~~ mind you, I hate Lucius, so.
May. 6th, 2004 05:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaFor the record (if there is such a thing), I suppose I should finalize my opinion on whether Lucius loves Draco. I've never really thought about it, but I found I rather respect Jane St Clair (she of the likable Star Trek fic and the fondness for nasty!Draco), and she says Lucius "adores" him, and....
Well, it's like this. As the facts seem to stand, Lucius seems to indulge and coddle Draco in some ways, it is true-- but not others. Not when Draco's an embarrassment to him. He goes all out financially when he seems to think it's useful and witholds when he finds it frivolous (well, mostly I'm basing this on the Dark Arts shop). Lucius has no problem scolding Draco, so he's not some super-indulgent super-adoring parent, anyway, although Draco feels comfortable enough to whine on and on, so there mustn't be any serious repercussions. Narcissa gives every indication of being superficial-- again, this focus on gifts and money as signs of love (candy owl posts). Lucius seems to have some sort of agenda, though.
But. I think there is a huge difference between throwing money at things and making sure certain life-lessons are instilled and actually being a doting, devoted parent who spends "quality time" with their child. Who -bonds- with their child and does what's really in their best interest regardless of "the plan".
Lucius Malfoy is a single-minded power-hungry politician who has his fingers in a number of pies, it seems. I get the impression that he's a busy man. More importantly, I don't get the impression that he's an emotionally open, caring man. Now, it may seem that being caring and empathic in general doesn't have a bearing on how loving and good of a parent you are, but I think it does. Maybe you can -not show- that side of you to most people, but it has to be there. And, indeed, if it is there, your child tends not to grow up to be an insufferable prick (yeah, that'd be Draco, much as I love him).
What I'm saying is, Draco's horrible behavior at school is proof enough that his parents aren't giving him some sort of ideal caring environment. Though it's not saying they -beat- him or make his life miserable. It's not one or the other. It could just be the usual-- that people don't know how to love whether they feel it or not. They don't know how to be decent human beings so they don't know how to teach their child to be one.
I think it's the Dursley phenomenon, actually. The parents are awful, and so is the child. It seems, indeed, like they dote on Dudley, but to me, that sort of love is fake and disgusting. It's some sort of parody fascimile of love, because these people wouldn't know real love if it hit them on the hiney and bit down. It's empty, is what I'm saying. There's no real... human bonding going on. It's all about wanting the child to be an exact duplicate of you, wanting them to -become- you.
The Dursleys willfully -ignore- Dudley's real problems until he deals with them in his own way (weight, bullying), just as the Malfoys ignore Draco's (possibly alienation, bullying, anger issues, whatever). That's not love, that's narcissism. So even if such a person -thinks- they love their child, the only thing they love is themselves. It doesn't even matter to me how Lucius actually acts toward Draco, because I can only believe that he doesn't love anything but himself, whatever he thinks.
Overall, I think I'm angry with him. Lucius, I mean. To me, it's not a question of whether he loves Draco or not-- he still hasn't done right by Draco as far as I'm concerned. Love isn't enough, really. Love isn't so much the most important aspect of parenting as the basis from which everything spreads, generally. Thing is-- everyone loves their children. Everyone. Sure, Lucius does and so would Tom Riddle, if he had any. Big whoop, eh? Doesn't mean they won't make their child's life a mockery or a living hell, but I don't think one could say they don't "love" them.
I don't see where this fascination with -whether- Lucius loves Draco comes from. Perhaps it's right there in the text, actually, since it's so vital that Harry's mother really -really- loved him, enough to protect him with her life. But that was a selfless love, wasn't it. It was a love that acquired its goodness from the goodness of her heart. Lily was a loving person, so her love redeemed. Lucius is... not, so his love can only condemn. Love itself can be a prison, can't it. It's the best prison, really. There's nothing special about the -emotion-, only about the heart it inhabits, I think.
But like I said, I'm rather angry with Lucius.
