(no subject)

[reenka]

There's nothing quite like the silliness of sitting there and asking yourself, 'am I a fangirl? is this a fangirl journal? what am I doing here? where I am going with this line of questioning?' (See, I can't resist the meta... it eats at me... like corrosive acid... it possesses my brain... it shuts off my main personality and shunts it all into a sort of staring-off-into-space state where I ask silly questions of myself).

I don't actually have any journals I'd consider 'fangirl' journals friended (I think...?) at this point, but I am a fangirl, rather. I'm sort of a fanfic/fanart fangirl-- I like to squee over stuff I think's brilliant within the community that produced it. In terms of different source material-- I dunno if I'm an anime fangirl or a fantasy-lit fangirl, 'cause while I have extreme enthusiasm (...to say the least), I don't feel the urge to actually squee in a social setting. Like, I go to my school's anime club and I really enjoy seeing the anime with other people-- it's nice to know they're there-- but it's not like we ever discuss it (wouldn't that be too much like class...?) and it's not like I want to just... hang out later (and wouldn't know how to ask). I know I'm a freak, okay.

I remember starting this as a fangirl journal-- I wanted to rec and rec and keep a record of everything I found that I liked. I still kind of do that sporadically (which is more than most 'fangirl' journals do, since there are now central hubs for that sort of thing like rec communities or people who're self-declared Head Reccers) so just personal squeeing has gone way down, methinks. I mean, I wanted to be a resource in so far as I wanted at least someone to find the links useful at first, but it's not like I ever cared about 'the community' and its 'needs'. Man, I think I just got too verbose to be a fangirl. Fangirls, by definition, shouldn't get too serious, right? I'm not sure; I do like the 'fun fun fun!!' philosophy, though. I've lost sight of it, somewhat, though it's kinda being helped along by all the S/R fic.

So like... hey. Just curious how many of you think you're fangirls, still (um... not necessarily HP). What does it take, anyway? Anyone...? Bueller...?

PS OMG Some girl just said the words 'Harry Potter fandom' in my lab just now!!! OMG I AM SQUEEING LIKE MAD!!! OMG!!!
...okay I'm a fangirl in remission, then... :>

Comments

[blacksatinrose.livejournal.com]

...define "fangirl journal."

I mean, this journal is definitely a fandom one, but I don't do much squeeing... ;)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I don't know!! What -is- a 'fangirl journal'???! I DON'T KNOW AND IT'S EATING AT ME, MAN!! >:O heee
...I've heard the phrase used, but I'm not sure whose journal would be 'it'. Like... the standard. Somehow I think 'fandom' and 'fangirl' are like... different... but I dunno how... um. Heh. :>

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Perhaps 'fan' ('participant in fandom') is just someone who's... er... there for whatever reason and participates in whatever way, whereas fangirl has... er... 'extreme enthusiasm'...? And like... it doesn't have to be bouncy or cute, but maybe just... enthusiastic...???

[lykaios.livejournal.com]

I'd call myself a fangirl, but I don't tend to use my journal as a loudspeaker for that fangirling. It's more, er - internal, I suppose. I mean my fangirling, not my journal. When it comes to my journal, well, lately I've been ranting a lot. Fandom-related, for the most part. But no "OMFG I LOVE [insert fandom gem]." I guess I am driven more by rage than love, at least when it comes to my motivation for posting.

There is also a mix of real life in there. And completely random observations. And memes. And pictures of goats. And Gary Motherfucking Oldman.

Oh, and my mad photoshop skills.

HI, by the way. :)

[penelope-z.livejournal.com]

The problem is: I like a character/fandom/fic/author very much. I start thinking and pondering and daydreaming over this. I get fed up, and I end up completely sick of c/f/f/a. I am no good as a fangirl, due to limited attention span. Also, I'm naturally self-depracating, so the usual thought process is: I really like this = therefore it must be crap

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I don't think I am physically incapable of being a true fangirl. I mean, I love things, but then I always want to look at the bad parts too, or look at how it works. I rarely squee spontaneously. I usually do it because it's expected. Well, I mean, I do it on my own but usually by the time I would get on line I would no longer be squeeing.

