~~erk.

[reenka]

so, having read ivyblossom's post on apparent homophobia (& gay objectification) among slash-readers (though it raised a number of other issues), i could no more help rambling on than a number of other people ><;;



well, strangely enough, the thing that jumped out at me in ivy's (amazingly thought-provoking on many many counts) post was the bit about writing h/d because of a fascination with heroes, righteousness, and fear. and i'm like, -yes-! i mean-- i noticed-- in the back of my mind. and her harry is probably a big reason for why i see harry the way i do, because well, i didn't read the canon first, and hers was probably my second hp fanfic.

so often, the stories make a point of disenchanting harry, of making him a "normal boy", messed up and confused and just doing the best he can, out for not so much justice as revenge-- and there's definitely canon backing for it. but personally, with all my sci-fi/fantasy/comics geek background, i find heroes so fascinating.... i just can't let go of thinking of harry as having the issues of a hero, as well.

and of course, with h/d, how perfect is that? gryffindor=bravery, and harry is the poster boy of gryffindors-- and slytherins are supposed to be the antithesis. cowardly, self-serving, malicious, merciless, and so on. the anti-heroes. in a way you need them for contrast, to even define what it means to be a hero in the first place.

and of course this also ties into my favorite dynamic of all time, love vs. fear. you could say-- especially in harry potter-- that his hero's strength/courage comes from love-- the love of his mother, his protectiveness/caring about his friends. love can transform and protect quite literally, in the potterverse. and so of course it begs the question of whether it can transform draco, as well.

aside from the issues of free will vs. destiny (involved in aja's `love under will', but also IP and probably 75% of all h/d fics to some degree), love vs fear is pretty much the dominant Question posed by exploring harry & draco's archetypical relationship in any depth, and the one that fascinates me the most, of course.

but of course, that's not why i love h/d, or even write h/d, personally. i mean, the issues are in the background, kind of. i don't consciously -study- them as a case study of some sort or anything *laughs* it's just something that gives me pleasure, that makes me happy, because i find it so intense and romantic and passionate and explosive and full of possibilities for angst and fluff and redemption and self-realization and well-- hotness, heh.

which brings me to um. the hotness issue.
i don't write nc-17 to get off-- well-- i don't think i would do it if i was asexual, or not interested-- but the better, more emotionally charged the sex-scene, the more transcendental and meaningful, the less -base- and stupid it is-- the more i find myself seeing it almost-- spiritually rather than physically, personally. and your sex scenes are kinda like that. i always found them transcendant and beautiful, but not necessarily smutty.

i do -read- nc-17 for its erotic charge. i mean. i like sex, and h/d having sex seems yummy, and reading it is pleasant *grins* in a "really hot" sort of way :D

i dunno. reading erotica involves a weird sort of set-up in one's head. personally, i don't so much objectify as identify, as i do with most fiction. i mean, i sort of think both harry/dan and tom/draco are deliriously cute, but it's not like i want to sleep with them because well-- they're ickle, as everyone says (i mean, i wouldn't even date anyone 4 years younger, forget 10), and they don't seem to be my type (ach, you poor ickle plebes), and also, i like harry & draco -together-, not with -me-, duh! seems simple enough :D RPS freaks me out.... it does. but. i was corrupted, so i think they're cute together. since it's all memes and -they- don't get to read it and it's -just in our heads-, it's not so bad. when done well~:) heh. marysia did it well, i thought.

finally, just to touch upon the last point that jumped out at me--

why do i write/read [h/d] slash... (and how could one write/read slash and remain homophobic-- although to that, i would say, well-- they're not really reading what they're reading-- this happens a lot with many things. say, the bible, heh).

well, answer a) would be, it's h/d! they're beautiful and intense and hot and deep and romantic and thought-provoking, blah blah.

but that's just h/d and i do like other slash pairings... though not necessarily slash for slash's sake. though i do like boy/boy relationships/stories/movies/etc-- i'm just-- er, weird that way? mostly non-sexual, even. i've just always liked boys who love boys, straight boys (for most of my life), who are just -affectionate-. this ties into the whole, it's more special to have boys who feel things demonstratively, because it's rarer.

it became sexualized when i accidentally came across my first slash-fic. i found it romantic (still the boy-love), and yet even -more- romantic because it can also express itself physically. the same old delight in unexpected male emotion, bonding against all odds, and so on, except now they can just-- have each other. aww. ~:)

won't deny i also found it hot. *sigh*
but then anything i find that emotionally/mentally stimulating and beautiful and just-- perfect-- i'm likely to find hot. er. ever since my brain started leaning that way (yah, corrupted by slash. ah well). in a good way, though, i like to think.

Comments

[lasultrix.livejournal.com]

Completely irrelevant to your post - I tried sending you my favourite ficlet ever, but the e-mail address you have in your LJ userinfo doesn't seem to work. If you have another address you'd like me to send it to, please e-mail lasair@excite.com.