~~ The Draco problem revisited (again!)
Sep. 10th, 2004 03:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkaOne reason I really can't stand a lot of the modern critical approach to fiction is because the process of framing a story in a rec/review often ruins it for me. I can't stand being made to see a story in a certain way, in terms of what it should mean, and I don't like it when the author themselves does it (because that's telling vs. showing), but I really hate it when a critic/reviewer's response to a piece is basically telling the reader how to respond by outlining that fic's emotional significance and general standing in relationship to other literature and various meta aspects of the field.
I can't decide whether this makes me a 'bad' English major, or just really uptight.
I may love a story, but I need to retain a complex relationship to it-- I need to keep my own response fluid and unfettered, to keep any emotional significance at least partly submerged and unconscious, because as soon as it starts being used and compared to other readers' emotional responses, I feel it's being used against me.
I genuinely believe that to really read with your whole brain, it's best to allow one's responses to occur-- emotional and intellectual-- without a built up context of outside, imposed meaning. It's almost dishonest that way, going into a story with expectations and needs that the story should either satisfy or leave empty. I feel that's putting too much of a weight on the reader's power and -their- needs rather than letting the story's intrinsic worth assert itself and win the reader over in whatever fashion.
This is why, partly, I do review directly-- give feedback to the author-- but I don't really review publically, with the intent to influence other readers. I may link to fics, but I cannot imagine that others' responses should be (could be?) anything like mine, or that others could or should see what I do in a fic. I know that this outside 'framing influence' would threaten to ruin my own chance at enjoyment, just because there will be that wall of expectation and pre-made analysis lying between me and the raw essence of the fic.
With something like Shakespeare and other classics, I feel it's different because there are so many voices out there that it's a chorus, and no one opinion has to dominate. Similarly, I don't mind talking about HP, because there are simply so many people talking about the books in every which way. But in less 'public' works, I feel I need that privacy-- that sanctuary, that almost sacred bond between me and the text. A reviewer (when read pre-reading) becomes something like a voyeur, almost, their whispered words making me see things that may or may not be there. However, the real 'violation' of the one-on-one between me and the fic comes when the review aims to make me -feel- things that may or may not be there.
I'm not saying 'reviewing is bad and evil and should be stopped'-- god, that would be stupid-- I'm just saying that personally, a certain kind of review, which aims to critically frame the story in a certain emotional context, ruins the private pleasure of reading for me almost entirely. That's just me, though.
~~
I really want to stop talking about H/D. Perhaps I should join a twelve-step program: how to stop obsessing, for the Perpetually Brainwash Resistant. Hmmm. I did have plans to talk about whether it's better to write characters one loves or hates (see, a nice abstract subject). Woe. Am hopeless t00b.
Anyway, the question of 'can Harry love canon!Draco' has been bugging me the past few days. Basically... I don't think so (and am ambivalent about how I feel about that). Typical ice-prince fanon!Draco wouldn't fare much better though; if anything, I have an intuition that Harry would hate him -more- because he's just so larger than life and over-inflated and fire-retardant and all of that. I mean... sure, there are 'cool' people Harry likes in a distant sort of 'oh, right' manner (the twins, I guess), but his friends are rather 'normal' as far as he can tell, I think.
What I'm saying is, I don't agree that Harry needs to build up anyone he likes/loves on a pedestal, not entirely-- I do think he wants to admire and respect them, but that's different. I think he likes feeling like they're great (like Sirius-- it's not that there are -reasons- for him to be great, he just is, to Harry), but not being overwhelmed by someone's sheer haughty cold grandeur or whatever. Then again, the truth is, fanon!Draco is clearly a fantasy extrapolation of what canon!Draco wishes he was (but isn't), so the trick here would be to ask what -Harry- wants, not what -Draco- wants. Since I'm pretty sure Draco wouldn't mind being his fanon self, whereas Harry likes actual sincerity and what he sees as integrity in human beings, as long as it's not over the top dramatics like with Cho.
