~~ the virtues of not respecting one's character

[reenka]

I think I'm entering another 'bah-- HP??!' phase, where I find certain things written about in fandom either boring, annoying or just wrong. Those 'things' would be er... Draco. This is a problem to an H/D shipper, no?

So I think I'm... taking another fandom break right about now.


I think it used to be that I got into H/D because I loved certain writers' view of it, and then I just fell in love with the idea behind it. It's not that I loved Draco or Harry, it's that I loved their fic potential.

Now... I've gotten -so- frustrated, especially considering I haven't written much for months and haven't read fic that really clicked in even longer, that I just... am really easy to irritate by a jarring note in characterization, mood, etc; something that isn't so much OOC as annoying. On the other hand, pretty much everyone's Draco annoys me to some extent, and the people who always made me love him aren't writing anymore.

Basically, I don't care if icy, confident and competent Draco is OOC... what I care about is that he pisses me off like no tomorrow when he suddenly is 'better' than Harry. I mean... is he not the biggest jerk on the planet? And not in a cool-sexy-yeah sort of way, like, uh... Tsukasa (from Hana Yori Dango... it's an anime). I think it's that I always like hot-headed jerks and never like cool-as-ice jerks (though they're everywhere... and I don't hate them if they don't win... if they lose, well, I may not shed a tear-- ahh, Nakago-- but I don't gloat or anything). The other thing that is absolutely necessary for me is that the jerk has to be fought by the love interest-- he must (must, MUST) be kicked in the pants. It's... it's a law of universe! It's what they're born for!

So even thinking about a scenario where The Jerk actually teams up with The Best Friend to kick the Hero in the pants... that's just... that's enough to make me want to give up altogether.

I mean, I have tolerance for certain people writing about pretty much anything, but.... The thing I always disliked is how having one hobby, for me, can overwhelm all other hobbies I could possibly have. So if I read HP, I don't read virtually anything else. And that gets me angry at myself and makes me view fannishness as some sort of leech on my system rather than any kind of entertainment. Eh.

This is mostly inspired by me curling my toes in rage at a depiction of uber-dom!Draco (when I think about it... it's really kind of odd that I ever like Draco, considering the way so many people write him... I think it's just that when I see him from anything but the inside of his head, he makes me feel like I just ate something really really sour. Bleh. My handful of favorite writers being the exception, of course, but especially Maya & hackthis-- remember when she wrote Harry POV...? Ahh, those were the days.) Ahahaha, though in retrospect this makes me laugh. Okay, enough fandom angst. I've been happily reading yaoi manga past few days, anyway. HP, what? There are pretty boys fucking everywhere, wheeee!

I saw Rent on Broadway with my mom yesterday, ahahah. The lesbian couple was rather hot, and seeing as how I have a one-track mind, I immediately decided the sniping & the omg-love-me-I'm-a-sex-goddess Maureen chick was So Like Draco Omg. Because yes, I am that easy, and I see Draco pretty much everywhere. Yes, I dislike him, really, LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY ISSUES OKAY!!1 Anyway, just because he lives in my head doesn't make him welcome, and some people make me actually want to see him suffer. Onwards, then.
~~

In the Rent playbill, there's a quote from Harvey Fierstein on playing Tevye the Dairyman from Fiddler on the Roof. He says, "this is a really scary part. It's a great part, and I have a lot of respect for it-- which I'll have to get rid of right away, because you can't play somebody you respect. You have to play somebody you can identify with."

i thought that was fascinating, and so true for writers, too. I think this question of which characters one writes best has been on my mind for a while, and there's been contradicting reports-- some people can only write characters they like or click with or are attracted to, especially from that character's point of view-- and it's much rarer to find someone who writes to explore the perspective of those they don't quite understand or possibly don't even like. I've always found writing from within the shoes of the character which presses your ugly buttons to be fascinating... it tells you so much about yourself as a writer, I think. Teaches you to be honest, to be objective perhaps. At least one could say it helps write the other characters' interactions with that one better.

