(who's gay?? DRACO'S GAY!!1)

[reenka]

I really wonder if it makes a serious difference that I wrote the porn snippet yesterday only for me and partly for malafede. Like. Is it possible to actually write fiction with that narrow of a target audience that only really succeeds with that audience? Not that no one else liked it, but it's not a mass pleaser by any means (and the one crit I got said it suffered from lack of setting). I mean, there's the lack of setting/characterization/etc but is it just that? It seems to me that it gained most of its meaning in context, which is: a) Harry/Draco fucking in my head-- WHEN it is in my head to start with-- needs no context, period; b) malafede's Draco (a foreign 'muse' I'm on familiar terms with-- whatever the fuck -that- means) was being sulky so my Harry was being smirky/horny (on a weird meta level that I feel awkward even approaching rationally). It's weird 'cause like, I'm so fascinated with audience when it comes to fic.

Also because I was reading musesfool's lj and she was saying how the Remus & Sirius in her head are gay, right-- and I'm not like this with most characters I have 'muses' for-- or, more precisely, I'm only like this with Draco that much, since I do think Pansy & Sirius & Remus are gay, just not so emphatically GAY. Sure, I think 'theoretically' or 'realistically' or whatever, on some uber-objective author's-intent (???! don't even want to get into that, but go with me) level he's either straight or bi.... But in my head... he's just gay. GAY. GAY in big orange letters. G-A-Y. Very gay. So gay it hurts. Veryveryveryveryvery gay, etc etc and so on and so forth. I think the reason I go on about it like that is 'cause I enjoy it. I -like- thinking of him like that. It's like... hot or something. Gay!Harry isn't hot... but gay!Draco is like... -mine- in some weird twisted (WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME) sort of way. I think it's another way of saying when I say 'cock-whore!Draco is mine' I mean Harry's. I mean he's Harry's. Therefore, when I say gay!Draco, I mean Harry's!Draco.

Hmm.
Anyway, that occurred to me 'cause jedi_penguin said that maybe musesfool is so convinced Sirius & Remus are gay because they're so exclusively each other's. I wonder if being an OTPer leads to this. Though then, I dislike Harry with anyone but Draco, but not -that- much. Can you be an imbalanced OTP-er based on the character you most identify with....? Not that I honestly identify with Draco less, actually, it's just that I'm very conscious that he's very different.

Even so, it seems to be true. My Draco is Harry's, forever and ever amen, so clearly that means he's gay (even though he might 'like' girls, ahahahah TOO BAD, LOVERBOY). But the question of whether attachment defines fictional sexuality or the other way around is a rather meta & tricky one. I think this might be why I dislike stories where it's very laid out that so-and-so is gay, therefore they are looking into the male contingent of the population. It's not slash in some vital way to me. Slash would always go 'only want boy'--> therefore 'gay by default'. Not 'realistic', but just how my slasher mind operates.
    Outside the OTP issue, though... without Harry, Draco would prolly go with a girl long-term 'cause he's a conformist but fuck boys in filthy back rooms; it would probably never occur to Harry that he -could- like boys outside of Draco/etc pouncing him, so left to his own devices, he'd be straight. I don't think my Harry gets off on boys outside of some particular one he's attracted to, just because he's rather asexual, whereas I see Draco as rather sexual but repressed. If he wasn't repressed, though, he'd be mostly gay though would fuck girls to feel dominant, the poor wanker.

Some people without 'muses' or a general vision of the characters outside of the particular story they're in might not get this, though. I've had people (well, ishuca) tell me that she doesn't have a singular Draco; I imagine not all writers do have a single version of a character-- why would they? Most 'original' fic writers don't need to have a single version, unless they write sequel upon sequel, which isn't that common. This seems to be more of an RP thing. For me it's more of a quantity-of-writing thing-- I've written the equivalent of an epic or two, word-count-wise, by now, so patterns have emerged. Surely I'm entitled to be on 'familiar terms' with the boys, so to speak :>

PS. Nothing to do with anything, but I'm so having a big ole literary crush on Virginia Woolf right now. Just sayin'.
PPS. The Theban Band can have my babies. Baby Number One: would gurgle and scream POTTER. Baby Number Two: would just sigh contendedly at the pretty full moon. ♥♥♥♥
    Also, blacksatinrose's oh-so-reasonable point-by-point S/R plausibility defense has made me nearly weepy with joy. SEE, WE'RE NOT ALL INSANE, DAMMIT!!1 >:O Though clearly, that doesn't quite apply to me. Oh well.
    EDIT - This had to be noted: ildi_bp has done the impossible: drawn such amazing Snape/Draco that I literally felt the pairing. Owwww, my -brain-!!1

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Y'know, that's really interesting 'cause I actually agree/see where you're coming from with all these accessments. My Ron & Hermione have always read as 'straight', but then, I ship them together. Obviously, I agree about Harry & Draco, but then um, Draco Is So Gay (flaming, yes), and Harry, as pov character, has most obviously been asexual up till now, yes. I dunno if I read Remus as 'gay', but then I never read him as 'straight', either, and gay makes more sense but it's just that I'm not -militant-, that is, -sure- about it unless I ship them, possibly because I just don't care as much~:)

I don't think of the ship defining the character other than as far as my sexual-orientation preferences... which otherwise would be dormant. This is probably related to the fact that I rarely write multi-character stories where some third person's sexuality ever comes into play or is even remotely significant. If I'm writing a romance, I'll just have the two-person romance (or third wheel if such applies), and the rest of the characters will just be there to interact with them on whatever non-sexual level. Since generally I don't think orientation has to influence everyday behavior, it never occurs to me to consider my stance for 'backstory' purposes, I guess...?

Your accessments seem to work on a sort of personality-defines-preference scale, which makes sense but isn't necessarily always... uh... true, I guess...? It's a good default, though. I mean, I agree that it's a safe bet to say Lucius would think gender is trivial just 'cause he's so interested in power, for instance, or that Ginny would be bi-curious at the very least 'cause she's adventurous and precocious to some extent, but people's sexual adventurousness often seems separate (if sometimes coincidental?) with overall adventurousness. I dunno. Temperament could define whether one acts on one's subliminal bisexual urges, though....?

I know what you mean, though. Ron is just... straight. He just. Is. But after slashing Harry/Ron one too many times, that hunch is just not as strong as it used to be, I suppose :> Fandom has corrupted me, I think :>