[wait by the light of the moon]
Sep. 26th, 2005 03:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaReading `The Art of Walking Backwards', which is shaping up to be a wonderful Bring Back Black fic, I'm thinking about the idea of Remus wanting to bring Sirius back for Harry, because he needs him-- because he shouldn't have to survive alone like Remus has had to, and....
I was just thinking how a large part of the 'justification' or philosophy for H/D had been that Harry is lonely-- that he needs someone who's all his, to keep, you know.... Especially because we all thought after Sirius, he'd be broken in some way and just like Remus thought in this fic, he couldn't take anymore, and you know-- he wasn't broken after all in HBP-- and then Dumbledore died, and yet no one really seems to think he'll be broken now, even though now he's lost even more. And he's learned to let go voluntarily, with Ginny, so theoretically he should be -more- shut off and emotionally barren, shouldn't he? Is this fodder, then, for the people who'd always claimed Harry has to go on alone, not paired with anyone, 'cause he's the hero (which I'd always strenuously disagreed with, 'cause that's just not JKR at all).
And yet-- and yet-- I think for all his losses and the strain, it's just hit me that... I don't think Harry's lonely at this point, not anymore. I think that's a large part of why I've been sort of at a standstill with my Harry characterization-- because where HBP ended, I think he realized what was important to him. He realized what he would fight for, and now he's not just rolling with the punches, he's not just taking it. I think he found a sense of purpose and control over his life which Remus never had, because he was a werewolf and powerless in ways Harry never was. Harry is not powerless, and even without his parents or Sirius or Dumbledore, he's not alone. He's not like Remus at all. He has Ron and Hermione, and he has a purpose, and he has the innate capability to win and defeat that which had made him powerless-- unlike Remus, he has an enemy he can actually fight, because the enemy isn't himself.
I keep feeling bewildered, on some level, by the people who see HBP through shippy glasses (forget H/Hr or H/D or R/Hr), because it wasn't about any of those to me-- and no, I don't mean it was H/Hr/R, except it was, but not that way. They faced a rift and they overcame it, and I really feel the three of them are stronger than ever, and the truth is, Harry doesn't need Ginny because he has them. Ginny's... nice, but not essential, and he knows it, and that's why he can let her go. That's why he can be strong and feel sad about Dumbledore without suppressing it-- because he's learned to lean a little, I think.
Just as Draco has had his world knocked out from under him, I think Harry has found his grounding at last, which has been there all along, of course. He knows where his strength is, and it's not that love is beside the point, it's that he has it. He didn't make the mistake James & Remus & Sirius made in mistrusting each other-- so he's all right the same way they would have been if they'd stuck together. He'll be okay.
(And while I'm so happy for Harry, in ficcish terms... man, it couldn't be less inspiring.)
~~
Also, I'd just like to say,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
coldbeverage's Crabbe & Goyle are what they look like in my head, and why slash with either of them... um... puzzles me. Canon, baybe! Also, omg, Ron & Hermione arguing is just kind of... painfully cute. And woooowwww, nassima's Azkaban!Padfoot o_0 WHOAH. And actually, the whole hp_details comm is making me all wide-eyed, especially things like these visualizations of the four Common Rooms o_0 Now I want to write things set there! And zomg, Hogwarts! And Hogwarts lake! I think I might be a little obsessed... Ahhh, the Burrow...!..!.!!... I think I'm going to cry.
OMG, this is... er... almost my Remus.... Or maybe this one by Ashley is closer. Um. There are so many at the Full Moony, and yet nothing totally fits. This one's definitely alpha!Remus-- you can sort of see him smoking a cigar and being droll, ahahah. Ashley's one S/R is really kinda hot, though. Possibly... possibly I love this Remus by Julie Thomson best. (Oh, and-- all the Remus pics, you'd have to copy & paste the link to see.) And then we havefools_trifle's S/R Celtic knot(!!!) ...aaand I'm done (for).
I was just thinking how a large part of the 'justification' or philosophy for H/D had been that Harry is lonely-- that he needs someone who's all his, to keep, you know.... Especially because we all thought after Sirius, he'd be broken in some way and just like Remus thought in this fic, he couldn't take anymore, and you know-- he wasn't broken after all in HBP-- and then Dumbledore died, and yet no one really seems to think he'll be broken now, even though now he's lost even more. And he's learned to let go voluntarily, with Ginny, so theoretically he should be -more- shut off and emotionally barren, shouldn't he? Is this fodder, then, for the people who'd always claimed Harry has to go on alone, not paired with anyone, 'cause he's the hero (which I'd always strenuously disagreed with, 'cause that's just not JKR at all).
And yet-- and yet-- I think for all his losses and the strain, it's just hit me that... I don't think Harry's lonely at this point, not anymore. I think that's a large part of why I've been sort of at a standstill with my Harry characterization-- because where HBP ended, I think he realized what was important to him. He realized what he would fight for, and now he's not just rolling with the punches, he's not just taking it. I think he found a sense of purpose and control over his life which Remus never had, because he was a werewolf and powerless in ways Harry never was. Harry is not powerless, and even without his parents or Sirius or Dumbledore, he's not alone. He's not like Remus at all. He has Ron and Hermione, and he has a purpose, and he has the innate capability to win and defeat that which had made him powerless-- unlike Remus, he has an enemy he can actually fight, because the enemy isn't himself.