Basically, I think respecting a character distances you from them. And a writer and an actor both have to be able to have zero distance, even if they do have it when they need it, too. And while there's such a thing as self-respect, this only applies to real people. Characters... I think my feeling with them comes closer to pride if they do well.


But there's a definite divide between respect (or admiration) and an ability to truly understand someone up close, isn't there? If you like someone a lot, you're so much more likely to smudge the things that don't fit into your beautiful-happy image of them, and much more likely to make too many other characters like them or want them to an unrealistic extent. Or perhaps it could be confined to -one- other character, like their Significant Other, being too enamoured of them, too understanding, too submissive, too dominant, too committed-- whatever's important to you as the writer.

I've always had the opposite problem, it seems-- I can't write characters if I respect them or admire them. I loved and respected Spock horribly, and couldn't write a word about him (and even without knowing about the idea of 'fanfiction', I did try). I have heavy-duty writer's block trying to write Snape or really anyone I consider to have an aura or appearance that demands respect. So yeah, I have to work on that... probably by trying to find the thing about them that isn't admirable, that shouldn't be respected-- and work from that. I should've asked myself, "what do I find ridiculous and stupid about Spock?" and worked from there.

And that's why I write Draco even though my opinion of him isn't the highest-- it's just so easy to disrespect him, isn't it? He's such a loser. And with Harry, it took me a while, but especially after OoTP, I realized he had this ridiculous temper, and horrible problems with walling himself off from people, and huge trust issues, and he was basically an asshole sometimes, but he still made me want to cuddle him because I saw where he was coming from and hurt with him. He's not cool because of that-- and he's not anything more or less than what he is. A boy, just like any other boy. A boy with problems. A boy with needs. A boy with dreams. This is someone I can write.

I think this applies to writing and acting both: before you can really write or express the inner self of a character, one should ask them, what do you need? What do you dream about? What are you ashamed of? What are you afraid of? What is the worst thing you've ever done? What do you regret the most? What keeps you up at night? What makes you want to shrivel up and die? What makes you laugh? Who would you rather be? What do you think you want? What turns you on the fastest? What makes you want to kill things?

That's a start, isn't it?

Get rid of your respect. Find the roots of your emotional kinship.

Comments

[featherduster.livejournal.com]

It's so funny that you mention how Draco Is Completely Like Maureen. Or the other way around. Annie [shatter_glass] and I just saw R E N T on broadway -- this past Friday, in fact -- and it didn't even occur to me, but now that you mention it, I see it completely. :D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hee :D Nevermind me, I'd see Draco in a splatter of ketchup, probably >:D Ketchup/mustard = H/D!!1 hehe But yes. Especially when Maureen gets on the table and sings about how Joanne should love her for who she is, and everyone wants into her pants which isn't -her- problem, and how she's -hers- and really, isn't that enough?? WHEEE >:D

[featherduster.livejournal.com]

And then, of course, she's off at the Life café with her mouth attached to someone else's -- obviously, that person is not Joanne. But... -giggles- imagining Draco doing the performance and, well, mooing? Brings tears of laughter to my eyes.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

OMG that makes the comparison even more perfect!! THE MOOING!!1 Omg, Draco and his limerick songs and WEASLEY IS OUR KING and dressing up as a Dementor and the million lame things he did for a Righteous Cause (which is to obliterate Potter!!1) OMG IT IS PERFECT :D He would so totally Moo For The Glory Of Slytherin >:D

[featherduster.livejournal.com]

Draco mooning Benny. Draco mooing with the audience. Draco stomping on tables because He Wants to be Loved. Draco mooing for the right to help those poor, helpless, homeless mudbloods! oh, the irony of this comparison. :D -cackles- I wonder what he would think of us comparing him to a crowd-mooning, attention craving, cowbell ringing lesbian. ;)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Ahahah I think he would vow vengeance upon us, blush scarlet and wallow in impotent rage as I laughed and laughed <3 See, this is why I love Draco <3 AAHAHAH BECAUSE HE IS SEKRITLY A MUDBLOOD-LOVING LESBIAN >:D

