(no subject)

[reenka]

There's nothing quite like the silliness of sitting there and asking yourself, 'am I a fangirl? is this a fangirl journal? what am I doing here? where I am going with this line of questioning?' (See, I can't resist the meta... it eats at me... like corrosive acid... it possesses my brain... it shuts off my main personality and shunts it all into a sort of staring-off-into-space state where I ask silly questions of myself).

I don't actually have any journals I'd consider 'fangirl' journals friended (I think...?) at this point, but I am a fangirl, rather. I'm sort of a fanfic/fanart fangirl-- I like to squee over stuff I think's brilliant within the community that produced it. In terms of different source material-- I dunno if I'm an anime fangirl or a fantasy-lit fangirl, 'cause while I have extreme enthusiasm (...to say the least), I don't feel the urge to actually squee in a social setting. Like, I go to my school's anime club and I really enjoy seeing the anime with other people-- it's nice to know they're there-- but it's not like we ever discuss it (wouldn't that be too much like class...?) and it's not like I want to just... hang out later (and wouldn't know how to ask). I know I'm a freak, okay.

I remember starting this as a fangirl journal-- I wanted to rec and rec and keep a record of everything I found that I liked. I still kind of do that sporadically (which is more than most 'fangirl' journals do, since there are now central hubs for that sort of thing like rec communities or people who're self-declared Head Reccers) so just personal squeeing has gone way down, methinks. I mean, I wanted to be a resource in so far as I wanted at least someone to find the links useful at first, but it's not like I ever cared about 'the community' and its 'needs'. Man, I think I just got too verbose to be a fangirl. Fangirls, by definition, shouldn't get too serious, right? I'm not sure; I do like the 'fun fun fun!!' philosophy, though. I've lost sight of it, somewhat, though it's kinda being helped along by all the S/R fic.

So like... hey. Just curious how many of you think you're fangirls, still (um... not necessarily HP). What does it take, anyway? Anyone...? Bueller...?

PS OMG Some girl just said the words 'Harry Potter fandom' in my lab just now!!! OMG I AM SQUEEING LIKE MAD!!! OMG!!!
...okay I'm a fangirl in remission, then... :>

Comments

[cellia.livejournal.com]

But being obsessive is, like, the most important ingredient to being a geek (and/or fangirl)!

After careful consultation of the well-known geek hierarchy (unabridged) it is clear to me that you are a catagorizable geek. (I mean, I guess it is *possible* to write fanfic and not be a geek, but to write fanfic *and* be into anime and not be a geek...? Statistically, I'd say near-impossible.)

You are just a more... grumpy fan than most. :D

btw, are you using "mundane" like SF fen do? (although since SF is now pretty mainsteam, there's much less divide between fen and mundanes, but... well, like porn, I still think I know it when I see it ^^;;)

[malafede.livejournal.com]

using mundane in the sense of mainstream, yeah, though more in, uhm, spirit than actual content?? i don't actually like anything the current mainstream culture is producing (... unless HP is considered mainstream? man, it probably is BUT THEN AGAIN I DON'T LIKE IT >:D I only like its monsters *stubborn*) but I like the concept of not standing in front of a PC talking about how great this thing that someone *else* wrote but making up my own thing (Which I am not doing!!! but in theory.)

It seems the geek's mindset is the one of the follower in some respect and AHAHA this makes me laugh because i always call myself a follower. IT'S JUST THAT I'VE FOUND NO GOD BIG ENOUGH FOR ME YET. :D :D

I think I am like more indie in spirit than mundane. OR I'D LIKE TO BE. I just know I am not a fan, it goes against my very nature and total resistance to authority and probably the repressed voice of my ego (did you notice how much time I spend talking about myself??? All this frigging comment!!!). Maybe I am a nonfan indie geek.

Though I have to tell you I hate the idea of the geek hieracy so much. Because I love the idea of geeks but the hieracy seems to represent the flipside to that theoretically great reclamation of individuality. Liiiiike... aren't all geeks born equal no matter how strange-looking? But then you see that actually they too have a vendetta against those inferior human beings that are somehow in power (... does this mean I am a geek? I feel like I'm repressing something here too) and also get validated by superiority-trips over other groups.

[cellia.livejournal.com]

This really calls for a Monty Python quote... :D *resists*

Liiiiike... aren't all geeks born equal no matter how strange-looking?

heh. You'd like to think so, no? The best parts of fandom to me are when it gives the stranger people of the world a place to feel normal and accepted.

But almost every fandom has ghettos within ghettos. Even weirdo people are human. It seems crappy, but I think many people who feel marginalized then have the urge to marginalize others (the anime geek who can't get a date, but lords his Japanese knowledge over the newbie fans, the worker emasculated by his boss who abuses his wife...) I'd think it'd be the opposite, people would see how much it sucks to be marginalized and have empathy, but that doesn't seem to be the way it works in general... Maybe because guys *really* have this biological need to have pecking orders? But chicks do it too, though I'd say less overtly... *ponders and comes to no real conclusion*

But, anyway... as much as it offends you, the funny of the geek hierarchy lies in it's truth (and dude, I always laugh at the last box)<--feels sad that you did not see the beauty of the geek hierarchy. we totally did not make that connection. *cries*

I think tearing down and overanalyzing is totally geek/fan (here I use to words interchangeably just to be confusing!). Like, who *but* a fan would pay enough attention and care enough to *really* tear something apart. Comics fans are always bitching. We love something bigger than what's always given to us, we have high expectations--thus complaints.

I think you can be a fan(atic) and still be v. critical. I think it's necessary actually. If you're really into something, you want to explore it and defend it, even from the bad bits of itself. There's something there that first draws your love and devotion and obsessive attention.

Maybe it's not the HP books though, maybe it's the potential of JKRs world, maybe it's the fandom itself? There is something there though, that makes you think it's worth your time.

Not that I know huge amounts about indie-ness, but (to me) that's more about just doing your own thing, so intense critique, focus on another's work, is inherently non-indie. Of course, so many of the indie people I've ever met follow that cliche about being non-conformists all in the same way...

If I had a point, it is long forgotten.

what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

i... i think i want to be indie but have irresistible tendency to geekitude. *deep breath* admission is the first step to recovery.

i'd like to observe you in your comic environment. :D :D

oh, i didn't mean that the geek hieracy as a study is not great, it's just the phenomenon behind it that drives me mad. whyyyy rather than learning from the bitter taste of being mocked for being different that it's uncool mocking someone for being different do they let their thirst for revenge take the best of them? GEEKS.

mmmh words.

Re: what quote >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

whyyyy rather than learning from the bitter taste of being mocked for being different

because people never learn, man.

Re: what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

well if it's draco then it's okay. ♥

Re: what quote >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

you are like, the soul of bias :P hee

Re: what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

i love all wankers in my heart, it's the mass dynamic of them that's depressing.

that icon makes me want to strangle harry in his sleep.

Re: what quote >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

The mass dynamic of every group is depressing. That's because groups suck. I like individuals, but groups? SUCK. Except sometimes they don't, but mostly, yeah. Group behavior brings out all the worst in people.


...Y'know, Harry could kick your ass even as a toddler, prolly ;)

Re: what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

except for draco, who's pretty no matter what.

don't make me get communist on your arse, potter.