hm. GIP?

[reenka]

...what is it when you're no longer merely annoyed by the stupid things in fandom, but also annoyed by [most flavors of] perfectly 'justified' bitching about said stupid things in fandom about as much?? [Sadly hypocritical, considering how much I rant, but I NEVER SAID I WAS CONSISTENT, DID I. Uh. *cough*]

Is that like fandom senescence, like where you've reached the level of meta-discontent that you no longer have any choice but to retire to a far-off colony, alone with your porn?? Yeay, finally!!1 (Except... come to think of it, I was always like this. Damn.)

It's like for me, finally, everything has balanced out-- the good and bad, stupid and brilliant, to the point where the whole [online] world is a nice, featureless, innocuous fog. Or maybe that's just so I don't snap at people randomly and go SHUT UP ALREADY, YES I KNOW YOU HATE X AND X IS RUINING YOUR FANDOM EXPERIENCE, KTHNX! GAR! ARG! ...And then I'd turn into a huge T-Rex and start bashing buildings. (The T-Rex would have nice frizzy black hair, too.) That would be satisfying. And this... this is why I uh, avoid people -.-; And thought. And bagels. Repeat after me: THERE IS ONLY PORN!@!!!E1iorjaklfsajklaj;f

What I mean to say is (in my spastic way) that what one focuses on is what one sees, in fandom or canon or wherever. Like... if you're determined to dislike something/someone, you will dislike it/them. If, on the other hand, you're determined to enjoy yourself, you'll do that instead. Far be it from me to have really learnt that lesson at this point, but. I'm just sayin', y'know. Not that preferences are illusory, but that biases can be worked around-- like, I have lots of biases against things/behaviors/people/etc, and then I read something that works around them and omg, suddenly it works. And I -much- prefer that feeling of suddenly enjoying a concept/type of person/etc I didn't before than dwelling on my discomfort. Not that it's easy or necessarily always possible to find that 'magic bullet' solution, and I pretty much hate overly-positivist Pollyanna types, but. Mmm, emotional equilibrium!

Uh, yes. My point was to say that _ri's 'Foe Transfiguration' (D/Hr comic-- observe icon) is one of those things that keeps me sane, that breaks free of the fog of SUCK and makes me go 'oh wait, the sun'll come out... tomorrow...' etcetc. That and her rare doodles, like this one of Ron. ♥♥♥ Oh Ron. Most fanart so does not do you justice, but. *melty*
    EDIT - And then there's gredandfeorge's Harry & Snape gen art. I'm really gaga over gen art & little else in HP, it seems, ahaha. Or in... any fandom, per se, unless you count lurking & reading Sentinel fic plus random vids ^^;;;

Also, I just had this weird moment seeing a lit-geeky girl on a personals site (which I sometimes dip into to reassure myself I don't, in fact, ever want to meet someone random from online ever ever again) say, "when i was young, i fell in love with fictional characters and spent hours trying to walk through my mirror". Heh. And I was like '...wait, wait... is that weird that I still do that? I mean, freak!Reena-type weird?'
    And then... I realized, wait, FANDOM. And I felt normal again (or as normal as I ever feel). Oh fandom <3. There's one thing it's good for :D I mean, okay, so most of us aren't IN LOVE the way 10 year-old dreamy girls fall in love (...I think), but. It's the same... sort of... thing. Or something. Right. *COUGHS* >.> In any case, I fall in love with characters the way other people pick strangers up at bars-- man. And this is why I don't GO to bars, I guess. ^^;;;;; I mean, in real life, it's Not A Good Idea to keep being interested in pretty, 'interesting' people if you're painfully introverted and dorky... unless you're also masochistic. Not to be a downer, but. Y'know. Yeah. Lots more emotional risk & lots less real likelihood you'll like what you find out when it gets personal, in general. BUT ANYWAY.

...And now to watch Season 1 of The Sentinel (FINALLY!!1)

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Did you just add that whole terrible paragraph about personals sites while I wasn't looking? *eyes the two pervy mails from that site wearily*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hahaha yes. "Terrible", you say. Well yes, it's probably not fit for public consumption but y'see, I want to be freeeeeeee, and if people will mock me, LET THEM!! heh. Uh, I don't think my site is your site, 'cause my site is the personal-ads Lovelab page at 'The Stranger', which is a Seattle newspaper. They're sort of quirkly interesting ^^;;;;

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Here, they are just repellingly banal. I think I would mind it less if they said "I want to fuck you no matter what you look like" than if they blabbed about how their age didn't matter, they were "clean, healthy, and hairless down there" and wanted to "tenderly spoil" me *puke*

And I only wanted a cat ...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Haha, well this isn't an 'adult friend' site anyway-- that would be the Lustlab part, which I hadn't seen :)) Plus I only look at girls lately, double-plus I don't even talk to them or join, just read their pages to prove to myself that even though I find some of them interesting, it's still not enough to start -that- whole stupid thing with meeting strangers online thing again :> But yeaaaah, your average personal's site sucks. OkCupid is all right, but I dunno if they have an international section-- they have all types there, but you can search by interest rather than just location.

Not that it matters to me-- I sometimes consider these places to find friends in my area, but in the end I'm too shy ^^;;;

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

The salient point is that in the end it only makes you(me) realise you(I) don't want to be like that.




Until next time ...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

It's not so bad! Heh. Lovelab, at least, isn't so bad. As long as people aren't just looking for sex, they have interesting blurbs about themselves! But then I've always found people interesting when they talk about themselves :>