[shatterglass.livejournal.com]

Um yeah that. -runs away-

[shatterglass.livejournal.com]

I just saw it too! -loves on you- Angel was so wonderful. Of course, I can't compare it to anything--except for the soundtrack, I suppose--it was my first time. Ummm. Yeah.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heheh in terms of the plot, it's a lot like Le Boheme, which is an opera where there's these two homeless-squatter artists in Paris and a flower-girl who visits to borrow a light for a candle, and then falls in love with the artists guy, and they squabble but then she gets sick and he leaves her because he can't bear to watch her die, but then she's found, all half-dead from pneumonia on the street, and they bring her to their attic, and then she dies. Um.

I liked Rent a lot better >:D Yum, the music especially. Ooooh, especially the Today song :D

[shatterglass.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know it was based on Le Boheme, which I've heard is incredibly depressing, and it sounds like you can second that, and yeah. Rent was so cool. I really don't have any intelligent thoughts about it yet--mostly I'm still in shock. Great musical theater does this to me.

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

So I think I'm... taking another fandom break right about now.
Haha, I just had a very Ross Gellar moment: "We were ON a BREAK!"
...Cause clearly everything in life is an episode of 'Friends'. At least to me. :)

I have never seen 'Rent'. I feel my life is severely lacking. Seriously!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heee :D I wish my life was an episode of Friends. Then everything people I knew did would be goofy or ridiculous. Oh wait, it already is :> Some people... don't really have a sense of humor, though. They exist. THEY LIVE. THEY MULTIPLY. THEY... THEY FUNCTION IN SOCIETY. THEY HAVE... NORMAL LIVES. *shudder*



...We could see Rent together next time (anytime) you're on Broadway, if you like :D They have tickets for $20, though admittedly it's by lottery ;)

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

I don't understand how people don't have a sense of humor, man. Like, even if they themselves aren't particularly funny, to just...not be able to understand & appreciate humor. *sigh* It must be sad for some people. Except probably not. I know this one girl who just...like, every time I crack a nerdy joke, she's just like "???" I mean, maybe I'm just not that funny. Probably not. But still. Sometimes people are just too serious & I just want to say, 'COME ON PEOPLE! Laugh! It's not that difficult!'...Or something.

Yay, it's a date, baybee! Hehe. I'll (hopefully) be in NY sometime this year...I mean, no particular plans, it would just be cool to go. Cause, why the hell not. That's the way I make most of my decisions, because clearly I am (not) of a scientific mind, and stuff.

(Also, I feel you on your not-being-able-to-write-stuff-for-months woe. Which is why I, inexplicably, have signed up for a fiction writing workshop this semester...? *is lame*)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

The more I think about it, the sadder it seems. I mean, it's not -quite- so bad as being blind, deaf or crippled, but, y'know, DAMNED CLOSE, man. It can't really be that you're just not funny, 'cause I know -I- laugh at everything and anything remotely amusing in some alternate universe where... er... people sneezing wrong was funny. Or something. You know what I mean. I realize I have my own issues >:D

On the other hand, I'm so easily manipulated by humor. Say, the message of the humor goes against my grain entirely... if it's cute & amusing, I can't bear to dislike it. Such is my woe. I just skimmed a bottom!Harry fic today... and it had like, crossdressing and voyeurism and all that good stuff, and it was -cute-, and I was like, OWW MY BRAIN :> How can people who believe in top!Draco be cute and charming..??! And yet :D By the same token, if I agree with you but you're a humorless dud, what does it matter, right? Eh, hollow victories.

