~~ fic repost!! sara's birthday!! my draco meme!! exclamation points!!

[reenka]

My Draco....

- would secretly regret it if he admitted to himself he'd hurt someone.
- honestly believes he's not priviledged enough.
- doesn't think he'll ever age
- hates second-guessing himself, but does it anyway
- has flashes of self-awareness which disturb him more than anything
- thinks he masturbates too much.
- sometimes he thinks there's a law of the universe that says he just can't win
- feels most alive when he's flying or confronting potter
- privately thinks he's too short and pale, although he's a malfoy and thus these things are perfect.
- as a rule of thumb, when in doubt, blames someone else.
- tries not to think too long about the future.
- doesn't really -like- girls that much. or boys.
- wishes he could stop thinking about potter entirely.
- admires potter for refusing him, but would never admit it to himself.
- has severe fits of home-sickness and nostalgia.
- gets cold easily, and wishes slytherin wasn't in the dungeons. only thinks this when alone.
- has flashes of affection for crabbe, goyle and pansy, and this greatly annoys him.
- hates being hugged.
- wants to -kick- potter, just once, but would never let himself be seen touching him in any way.
- doesn't see what the big deal is: mudbloods and muggles are just outsiders: who wants them?
- would say absolutely anything to get a rise out of potter.
- sometimes wishes he could cry.
- sometimes catches himself just watching potter and not sneering; hates potter even more.
- hates: house elves, losing, looking stupid, potter, his father sometimes, potter, mudbloods, potter, looking less than his best, potter, being foiled, no one getting his sense of humor, potter, his mother forgetting his birthday, hufflepuffs, weasleys, gryffindors, people who think rules were made for everybody but them, dangerous animals, girls who won't put out, anyone who likes potter, potter, being afraid, broccoli, being drunk, being ignored, being pitied, liver, when his father looks at him like -that-.
- loves: getting one up on potter, making his father proud, being mean, amusing himself, imagining what he'd do if he ruled the world, taking long scented baths, being beautiful, making pansy swoon, making potter look at him like -that-, making weasley spontaneously combust, winning, being teacher's pet, mummy, flying, quidditch, being a malfoy, being better than everybody else, being told he's brilliant, things going his way, being clever, being well-fed, his ingenious schemes, being right, not being sorry, his dreams.
~~

    reposting! blaming it on penelope_z! ahahah i'm trying to manipulate you aaalllll. mwuahahahahaah. ahem.
    anyway. my fic is too long to post here. *weeps* this means i'll get even less comments than usual (which basically means, okay, hopefully at least sara likes it). if i were to make it um... more fulfilling in the porn dept., it'd be... a lot longer. it has been noted many a time that h/d realism requires foreplay. a lot... of foreplay. *snickers*
    EDIT - but..! but...! er... i tried. i did. not as hard as i could've, but man, i'm big with the paranoia right now. *WIBBLE*

anyway.

( `Sooner Or Later' - H/D NC17 - Semi-Angsty Semi-Smutty Fic For The Loffly Sara's Birthday )

Comments

Nice try, my wily friend...

[ashjay.livejournal.com]

..but you will not shake my comments so easily. Hah. They're going in here, baby. *g*

And so:

Er, exactly what are you worried about again? This is excellent. It's not angsty exactly, or that wouldn't be the term that springs to mind, it's just... lost. Harry's not tearing himself apart over what he can't change, it's like he's just trapped where he is and it's unbearable.

Seriously, I'm very impressed by how well you transitioned between the lost-angst of Harry's thoughts and the dark-lost quality of Draco's thoughts and then mixed them all together to culminate in some kick-ass smut.

There's one line in there that keeps coming back to me, so much so that I had to open up the page again to re-read it, and so much so that I *didn't* have to open up the page again to be able to quote it more or less verbatim here:

Harry would have thought (if he thought of these things) that Malfoy would smell of something spicy, something that would burn Harry's mouth of sweetness.

Just... gah. I love that line. I love the whole story. Stop wibbling. *g*

Ash

Re: Nice try, my wily friend...

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

eeek. *giggles* i'd never try to get away from my beloved one comment. *laughs*
must cling! *clings*

well you know how it is... must wibble if no other option presents itself. and it wasn't smutty enough. i mean, that just had some fantasies and some masturbation and you know, that's not smut that's a case of blue-balls ><;;
hee. i think of it as smut 'cause it's like... not drama, not fluff, not sap... there you go, angst~:)
but thankyou >:D<
wibbling a lot less now. it only takes The One you know. the one reviewer. saves me from literary hara-kiri. or something.

