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reenkaYou know, this is really odd-- kind of mind-boggling, even-- for me to admit, but: just because I don't -identify- myself with any social group or time period, (early lj) HP fandom included, it doesn't mean I'm not actually included.
I mean, it annoys me so much when people say stuff like 'but why do you care about ancient history, you losers' partly for idealistic 'but history is important, asshole!!' sort of reasons, yeah, but the main reason is-- the main reason is that it's my history too. I was part of that fandom-- I was there, I knew these people, they knew (at least of) me, and I felt... I guess I felt I belonged. So it matters because I was enough of a loser to get involved and stay involved up till now, even though I haven't really 'moved on' in the sense of joining another fandom -or- really participating in the HP fandom as it stands. In that sense, I -myself- am a pointless remnant the same way some pointless story about old-time BNFs is.
I mean, I reread Bec's 'H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' even though I couldn't care less about whatever 'goodfic' is going around H/D circles now, say-- and it means so much more to me than 'just a fic', because I read it back before I had a coherent idea of 'oh, it's intelli' or a 100% solid grasp of the H/D cliches it mentioned-- I read it raw and starry-eyed, not yet inured to the 'tricks' of fanfic or sharp little references to snarling boysex against a wall. And that sort of thing never seems to leave me. Now, I can almost tell what the 'real' fic looks like, trying to cut away my ancient bias like an appendix, but it won't... quite... go. I think it's still a good fic, but if you look at it now, you won't understand it, I think, what it -felt- like to read it for a style-whorish H/D-obsessed fangirl in 2002, because it was basically written the -very month- I started reading HP & H/D.
I mean, in the end, it was coincidence-- I just -happened- to have my first contact with H/D be![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eleveninches'/Durendal's website, and I just -happened- to read her generous links page to Aja & Ivy & Rhysenn & Penelope (the Veelas & various H/D + intelli associates, et al) immediately afterwards because Durendal was a Veela. So I saw-- I imprinted-- I fangirled. That's basically how it went.
And I ask myself now-- honestly-- would I care if this was some wank history about the Buffy fandom or even HP history I hadn't participated in, like something actually recent or from 2000/HP4GU-era? Probably not, you know? I wouldn't care how exciting/shocking the wank is, how the truth finally came out, whatever-- it only matters 'cause it ifluenced the course of what was once my fandom. My turf, y'know? Even though now that seems kind of funny and sad.
I mean, it annoys me so much when people say stuff like 'but why do you care about ancient history, you losers' partly for idealistic 'but history is important, asshole!!' sort of reasons, yeah, but the main reason is-- the main reason is that it's my history too. I was part of that fandom-- I was there, I knew these people, they knew (at least of) me, and I felt... I guess I felt I belonged. So it matters because I was enough of a loser to get involved and stay involved up till now, even though I haven't really 'moved on' in the sense of joining another fandom -or- really participating in the HP fandom as it stands. In that sense, I -myself- am a pointless remnant the same way some pointless story about old-time BNFs is.
I mean, I reread Bec's 'H(x)/D(x) = x^3 sec(x)' even though I couldn't care less about whatever 'goodfic' is going around H/D circles now, say-- and it means so much more to me than 'just a fic', because I read it back before I had a coherent idea of 'oh, it's intelli' or a 100% solid grasp of the H/D cliches it mentioned-- I read it raw and starry-eyed, not yet inured to the 'tricks' of fanfic or sharp little references to snarling boysex against a wall. And that sort of thing never seems to leave me. Now, I can almost tell what the 'real' fic looks like, trying to cut away my ancient bias like an appendix, but it won't... quite... go. I think it's still a good fic, but if you look at it now, you won't understand it, I think, what it -felt- like to read it for a style-whorish H/D-obsessed fangirl in 2002, because it was basically written the -very month- I started reading HP & H/D.
I mean, in the end, it was coincidence-- I just -happened- to have my first contact with H/D be
eleveninches'/Durendal's website, and I just -happened- to read her generous links page to Aja & Ivy & Rhysenn & Penelope (the Veelas & various H/D + intelli associates, et al) immediately afterwards because Durendal was a Veela. So I saw-- I imprinted-- I fangirled. That's basically how it went.And I ask myself now-- honestly-- would I care if this was some wank history about the Buffy fandom or even HP history I hadn't participated in, like something actually recent or from 2000/HP4GU-era? Probably not, you know? I wouldn't care how exciting/shocking the wank is, how the truth finally came out, whatever-- it only matters 'cause it ifluenced the course of what was once my fandom. My turf, y'know? Even though now that seems kind of funny and sad.
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Date: 2006-06-20 07:48 pm (UTC)Yes, I suppose I mean 'quality' of fic, not 'fic', but then one has to assume that nowadays a lot of quality fic gets missed and maybe that's just not true. Maybe there is a limited amount you can do with all of this and it's been exhausted now.
The whole 'involvement' issue is kinda scary. I could see myself getting too involved if I wasn't so forcibly grounded in RL issues; my college course never lets up on pressure and RL wank.
I always did think it was funny that S/R shippers never had a real BNF. Perhaps because honestly, the ship has so little scope -- what with one of the partners being dead and in the majority out of commission. Hmm. Obvs, the WIPs make or break authors, but nowadays people are shy of reading them.
What to do, what to do? I reckon I should move on to House fic, because I should surely have an advantage there -- in the medical terminology, I mean. :) But I'm so comfy in this fandom. I don't want to write proper stuff, because I tried and OMG, it was complete self-insertion! I totally couldn't divorce myself enough ... perhaps the next Pirates film will whip up some interest.
Cabin fever, perhaps? ;)
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Date: 2006-06-20 09:39 pm (UTC)There's a grain of truth to that, in that it does seem like most of the stuff being written today has all been done before. But nobody is really putting a lot of effort into it, anyways. It's much easier to write a "draco is a goth veela who cuts himself and runs off into the sunset with harry who has cigarette burns and was raped by vernon at the age of two and a half only to be rescued from the evil clutches of dumbledore by snape" fic than a thoughtful exploration of canon. Unfortunately. I mean, look at how low the Bing Bang turnout was.
OK< I'll stop spamming
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Date: 2006-06-20 10:36 pm (UTC)Not to be snarky, but in the interest of discussion, what exactly do you mean by 'thoughtful exploration of canon'? Personally (and I can't make a point without bringing myself/my writing into it, I'm self-centred like that), I do take trouble with my fics and have never written about cutting, burning, raping or veelas. I try to avoid fandom cliches, points of great irritation to discerning readers etc, but mostly I just write what I want.
The point I want to make is that for me, fanfic was about supplying the relationships lacking in canon. JK is an adventure fantasy writer, not a romantic novelist. However, I read the books from a romance reader POV. There was never enough romance for me; so my fic is always about relationships. I don't think I'm alone in that. So, by 'canon exploration', do you mean 'The life and times of Mundungus Fletcher' or 'more carefully crafted fics along the lines of ___ in the time of ___"?
Er?
It's late, I may be making a mountain out of a molehill here. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-20 10:55 pm (UTC)So, by 'canon exploration', do you mean 'The life and times of Mundungus Fletcher' or 'more carefully crafted fics along the lines of ___ in the time of ___"?
Well, both really, as long as it's well-written. I don't think that fics have to be some sort of extension of meta, if that's how you understood my use of "exploration". I just meant that that whether they build on canon (like relationship fics, or future fics, or whatever) or reinterpret it (like AUs and mindfuck fics), good fics should still be *based* on canon, and not toss it out at the author's convenience, you know?