I think... I think it's like... humor was actually always a huge part of why I liked Draco. He's a dork, he's a bitchy dork, he's a pissy drama-queeny begging-to-be-fucked drama-queeny rich-boy dork. No one writes him that way anymore... except you and sometimes me, I guess. *CRY* And sometimes blythely & even circe_tigana, I guess :D Oh, oh, and... well, kind of maxine_chan... and I guess Maya's still in business, kind of.... okay I feel better now :D


Anyway, it's like, it used to be that I wrote fic in large part as a response to other people's fic, y'know. And... other people aren't inspiring me, by and large, and their Dracos piss me off. La. Mostly, it's normal to have dry spells-- though in my experience, writing workshops and exercises and being in an environment where you're writing -with- other people is really inspiring. That's why I used to see fandom as one big writing workshop. Which it's not anymore. *BEATS FANDOM WITH ICKLE PHALLIC STICK OF DOOM*

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I just think that...like, my day has truly been made when I've laughed, and I don't mean just 'oh haha what a silly joke' but, like, gasping-for-air-with-tears-streaming-down-my-face laughing. Which usually happens in public. Like, generally in coffee shops. And then people look at me and my friends strangely, because we are loud & annoying. But we are gleaming joy from life, dammit! Um.

But then, I have a very specific taste in humor, so for me it's not so much that I can't bear to dislike it, as you said, cause...I'm fickle & shallow, or something. Heh. Like, most TV sitcoms, for example, I can watch & just not laugh at. Because...they just aren't funny. So I don't feel bad about not liking them, maybe. Man, I'm such a hypocrite, haha, cause here I am talking about 'oh those poor people who have no sense of humor!' & then I'm all 'that's not funny, bitches!' So yeah.

Oh Draco...I swear, I don't (...didn't?) even like him that much! And yet, he's just so easy to write, because...yes, the things you listed. (Annnd he is easy! Don't you ever forget it!) What a lame ass bastard, for real. It's like, he sucks (stop mocking my word choice, you know you are) and yet...and yet...I am drawn to him. He's like the bad boy your mother always tells you you can't date in high school, y'know, except that...um...he's camp as a row of tents, and is not a bad boy, and other things. BUT.

I'm sorry you're not feeling inspired. :( I wish you could spontaneously be inspired, or something, although clearly not cause people aren't writing stuff that's doing that for you. Woe. There should be a fandom workshop on lj, haha. 'I feel that your Draco is too ice-princey, and there is not enough snogging. Also, falafels. You should add falafels.' Okay, maybe not, but I pretend. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I've often felt like that when I was down, especially-- and then I really laugh once that day, and suddenly I got that feeling like it was worth it to get up or something (...which sounds morbid, but). Anyway, I was trying to tie that humor thing in with Draco, and how with the collective mostly-departure of my favorite H/D humorfic authors... meh. What we're left with is icy-top!Draco cackling at Harry's pain, veela!Draco rutting against startled!Harry, and really-gay-yet-sophisticated!Draco strutting (elegantly) while Harry drools. I think I should actually name -all- the Dracos I can come up with, just, y'know, to scare people (more).

Heheh I'm the quiet type in public until I get going, and then I don't even have to be loud to disturb people around me in That Special Reena Way >:D *proud*

'Tis true, about TV sitcoms. Hmmm. They're so recycled... like... uh... unorganic, if you know what I mean. Like, compared to stand-up and SNL and various Comedy Channel live-audience & cartoon things... they feel so limp. When I watch stand-up... almost all stand-up... ahhhhh, beauty. Better than porn, even >:D

Easy-breezy-beautiful-coverboY >:D :D :D :D :D OMG DRACO IN THE HERBAL ESSENCES COMMERCIAL BEING COOED OVER BY RANDOM MEN IN SUITS. *falls over*
AS HE FLIPS HIS HAIR
...There needs to me a doujinshi... like... Harry could sweatdrop a lot and Draco could have like... volumized hair. And tight pants... pink... with polka-dots. Harry would wear suits-- unbuttoned at the top... with ties Draco picks out for him, even though they're not together.... AHAHAH I SMELL A CRACKFIC COMING ON :D

I'm often spontaneously inspired, man. I'm almost -continuously- inspired, it's just that it's a bother writing. My love for H/D is kinda... drowning in apathy and angst. And also I think I wrote so much porn and then I burnt out... and maybe it's that porn isn't The Answer all by itself... there needs to be that shwing, baby. Because otherwise it don't mean a thing, etc.

