... -.-

All right, so....

How is one meant to deal with people's stupidity without actually biting their head off and/or becoming a bitter bitch who hates everyone--?

I mean, I love everyone (er, in theory-- well, I mean, non-practically speaking... yes, this makes sense to me okay) and am patient (when it's just about thought), just... all from afar. Very, very far. When faced with actual folly, I blow up and have the urge to start yelling, even worse because I actually am a quiet person who never yells. *sigh*

I know most people would just accept it. "Oh look, people are just being dense again, tralala who cares, onwards to the next manga." And... I dunno why it always strikes me again and again, as if it's never occurred to me before. Of course, this is the secret to my happiness as well, because I can easily re-experience joy for the first time also.

I want to yell about how stupid people are, but really, I am aware I'm the one who's being stupid here. I just want impossible things. I want people to think more, and... I dunno, I want them to not hurt my brain by following their logic. Really, what needs to change here is me, not them, because it's not their responsibility to make my brain feel more comfortable, but. I just. This is why I avoid people, I guess... so easily frustrated.... No way of reconciling my own level of understanding with a lesser one without going bonkers. Also why I sort of lose it if I'm misunderstood too much. I should never be a teacher.
    Ironically, of course I have an internship/job at the design office at campus teaching an html workshop. *facepalm* And I hope you understand, none of this is actually intended to mean I'm certain I'm right-- just that regardless of what I theoretically know is possible or likely (ie, that I'm at least partly wrong and the other people may also have a point I'm not acknowledging though usually I -see- it, dammit, behind the huge error they'd made), my gut reactions remain.

I mean, my last boyfriend, my biggest issue with him was that he didn't automatically 'get' everything about me, and... I mean, he got 95% of everything which is more than most people get by far, and yet it wasn't enough. Really maybe I'm just high-strung -.-

Perhaps this sort of easily set-off attitude actually comes through unintentionally on lj and this is why people think I'm scary and/or don't talk to me that much. Or something. *sigh* Yeah, that's probably true, isn't it. I mean, I don't precisely -hide- that I'm hard on certain things/ideas (though I swear, it's people's ideas that piss me off, nothing personal-- I really do separate people & ideas even if other people don't)-- so I guess maybe I come off as threatening/annoying but not in a direct enough way so that people would confront me but are rather okay just avoiding me as I avoid them. Er. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. Again. ^^;;;;

I mean, I don't think I'm intolerant, really. I just see faulty reasoning, no matter -what- the actual thought is, and react as if burnt. It's not like I can't be disagreed with-- that'd be easier to filter for, if anything, 'cause I could be more careful to only talk to people I agree with (to actually be elitist). But the problem is actually that it doesn't matter if I agree with you or not, if you seem to miss -seeing- (not agreeing with-- that doesn't matter) a point I think is important. It's that 'not seeing' that drives me insane. When I see and others don't see. It's like red cloth to a bull. A very silent yet stewing bull who avoids the red cloth altogether and goes home to rant. That would be me.

Somehow, I don't think expressing my feelings out loud to the people involved is the answer, 'cause then people -would- actually hate me and it would be no use anyway. Le sigh.