass%20-%20Gundam%20Wing%20-%20Rhythm%20Emotion%20by%20Two-Mix.avi) since it's too big to get on yousendit without an account it seems like ^^;;; Anyway, I wanted to up it 'cause a) you said you liked a gen vid!! & b) I felt bad most of the vids were pretty poor quality 'cause they're pretty old :>

Date: 2006-11-27 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] discordiana.livejournal.com
...what is it when you're no longer merely annoyed by the stupid things in fandom, but also annoyed by [most flavors of] perfectly 'justified' bitching about said stupid things in fandom about as much?? [Sadly hypocritical, considering how much I rant, but I NEVER SAID I WAS CONSISTENT, DID I. Uh. *cough*]

I know exactly what you mean. That feeling that "we get it, you hate that" with the simultaneous knowledge you can't really be annoyed because you also keep ranting about your pet peeves. You actually inspired to make a post of my own :D

Date: 2006-11-27 11:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yourpoison.livejournal.com
Ahhhh, the continuous circle-jerk of pet-peevishness. ♥
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