~~ 1x2x5 is a crowd
Apr. 11th, 2004 07:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaThe problem with threesome relationships-- in fics, anyway-- is that they're inherently unstable, I think, sort of like a table with three legs or something. And it occurred to me that most fics I've glanced at try to eliminate this problem by attempting to convince the reader that the relationship -is-, in fact, stable, and that all parties want/love/need (are "in love with") each other equally, and have strong bonds in all directions. Which, I guess I refuse to believe on some basic intuition. Romantic/sexual love is just fundamentally, almost biologically a pair bond, and that's all there is to it, though people can feel it (and be torn) in different directions at once, paradoxically-- but that breaks up under such stress.
But... what if the fic capitalized on this inherent imbalance instead? You could, theoretically, write about a three-way bond that -wasn't- equal, which would work if the people involved were okay with that. Like... there would be a central couple who had the dominant pair-bond, and the third person who largely had strong ties of friendship to both, and most probably more intense ties of friendship/lust to one. It's imperative this third person not be -in love- with either of the other two, I think.
In this scenario, the third person would then be included from time to time, as sort of a frequent visitor. It has to be natural, of course, and I think it would be important that no official commitment be involved. Most of all, normal ties of friendship (a couple being friends with one particular person) would have to be maintained. This third person would have to be single and not looking for serious attachments at the time. And this isn't "swinging", either-- that's important too. This is just that... they all want to and are just that comfortable with each other. I wish I could remember the single H/R/Hr fic that ever did this.
In fact, it seems to be that this is how I see the obvious possible threesomes in several fandoms I know. Ron/Hermione/Harry, for one (Harry being the odd one out). Gundam Wing has possibilities, -maybe-, with Heero/Duo/Wu Fei (though, well, Wu Fei is so... straight). It's veeerry distantly possible with Buffy/Spike/Angel but I don't think so, actually, because they're all way too possessive. There -has- to be someone who'll back off while retaining ties to avoid trauma. *sigh* Anyway, dunno about real life, but. I just really wish people would stop it with the "and then all three of them lived happily ever after" fics :/
But... what if the fic capitalized on this inherent imbalance instead? You could, theoretically, write about a three-way bond that -wasn't- equal, which would work if the people involved were okay with that. Like... there would be a central couple who had the dominant pair-bond, and the third person who largely had strong ties of friendship to both, and most probably more intense ties of friendship/lust to one. It's imperative this third person not be -in love- with either of the other two, I think.
In this scenario, the third person would then be included from time to time, as sort of a frequent visitor. It has to be natural, of course, and I think it would be important that no official commitment be involved. Most of all, normal ties of friendship (a couple being friends with one particular person) would have to be maintained. This third person would have to be single and not looking for serious attachments at the time. And this isn't "swinging", either-- that's important too. This is just that... they all want to and are just that comfortable with each other. I wish I could remember the single H/R/Hr fic that ever did this.
In fact, it seems to be that this is how I see the obvious possible threesomes in several fandoms I know. Ron/Hermione/Harry, for one (Harry being the odd one out). Gundam Wing has possibilities, -maybe-, with Heero/Duo/Wu Fei (though, well, Wu Fei is so... straight). It's veeerry distantly possible with Buffy/Spike/Angel but I don't think so, actually, because they're all way too possessive. There -has- to be someone who'll back off while retaining ties to avoid trauma. *sigh* Anyway, dunno about real life, but. I just really wish people would stop it with the "and then all three of them lived happily ever after" fics :/
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Date: 2004-04-11 10:42 pm (UTC)Maybe the reason my mind seems to insist on a strong foundation of pre-existing friendship being necessary is because one becomes balanced or in tune with one's friends after a while, much more than with a lover. Like, if you're friends for like, 5 years or so... all 3 of you, or just one person with 2 other people or one of the 2 other people or whatever... then there are intrinsic balances there already, maybe. Lust leads to jealousy & possessiveness and need and selfishness, that's what it is, I think. Even "easygoing" people want what's -theirs-, at least on that basic level of "my mate".
I think I'd like a threesome fic more if it wasn't happy. Like, why does it need to idyllic? Is it because the threesome writers are defending themselves against the skepticism of the couple-fic writers & readers? Heh. Unconsciously, I mean.
I think I'd like the odd one out to be one of the spare sex-- that is to say, if it's two guys, I'd want the odd one out ot be the guy, and if it's two girls, I'd want the odd one out to be a girl. At least there's not the complication of orientation confusion there, anyway. Like, it'd be too easy for the person (guy) to wake up one day and go "duuude, I'm so gay". I dunno, I'm just paranoid, maybe. I also don't know why sex has to be involved in these dynamics, necessarily. Especially since one's desire for one's single partner fades with time... it just gives me a headache imagining what'd happen when it was stretched thin like that. I dunno.
On the one hand, instinctively, one feels like "well, there's your 'gay' urges and your 'straight' urges", but that just seems... eh. Like someone's default view of bisexuality or something. it disturbs me. I don't think I'd need a girl for sex if I attached myself to a guy (being bi) anymore than I'd need another guy. But that's just me & I can be a monogamous freak at times.
And hehe, thanks :D I get embarrassed of rambling continuously, but I can't seem to... stop ^^;;