~~you tell a story because you can, sometimes. and sometimes you write letters to yourself.

thinking about your worth as a writer is a deadly thing. completely deadly. you start off writing for yourself, and you don't -care-, just don't care about anyone else, because writing is your breath and your blood and you would die without it. you read and you write and you think, and you don't even need to talk. it's not communication and it's not masturbation, it's something higher and deeper inside you, it's your identity, and there is no judging that.

people tell you you're good, oh, keep writing-- or they don't understand at all-- or they blink at you and smile, but it doesn't matter. you aren't talking to them. you aren't thinking of them. you aren't even thinking about yourself, and that's the beauty of it. but you're just fooling yourself.

( eventually, you realize it. )