Sometimes I think it's hilarious that I go on about wanting to read what I could believe was 'canonish' Draco in fic, especially when I realized that I don't actually -ship- canon!Draco with Harry (who doesn't really have more than one version in my head). I imagine lots of other people feel the same, though they say they ship H/D.
It's just very, VERY hard to write Harry wanting Draco (as is) convincingly, and not because of hate at all, but simply because Harry -disapproves- of Draco on a basic level. It's not that he loves or hates-- he just doesn't like him or respect him as a human being, I think. Draco is whiny, self-centered, probably clingy, nasty to people Harry likes & respects, weak and generally annoying in a thousand little ways. (This is Harry's pov, btw, not necessarily my own.)
So what to do? I'm starting to really feel like Harry wouldn't -like- Draco or accept him 'as is' (Ani DiFranco style) even if he -loved- and wanted to shag him senseless.
Basically, 'the problem with Draco' isn't that he's a 'snarky bastard' or an 'asshole' or a 'bad boy'-- that, Harry could definitely get over and accept. He's not the 'Big Bad'-- he's the annoying prat who's as spoiled as Dudley, as loud as Colin Creevey, and as stupidly prejudiced as his bastard father. What, exactly, is Harry going to like? In canon, he's even -wittier- than Draco, as far as I can tell.
Most people agree that H/D is what one might call a 'fanon' rather than 'canon' pairing-- meaning that its basic premise is drawn from the characters' -potential- rather than their actual dynamic. So in a way, writing H/D fully 'true to canon', starting from 'the beginning' (as I like to see done) can be seen as a form of shooting oneself in the foot before one started to actually move.
So... canon!H/D is kind of a sad joke (from Harry's pov-- canon Draco, I'm semi-convinced wanks over Potter more than he cares to remember, but that's probably my kink talking). It's a really frustrating realization for an H/D writer: (what if) I don't ship H/D in canon at all??... And yes, I'm that much of a Harry ho, what can I say. As far as canon!Draco goes-- well, I'm sorry for him & sometimes find him cute & sometimes funny, and sometimes even admirable in a twisted way. Mostly, I think he's a pathetic wanker who needs to grow up. And yes, that's partly my inner!Harry speaking, but so it goes regardless. Malfoy needs to get a grip on something other than himself-- or perhaps I mean the opposite-- what Malfoy needs to finally get a grip on himself, but for real.
For 'convincing' H/D (funny how I say that since I'm a shipper, and we're supposed to be 'already convinced', but I'm just funny I guess), on some level one has little choice but to 'mess with' canon. It's just a question of doing it 'right', as far as this pairing goes. Essentially, it all revolves around moving Draco forward in his development to make Harry see him as more of an equal, because it seems to me that that's what Harry would want.
So I guess I understand the conundrum that drives all the rampant fics out there about cool-assed-Master-of-Slytherin!Draco. I mean, if he's -cool-, I guess one could say he 'deserves' Harry (which I personally have problems with as a concept). The issue, to me, isn't who 'deserves' whom, but rather what the people involved want and need from a partner and whether a particular relationship can fulfill their needs. The idea of canon!Draco fulfilling Harry's needs makes me laugh (meanly). I'm sorry, Malfoy. You know I love you, but. Yeah.
Basically, it's just that I think snarky-sexy-cool!Draco fics go way overboard but still vaguely in the 'right' direction for a successful relationship to develop (whatever -that- means-- I suppose to me, it means a fulfilling one) between Harry and Draco. And it's this need to somehow develop Draco that appears to make people think they've got a free ticket to change his whole personality, which is ridiculous. Also arguably JKR herself has done it, ahahah. Sorry, random snark.
All Draco really needs is a good measure of self-confidence and self-awareness (no small goals, of course), because his utter lack of those two things combine to ensure Harry will never change his mind about him, and Draco, for his part, will never be secure enough in his own status as an individual to see Potter as just another boy, albeit one he loves/wants. Anyway, not seeing Potter as the bane of his existence and the reason for all his failures would also help.