Draco -thinks- he's a bad boy, though. Awww, the adorable little munchkin. But at least he can dress (someone else) the part ;))

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, you should name all the Dracos you can think of. I mean, why not. I don't even discern, really, between Dracos when I read fic (and this is mostly because I don't read much fic at all), and if I do discern, it's like: Draco I like, or Draco I don't. (And I mean that in terms of the way it's written, like, not in terms of 'oh look he is so wee and cute, heehee!' Because...no. He is not cute. Except when he is, but then that is, like, cuteness-born-of-extreme-bastardiness-and-lameness.)

Yeah, I like stand-up a lot as well, but I don't like the ones where you can tell the comedian has practiced the routine. Like, all mechanical, 'So the other day I was at the store, right...' NOOOOO. That ruins it, it must be spontaneous! Or else I shall refuse to laugh! So there! Um. But it makes me laugh if they start to laugh at their own jokes, cause then I know they are just secretly (or not-so secretly) losahs like moi. In terms of sitcoms, like...I really like 'Scrubs' & 'Arrested Development' &...like, I can't really think of much else that's out right now that I really enjoy. Whenever I'm feeling really down about The State of Humor Nowadays, I just watch anything with...well, for example, John Cleese & that cheers me right up. And has me rolling on the floor with glee.

But really, I mean, I giggle (& am at least somewhat amused) by a wide variety of things. I guess it's just...there's not many things in terms of humor which I truly love-with-all-the-fury-of-my-tarty-little-soul. Except Draco, clearly. When it's done right. Because, oh baby, <333333. And stuff.

AHAHAHA CRACKFIC! Mannnnnnn. Heee! Mmm Harry with a tie. And the unbuttoned shirt! *lusts* OhgodIneedalife. Except not.

My love for H/D is kinda... drowning in apathy and angst.
:( Thusly....break = good plan, I think. This way you're not reading stuff so it's impossible to get disappointed with it, right? Or something. And also you can write as you're inspired (if you're inspired). And if not, um. We shall cross that bridge when we come to it. One step at a time! Bravely onward! Etc, etc, blah blah. :)

doujinshi
...I do not know this word. Perhaps I'm an un-nerd?

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I like listing things, and Draco-lists are just another variety of list. I don't actually realize 'this is THIS kind of Draco' at the time, but in retrospect I can definitely peg them. This is like... how I organize them in my head :D Ahahaha WHERE THEY BREED. In Reena's Head Labs (Inc.) Because when Little Dracos are... little, they're actually bunnies... in my head... cute fluffy sharp-toothed little bunnies. They go straight for the crotch, too. Nasty little buggers. They sink their little teeth and THEY DON'T LET GO.

I think Draco's cute in the books, especially CoS ("...You can read!") Lame-type cute, but still cute. If he wasn't, he'd just be a pathetic annoying loser, which... has limited appeal, when all's said and done. Which is why it COMPLETELY MYSTIFIES me when I see people claiming (http://www.livejournal.com/users/ryokoblue/122440.html?mode=reply) that just because Draco wouldn't WANT to bottom, that means he WOULDN'T. As if what Draco wants, Draco gets. Where do people get that UTTERLY INSANE IDEA??! MOMMY, I DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAND. *cries*

And you know what the funny thing is? I'd started out writing fanfic partly 'cause I wanted to give Draco what he wanted (Harry) or watch him flop pathetically in unrequited lust (either or). I mean, that's a fun pastime right there. It's those people who're so enamoured of him that they feel giving him what he wants is NECESSARY and RIGHT that... turn me off completely :/ That's just blatant and stupid favoritism and that's actually what I was ranting about in my post :>

