(revelations)

[reenka]

The dark and ugly truth is... I don't think Draco Malfoy would mind wearing leather.


I mean, if it ever occurred to him in a million years, that is, and if he had an occasion to (not so easy as it sounds, in a boarding school). But yes. Whether he'd look -good- or -sexy- is another matter entirely, but... he would strut. And probably imbibe alcoholic substances. And leer a lot.

What does a skinny pale boy look like in black leather, anyway? Gothy, right? I am so naive, I know that. But... those really obnoxious club kids, with the put-on attitudes and the fake piercings and the temporary green bangs and stuff... yeah. They look so ridiculous but they don't know it. They're all like, "I'm hot stuff" and any sane girl would just roll her eyes. They'd be like, "hey baby, wanna roll?" and she'd punch one of them and that'd be that. Yes. Although kicked in the nuts is more likely, actually.

I was just reading a Gundam Wing Heero-in-leather fic and thought... you know, this leather thing is so widespread.... Maybe it's something about animal skin? And then I pictured Draco's long, skinny legs and thought... yep. And boots with spikes on 'em. Big spikes. "Betcha you can't tell where I keep my wand -now-, can you Potter?". Yep. And no, Harry wouldn't say, "I can -always- confiscate your wand, Malfoy"... though... well. See, it's aaall about the drunken innuendo, when it comes to leather. Undercover-Auror!Harry, infiltrating some wizarding equivalent of Wannabe-evil Club raves. It can happen!

"What's a goody two-shoes like you doing without proper footwear, Potter?"

"Taking a vacation, before you came along," he'd say.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, back up a second." Malfoy would hiccough. "Did you just-- stare at my -arse-?"

"Yeah, it has 'kick me' written all over it. Right... there." And Harry would poke Malfoy's butt with his wand, and the leather would squeak right before Malfoy did.

"That's it!" Malfoy would yell. "That is the last straw!! You poked my leather, prepare to DIE!!!"

...I need sleep before I write a really bad fic. -.-

Comments

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

It's funny that leather is so prevalent in fandoms and yet I've never seen anyone try to convince writers to use pleather instead, or argue that this leather fetishisation is un-PC.

-brodie

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

You're right. That is worrisome. /:)

Possibly even sad.

~reena

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

I mean, pleather is deeply unsexy ... I was kidding about that. But it is strange that I can't recall anyone ever saying ew, dead cow hide. Do girls fetishise leather in the same way that there are gay leather communities? Or is it a shorthand way of saying 'sexy'?

[i-smile.livejournal.com]

Well, they don't really sell baggy leather pants. Maybe it's shorthand for "tight and sexy".

(Ha. Sorry to butt in.)

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

Imagine baggy leather MC Hammer pants. You can't touch this, nor would you want to ..

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...maybe there are wizarding leather robes communities, then :D :D

Y'know, they pretend they're not really gay, they're just wizards :D

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

...maybe there are wizarding leather robes communities

I'm 99% certain there are ;-)

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

I could see him wearing a leather jacket, although that might be the influence of Teh (plebey) Felton.
Not pants though, I can't see any bloke wearing those. And I don't want to, either, I'll go blind.

[mark356.livejournal.com]

Leather jackets are very good, though! In the spring of 2003, everyone in downtown Boston was wearing a beautiful, well-cut, hip-length leather jacket, and they all looked gorgeous! Leather jackets are fashionable, not plebey.

Although I think that either Tom Felton or Draco would look terrific in a nice leather jacket (because everyone looks guh-worthy in a beautiful jacket [*drools*]), I have no idea why Draco would get one and put it on in the first place.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

So what you're saying is, he'd be wearing a leather jacket but capri pants or something. With like, sandals and a cigar. At home.

And like, Harry would come over, 'cause he's on house arrest, and he'd be like, "Yo." And Harry would choke and point and choke and point some more and say, "M-Malfoy!" And he'd be like, "Potter." And Harry would say, "What you really need now is a pair of leather trousers, and then you really would be a pig." :>

[slinkhard.livejournal.com]

Now I'm scared for life, at the idea of anyone wearing capri pants, let alone poor Draco.
Really, he may be the son of a Death Eater, but NO-ONE deserves that.

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

*imagines*
LUCIUS: Oh my God, my scion of aristocracy is dressed like street trash.
DRACO: *scowls* It is an expression of my RAGE and ANGST.
LUCIUS: Young man, it is an expression of your backside.
DRACO: Which is also raging and angsty. I will not be a slave to the Man!
LUCIUS: Do you mean the Dark Lord, or are you just insane?
DRACO: I could well be teetering on the edge of the ABYSS of MADNESS.
LUCIUS: I can well believe it!
DRACO: I have written poetry about it. In my BLOOD.
LUCIUS: ...
DRACO: You and your establishment, consumer-driven society. Death Eaters, forsooth! Why are you not Death *Embracers*?
LUCIUS: ...
DRACO: I am going to my room to listen to the Sex Pistols!
LUCIUS: I know what you're going up to your room to do, young man, and it'll turn you blind! Which is much the same effect that your bizarre legwear has had on me!
DRACO: Father, those days are long past. These leather pants are a bitch to get out of.
LUCIUS: And I can well imagine that nobody wants to lend a hand!
DRACO: I HATE YOU! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
LUCIUS: Who could?... Kids. I swear to God, it's a good thing we're sacrificing him to the dark powers this Tuesday.
I need sleep, apparently, and I just got up...

[mark356.livejournal.com]

*dead*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I ♥ you, you know that, right? :D Oh man, you're more insane than I am at 5am! I respect that :D
Yeah, because Draco's ass has a lot of rage issues.
FORSOOTH!!!! If someone said that to me aloud I would laugh like a hyena, I really would.

Ahahaha OMG NOW I'M IMAGINING LUCIUS & DRACO'S "LITTLE TALK", ahahah. Y'know, about sex, except Draco'd be like, "It's all right father, the wanking keeps me quite satisfied" and Lucius would like... blush or something but then nod a bit. "Yes, indeed. That is how it was for me as well, until I married your mother at age 24." heheheh

...And the Lucius would be like, "Wait a minute!" 'Cause he'd remember all of Narcissa's leathers and whips and things. "Did your mother put you up to this??!" And Draco would flush and scream, "MY WHOLE FAMILY ARE FREAKS!! FREAKS!!"
And Narcissa would be like, "Now now, Draco, Muggle torture just isn't the same without the proper attire, you know that" :D :D!

[sarahtales.livejournal.com]

... which is why you should meet me. Because I will say forsooth in the course of ordinary conversation.
... you know, I feel many of the scenes I have regarded as normal talking scenes are regarded as humour by others. Heh.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heee :D It is at this point where I cackle and mutter something about my evil plan working~:)) I will definitely come to England, for that about a million and a half other reasons. Not to worry, I am obsessed. :D
I honestly thought only Shakespeare said things like that, but then, you -are- in the old country... I mean, you say things like "trousers" and "arse" and... stuff, I'm sure, ahahah. I think most normal Queen's English type speech would be funny to people around here, ehehe. But I do believe you & your family are special, of course >:D

[corsiva.livejournal.com]

*builds an alter in your honor*

[mark356.livejournal.com]

*laughing*

This post needs to go in my memories section right next to that squeaky/horrible-leather-pants ficlet that weatherby wrote on Aja's journal so long ago. I think your interpretation is so right, though, of Draco looking like one of those obnoxious club kids in leather, and I love your exchange!

[ljash.livejournal.com]

hee hee heeee....

hee.