I freely admit all this is mostly nothing but a rehash of things I've said before, but I just think some of these concepts are finally -solidifying- (after all this time, too!) in my head into a coherent whole. I'm finally seeing Harry's all-important motivations here rather clearly-- and it's not a pretty picture. All this would probably only seem significant if you know just how elusive and fuzzy his characterization and 'stand' in their dynamic had generally been to me in my own writing.
All those eons ago, I'd started out with a -way- vocal Draco muse which has almost completely dominated nearly all my H/D efforts, whether or not they were in Draco's pov. I -knew-, to the marrow of my bones, where my Draco was coming from, and Harry was sort of left to adjust and react (in one way or another) to his presence. It was always 'will Harry give in??' before, whereas now it's a more mutual problem, which might actually help my writing. Maybe.
I just realized that even if Harry 'gave in' and started a relationship with Draco, the deeper problem wouldn't be solved at all. Not if Draco remained a stupid whiny prat as far as Harry could see-- and love/lust doesn't necessarily have to mean seeing the person through rose-colored glasses, but especially in this case. *sigh*
So yeah. It really is up to Draco; and I'm starting to appreciate the merits of the transition if Draco's step forward occurred before Harry 'noticed' him, because doing H/D and Draco-transformation -concurrently- is-- well, it's a nightmare. Uh, very difficult, I mean. Makes my poor brain huuuurrrrt. Well, until I give up and go read/write H/D porn, anyway.
~~
Also, because, it needs to be said:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stellabelle wrote another hilarious H/D fic which made me snort & giggle & coo (alternatively, but sometimes at the same time). It is truly a Very Special Thing for a story to warm the cockles of my (dirty slapper!) heart just so. Awwwwwww. (I just can't take unfunny fluff, is all.)
See, the thing is-- I really don't have the emotional energy to read that much H/D anymore unless I 'trust' you as an author (and often even if I do). Even with the authors I adore... the 'H/D place' in my heart is... sore. I'm being careful, maybe, so I don't snap like I did this past winter and read -no- H/D for like, four months.stellabelle's fic is sort of... restorative in that regard. <3
I can't decide whether this makes me a 'bad' English major, or just really uptight.
I may love a story, but I need to retain a complex relationship to it-- I need to keep my own response fluid and unfettered, to keep any emotional significance at least partly submerged and unconscious, because as soon as it starts being used and compared to other readers' emotional responses, I feel it's being used against me.
I genuinely believe that to really read with your whole brain, it's best to allow one's responses to occur-- emotional and intellectual-- without a built up context of outside, imposed meaning. It's almost dishonest that way, going into a story with expectations and needs that the story should either satisfy or leave empty. I feel that's putting too much of a weight on the reader's power and -their- needs rather than letting the story's intrinsic worth assert itself and win the reader over in whatever fashion.
This is why, partly, I do review directly-- give feedback to the author-- but I don't really review publically, with the intent to influence other readers. I may link to fics, but I cannot imagine that others' responses should be (could be?) anything like mine, or that others could or should see what I do in a fic. I know that this outside 'framing influence' would threaten to ruin my own chance at enjoyment, just because there will be that wall of expectation and pre-made analysis lying between me and the raw essence of the fic.
With something like Shakespeare and other classics, I feel it's different because there are so many voices out there that it's a chorus, and no one opinion has to dominate. Similarly, I don't mind talking about HP, because there are simply so many people talking about the books in every which way. But in less 'public' works, I feel I need that privacy-- that sanctuary, that almost sacred bond between me and the text. A reviewer (when read pre-reading) becomes something like a voyeur, almost, their whispered words making me see things that may or may not be there. However, the real 'violation' of the one-on-one between me and the fic comes when the review aims to make me -feel- things that may or may not be there.
I'm not saying 'reviewing is bad and evil and should be stopped'-- god, that would be stupid-- I'm just saying that personally, a certain kind of review, which aims to critically frame the story in a certain emotional context, ruins the private pleasure of reading for me almost entirely. That's just me, though.
