~~ sentimentally yours.
Sep. 10th, 2003 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reenkawah. this is a silly, sentimental thing, but.
siiiiiigh. hana-dan (the `hana yori dango' manga) is over.
eep. i'm all "......" and... i dunno. it's weird when stories finally come to an end, after a long, long time following them (more than a year now). i haven't had that happen yet with any fanfic (or any serialized thing that i've read/seen -everything- of, except one comic), and it just feels so... soft and empty, like i'm floating in space and i don't know how to feel except it's -over- and it's not -bad- exactly, just... different. i don't know if it's just that i don't like change-- because i don't feel like i -hate- it, just... usually things end with a bang (in my life) or just totally stretch out to the point of pain. it doesn't tend to just dissipate like mist, soft and warm and then it's gone.
i've been feeling all sentimental ever since yesterday with the meme. hee. that really rocked me (in a good way). i'm really not used to positive (or negative) attention on some sort of noticeable scale. i mean, usually it just freaks me out, but if it's people i -like- and admire, there's just this really warm feeling. wah.
and then i drew large animal bones for art class today, and -that- was relaxing and then hanadan ended. i've had a big investment in tsukushi and tsukasa at one point; probably my favorite anime couple, as big as h/d except i didn't write fanfic for them. i mean, i love shion/mokuren (now -there's- obscure for ya), but i totally mary-sue tsukushi like no tomorrow. that used to hold me back, i think. writing/reading boy/girl or girl/girl (not that i -read-, but i wrote them) romances, it's too easy to just say, "wah, i'm just like that" or "wah, i want that". and i want rui & tsukasa for myself, too, and i want to -be- tsukushi: the weed. i probably wouldn't dig almost -any- of the het ships i've been into if i wasn't like, "oooh, wanna -have- that boy". it's been a relief to ship slash ships since i as of yet haven't -wanted- either of the parties for myself in any of my fandoms, no matter how minor.
siiiiigh. it feels like growing up, a little. not taking things so personally all the time, maybe. this is so weird-- i just meant to say, "uwah, hanadan over!!" and now there's this blather. typical.
anyway. i'll see lasair tomorrow (!!!). so muwahahaha & <333 to you all.
on a last note.
i wish people would tell me goodbye before they unfriended me. but mostly that's just me feeling sentimental, i think. like, "bye, it's been good knowing you". because it's been very very good, knowing all of you.
siiiiiigh. hana-dan (the `hana yori dango' manga) is over.
eep. i'm all "......" and... i dunno. it's weird when stories finally come to an end, after a long, long time following them (more than a year now). i haven't had that happen yet with any fanfic (or any serialized thing that i've read/seen -everything- of, except one comic), and it just feels so... soft and empty, like i'm floating in space and i don't know how to feel except it's -over- and it's not -bad- exactly, just... different. i don't know if it's just that i don't like change-- because i don't feel like i -hate- it, just... usually things end with a bang (in my life) or just totally stretch out to the point of pain. it doesn't tend to just dissipate like mist, soft and warm and then it's gone.
i've been feeling all sentimental ever since yesterday with the meme. hee. that really rocked me (in a good way). i'm really not used to positive (or negative) attention on some sort of noticeable scale. i mean, usually it just freaks me out, but if it's people i -like- and admire, there's just this really warm feeling. wah.
and then i drew large animal bones for art class today, and -that- was relaxing and then hanadan ended. i've had a big investment in tsukushi and tsukasa at one point; probably my favorite anime couple, as big as h/d except i didn't write fanfic for them. i mean, i love shion/mokuren (now -there's- obscure for ya), but i totally mary-sue tsukushi like no tomorrow. that used to hold me back, i think. writing/reading boy/girl or girl/girl (not that i -read-, but i wrote them) romances, it's too easy to just say, "wah, i'm just like that" or "wah, i want that". and i want rui & tsukasa for myself, too, and i want to -be- tsukushi: the weed. i probably wouldn't dig almost -any- of the het ships i've been into if i wasn't like, "oooh, wanna -have- that boy". it's been a relief to ship slash ships since i as of yet haven't -wanted- either of the parties for myself in any of my fandoms, no matter how minor.
