[me and Draco and the rage factor]

One of the things I've grown to realize in my long and deeply embarrassing history of obsessing over Draco is that... basically, it's difficult for me to be objective about him myself. I can differentiate easily between 'oh yes, this sounds right' and 'omg, what a bunch of bullshit', but I think that's just my innate ability in that regard-- I don't actually feel inclined to think rationally about what he's like so much as what I'd want for him to be like in a sort of... mindful fanon? Sort of like mindful meditation... except not. I don't know. I just know I'm biased.

( Cut for painfully self-indulgent navelgazing-type character meta aka bullshit. More with the meta than the character, as per usual. )

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Maybe this explains (I dunno about justifies) my reactions to hurt/comfort!Draco, say, who isn't so much out of character as... stripped of any appealing quality for me. My fearful vision of Draco becoming more and more blatantly sympathetic in post-HBP H/D fic sort of makes me cringe and back away. Not that he wasn't always whitewashed in one way or the other most of the time, but there was a strong vein of fanon!Draco where he was... uber-Slytherin. Cold, calculating, with no real fascination and only disdain for Gryffindors/Dumbledore/etc, most likely with Zabini as his best friend (whywhywhyyy) and the whole House in the palm of his hand. Oh, and long passages about his respect for his thoughtful, cultured parents and how Lucius is really quite a reasonable guy. Not that I like that, especially if it leads to invulnerability, in effect (how boring is that?) but... it's hardcore. If he's paired with Harry (while usually this necessitates a really OOC Harry that hurts my head), he doesn't tend to give an inch. Pair this with a Harry who doesn't give an inch either, and you have my ideal, naturally not really found in the wild.

Actually, with Harry... I think a lot of the things that bother me the most in fanon aren't just OOC, per se... it's more that it involves focusing on an aspect of canon (say, Harry's fixation on following Draco to get to The Truth^tm) to such an extent that it's a caricature and obscures one of the things most central in how -I- see Harry (ie, while he's driven by impulse and instinct a lot, whenever something's Important, he does think about it-- like with the Ginny vs. Ron thing.)

    There's much I don't like about the Most Likely To Be Fanon post-HBP H/D dynamic-- mostly obsessive-voyeur!Harry vs. disinterested-yet-sensitive!Draco (it makes me twitch quite violently), suddenly-reasonable!Harry (ha... ha... hahahaha), crying-repeatedly!Draco, especially if he doesn't get angry this time but cuddles into Harry's shoulder (someone just shoot me now)-- but trying to think positively, I'd like to figure out a way to allow post-HBP Draco to keep his... militant edge, I guess I'd call it (not to say rage). How to have him incorporate the effects of the confrontation with Dumbledore without having him actually want to help Harry or go over to the 'other side', so to speak? How to keep that tension of Harry and Draco's wildly opposite understandings of what's going on?

( ...how to make things as difficult as possible, in other words? heh )

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Also: I don't think there's a person left in fandom who likes blonde!Pansy besides me. I could be wrong, but brunette!Pansy isn't canon (is she??) so this makes me sad, as I like her a blonde more. I dunno, I just do.
   And finally, musesfool's latest S/R fic made me fall in love with them all over again. Oh Remus ♥♥ Just goes to show I always go for the unendingly angsty ones. Damn, I should finish my Remusfic -.-