~~
I really want to stop talking about H/D. Perhaps I should join a twelve-step program: how to stop obsessing, for the Perpetually Brainwash Resistant. Hmmm. I did have plans to talk about whether it's better to write characters one loves or hates (see, a nice abstract subject). Woe. Am hopeless t00b.
Anyway, the question of 'can Harry love canon!Draco' has been bugging me the past few days. Basically... I don't think so (and am ambivalent about how I feel about that). Typical ice-prince fanon!Draco wouldn't fare much better though; if anything, I have an intuition that Harry would hate him -more- because he's just so larger than life and over-inflated and fire-retardant and all of that. I mean... sure, there are 'cool' people Harry likes in a distant sort of 'oh, right' manner (the twins, I guess), but his friends are rather 'normal' as far as he can tell, I think.
What I'm saying is, I don't agree that Harry needs to build up anyone he likes/loves on a pedestal, not entirely-- I do think he wants to admire and respect them, but that's different. I think he likes feeling like they're great (like Sirius-- it's not that there are -reasons- for him to be great, he just is, to Harry), but not being overwhelmed by someone's sheer haughty cold grandeur or whatever. Then again, the truth is, fanon!Draco is clearly a fantasy extrapolation of what canon!Draco wishes he was (but isn't), so the trick here would be to ask what -Harry- wants, not what -Draco- wants. Since I'm pretty sure Draco wouldn't mind being his fanon self, whereas Harry likes actual sincerity and what he sees as integrity in human beings, as long as it's not over the top dramatics like with Cho.
Sometimes I think it's hilarious that I go on about wanting to read what I could believe was 'canonish' Draco in fic, especially when I realized that I don't actually -ship- canon!Draco with Harry (who doesn't really have more than one version in my head). I imagine lots of other people feel the same, though they say they ship H/D.
It's just very, VERY hard to write Harry wanting Draco (as is) convincingly, and not because of hate at all, but simply because Harry -disapproves- of Draco on a basic level. It's not that he loves or hates-- he just doesn't like him or respect him as a human being, I think. Draco is whiny, self-centered, probably clingy, nasty to people Harry likes & respects, weak and generally annoying in a thousand little ways. (This is Harry's pov, btw, not necessarily my own.)
So what to do? I'm starting to really feel like Harry wouldn't -like- Draco or accept him 'as is' (Ani DiFranco style) even if he -loved- and wanted to shag him senseless.
Basically, 'the problem with Draco' isn't that he's a 'snarky bastard' or an 'asshole' or a 'bad boy'-- that, Harry could definitely get over and accept. He's not the 'Big Bad'-- he's the annoying prat who's as spoiled as Dudley, as loud as Colin Creevey, and as stupidly prejudiced as his bastard father. What, exactly, is Harry going to like? In canon, he's even -wittier- than Draco, as far as I can tell.
Most people agree that H/D is what one might call a 'fanon' rather than 'canon' pairing-- meaning that its basic premise is drawn from the characters' -potential- rather than their actual dynamic. So in a way, writing H/D fully 'true to canon', starting from 'the beginning' (as I like to see done) can be seen as a form of shooting oneself in the foot before one started to actually move.
So... canon!H/D is kind of a sad joke (from Harry's pov-- canon Draco, I'm semi-convinced wanks over Potter more than he cares to remember, but that's probably my kink talking). It's a really frustrating realization for an H/D writer: (what if) I don't ship H/D in canon at all??... And yes, I'm that much of a Harry ho, what can I say. As far as canon!Draco goes-- well, I'm sorry for him & sometimes find him cute & sometimes funny, and sometimes even admirable in a twisted way. Mostly, I think he's a pathetic wanker who needs to grow up. And yes, that's partly my inner!Harry speaking, but so it goes regardless. Malfoy needs to get a grip on something other than himself-- or perhaps I mean the opposite-- what Malfoy needs to finally get a grip on himself, but for real.
For 'convincing' H/D (funny how I say that since I'm a shipper, and we're supposed to be 'already convinced', but I'm just funny I guess), on some level one has little choice but to 'mess with' canon. It's just a question of doing it 'right', as far as this pairing goes. Essentially, it all revolves around moving Draco forward in his development to make Harry see him as more of an equal, because it seems to me that that's what Harry would want.