siiiiigh. it feels like growing up, a little. not taking things so personally all the time, maybe. this is so weird-- i just meant to say, "uwah, hanadan over!!" and now there's this blather. typical.
anyway. i'll see lasair tomorrow (!!!). so muwahahaha & <333 to you all.
on a last note.
i wish people would tell me goodbye before they unfriended me. but mostly that's just me feeling sentimental, i think. like, "bye, it's been good knowing you". because it's been very very good, knowing all of you.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 02:57 pm (UTC)*hugs for you both*
Cause, I'm like, *affectionately* resentful.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-10 03:59 pm (UTC)meep. now you know how i feel all the time, hee, 'cause i can be jealous of both of you at the same time. *giggles*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-11 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-11 10:12 am (UTC)usually i feel awkward with brown, but i like the way it turned out. it's not -muddy-, at least -.-
hee
no subject
Date: 2003-09-11 07:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-11 10:11 am (UTC)my favorite bit about endings was at the end of `brief lives', a quote by chesterton, but damned if i haven't totally forgotten it right now -.-
will get back to you~:)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-11 04:03 pm (UTC)Seriously, why do authors do that? I always feel like it's so stingy, like they have to say, "Mine mine mine until they DIE!" on all the characters. Especially in this case where it's not like the story's taking place in the 1800's. It's always been happening in the present, so it's awful to suddenly spin a telescope into the future. It's pretty much a coming of age story and those should not end in telling us what happened in adulthood. The point is that their lives are about to *begin* now.
Can you see how upset I already am about this?:-)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 12:39 pm (UTC)depends how it's done. sometimes, if it's cute, then it's okay. i guess mostly it's just that the writer has this over-developed need for closure, and i always found her books to be very neat in that they followed up almost all their loose-ends. that's what i noticed in OoTP-- just how many loose ends she was tying up.
i'd imagine it'd drive her insane if she just had to leave things hanging forever, at the end ^^;
no subject
Date: 2003-09-11 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 12:25 pm (UTC)i totally don't even listen to as much ani as i want to, 'cause it takes me forever to get the actual cds-- i just have a random smattering of songs, and `falling is like this' only in a qaf vid, eheheh -.-
i'm not really a "real fan" of any musician in the sense that i have all their stuff and am an expert. which sucks.
but yeah. i don't think even all ani fans `get' her on a deep level, but i really do-- some songs, anyway. it's like, she says things so simply & powerfully that i can feel it on my -skin-. `untouchable face' is only rivaled by `silent all these years' as far as `the song that makes me relive everything every single time' goes-- not in a happy "awww, luv" sort of way but in a i'm-feeling-all-of-it-at-once-right-now sort of way. she has the powah ^^
no subject
Date: 2003-09-13 12:59 pm (UTC)I am trying to be a fan of Ani... (whiny voice) there are SO MANY CDs! I'm getting there, though... I saw her live, which persuaded me to (try to) become a full-fledged fan. She's really cool live.
Probably the only person I could claim knowing a lot about is Jewel, and I'm so angry with the direction she's gone nowadays, I find it hard to talk about her. Mumph.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 12:14 pm (UTC)this is so beautiful that it makes me sort of weepy. it's the perfect accompanyment to your writing.
now, you shall be unstopable.
(feel free to say no, but. would you like to make my journal a layout? cause i dunno how and this is just gorgeous. honestly, you can say no. i don't mind.)
no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 12:30 pm (UTC)sure, i can make you a splash image, those are fun~:))
but er... to make a lay-out, i'd need access to your `modify journal' page, otherwise i dunno how to do it :/
you can kind of go to the
no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 12:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 12:32 pm (UTC)you are an angeldoll.