One of my favorite stereotypical relationships is uptight-guy-in-suit meets flamboyant-guy-in-hotpants. It's a match made in many, many a series, but I can't get enough of the stereotypes, I guess. It's funny, 'cause people say, 'OMG I'M SO TIRED OF TEH EV01 STEREOTYPE, OMG!!1'... whereas if I like it, I'm just like an obsessive little rat pushing the pedal for the sugar-lump until my paw falls off. I think with H/D, my paw's about falling off from the pedal-pushing, heh. It's been... 2 & a half years, though, so NO SURPRISE THERE :> I was into Star Trek till it made me literally SICK to look at another Star Trek pic or book. I mean literally, I read them until I was nauseous, about 3 years later. It took me like, 7 years to read another Star Trek fic :>

I <3 crackfic. It is truly a pure & joyous thing. :D *sparkle*

Also, doujinshi = Japanese fan-comics... of official comics & anime & stuff. They actually sell their fan-comics & it's a whole industry in Japan. THIS IS WHY JAPAN IS THE ULTIMATE FAN'S PARADISE. *SWOONS*

[stellabelle.livejournal.com]

Heee, I heart lists. Probably because I never make them. Wait, I lie. I do, but then I just...ignore them. I have a list on my desk right now of all the things I'm supposed to do tomorrow and, like, they will get done, somehow, but just...not how/when they're meant to be. I am unconventional, and lazy. Clearly. But then...I suppose I'm mostly always making some sort of list in my head...like, analyzing stuff. Like you, I don't realize I'm doing it till later. It's strange how I really am anal, despite being totally not...if that makes sense.

As if what Draco wants, Draco gets.
HAH! He is a LOSER, dudes. He ain't never gonna get it, or if he does, he's going to have to work for it. (I just got this freakish mental image of Draco 'workin' it' a la supermodel style. Um. AUGH.)

That's just blatant and stupid favoritism and that's actually what I was ranting about in my post :>
A-ha, gotcha. I totally see where you're coming from.

...I think you're burnt out from the H/D. :( Which makes me sad, obviously. But the burnt-out factor is totally reason #1 for break time. I can't relate at all, really, cause...um...I don't write much & read even less, so. But *sigh* And also, <3!

Haha, crackfic is, like, the best thing ever, to read and write. Mmmfun. Mmmboys. It makes my life happy, and this kind of crack will not burn a hole through one's nose. Which is always good, not that I know of these things. But still.

Fan comics? Wonder how I did not know of this before, but sounds v cool! :)

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Right on, sister. Piles of stereotyped buttsex are gonna cure me from the blood-curling trauma the H/D fic has been these past weeks.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

x3<=== XD

[malafede.livejournal.com]

I like ours more.

3x<3

[pingviini.livejournal.com]

where I find certain things written about in fandom either boring, annoying or just wrong.

Why does this make me slightly nervous to have you as my H/D beta...? :P

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I was just thinking of it in that context earlier ^^;; I suppose it does sound kind of ominous. Hmmm... well, mostly I wouldn't offer if I didn't love your writing, ahahah, so you're pretty exempt from the 'boring & annoying' bits, and that was mostly me ranting about omg-I'm-so-dom-it-hurts!Draco, and other things that make me want to rant. >:D Um. I figured you'd know from following my journal that I'm rather picky & anal about some things, but like, I'm pretty easily enthused also :D

In the end, it depends on what kind of con-crit/beta type you like~:) Some people like to be reassured and gently prodded, some people like to be spanked into shape, some people just want thoughtful commentary that doesn't ever actually contradict their Main Vision or whatever... uh. Well, y'know, I just suppose it can't be that bad if I like the writer's work in general :>

Though Sara (addictedkitten) thinks I'm scary (...muwhahaha?) 'cause my betas tend to be thorough & nitpicky about some things, I try to be helpful and she didn't precisely -complain- about the pain ;))

I think I read this post about beta'ing somewhere... basically, betas are different, and some writers want 'deep reading' betaing and some don't. But I can just do a once-over if that's what you want :>

[miss-charmed.livejournal.com]

hmmmm *thinks* sometimes, sometimes, i feel like i'm reading fics purely for the smut and fluff content. Draco's character tends to get lost among all the, uh, activities.