*laughs*

[oik.livejournal.com]

It is unecessary to add me, I just wanted to let you know I'm adding this journal to my friends list because I like what you have to say. I find it to be quite amusing. If you would like me to not add you just let me know.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

er, thanks >:D
always v. appreciative when someone reads my userinfo and introduces themselves and so on. sometimes i do worry about people adding me flippantly 'cause then they drop flippantly and that sort of prickles, but mostly i love it >:D
i also didn't realize hp meta was amusing, but this is encouraging to know~:)

~reena

[oik.livejournal.com]

Ah, I didn't mean to be disrespectful, I just wanted you to know I was reading your journal.

While I admit most fan writing is rather agonizing to read, yours is indeed amusing. Perhaps it is that unlike most writers I come across on the internet, you have some sense of how to properly use the English language.

Plus your non-fan writing is interesting as well.
::shrugs::

[oik.livejournal.com]

And actually, I didn't even read your user info until just now..

[addictedkitten.livejournal.com]

YOU WROTE ME PORN I LOVE YOU!!!1

Not that I didn't love you before, but um. This really like, cemented my affections.

Yeah, so, aieeee this was lovely. Just the right amount of bitter, and so them, and just, oooh. Bottom!Draco, my darling boy. And oh, the masturbation, and all the gorgeous adolescent pain. I do like how you structured it. With the ouch, and then the yay! And still with the teenaged boy awkwardness. Eeee I love them. And you! For writing this for me, that's so like sweet and stuff. <333 Thank you!

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

heee >:D
amsoglad! amsolazy with responding! bad me! -.-
but. was wibbly 'cause wow, i actually wrote it in more than one sitting so obviously it has to have paid off (ha) and yet i couldn't tell its quality for the life of me, and all i could tell was that it wasn't really a -lemon-, but the thing is, the reason i wrote it was cuz thess has this icon that says, "he loves him and it hurts" and i was like, 'wow i should write something with that', and i dunno if i did it justice (i mean, the whole... "well that's how it is and it's not changing and the love is there and so is the pain" fatalism that appealed to me).

the smutty bits were just for youuuuuu >:D
i was trying to work in some sort of fisticuffs ('cause, you know, yah), but it really wasn't happening. i have to wonder if i -can- write fisticuffs, all things considered.

but. eeeeeeee you liiiiiked, i'm so bouncyhappyglad >:D
(and man, i overuse >:D lately, like a lot).
<3!
my porn-writing hand is at your disposal, milady >:D

[greenapricot.livejournal.com]

That was wonderful. Wonderful.

I read it last night, amid many interruptions, and didn't get a chance to comment so, I've come back just now to do that and I read it again. And, though I didn't think it was possible to like it more than I already did, I liked even more the second time around.

The whole feeling is amazing, the wanting-but-not-wanting-to-admit-it and they're both so damn stubborn and prideful and I can feel it just hanging over everything. You could cut the tension with a knife. The thoughts in the back of their heads that they are trying not to look at. And they both want the same thing but they deal with it so differently, but so the same. So perfectly them. And so so good. *gushes* Their thoughts, the smut, the whole thing... just brilliant.

Oh, and I don't know if I said it before or not (I probably didn't because I'm bad like that *feel guilty*) but I have friended you, cause, well, I love the way you write and, even if I don't comment on them, I do enjoy reading your meta posts.

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

eeeeee, thanks!! detailed comments are my crack. well, right after h/d smut, anyway >:D
especially since i didn't have any particular goal with this except the rather obscure desire to write diverging timelines (heh) and use that one line, so it's particularly fascinating hearing what people took away from it~:)

and um, it's okay, since you've commented on fic before i figure that must be a reason (it's the people who never say anything that perplex me, heh).
amsoglad you liked!
eventually, i'll believe my paranoia is unjustified. or not ><;;

~reena

[ivyblossom.livejournal.com]

Did you know that 'Sooner or Later' is already an H/D fic in the HP fandom? It's pretty good. hautemonde wrote it. :)

[yourpoison.livejournal.com]

*facepalms*
wah. i think i read it and completely forgot about it. *weeps* should i... er... rename it?
this brings back the whole `power play' debate. eek. well, i didn't mean to um....yah. i didn't mean to take her title. though, i'm pretty sure they're otherwise unrelated ><;;

[(Anonymous)]

Good story. Somewhat realistic and very good.
-Tangent