I keep feeling bewildered, on some level, by the people who see HBP through shippy glasses (forget H/Hr or H/D or R/Hr), because it wasn't about any of those to me-- and no, I don't mean it was H/Hr/R, except it was, but not that way. They faced a rift and they overcame it, and I really feel the three of them are stronger than ever, and the truth is, Harry doesn't need Ginny because he has them. Ginny's... nice, but not essential, and he knows it, and that's why he can let her go. That's why he can be strong and feel sad about Dumbledore without suppressing it-- because he's learned to lean a little, I think.
Just as Draco has had his world knocked out from under him, I think Harry has found his grounding at last, which has been there all along, of course. He knows where his strength is, and it's not that love is beside the point, it's that he has it. He didn't make the mistake James & Remus & Sirius made in mistrusting each other-- so he's all right the same way they would have been if they'd stuck together. He'll be okay.
(And while I'm so happy for Harry, in ficcish terms... man, it couldn't be less inspiring.)
~~
Also, I'd just like to say,
coldbeverage's Crabbe & Goyle are what they look like in my head, and why slash with either of them... um... puzzles me. Canon, baybe! Also, omg, Ron & Hermione arguing is just kind of... painfully cute. And woooowwww, nassima's Azkaban!Padfoot o_0 WHOAH. And actually, the whole hp_details comm is making me all wide-eyed, especially things like these visualizations of the four Common Rooms o_0 Now I want to write things set there! And zomg, Hogwarts! And Hogwarts lake! I think I might be a little obsessed... Ahhh, the Burrow...!..!.!!... I think I'm going to cry. OMG, this is... er... almost my Remus.... Or maybe this one by Ashley is closer. Um. There are so many at the Full Moony, and yet nothing totally fits. This one's definitely alpha!Remus-- you can sort of see him smoking a cigar and being droll, ahahah. Ashley's one S/R is really kinda hot, though. Possibly... possibly I love this Remus by Julie Thomson best. (Oh, and-- all the Remus pics, you'd have to copy & paste the link to see.) And then we have
fools_trifle's S/R Celtic knot(!!!) ...aaand I'm done (for).
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 01:56 am (UTC)If Harry wanted someone that badly in a romantic sense, well... it could be anyone, couldn't it? And if it could be anyone, it doesn't matter much who it is.
That said, I also like the non-essentialness of Ginny to Harry as a means to break them up in my head, because I am horrible and focused that way. But yeah... HBP helped me so much more with Harry characterisation in my head than it did with Draco's. I was really happy with Draco's, but not shocked, whereas Harry's new chill-ness with relationships, feeding Dumbledore Evil Juice... it did surprise. In a good way!
Almost made the case with me for total top Harry. BUT NOT QUITE.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 02:31 am (UTC)Hehe, the non-essentialness of Ginny suddenly gave me a burst of hope, it's... odd.
Hee... feeding Dumbledore Evil Juice was like... whoah. Possibly one of my favorite/most intense scenes in the book. I dunno if I'm -comfy- with HBP!Harry yet, though, 'cause I like him angsty/desperate/on edge the same way I like Draco obsessed with Harry... damn me & my biases.... Harry's really growing up :( It's sad :( But probably good for nondysfunctional!H/D, were one to, um, like that sort of thing. :>
Also-- HEHEHE, I WILL WORK ON YOU MORE WHEN I SEE YOU! Possibly tagteam with Sara! And then we will show you top!Harry porn until your eyes bleed and VICTORY SHALL BE OURS!!1 >:D
...Though, you know, my Harry isn't really a total top, he's just pushy at first (and Draco's, um, differently pushy... how's that for PC) :>
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 02:39 am (UTC)Harry not being Love's Bitch is Verreh Pleasing to me, since I think I wrote that out of my system.
And, you know, still lots of potential for Fucked Up. Because Harry fed Dumbledore that stuff! Because he's ice! And if it did actually kill Dumbledore then Harry as good as killed him! And Draco will be all fucked up because Harry had the Bottle To Kill, and Harry will be all messed up because he's supposed to be the good one... and the only answer will be madness and fury!
no subject
Date: 2005-09-29 02:51 am (UTC)get alongwrite about [their] cocks, free and equal for alll......Does this mean it's now time for your Draco to be Love's Bitch...?
No...?
...It was worth a try -.-
I think I just don't know where to turn in this brave new world of neither of them being each other's bitches. It's cold, lonely and scary and uh... difficult to characterize....
He's ICE!! AHAHAHAHALKFjsa;fkjads;lsksjlgkjfdkgkk;lfd Ice-prince!Harry = CRACK. I... I think I'm in love ♥♥♥ Poor Draco, having to FEEL THE BURN. Man, I think I just had a beautific-smile moment.
HEEE! I can totally see how Harry shuts down after that One Golden Day With Ron & Hermione, 'cause now he has to Get Down To Business and he Can't Afford To Lose Anyone so he has to be, like... Tough and Get The Job Done, and now Dumbledore's not around to tell him 'uh, Harry, you're freaking me out here', so!! HARRY, THE PERFECT SOLDIER IS BORN <333333333333333333 Or... that may not have been what you meant... um.