(from Hana Yori Dango... it's an anime)
woohoo, Meteor Garden. eh.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heh. I realize I may be too picky, but for my tastes, Draco's character gets lost in angst too, more than half the time. Though sometimes I think I just disagree with most of fandom as to what Draco's character -is- or what H/D is, etc. Ahhh, this is why I need a break~:))

I never actually watched Meteor Garden, the um... Korean soap-opera, right :>

[miss-charmed.livejournal.com]

There's just way tooooo many Draco, H/D fics out there and it's quite easy to lose yourself in all of these. Your post made me pause and *reflect*... i used to be picky when it comes to Draco too. There used to be a Draco in my mind and if it's not met by a certain fic, i'd quickly stop reading. But now... gee.

Anyway, have fun with the break! Share your discoveries? :D

Hee, Meteor Garden is Chinese. Oh no, wait, Taiwanese. :p lol.

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

I just want to say that my perspective on H/D as a potential romance basically consists of Draco worshipping Harry THROUGH HATE until whatever plot device gets them together, and Draco eventually ends up bitching and moaning about bending over while he bends over.

Whether one takes that as a metaphorical bending over or a literal "go at me from behind..." well, let's just leave that up to the imagination!

Just sayin', HAHAHA!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

HEEEE!! Man, you really know how to brighten up my day >:D
...Though I'd have to add the caveat that I think he could learn to like it, 'cause really, Harry's undivided attention is what he wants, y'know >:D Though in my quest to imagine the other side of the coin, I decided I could see him being top to Goyle, say >:D

'Worshipping through hate'. That's just... beautiful :D I might even write a fic or something, I love it so :D Awww, you inspire me to greater heights of angsty H/D. Are you proud? :D

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

Though I'd have to add the caveat that I think he could learn to like it, 'cause really, Harry's undivided attention is what he wants, y'know >:D

Oh yeah! I meant at first, lol! "Bitch moan bitch moan, I always get what I want! ... So, what'd you want, eh?"

*flails* write fic! You know you want to! (and yes I am proud bwaha)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Aahh! You, with the flailing! What do you get out of it? :> You don't even read fic :))
The problem is, I did already write a fic, `Love for the Strong', er, where Draco expresses his love, such as it is, by letting Harry beat him up :)) Er, ala Buffy/Spike & 'Dead Things' :> I dunno, is that similar? :>

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

...I read some fic. Just not, you know, much!

And hmm, that seems more like worshipping through MASOCHISM, LMAO!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hehehe I suppose the masochism comes in as a desperate measure in desperate times. What's a non-masochist to do when one's hate-object wouldn't touch oneself any other way? :> eheheh. I'm really wondering about the hate-worship thing. Maybe he can er... be sadistically worshipful? Is that what you meant? Heheheh except he may want to but would fail utterly since it's -Harry- and Harry always wins :D

I was just talking about this yesterday, and it was established that it's not that Draco's a total loser, it's that he's trying to go up against a born winner :D I felt very proud :D :D :D

Hm, well, I meant you don't read H/D fic as far as I know :>

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

The hate-worship thing, haha, you're putting more thought into it than I did, HEE!

The funny thing about the whole Draco-Harry dynamic, though, is that this five (so far) year grr-argh fest began because Draco wanted to be Harry's friend, and Harry said no. Not only said no, in fact, but said no and turned him over for a guy who randomly laughed at Draco's name for like, no reason at all. That's just so interesting to me!

I was just talking about this yesterday, and it was established that it's not that Draco's a total loser, it's that he's trying to go up against a born winner :D I felt very proud :D :D :D

That's actually very true. Draco seems to be someone who, at the very least, expects to be a winner, which usually doesn't happen if you lose at everything all the time.

Hm, well, I meant you don't read H/D fic as far as I know :>

There can be exceptions!