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reenkaYou know, this is really odd-- kind of mind-boggling, even-- for me to admit, but: just because I don't -identify- myself with any social group or time period, (early lj) HP fandom included, it doesn't mean I'm not actually included.
I mean, it annoys me so much when people say stuff like 'but why do you care about ancient history, you losers' partly for idealistic 'but history is important, asshole!!' sort of reasons, yeah, but the main reason is-- the main reason is that it's my history too. I was part of that fandom-- I was there, I knew these people, they knew (at least of) me, and I felt... I guess I felt I belonged. So it matters because I was enough of a loser to get involved and stay involved up till now, even though I haven't really 'moved on' in the sense of joining another fandom -or- really participating in the HP fandom as it stands. In that sense, I -myself- am a pointless remnant the same way some pointless story about old-time BNFs is.
I mean, I reread Bec's 'H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' even though I couldn't care less about whatever 'goodfic' is going around H/D circles now, say-- and it means so much more to me than 'just a fic', because I read it back before I had a coherent idea of 'oh, it's intelli' or a 100% solid grasp of the H/D cliches it mentioned-- I read it raw and starry-eyed, not yet inured to the 'tricks' of fanfic or sharp little references to snarling boysex against a wall. And that sort of thing never seems to leave me. Now, I can almost tell what the 'real' fic looks like, trying to cut away my ancient bias like an appendix, but it won't... quite... go. I think it's still a good fic, but if you look at it now, you won't understand it, I think, what it -felt- like to read it for a style-whorish H/D-obsessed fangirl in 2002, because it was basically written the -very month- I started reading HP & H/D.
I mean, in the end, it was coincidence-- I just -happened- to have my first contact with H/D be![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eleveninches'/Durendal's website, and I just -happened- to read her generous links page to Aja & Ivy & Rhysenn & Penelope (the Veelas & various H/D + intelli associates, et al) immediately afterwards because Durendal was a Veela. So I saw-- I imprinted-- I fangirled. That's basically how it went.
And I ask myself now-- honestly-- would I care if this was some wank history about the Buffy fandom or even HP history I hadn't participated in, like something actually recent or from 2000/HP4GU-era? Probably not, you know? I wouldn't care how exciting/shocking the wank is, how the truth finally came out, whatever-- it only matters 'cause it ifluenced the course of what was once my fandom. My turf, y'know? Even though now that seems kind of funny and sad.
I mean, it annoys me so much when people say stuff like 'but why do you care about ancient history, you losers' partly for idealistic 'but history is important, asshole!!' sort of reasons, yeah, but the main reason is-- the main reason is that it's my history too. I was part of that fandom-- I was there, I knew these people, they knew (at least of) me, and I felt... I guess I felt I belonged. So it matters because I was enough of a loser to get involved and stay involved up till now, even though I haven't really 'moved on' in the sense of joining another fandom -or- really participating in the HP fandom as it stands. In that sense, I -myself- am a pointless remnant the same way some pointless story about old-time BNFs is.
I mean, I reread Bec's 'H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' even though I couldn't care less about whatever 'goodfic' is going around H/D circles now, say-- and it means so much more to me than 'just a fic', because I read it back before I had a coherent idea of 'oh, it's intelli' or a 100% solid grasp of the H/D cliches it mentioned-- I read it raw and starry-eyed, not yet inured to the 'tricks' of fanfic or sharp little references to snarling boysex against a wall. And that sort of thing never seems to leave me. Now, I can almost tell what the 'real' fic looks like, trying to cut away my ancient bias like an appendix, but it won't... quite... go. I think it's still a good fic, but if you look at it now, you won't understand it, I think, what it -felt- like to read it for a style-whorish H/D-obsessed fangirl in 2002, because it was basically written the -very month- I started reading HP & H/D.
I mean, in the end, it was coincidence-- I just -happened- to have my first contact with H/D be
eleveninches'/Durendal's website, and I just -happened- to read her generous links page to Aja & Ivy & Rhysenn & Penelope (the Veelas & various H/D + intelli associates, et al) immediately afterwards because Durendal was a Veela. So I saw-- I imprinted-- I fangirled. That's basically how it went.And I ask myself now-- honestly-- would I care if this was some wank history about the Buffy fandom or even HP history I hadn't participated in, like something actually recent or from 2000/HP4GU-era? Probably not, you know? I wouldn't care how exciting/shocking the wank is, how the truth finally came out, whatever-- it only matters 'cause it ifluenced the course of what was once my fandom. My turf, y'know? Even though now that seems kind of funny and sad.
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Date: 2006-06-20 09:51 pm (UTC)It probably -was- about the reviews, come to think of it~:)) I actually forgot(!) how obsessively I feedbacked everyone. Well, it's in my nature to ramble on about the things I'm interested in :>
Ah well, the truth is, the 'big' fics were never actually all that IC or great in an objective sense (like with Bec's fic-- I can't even tell you how 'good' it is in real terms). We were just more geekily invested... now it seems more like inertia. And the fact is, there are no 'big' fantasy/sci-fi shows like Buffy or X-Files or Star Trek to grab our attention, so all the fandoms seem fractured and pointless 'cause basically TV sucks and people have become mercenary and it seems like they'll just watch any old thing. Plus more (non-genre, 'normal' aka dumb) people are online/on lj/discovering fandom in general now. Heh.
Oh well, good thing I'm not fannish by nature & can always go back to solitarily reading good fantasy books that people still actually do produce :>
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Date: 2006-06-20 10:17 pm (UTC)Yeah, I've lost count of how many people I've heard wonder what the big deal was with IP or the DT - although Maya's stuff remains universally popular :D But like I said below, a lot of those fics *were* very good.
Bec's fic, for example, never makes me want to cringe the way some of the older stuff does when I reread it. It's actually one of the fics I plan to rec one day (in the distantdistant future), when I finally get off my fat ass and type up the Fics I Have Loved post I've been planning for years now. Like that line, "seventh year seventeen year-olds, NC-us", that was *genius*. (I think that's how it goes. I'm trying to make the point that it's engraved in my memory, but it'll be hilarious if I got it wrong :D I don't want to cheat and look it up, though.) Anyway, that line is fandom in a fucking poetic nutshell. It hasn't lost any power since it was written.
Oh well, good thing I'm not fannish by nature & can always go back to solitarily reading good fantasy books that people still actually do produce :>
That's what I thought, too! Until I read THIS (http://www.intergalacticmedicineshow.com/cgi-bin/mag.cgi?do=columns&vol=carol_pinchefsky&article=008):
However, [Jane S.] Fancher [a SF/fantasy author] also sees fan fiction as a potential threat, and not just because of copyright abuse. She believes readership of novels may be declining in part because of time spent reading on the Internet. "Look how much fan fiction is being written. There are only so many readers with only so much time to read. Our careers might well be on the line because of it."
It's a lose-lose situation! aaaaahhh!