gossip....?

[reenka]

I'm having lj angst. Like, when I don't update for a bit, I feel like I'm not doing it enough-- and then sometimes I update-- gasp!-- twice a day, and it's another kind of angst. I can never be content. Lj = paranoia, man. Apparently there are taboo topics and things, like I'm not supposed to reveal my uber-sekrit defriending angst (supposing I had it), or my ultra-uber-sekrit resentment towards Boyd!Draco (omg, how ugly is that boy? then again, you're talking to the girl who thinks Leonardo diCaprio is... eh). Then there's all that juicy gossip-- 'cause really, reputation is the currency in fandom, no? We're not supposed to talk about that, 'cause that's wanky. I'm just lucky I don't have any sekrit vendettas to angst over, man.

I was just thinking earlier that I'm glad I'm like, never on Quick Quote or Daily Snitch or whatever-- I don't want to be some locus of lj fandom and attract attention and stuff-- though oddly, I love random feedback, just... not necessarily on lj. Go figure. Like, if I say I can't stand Snape/Draco or Draco/Ginny or whatever, I'm just talking about me, not... 'them', or 'those people who're not me'. Opinions don't sit well with me when they're a popularity contest. I mean, I almost like Draco/Ginny, even, as long as no one tries to pimp it. God.

On that note, I should say that I love the Fiction Alley review boards. You know why? People tell me they don't like my fics-- not all the time, but sometimes. All polite, like. Like, for one thing, it was too short, and it said "dear" too much. I loved that review. I'm like, awww, you're so sweet! I'm almost certain this person doesn't know me from RavynFire928947, but they took the time to say what they really thought and I wuv them. It's like, clearly it's not personal, they're just honestly responding. I wish I could hug them all, honestly. <3 I wish they never find lj and learn better. -.-

After a year of avoiding resonant8's `Transfigurations' because frankly, I've heard too much about it and felt like I knew what I needed to without reading, I've started & read the first chapter & I love it so far. Man, it's like, my bias has shrunk 'cause I do forget over time, and it just makes me nostalgic for the days when I read and had opinions on fic without knowing or caring about what its rep is. Like, I don't really care about fanon!Draco if it can sell it. Some people can sell it and some people can't, that's all.

Dude, I totally aced my LoTR paper without even reading the books. I was tempted to post it here, but it's just too boring and sad. I could if someone wants to see it, though. It's really sad what being on the fringes of fandom will do to your ability to meta-bullshit. Le sigh. My life = so hard. Also, I would totally do the drabble-my-first-lines meme if I didn't feel so very guilty for not getting to people's requested drabbles yet. My muse has left the building, I swear. It's eating Cheerios somewhere and I'm just stuck here with the milk-moustache. Woe.

Comments

[malafede.livejournal.com]

:D! i want to read the lotr paper.

ahaha. actually i just spent all morning answering on hd_discussion and had fun, but i should have been working on fic as pacted, shouldn't i? ahaha. i am just a bit hype because i realised that i never cared for fandom much (i care for the people inside, not for the group) and so i am all happy-go-lucky now in re="sides to fandom" and the neverending bs. i also think... i want to write my h/d fic, right, but i'd make it read to you like i'd make it read to roberta, you know? someone who's not in the fandom. it's ... my story, and i want to say things with it, not convert anybody...? it's a long hard road to self-realisation.

i don't get the reputation/image thing, probably because i only experienced in high school and back then i was like, whassup with that that you don't like me? pesky untermensh. ahaha. i mean, the way i am right now, i can understand and even relate in some distant way about people being worried about their image (i mean, nobody wants to be misundersood) but still, i think saying the truth is the best solution. even if someone's gonna hate you for it - i mean, whatever you say, even that you like cats more than dogs, somebody's gonna hate you for it. but for how much i disagree with an opinion, i always appreciate the honesty, you know? of course, i mean also intellectual honesty with that, which sort of excludes rabid biased attacks and generalisations on groups and all that gig.

(which would be why "h/d in hogwarts can never work", upset me when i am all bitter. because while it's not rabid, it's still biased and why does people always want to universalise their bias? but i also have mulder-syndrome and they're out to get me!!!!, i know, i know.)

i so know what you mean about the reviews on fap. isn't that the beauty of writing workshops? i think it was slytherlynx who said she started in fandom hoping it to be more a writing workshop than the social/literary hybrid that it is. well, we could cut a space for ourselves, i think.

i actually liked transfiguration the most of all the post-hogwarts novel-lenght fics that came out around that time. as per usual, it's the idea that "out prophet has come!" or "this is the only way we can write h/d" that never sat well with me. see, it's all meta and social issues. but as a story, it's entertaining.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

Oh, and: Draco may very well be ugly, but he will never be Boyd!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/wank

[shaggirl.livejournal.com]

I liked Transfigurations as well, with one nitpick - Draco calling Minerva 'Kitty'. That's like nails on a chalkboard for me. But, that's either a minor complaint or a major one (or not one at all) depending on the reader, and there's lots else in the fic to recommend it.

And yes, Lj = paranoia.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

It's not that I'm worried about my image, it's that if I say anything about other people, it's wanky, and if you do certain things, you can't help but know it'll get attention-- that sort of thing. It's not that I'm dishonest myself, but it bothers me knowing that people listen to me sometimes....?

I wish there was some sort of.... Well, it's just, not all fanon!Dracos are created equal. I wish there was some way of discussing it which was purely literary and not always back to 'is it canon??' wank.

[malafede.livejournal.com]

oh, i wasn't talking about you at all. :) i just meant everytime people say something like "i can't be sincere in public because i have my image!" to which i want to answer: "i suspect you enjoy self-aggrandising melodrama a tad too much, but if your motivations are sincere, then go ahead and state your opinion, i will respect you for it - unless you make some swiping generalisation like ALL FEMINISTS ARE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE WHACKOS WHO THINK COCK IS RAPE" because that's dishonest as well.

deciding to not state your opinion because the backlash's not worth it is smart, not cowardly - but still, it's your decision. you don't seem the kind of person that represses, ahaha.

I wish there was some way of discussing it which was purely literary and not always back to 'is it canon??' wank.

start a thread on hd_disc?

(... hd_disco would be a great community, too.)

[pink-faerie.livejournal.com]

I am in such aww of your ability to take constructive criticism. I'd burst out crying. Haha.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

Man, I lust after honesty above all else. I think it's the spice of life, ahahah. Also people can't hurt me unless I care about them ^^;; It's a nifty trick :>