But then, I don't know. There's a lot of fandom stuff in my lj so do people consider it a fangirl journal? I suppose they'd consider it a fandom one, which sort of makes me sad because what worth am I without a fandom? Okay, not really.

[cellia.livejournal.com]

comic fangirl here :D

to me: fangirl= chick version of fanboy. knows lots of "meaningless" trivia. can engage geekily about it with other fans and enthusiastically enjoys this. squeeing not required, but an unmistakable burst of happiness when that perfect scene comes around, that burning indignation when things are handled badly, *caring* will let you know, I think...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Heeee!! You answer to my prayers you ;))
Yesh, that sounds about right. As per--
a) trivia-obsessed
b) geek-babbling
c) emotionally over-invested
...loser >:D

I don't do the burning indignation that much... do I? Well, rarely, but they have to really mess up (like with X-Files or omg the ending of the HYD anime, that kinda... wasn't so good). I think I fail at 'engaging geekily with other fans' 'cause I'm such a freakish loner ^^;;;

I'm like a fangirl in potentia >:D :D :D *cracks up*

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hee, I get fed up a lot too-- it's a cyclical thing-- like, I get fed up and then come back, 'cause after awhile it feels new again. It's awful, really, 'cause to this day I read 1x2 fic sometimes and it's like, 'heeeyyyy'... but perhaps this means that vital characteristic of fangirlishness is 'time'. Can't be one for just a day, or something.
I suppose I define myself by what I like rather than the things I like by myself, hahah. Though I also don't mind things being crap if I like them :D

[cellia.livejournal.com]

OMG YES--why didn't they just stop the HYD anime at 49, or even 50! *cries* Like wtf those are not the characters I know!!

Do you feel the fangirl connection? ^_^ We are engaging geekily even as you read!!!

(Whereas for XF, I'm just like "eh, yeah those last bits sucked bad, whatever.")

(ps do not spoil me for the end of the Hanadan manga, I don't have all the vols)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh, what do you think about cellia's & penelope_z's additions as far as the definition? That like, it's not about the squee-- and besides, it can't possibly be just about squee 'cause... that'd mean all fangirls are just bubbleheads >:D 'Course, it seems like something about the experience is just diluted unless it's immediate-- like, the geekery has to happen then and there to be... fresh :>

Hehehe perhaps you are like an over-fangirl. Like a fangirl guru :))) *is completely cracking up* :D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I dunno about this being a fangirl journal or even being a fangirl myself (...I sort of am...?) but I TOTALLY KNOW that we two have 'the fangirl connection' (tm) >:D!! You bring out my inner geek like no one else, man <3<3<3
...But that's probably because you're the only other geek I know. Like, anymore. HOW SAD IS THAT???! OMG THE WOE :((((

But yes. Usually I'm all happy with-- er-- happy endings, but omg that was just... wtf?? basically. Slapped on and weird and... god. That's what happens when you stop in the middle of the manga. Which ended... better. :> :> :> How's that for not spoiling you >:D
I don't know what my favorite anime ending is, or even if I can remember a really good one :(( Dude...!! Well, I mean, why I am thinking about Fushigi Yuugi right now???! WHY???! omg I AM SO LAME ^^; (...except... yeah... I know I am, why fight it.)

(...I'm kinda like that with XF too... mostly 'cause I just didn't watch the last few seasons, really, ahahah. Oh wait, Buffy... I really liked Buffy's ending, though everyone was like, 'meh', but I loved that episode!! LOVED!! SO MUCH!... 'course, the B/S shippiness didn't hurt any.)

