(who's gay?? DRACO'S GAY!!1)

[reenka]

I really wonder if it makes a serious difference that I wrote the porn snippet yesterday only for me and partly for malafede. Like. Is it possible to actually write fiction with that narrow of a target audience that only really succeeds with that audience? Not that no one else liked it, but it's not a mass pleaser by any means (and the one crit I got said it suffered from lack of setting). I mean, there's the lack of setting/characterization/etc but is it just that? It seems to me that it gained most of its meaning in context, which is: a) Harry/Draco fucking in my head-- WHEN it is in my head to start with-- needs no context, period; b) malafede's Draco (a foreign 'muse' I'm on familiar terms with-- whatever the fuck -that- means) was being sulky so my Harry was being smirky/horny (on a weird meta level that I feel awkward even approaching rationally). It's weird 'cause like, I'm so fascinated with audience when it comes to fic.

Also because I was reading musesfool's lj and she was saying how the Remus & Sirius in her head are gay, right-- and I'm not like this with most characters I have 'muses' for-- or, more precisely, I'm only like this with Draco that much, since I do think Pansy & Sirius & Remus are gay, just not so emphatically GAY. Sure, I think 'theoretically' or 'realistically' or whatever, on some uber-objective author's-intent (???! don't even want to get into that, but go with me) level he's either straight or bi.... But in my head... he's just gay. GAY. GAY in big orange letters. G-A-Y. Very gay. So gay it hurts. Veryveryveryveryvery gay, etc etc and so on and so forth. I think the reason I go on about it like that is 'cause I enjoy it. I -like- thinking of him like that. It's like... hot or something. Gay!Harry isn't hot... but gay!Draco is like... -mine- in some weird twisted (WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME) sort of way. I think it's another way of saying when I say 'cock-whore!Draco is mine' I mean Harry's. I mean he's Harry's. Therefore, when I say gay!Draco, I mean Harry's!Draco.

Hmm.
Anyway, that occurred to me 'cause jedi_penguin said that maybe musesfool is so convinced Sirius & Remus are gay because they're so exclusively each other's. I wonder if being an OTPer leads to this. Though then, I dislike Harry with anyone but Draco, but not -that- much. Can you be an imbalanced OTP-er based on the character you most identify with....? Not that I honestly identify with Draco less, actually, it's just that I'm very conscious that he's very different.

Even so, it seems to be true. My Draco is Harry's, forever and ever amen, so clearly that means he's gay (even though he might 'like' girls, ahahahah TOO BAD, LOVERBOY). But the question of whether attachment defines fictional sexuality or the other way around is a rather meta & tricky one. I think this might be why I dislike stories where it's very laid out that so-and-so is gay, therefore they are looking into the male contingent of the population. It's not slash in some vital way to me. Slash would always go 'only want boy'--> therefore 'gay by default'. Not 'realistic', but just how my slasher mind operates.
    Outside the OTP issue, though... without Harry, Draco would prolly go with a girl long-term 'cause he's a conformist but fuck boys in filthy back rooms; it would probably never occur to Harry that he -could- like boys outside of Draco/etc pouncing him, so left to his own devices, he'd be straight. I don't think my Harry gets off on boys outside of some particular one he's attracted to, just because he's rather asexual, whereas I see Draco as rather sexual but repressed. If he wasn't repressed, though, he'd be mostly gay though would fuck girls to feel dominant, the poor wanker.

Some people without 'muses' or a general vision of the characters outside of the particular story they're in might not get this, though. I've had people (well, ishuca) tell me that she doesn't have a singular Draco; I imagine not all writers do have a single version of a character-- why would they? Most 'original' fic writers don't need to have a single version, unless they write sequel upon sequel, which isn't that common. This seems to be more of an RP thing. For me it's more of a quantity-of-writing thing-- I've written the equivalent of an epic or two, word-count-wise, by now, so patterns have emerged. Surely I'm entitled to be on 'familiar terms' with the boys, so to speak :>

PS. Nothing to do with anything, but I'm so having a big ole literary crush on Virginia Woolf right now. Just sayin'.
PPS. The Theban Band can have my babies. Baby Number One: would gurgle and scream POTTER. Baby Number Two: would just sigh contendedly at the pretty full moon. ♥♥♥♥
    Also, blacksatinrose's oh-so-reasonable point-by-point S/R plausibility defense has made me nearly weepy with joy. SEE, WE'RE NOT ALL INSANE, DAMMIT!!1 >:O Though clearly, that doesn't quite apply to me. Oh well.
    EDIT - This had to be noted: ildi_bp has done the impossible: drawn such amazing Snape/Draco that I literally felt the pairing. Owwww, my -brain-!!1

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hahah, you didn't sound mad-- I mean, you mostly posted random snippets from the past week or whatever, so you just sounded random yet sane :> :> Maybe slightly scatter-brained~:)

I keep hoping someone will comment praising the girl!Draco and asking for some more girl!Draco action :(( AHHH THE TANGY SCENT OF WOMANHOOD. *PERVS*


...um. yeah, but. I don't like predictable things :>

[malafede.livejournal.com]

... CONSTANT DRACO BUGGERY ...

