(who's gay?? DRACO'S GAY!!1)

[reenka]

I really wonder if it makes a serious difference that I wrote the porn snippet yesterday only for me and partly for malafede. Like. Is it possible to actually write fiction with that narrow of a target audience that only really succeeds with that audience? Not that no one else liked it, but it's not a mass pleaser by any means (and the one crit I got said it suffered from lack of setting). I mean, there's the lack of setting/characterization/etc but is it just that? It seems to me that it gained most of its meaning in context, which is: a) Harry/Draco fucking in my head-- WHEN it is in my head to start with-- needs no context, period; b) malafede's Draco (a foreign 'muse' I'm on familiar terms with-- whatever the fuck -that- means) was being sulky so my Harry was being smirky/horny (on a weird meta level that I feel awkward even approaching rationally). It's weird 'cause like, I'm so fascinated with audience when it comes to fic.

Also because I was reading musesfool's lj and she was saying how the Remus & Sirius in her head are gay, right-- and I'm not like this with most characters I have 'muses' for-- or, more precisely, I'm only like this with Draco that much, since I do think Pansy & Sirius & Remus are gay, just not so emphatically GAY. Sure, I think 'theoretically' or 'realistically' or whatever, on some uber-objective author's-intent (???! don't even want to get into that, but go with me) level he's either straight or bi.... But in my head... he's just gay. GAY. GAY in big orange letters. G-A-Y. Very gay. So gay it hurts. Veryveryveryveryvery gay, etc etc and so on and so forth. I think the reason I go on about it like that is 'cause I enjoy it. I -like- thinking of him like that. It's like... hot or something. Gay!Harry isn't hot... but gay!Draco is like... -mine- in some weird twisted (WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME) sort of way. I think it's another way of saying when I say 'cock-whore!Draco is mine' I mean Harry's. I mean he's Harry's. Therefore, when I say gay!Draco, I mean Harry's!Draco.

Hmm.
Anyway, that occurred to me 'cause jedi_penguin said that maybe musesfool is so convinced Sirius & Remus are gay because they're so exclusively each other's. I wonder if being an OTPer leads to this. Though then, I dislike Harry with anyone but Draco, but not -that- much. Can you be an imbalanced OTP-er based on the character you most identify with....? Not that I honestly identify with Draco less, actually, it's just that I'm very conscious that he's very different.

Even so, it seems to be true. My Draco is Harry's, forever and ever amen, so clearly that means he's gay (even though he might 'like' girls, ahahahah TOO BAD, LOVERBOY). But the question of whether attachment defines fictional sexuality or the other way around is a rather meta & tricky one. I think this might be why I dislike stories where it's very laid out that so-and-so is gay, therefore they are looking into the male contingent of the population. It's not slash in some vital way to me. Slash would always go 'only want boy'--> therefore 'gay by default'. Not 'realistic', but just how my slasher mind operates.
    Outside the OTP issue, though... without Harry, Draco would prolly go with a girl long-term 'cause he's a conformist but fuck boys in filthy back rooms; it would probably never occur to Harry that he -could- like boys outside of Draco/etc pouncing him, so left to his own devices, he'd be straight. I don't think my Harry gets off on boys outside of some particular one he's attracted to, just because he's rather asexual, whereas I see Draco as rather sexual but repressed. If he wasn't repressed, though, he'd be mostly gay though would fuck girls to feel dominant, the poor wanker.

Some people without 'muses' or a general vision of the characters outside of the particular story they're in might not get this, though. I've had people (well, ishuca) tell me that she doesn't have a singular Draco; I imagine not all writers do have a single version of a character-- why would they? Most 'original' fic writers don't need to have a single version, unless they write sequel upon sequel, which isn't that common. This seems to be more of an RP thing. For me it's more of a quantity-of-writing thing-- I've written the equivalent of an epic or two, word-count-wise, by now, so patterns have emerged. Surely I'm entitled to be on 'familiar terms' with the boys, so to speak :>

PS. Nothing to do with anything, but I'm so having a big ole literary crush on Virginia Woolf right now. Just sayin'.
PPS. The Theban Band can have my babies. Baby Number One: would gurgle and scream POTTER. Baby Number Two: would just sigh contendedly at the pretty full moon. ♥♥♥♥
    Also, blacksatinrose's oh-so-reasonable point-by-point S/R plausibility defense has made me nearly weepy with joy. SEE, WE'RE NOT ALL INSANE, DAMMIT!!1 >:O Though clearly, that doesn't quite apply to me. Oh well.
    EDIT - This had to be noted: ildi_bp has done the impossible: drawn such amazing Snape/Draco that I literally felt the pairing. Owwww, my -brain-!!1

Comments

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I've actually yet to read that homophobic slash of which so many speak, thank god. I'm just selective, I guess...? Usually those fics are just badly written too, I imagine :>
Heheheh this is all ringing weirdly in my head since I had such a thing for gender-switch in HP (not really in other fandoms... at all... ahahah THOUGH IMAGINE WOMAN!METHOS AHAHAHAH), making Harry or Draco female.... mmmm. Yeah. I've read one fic (...by Dark Victory, I think...?) where that -was- the case, and Harry & Draco hung out together as friends for a bit (hahahah) because no one else they knew was gay, and they wanted someone to talk to. It was hilarious. Just. Great. (Proof any premise can be made to shine).

Yeah, Harry's pretty asexual, though I totally think once you jump-started his engine, he'd go off like a rocket (teehee). Maybe that has to do with figuring out what someone wants from him ;))

Though yah, fics like Marysia's where Harry was the sexually-aware one and Draco was the asexual one needed to be jump-started don't -quite- click for me... though I do think Draco would be repressed about certain subjects/types of sex (...like Dahlia's Draco, ahaha). There's a Draco for every taste, man~:))

My Draco's pretty bi ('cause yeah, it does bend both ways in canon), but... I like calling him gay 'cause he's Harry's bitch and that's just too amusing to me. Also, I was thinking about how this relates to OTPing-- when you just -can't- see the character with anyone else (the way I can't really see Draco with anyone but Harry)-- so yeah, he does wind up 'gay by default'. Queeny, I guess I'd call 'im :D Even if he were straight he'd seem gay on one level. I do know straight guys who act like that, it's just that they seem gay :D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

... Being repressed has nothing to do with being asexual, believe me.

*zips lips*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Haha, that's exactly what I meant re: Harry :D :D That he's asexual without being repressed, and that Draco's repressed without being asexual o_0 So I wasn't really linking them :> :>

TEEHEE *coughs*