So I guess I understand the conundrum that drives all the rampant fics out there about cool-assed-Master-of-Slytherin!Draco. I mean, if he's -cool-, I guess one could say he 'deserves' Harry (which I personally have problems with as a concept). The issue, to me, isn't who 'deserves' whom, but rather what the people involved want and need from a partner and whether a particular relationship can fulfill their needs. The idea of canon!Draco fulfilling Harry's needs makes me laugh (meanly). I'm sorry, Malfoy. You know I love you, but. Yeah.
Basically, it's just that I think snarky-sexy-cool!Draco fics go way overboard but still vaguely in the 'right' direction for a successful relationship to develop (whatever -that- means-- I suppose to me, it means a fulfilling one) between Harry and Draco. And it's this need to somehow develop Draco that appears to make people think they've got a free ticket to change his whole personality, which is ridiculous. Also arguably JKR herself has done it, ahahah. Sorry, random snark.
All Draco really needs is a good measure of self-confidence and self-awareness (no small goals, of course), because his utter lack of those two things combine to ensure Harry will never change his mind about him, and Draco, for his part, will never be secure enough in his own status as an individual to see Potter as just another boy, albeit one he loves/wants. Anyway, not seeing Potter as the bane of his existence and the reason for all his failures would also help.
I freely admit all this is mostly nothing but a rehash of things I've said before, but I just think some of these concepts are finally -solidifying- (after all this time, too!) in my head into a coherent whole. I'm finally seeing Harry's all-important motivations here rather clearly-- and it's not a pretty picture. All this would probably only seem significant if you know just how elusive and fuzzy his characterization and 'stand' in their dynamic had generally been to me in my own writing.
All those eons ago, I'd started out with a -way- vocal Draco muse which has almost completely dominated nearly all my H/D efforts, whether or not they were in Draco's pov. I -knew-, to the marrow of my bones, where my Draco was coming from, and Harry was sort of left to adjust and react (in one way or another) to his presence. It was always 'will Harry give in??' before, whereas now it's a more mutual problem, which might actually help my writing. Maybe.
I just realized that even if Harry 'gave in' and started a relationship with Draco, the deeper problem wouldn't be solved at all. Not if Draco remained a stupid whiny prat as far as Harry could see-- and love/lust doesn't necessarily have to mean seeing the person through rose-colored glasses, but especially in this case. *sigh*
So yeah. It really is up to Draco; and I'm starting to appreciate the merits of the transition if Draco's step forward occurred before Harry 'noticed' him, because doing H/D and Draco-transformation -concurrently- is-- well, it's a nightmare. Uh, very difficult, I mean. Makes my poor brain huuuurrrrt. Well, until I give up and go read/write H/D porn, anyway.
~~
Also, because, it needs to be said:
stellabelle wrote another hilarious H/D fic which made me snort & giggle & coo (alternatively, but sometimes at the same time). It is truly a Very Special Thing for a story to warm the cockles of my (dirty slapper!) heart just so. Awwwwwww. (I just can't take unfunny fluff, is all.)See, the thing is-- I really don't have the emotional energy to read that much H/D anymore unless I 'trust' you as an author (and often even if I do). Even with the authors I adore... the 'H/D place' in my heart is... sore. I'm being careful, maybe, so I don't snap like I did this past winter and read -no- H/D for like, four months.
stellabelle's fic is sort of... restorative in that regard. <3
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 07:43 am (UTC)On Harry loving Canon!Draco...s'funny, but I have no problem imagining it. I don't see it as fated or anything, but to me it seems like they're both jerks in different ways and they could easily grow up into wiser men that might have things in common. Sure Harry thinks Draco's all dismissable and a big nothing, but then isn't that what's supposed to be so dreadful about Draco too, that he judges people that way?
