~~on reading and stories and being old-fashioned.

( here i go on about style vs plot in stories, why i read, and why i wouldn't take poetry to a deserted island. i sound weird and monotone, and i scare myself. that is all. )

am pissy. death-fics can be so, so stupid. what the hell?? "i feel angst and then i die". *smites*
that was a waste of time. ha. i wish i could just post that as a reply to the list. *laughs* "this story is pointless unless you're a masochist, but i'll just be a sadist right now and say i wish it died instead of draco, thank you and good night"
    EDIT: um. i did send an email to the list. was that a flame? that was a flame, wasn't it *facepalms* well, not really-- i said virtually -nothing- about the fic. i just said i hated this harry, this draco, and winter. i hated death-fics. i do. i do. why am i supposed to be ripped apart by these stupid scenarios where people die for no reason? no. fucking. reason. that's just-- there's enough of that in real life. if i wanted senseless death i'd turn on the news, thankyouverymuch. well, i'd be nice if the writing was awesome. but it wasn't. so all i'm left with is a "angst. angst. numbness. fatalism. angst. kissing. snow. death." o_0

yo, that's just not cool, man..

~~yet -more- art links. also, subtext & text & jonathan rhys-meyers is... well.

i know i said i was a style slut. but that's really not the whole of the truth, because obviously, i'm also a slash slut.

and. oh...my...god. X Art is so realistic, so true-to-life-- so. fucking. hot. (and yes, this is the person who made harry/snape make sense to me against my will, back in june). i don't seem to care who the picture's of. yes, i've squeed at a han/luke slash-pic..! the lord have mercy on my soul..! (*is han/leia `shipper*) *facepalms*
    the star wars art is all beyond yummy-- i mean-- this just corrupts my soul, but i don't mind-- and this-- and this-- yeah, i don't really care who it is, but it's nice when i've `shipped them before (ie, obi-wan/qui-gon). she draws uber-realistic kissing and skin-tones and extreme likenesses of actors and it's just, beyond hot. so, like, yeah. you can thank me later *grins*
~~

i have also decided jonathan rhys-meyers makes a great draco.
corrupt me, baby. yeah baby yeah. if only he wasn't black-haired & slightly too gorgeous. sigh. doesn't he look arrogant and high-born and icy?? isn't it adorable??! *squeeeeeeee~!* i've only been looking at this page so as not to drool too much. i dunno how much this has to do with draco anymore ^^;;

i blame bhanesidhe's drawing of draco as jrm. my gahd. of course, draco isn't -that- much like The Pale Prince of Darkness (or even much like hamlet)-- but-- but. *deep breath* i'm just sayin'.

her tom and ginny is the most realistic portrayal of pretty evil!boy meets naive corrupt girl i've seen. almost no one does tom well. no one. he's always pretty but not evil. just kind of wistful, usually. and the whole recent batch of portraits, too. harry & draco with swords, and hermione, and the whole bunch. so what if they're all a little too pretty? i like pretty. gimme more pretty, my pretties...... yes. ahem. what?
~~

my reply to thamiris's latest post about seeing slash because you wanna, got me thinking about subtext and text and their relationship, and how we're all creating our own story just by the act of perceiving it (wading through it, stirring up dormant elements by our passage), and i think it's a fascinating subject. mostly...

    ``the inescapeability of subtext, how you may say whatever you want, but you could never control the subtext of it, there's always going to be things you're saying that you don't mean to, intentionally. that's how a lot of my writing is-- that's how i wind up writing anything of worth, i think. and most things of worth in general-- i would say i appreciate things about them that are at least half-way steeped in subtext. very few things have most of their weight, their brilliance, in the obvious places, in the glaringly-there places."

i love thinking that everything can't help meaning something completely aside from what the person saying it/doing it intended. it seems obvious but i still like remembering it's true. you're never who you think you are. you're never really thinking what you think you are. everything is in flux, and there are levels upon levels to everything. and you, yes you, start all these ripples and replications and echoes, every time you speak.
~~

and now for something completely different.

ha.
it's national coming out day. (w00t??)
so.
um. yes. i guess that means i can spam you all with my biness.(bwahahahah!) i guess this shows how lightly i take it and how insignificant i really think it is. slash-reading was a chance event-- i happened to find it, i realized i liked it, i kept reading it. i used to angstify about being "different" but it was never something i felt like hiding, i was just interested in knowing, for my own benefit, and knowing things isn't all that easy often enough. hiding things on purpose only happens when i'm guilty. usually that involves not doing schoolwork. ^^;
    i guess this'd be different if anyone ever paid any attention to me (in real life). but no one does. my mother believes what she wants to, and so does everyone else, and it doesn't matter what i say or what i don't say, really. people who have a problem with you as bi/queer, have a problem with you, period, and that's offensive and why are you hanging around them, anyway? so yes, this is my take on it all, if anyone ever wanted to know, which i'm sure they don't ^^;

carry on.