Well, it's like this. As the facts seem to stand, Lucius seems to indulge and coddle Draco in some ways, it is true-- but not others. Not when Draco's an embarrassment to him. He goes all out financially when he seems to think it's useful and witholds when he finds it frivolous (well, mostly I'm basing this on the Dark Arts shop). Lucius has no problem scolding Draco, so he's not some super-indulgent super-adoring parent, anyway, although Draco feels comfortable enough to whine on and on, so there mustn't be any serious repercussions. Narcissa gives every indication of being superficial-- again, this focus on gifts and money as signs of love (candy owl posts). Lucius seems to have some sort of agenda, though.
But. I think there is a huge difference between throwing money at things and making sure certain life-lessons are instilled and actually being a doting, devoted parent who spends "quality time" with their child. Who -bonds- with their child and does what's really in their best interest regardless of "the plan".
Lucius Malfoy is a single-minded power-hungry politician who has his fingers in a number of pies, it seems. I get the impression that he's a busy man. More importantly, I don't get the impression that he's an emotionally open, caring man. Now, it may seem that being caring and empathic in general doesn't have a bearing on how loving and good of a parent you are, but I think it does. Maybe you can -not show- that side of you to most people, but it has to be there. And, indeed, if it is there, your child tends not to grow up to be an insufferable prick (yeah, that'd be Draco, much as I love him).
What I'm saying is, Draco's horrible behavior at school is proof enough that his parents aren't giving him some sort of ideal caring environment. Though it's not saying they -beat- him or make his life miserable. It's not one or the other. It could just be the usual-- that people don't know how to love whether they feel it or not. They don't know how to be decent human beings so they don't know how to teach their child to be one.
I think it's the Dursley phenomenon, actually. The parents are awful, and so is the child. It seems, indeed, like they dote on Dudley, but to me, that sort of love is fake and disgusting. It's some sort of parody fascimile of love, because these people wouldn't know real love if it hit them on the hiney and bit down. It's empty, is what I'm saying. There's no real... human bonding going on. It's all about wanting the child to be an exact duplicate of you, wanting them to -become- you.
The Dursleys willfully -ignore- Dudley's real problems until he deals with them in his own way (weight, bullying), just as the Malfoys ignore Draco's (possibly alienation, bullying, anger issues, whatever). That's not love, that's narcissism. So even if such a person -thinks- they love their child, the only thing they love is themselves. It doesn't even matter to me how Lucius actually acts toward Draco, because I can only believe that he doesn't love anything but himself, whatever he thinks.
Overall, I think I'm angry with him. Lucius, I mean. To me, it's not a question of whether he loves Draco or not-- he still hasn't done right by Draco as far as I'm concerned. Love isn't enough, really. Love isn't so much the most important aspect of parenting as the basis from which everything spreads, generally. Thing is-- everyone loves their children. Everyone. Sure, Lucius does and so would Tom Riddle, if he had any. Big whoop, eh? Doesn't mean they won't make their child's life a mockery or a living hell, but I don't think one could say they don't "love" them.
I don't see where this fascination with -whether- Lucius loves Draco comes from. Perhaps it's right there in the text, actually, since it's so vital that Harry's mother really -really- loved him, enough to protect him with her life. But that was a selfless love, wasn't it. It was a love that acquired its goodness from the goodness of her heart. Lily was a loving person, so her love redeemed. Lucius is... not, so his love can only condemn. Love itself can be a prison, can't it. It's the best prison, really. There's nothing special about the -emotion-, only about the heart it inhabits, I think.
But like I said, I'm rather angry with Lucius.
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no subject
Date: 2004-05-06 04:12 pm (UTC)Anyway, it's weird to me because it's like you say...parents loving their children is pretty much standard, unless they're deranged. Lily's sacrifice is dramatic but it's really not exceptional. Look at Molly's boggart--almost any mother would have done what Lily did. Would Narcissa? Hmmm...we've never seen her. Does she live up to her name so much that she would save herself before her baby? Maybe not, but I think the fear that she wouldn't on Draco's part is far more important than whether or not she actually would. His parents probably do love him, but I don't think he feels loved.