Thing is, I agree Harry doesn't need to put someone up on a pedestal...that's not what he does. His friends are almost self-consciously chosen for not being on a pedestal. He likes Ron because they bond over being losers in life that first day, Hermione's got no friends and is pretty hard to take sometimes, Hagrid's a big oaf who needs Harry's help to teach. He doesn't much like anybody in the DA either. (In fact, speaking of minor irritants, that's Zacharias to me as well: "Hi, I'm here to provide minor but ultimately harmless conflict so that Harry can be shown to be learning to get along with difficult people without really having to and to fool careless readers into thinking I'm the traitor!") What he does do, I think, is once he's friends with them he feels badly about being irritated with them and so becomes doubly protective of them and won't hear about their flaws. That, I guess, is what he thinks friends do. So he LOVES that Ron is sometimes kind of hapless and has to struggle and doesn't get what he wants...but when Ron starts irritating him about it he feels guilty and must like him even more because of those things. He gets angry when Hagrid makes him uncomfortable as a teacher so loudly proclaims he's great. It's kind of a different thing--and sort of endearing.
So when it comes to Draco it doesn't really seem like a problem. Draco's full of flaws and insecurities and humiliations. If something happened that made Harry actually like him those would become more acceptable--in fact, and maybe this is what's interesting about H/D--it would be more interesting because with Draco Harry really couldn't realistically go into hyper-protective "I will not hear a bad thing about him!" mode, because he's already there himself. I can easily see them being able to talk to each other and all that. If Harry can be friends with Hermione, which I find to be an even bigger stretch, he could talk to a Malfoy he didn't hate.
He's more of a challenge than some other characters because he's so irritating--and he is irritating. I've never yet bought the story that Harry really doesn't care about Draco at all. Granted he gets distracted by larger concerns, but Draco's still the only kid his age that really makes him angry and gets his attention and gives him satisfaction when he's hurt. Harry, after all, is all about indifference. When Harry's indifferent he doesn't act like he does to Draco, by making a point of ignoring him until he snaps and flies at him. When Harry's indifferent you know it because he doesn't know your name, or realize you've been in class with you for years. Harry's indifferent to most kids at Hogwarts. Draco's never been one of them. If Draco weren't in Slytherin Harry would probably feel much the same about it as he does about Ravenclaw--iow, not at all, except for perhaps the occasional eerie thought about that being Voldemort's house. He'd still be dislike it as a house, but I doubt he'd hate it the way he does.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 09:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 10:39 am (UTC)<3
Date: 2004-09-10 11:17 am (UTC)Re: <3
Date: 2004-09-10 11:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-10 02:07 pm (UTC)That's the crux-- if something happened. Well, in canon, nothing -has- happened. Y'know? So every story has to make something convincing happen, and that 'thing' doesn't just -exist- in my head or anything-- it's always a different... 'thing' that happens. But there needs to be a 'thing'. But without that event, do I ship/want them together? Well, I don't know! I love H/D friendship, you know that-- and I love Silvia's `And I Get By', where Harry loves/enjoys the mean unsavory things about Malfoy because they appeal to something in him, and he sees the humor/attraction to Malfoy's crooked little world. I wasn't ever saying Harry doesn't care-- I was saying Harry doesn't approve, and that's my inner Harry telling me, rather than me telling whoever, y'know? I never said Harry's indifferent. He thinks Malfoy is disgusting, vile, pathetic, stupid-looking and also he kind of SMELLS BAD. Y'know. Like I said, my Harry muse has been loud :>
As I wrote to
Which is this whole post was ill-conceived and pretty pointless and misguided, so I locked it. I was lost in Harry and forgot about the journey... which was stupid, since that's the whole point, really, what was I think? But Harry doesn't know about the journey, that's all meta....
Point is, Draco doesn't love Harry 'yet' except in some very meta sense, y'know? and of course Harry doesn't love Draco. It's their journey to love that's the point, impossible and thorny and painful and exasperating as it is. *sigh* So even though Harry can love Draco 'if', etcetc, it doesn't help the point is that neither of them can love the other 'as is', y'know? Meh. I'm overdosing again, methinks.