*embraces geekitude as we speak* :D :D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

I suppose the (deep, meaningful) question here is, 'do fangirls always have to fangirl'...?? *moment of silence* :> Ranting is fangirly, though! Well, ranting and raving. It's all about the manic-depressive with us >:D (...I get into rage modes too, sometimes... for some reason people get pissy around me around those times. I think it's just that I'm monumentally unfunny when I'm upset. I hate that, man.)

'Motherfucking' is a great middle name >:D

HI!! >:D!

[malafede.livejournal.com]

I just realised that mine is not a fangirl journal because I am not a geek. I always wanted to attain geek status but my nature is just so horribly mundane. I think mine is a mundane person journal where the mundane person is very obsessive.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

...but you could be a fangirl of mundane things and in mundane ways, like... what would be the opposite, super-cool fangirls...? geek = loser, anyway. you don't have to try very hard for that :> besides, plenty of geeks don't have fangirl journals :> it just depends on how enthusiastic & invested in minutiae & into being in that social niche you are. i think...?

[cellia.livejournal.com]

Am so with you about the anime Hanadan ending. But, man, they *could* have ended it at 49 (happy) or 50 (sad if a little rushed and thus out of nowhere). So I don't buy the middle of the manga excuse, because, um WTF WEDDING WTF???

I cannot get into all the stuff I'd need to, but your thoughts on Buffy here are a good example of differing opinions. :D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

No, no, I meant I am not incredibly good at worshipping things and I secretly think memorizing mindless trivia is for people who can't make up their mindless trivia-filled canon, and I always end up secretly thinking something like stuff like "get a life" or "this canon doesn't deserve my mindless adoration, in fact, nothing does, you mindless sheeps". Plus, while I am a loser as evidenced by my failure to accomplish anything in my life, I think I am a different kind of loser than the ones who, as reminded me by recent f_w thread, complain about the evil mundanes who bullied them nerds because I always think "duh, maybe they were making fun of your martyr complex" which is very mundane of me.

/secretly very evil

[malafede.livejournal.com]

though given to the fact that i seem to have a martyr complex though i still resist the notion maybe that's the geek side of me.

[cellia.livejournal.com]

But being obsessive is, like, the most important ingredient to being a geek (and/or fangirl)!

After careful consultation of the well-known geek hierarchy (unabridged) it is clear to me that you are a catagorizable geek. (I mean, I guess it is *possible* to write fanfic and not be a geek, but to write fanfic *and* be into anime and not be a geek...? Statistically, I'd say near-impossible.)

You are just a more... grumpy fan than most. :D

btw, are you using "mundane" like SF fen do? (although since SF is now pretty mainsteam, there's much less divide between fen and mundanes, but... well, like porn, I still think I know it when I see it ^^;;)

[malafede.livejournal.com]

using mundane in the sense of mainstream, yeah, though more in, uhm, spirit than actual content?? i don't actually like anything the current mainstream culture is producing (... unless HP is considered mainstream? man, it probably is BUT THEN AGAIN I DON'T LIKE IT >:D I only like its monsters *stubborn*) but I like the concept of not standing in front of a PC talking about how great this thing that someone *else* wrote but making up my own thing (Which I am not doing!!! but in theory.)

It seems the geek's mindset is the one of the follower in some respect and AHAHA this makes me laugh because i always call myself a follower. IT'S JUST THAT I'VE FOUND NO GOD BIG ENOUGH FOR ME YET. :D :D

I think I am like more indie in spirit than mundane. OR I'D LIKE TO BE. I just know I am not a fan, it goes against my very nature and total resistance to authority and probably the repressed voice of my ego (did you notice how much time I spend talking about myself??? All this frigging comment!!!). Maybe I am a nonfan indie geek.