... anyway, I am afraid you're the only one who likes tangy draco.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

MY TASTES ARE SIMPLY TOO REFINED TO HAVE MASS APPEAL.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

YES, I MEAN, YOU'RE ONLY THE RABIDEST FAN OF THE HERO OF THE MAIN BLOCKBUSTER OF THE LAST DECADE--

... snap out of it, Potter. This constant self-deluding just isn't sane.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

WE'LL BLOODY TALK SELF-DELUSION WHEN YOU STOP BELIEVING EVERYTHING DEAR OLD DAD TELLS YOU, MALFOY.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

My Dad can back up his every point with scientific evidence, something I've yet to see coming from a Gryffindor. Then again, why go for logic when you can manipulate people with pathetic ploys for sympathy?

AND JUST YOU WAIT, YOU STUPID WANKER WHO PUT MY FATHER IN PRISON. PREPARE TO DIE.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

AHAHAH MORE DEATH THREATS! This should be good. I'm free Thursday, if you want to schedule, I'm afraid your father will have Tuesday and Wednesday booked as far as murder goes.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

WHO DO YOU THINK MY FATHER IS KILLING, THE FUCKING DEMENTORS? You're just so incredibly stupid, it drives me so mad, Potter. Even when you for some bloody miracle bloody know the bloody facts, you just bloody magicaly forget them. Must be fucking nice on that fucking bloody high-hose.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

OH WHAT THE FUCK.

HORSE.

THOUGH I AM SURE YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH HOSES AS WELL.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

It's only a matter of time before he's out, Malfoy, isn't that what you said? I made sure to make time for him right after Voldemort. You and your father both ask so nicely, don't you?

[malafede.livejournal.com]

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY FATHER, MUDBLOOD. You aren't good enough to lick his feet.

God, I can't believe the idiot who didn't know about Quidditch is the hero of the wizarding world. But please don't stop wanking around three feet over the ground for me, I am just another bloody mortal, AM NOT I? You think you're immortal, Potter, and it'll be fun to see your face when I prove you wrong.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

(... waNking around three feet over the ground... omg. was that freudian???)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

And I suppose you are good enough, then--?

It will be fun to see your face when you finally shut up.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

I'm good enough to make you beg. Mark my words, scarfuck. We'll see who's whimpering next time around.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I haven't laughed that hard in ages.
*walks away, laughing & shaking his head*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

I bet your father thought so, too.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Yeah, because what? Is it a family tradition where you offer-- I mean, threaten to make us whimper? *snorts*

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Nooo, Potter, why are you so dense? No Malfoy family tradition is based on the mindless confidence of Mudbloods that they'll be the one to live it out in the end.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

What is it with you and Mudbloods, Malfoy? Do you actually see any around here? Are you seeing things, because I think you should get help for that sort of thing.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Ah ah ah ah ah! Oh, God, this was your best today. You think your blood's what, pure? You know that sometimes people look at you and wonder if fame went to your head? Because it clearly did.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

My head is fine, Malfoy, thanks for caring. Your head, on the other hand, seems a bit swollen. Are you sure you're all right, because I think a number of things go to your head-- and often.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

I am only proud about the hard facts, Potter. Unlike some, who are proud about being alive.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Being alive is a hard fact, but then, sadly clear thinking isn't one of those hard facts you have to be so proud of.

i bet draco doesn't do typos... maybe

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Being alive is anything but hard, Potter. Unless you feel special because you've managed to crack your mother's cunt, which clearly you didn't do, and neither did your father, because God knows how many must have been there before.

It's just that you somehow did the impossible and convinced ninthy percent of the wizarding population that breathing is a big feat. Not surprising, since everybody who's not a Slytherin loves it when someone else thinks for them.

heh

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

You must be trying hard to get me angry, but you're wasting your time, Malfoy, seeing as I can't be bothered.