Dudley is probably the same way for the reasons you mentioned--if your parents aren't, say, fat like the doctor says it might be cool in the short run because you don't have to diet. But if you yourself realized it was true they'd be telling you what you were was just too unacceptable to deal with and you'd probably wonder what the point in your even being there is.
So really, I think it's more interesting and more dramatic and probably more realistic and certainly more tragic if Draco's parents love him but really aren't capable of showing it. So my vote goes there.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-07 09:46 am (UTC)Oops. That should read: "If you're parents say you aren't, say, fat like the doctor said it might cool in the short run because you don't have to diet..."
no subject
Date: 2004-05-11 08:52 pm (UTC)Wow, I love the idea that Draco angsts about whether his distant mother loves him-- I mean... he's always angsting this way and that about his father, but maybe his mother is too deep and personal for him to even talk about. That'd be something. Yeah... I think it's pretty obvious he doesn't feel loved, 'cause of all the overcompensating that's going on. Wah. Now I wanna snuggle him, which usually only happens with Harry ^^;
What I -really- want to see is someone writing the Malfoys as not over-the-top nutsy wackos, but as normal English people, y'know, with the emotional hang-ups and the stiff upper lip and all the layers of tragedy. People over-dramatize the Malfoys, don't they? It's all so much melodrama and sturm-und-drang, and I forget that supposedly, Lucius is a normal person with "issues" too, and he's prolly insecure in his own way. Ha! Whoa.
No one writes insecure-and-vicious!Lucius that I know of. It's so sad. And he'd have this sad, uncomfortable relationship with Narcissa, where he used to love her (in his own messed-up way) and now he can't talk to her-- 'course, he can't talk to anyone. So they don't touch when they sleep and sometimes he fucks her without any noise and she goes to the bathroom and cleans up afterwards. I'm a fan of the theory that Narcissa was close to Draco when he was a baby, but then Lucius snapped and took control of his development in some way 'cause their own marriage was falling apart and here was this little Malfoy that Lucius thought he could mold.
*sigh*
It'd almost be plausible if Draco didn't turn out to be such an insensitive little prat that they're all three of them kind of unsympathetic even in this scenario, somehow. It's like... he'd always ignored everything just like his parents did, on some level, and focused his energies outwards, buying into whatever his father fed him enough to keep up. He never -rebelled-, really, which makes it hard for me to empathize with that family situation. I think the rebellion and inner-focus and all is Harry's shtick, which is funny 'cause I don't write Harry as easily. Maybe I'm too close to him.
Draco was probably always the sort of boy who "dealt" with things by looking outward, ignoring what he couldn't deal with and ultra-focusing on the things he hated that he thought he -could- deal with. Like, maybe that's why he's -so- obsessed with Potter, 'cause he has so little control over some other things that upset him in life. Hmm.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-11 09:06 pm (UTC)Somebody on my lj once said that the slap scene indicated real mother issues. He got angry and taunted Hermione because he was angry for his mother's inattention, but when she got mad and hit him he was all chastened and felt rejected and like a bad boy. It was so twisted, but it was the first interpretation of the slap I could really live with-this great idea that his mother could actually hurt him so much more than his father, that maybe his father was almost who he thought he was running to for help!
And to think people think the Durmstrang comment and the chocolates indicate he's just flat-out spoiled. Do they not know how twisted mothers can be??
Draco was probably always the sort of boy who "dealt" with things by looking outward, ignoring what he couldn't deal with and ultra-focusing on the things he hated that he thought he -could- deal with. Like, maybe that's why he's -so- obsessed with Potter, 'cause he has so little control over some other things that upset him in life. Hmm.
Oh, I totally get that feeling. Harry is *his,* whatever that means to him. Even if Harry refuses to admit it. Lucius' dismisses his obsession (Yes, you told me a million times already...) and Harry dismisses it as well, preferring to deal with Lucius instead. But I hold out hope that ignoring this little bundle of emotion just because he's a spaz is going to turn out to be a bad thing for both of them. :-)