Though I have to tell you I hate the idea of the geek hieracy so much. Because I love the idea of geeks but the hieracy seems to represent the flipside to that theoretically great reclamation of individuality. Liiiiike... aren't all geeks born equal no matter how strange-looking? But then you see that actually they too have a vendetta against those inferior human beings that are somehow in power (... does this mean I am a geek? I feel like I'm repressing something here too) and also get validated by superiority-trips over other groups.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Hehe I wouldn't have minded the wedding thing if it wasn't so... horribly out of nowhere and so... slick, I guess...? Like, it was almost like a joke :>

Hehehe yeah I know most reasonable people wouldn't have my opinion on the finale-- even a lot of B/S shippers hated season 7 and everything. Then again, all -I- needed was that flaming-hands moment, 'cause I'm just that easy :> :>

[malafede.livejournal.com]

all -I- needed was that flaming-hands moment, 'cause I'm just that easy

*spits blood at you*

[cellia.livejournal.com]

coughcoughbeingemotionallyoverinvestedisverygeekycoughcough

[cellia.livejournal.com]

This really calls for a Monty Python quote... :D *resists*

Liiiiike... aren't all geeks born equal no matter how strange-looking?

heh. You'd like to think so, no? The best parts of fandom to me are when it gives the stranger people of the world a place to feel normal and accepted.

But almost every fandom has ghettos within ghettos. Even weirdo people are human. It seems crappy, but I think many people who feel marginalized then have the urge to marginalize others (the anime geek who can't get a date, but lords his Japanese knowledge over the newbie fans, the worker emasculated by his boss who abuses his wife...) I'd think it'd be the opposite, people would see how much it sucks to be marginalized and have empathy, but that doesn't seem to be the way it works in general... Maybe because guys *really* have this biological need to have pecking orders? But chicks do it too, though I'd say less overtly... *ponders and comes to no real conclusion*

But, anyway... as much as it offends you, the funny of the geek hierarchy lies in it's truth (and dude, I always laugh at the last box)<--feels sad that you did not see the beauty of the geek hierarchy. we totally did not make that connection. *cries*

I think tearing down and overanalyzing is totally geek/fan (here I use to words interchangeably just to be confusing!). Like, who *but* a fan would pay enough attention and care enough to *really* tear something apart. Comics fans are always bitching. We love something bigger than what's always given to us, we have high expectations--thus complaints.

I think you can be a fan(atic) and still be v. critical. I think it's necessary actually. If you're really into something, you want to explore it and defend it, even from the bad bits of itself. There's something there that first draws your love and devotion and obsessive attention.

Maybe it's not the HP books though, maybe it's the potential of JKRs world, maybe it's the fandom itself? There is something there though, that makes you think it's worth your time.

Not that I know huge amounts about indie-ness, but (to me) that's more about just doing your own thing, so intense critique, focus on another's work, is inherently non-indie. Of course, so many of the indie people I've ever met follow that cliche about being non-conformists all in the same way...

If I had a point, it is long forgotten.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Shut up, that's just common sense.

what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

i... i think i want to be indie but have irresistible tendency to geekitude. *deep breath* admission is the first step to recovery.

i'd like to observe you in your comic environment. :D :D

oh, i didn't mean that the geek hieracy as a study is not great, it's just the phenomenon behind it that drives me mad. whyyyy rather than learning from the bitter taste of being mocked for being different that it's uncool mocking someone for being different do they let their thirst for revenge take the best of them? GEEKS.

mmmh words.

Re: what quote >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

whyyyy rather than learning from the bitter taste of being mocked for being different

because people never learn, man.

Re: what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

well if it's draco then it's okay. ♥

Re: what quote >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

you are like, the soul of bias :P hee

Re: what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

i love all wankers in my heart, it's the mass dynamic of them that's depressing.

that icon makes me want to strangle harry in his sleep.

Re: what quote >:D

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

The mass dynamic of every group is depressing. That's because groups suck. I like individuals, but groups? SUCK. Except sometimes they don't, but mostly, yeah. Group behavior brings out all the worst in people.


...Y'know, Harry could kick your ass even as a toddler, prolly ;)

Re: what quote >:D

[malafede.livejournal.com]

except for draco, who's pretty no matter what.

don't make me get communist on your arse, potter.